r.i.p., fein art

:( :( :(

nearly matching special dates

tomorrow i'm 58, & he is 9 months on friday. these are happy pix of us on the way to the gig. it went really well considering james's back was so very out. we are so grateful to have made it to this point, having walked through the fire together. we are so very grateful.

another trip around the sun!!!! & other shtuhph

i'm going to be 58 in a few days. fifty-eight!!!! i should've perished long ago!! weak immune system, addictions, idiocy, dangerous behaviors & associations, anaphylaxis, uncooperative infernal coconut... the only thing still in play is that immune system, but i think change of eating habits is strengthening that (least i hope!).

so here is my birthday list: first, food -- laura scudder's natural crunchy peanut butter, berry jams, aussie bites. next, practical stuff: strong rope, large plastic bags, duct tape, mailing tape, bungee cords (i shared that w/my sister & she replied, "that's a serial killer kit!") my family also is looking for a faux pearl choker for me, to replace the one i lost on the last day of school. certainly a killer wouldn't want such an item!! :D

on a sad note, i found out last wk that someone i used to know well has alzheimers. :( this person made his life with words, connections, the hollywood hustle. he was completely in love with rock 'n' roll & even had a license plate frame that read, "i'd rather be jerry lee lewis"!! since i don't believe i'll ever see him again, i wanted to write that i hope his suffering is minimal, his good times as plenty as possible. our friendship dropped away when i married james, but that's ok: i had it for a while, & he was cool, really cool, bc his passion for the written word & american music was TRUE! and not much's cooler than authenticity, no amount of posing or posturing... this coincides w/the recent connection i made with a pal from 35 yrs back. it turns out this fellow has constructed a vr class for memory-care patients! it is called oyveyvr, & now you can look it up, too. i've been privy to reviewing some of the class content & realized while doing so that my knowledge of what works w/kids allows me to pass along to stu what might work w/his clientele. i would think learners in assisted living also need activation of prior knowledge, realia, visits from experts, breaks, opportunities to discuss, sing, review, & (as possible) move, write, draw, play, etc. i feel really fortunate to have this opportunity! chances to help must never be ignored!

am waiting for mister james to rise from slumber so we can go to a gig down in east LA. it's the only one this summer since he has been focusing on other life realms... we're unsure if it's private or public, so we have no publicity! that's ok; it will be good to play... i just went to an ai site & typed woman playing piano and drums frankenstein monster style and this came up. it is fine for now, for although not very accurate (apparently ai is patriarchal, cuz look who's playing the instruments -- not the woman!), it was instantaneous & is cool-enough! :D

"without obsession, life is nothing." - john waters

here are pix of me with some glamorous gals. the ones at bottom are with rara, in a blue cocktail number that stole the room. rara goes with joe finkle, who travels the world with his music, & she posts high-glamour, exciting pix of their itinerant life together. the other pix are with seester angie in vintage pearls & robin's-egg plaid & sister dawn, who has long been outrageous & diva & funny & fashion-forward. seeing all of the dresses & get-ups @ angie & doug's pink & blue country club charity gala made the event fun for me (along w/ the delicious watermelon served). that's one of my favorite things to do at an event: what is everyone wearing? that's one reason i'd like to go to a sag-aftra event, if james gets around to focusing on that part of his life. i imagine the ppl would be very young & genetically gifted, but there also would have to be much glorious sartorial wonderfulness. i suppose i just could go to a club. or an art event. (i remember once going to an art show in smellay & phil alvin was there in a gold sharkskin suit.).. or, most lazily, i can just scroll on my device & sigh/gasp @ pix of outrageous, elegant, wonderful style... angie is planning another event in fall, a bbq "hoedown" with food, cake walk, games, dancing, live music (including us). we went shopping the other day in bakersfield, & @ an antique mall, she already was planning what she would wear, which was fun to hear. i don't think enough about fashion, but i do love it in my way. in fact, one time a guy said, "you have enough clothing to dress an entire 3rd-world country." i don't know how i felt about that, but it was funny, so there you go.

