"the grouch and the brainstorm are not for us."

need to remember that line from the big book as i sit here obsessing about a house in tehachapi. we went to tehachapi so i could do a 5k for my 30th sobriety bd since we didn't go to the international in canada, but i can't blame fdt for that, it was my fault for not getting a real id in time, but i already wrote about that, so that's that. but vising tehachapi, the obsession kicked in. tehachapi has similar weather to here, beautiful fluttering breezes, sighing mountain views, but also supermarkets, sidewalks, trains & medical centers. it reminds me of places i love like flagstaff & gallup, americana traveling free-breathing road trip kinda places. it has an old downtown & a train museum! we love trains so much!! but i gotta cool my jets. this kind of swell of excitement, desire to jump in & go nuts researching something madly, with no reins, usually just ends with me dropping the whatever it is like a hot potato, like it never existed. i've seen Dad do it for decades, & now i'm doing it... anyways, mebbe we'll go to tehachapi, mebbe not. but i need to write about it, get it out of the coconut, so i can rest tonight without my brain being on fire with it... and will you look at this beautiful windchime james had his friend make for me, his friend who made a stained glass clock for michael jackson's wonderland, a bona fide artist, so james had him make this for me & surprised me with it as i sat out in my backyard patio in my hot-pink aunty-rita mumu, to celebrate my 3 decades with no booze. and tonight a roomful of ppl sang happy bd, & my tiny "oldtimer" friend gave me her old 30 yr chip, & i learned now i'm an oldtimer, too, & they even had a cake. the room was brimming with love & i was too choked up to speak much. my james was there, beaming. life is so much better these days, with him sober, too. i think i better stop writing now & not ruin everything by letting my mind run wild. must be moderate. must be calm. must be