rrrrrrgggrrrrrrrrgrrgrgrgggrrrrrrrr

i know james has been an at-times polarizing figure in his career, to state it mildly, but when i learn of someone talking trash about him, i want to rip out their eyeballs... well, now that i wrote that, the reality would be excessive & gruesome... so maybe i'd prefer to have someone smash them in the nose, then maybe kick or stomp them a few times... i'd ask my sister, who looks like a mild-mannered, benign, gray-haired creative; no one would expect her to have a**-kicking powers... ok, having written that, i realize that, too, seems a bit excessive... so maybe i'd just go find their dirty secrets (not so hard in this online world) & post them for all to see. yes, that's likely more what i would do... back when i was a more public figure, ppl talked smack about me here & there. i took that, so i can take this. anyways, anyone who talks crap about james just doesn't know him. he's made mistakes like everybody, but he is brave & strong & funny & a survivor, prodigiously talented, a unique thinker who is kind to animals, children, & old people, & he has made Mama laugh louder than i've ever heard her laugh, & he's Dad's tight pal & friend. so my higher self should remember all of that & just glide past the misguided, likely-envious words of some petty lesser-than, just leave them in the dust... so there. you have been blog-smoted, you idjit. go away with your dumb little life.

blablablablablablablabla..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

with all the awful floods & fires going on this blazing summer, so glad it's safe here, also not suffocatingly hot, or muggy humidy like ventura, where my sister & i just visited. blechcchhc!! it's lovely there visually, but as our cousin said, yeah, you always feel like you just got out of the shower... i would add, except not clean!! the bottom pix are from one of my 30th sobriety celebrations, w my sponsee cut out since i don't know if she wants her image online. at the first celebration, i got a nice card signed by everyone in attendance that eve; @ this one, they gave me a paper crown, which i've worn two other times, both when i was in my 1st sober yr. this yr, i got two chips!!! it's been a decade since that happened!! my experience is, since i hit 20, i more often have gone to mtgs & there's no chips available. this was an extra-nice thing, getting two chips! lagniappe! :D so back to climate, if you want a fun website, look up zoom earth, which has interesting maps showing all kinds of real-time weather info... i miss newspapers, where you could see all the numbers in one place, all the temps & humidities & forecasts... well, not much more to say. it's a lazy summer afternoon, & my old boy louis is asleep at my feet, & this pic shows what peewee the cat did when i got up for a moment,

& james & i might go to the dump or set up our music gear to play. i can't believe we still haven't heard what it sounds like with his guitar plus my kick drum!!! i suspect it will sound band-like, with just us two & the snare-like shuffle of james's old-timey guitar along with the thump of the kick. oil well. i know we'll do it, & i can be the p word... us not getting on the ball with this stompers stuff, i blame the torpor, the laziness, the bleghgh of mid-summer. even my plants are looking peak-ed.

"the grouch and the brainstorm are not for us."

need to remember that line from the big book as i sit here obsessing about a house in tehachapi. we went to tehachapi so i could do a 5k for my 30th sobriety bd since we didn't go to the international in canada, but i can't blame fdt for that, it was my fault for not getting a real id in time, but i already wrote about that, so that's that. but vising tehachapi, the obsession kicked in. tehachapi has similar weather to here, beautiful fluttering breezes, sighing mountain views, but also supermarkets, sidewalks, trains & medical centers. it reminds me of places i love like flagstaff & gallup, americana traveling free-breathing road trip kinda places. it has an old downtown & a train museum! we love trains so much!! but i gotta cool my jets. this kind of swell of excitement, desire to jump in & go nuts researching something madly, with no reins, usually just ends with me dropping the whatever it is like a hot potato, like it never existed. i've seen Dad do it for decades, & now i'm doing it... anyways, mebbe we'll go to tehachapi, mebbe not. but i need to write about it, get it out of the coconut, so i can rest tonight without my brain being on fire with it... and will you look at this beautiful windchime james had his friend make for me, his friend who made a stained glass clock for michael jackson's wonderland, a bona fide artist, so james had him make this for me & surprised me with it as i sat out in my backyard patio in my hot-pink aunty-rita mumu, to celebrate my 3 decades with no booze. and tonight a roomful of ppl sang happy bd, & my tiny "oldtimer" friend gave me her old 30 yr chip, & i learned now i'm an oldtimer, too, & they even had a cake. the room was brimming with love & i was too choked up to speak much. my james was there, beaming. life is so much better these days, with him sober, too. i think i better stop writing now & not ruin everything by letting my mind run wild. must be moderate. must be calm. must be