Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

I really couldn't be happier right now (unless I weighed 10 lbs less). Am under the covers on our bed looking straight out at the snow falling on the beautiful mountains around listening to James singing to himself downstairs, just booked us another trip to New Orleans, one of our very favorite places in the world, and while I did that we  listened to Sam Chatmon, whom James had never heard! And he played some Scrapper Blackwell and we agreed this country might have some big problems these days, but nothing beats our American music!... Here's a picture from the Elvis show and one of our kitty this morning looking out at the snow. Needed to record this memory since if I don't, all soon will be gone... sooner than it will be eventually, anyhow! Thank you, labor unions, because without you, I would have no weekend to enjoy this beautiful day!

Wonderful

just had the most wonderful chat with my parents about their fulfilling lives as retired creative do-gooders and my fulfilling life living in the mountains, working with children, playing music. am mentioning that conversation here so that i'll remember it... am burrowed under blankets now with doggy awaiting the hunter home from the hills, the sailor home from the sea. weather report says snow all week, but i'll believe it when i see it! meanwhile, we again are having wind gusts like a busy airfield is just up the hill. it's been like that off and on all week! never thought weather would become so important in my life! it's a huge factor in what one does or doesn't do day by day around here..

happy birthday to EAP tomorrow, on being vain, & WBJ late at night

- i wonder if elvis was vain.
- i mean, how could he have looked like he did & NOT have been?!? how could he not have gazed in the mirror & thought, "i am the most angelically handsome man ever born" or "i have the face of a greek god, the voice of a rockin' caruso & the charisma of 1000 men; i am the most blessed-by-god human creature ever created"???
- i mean, he HAD to know what he possessed, even if he was known to be basically shy, a humble country boy...
- i'm basically shy, too -- and having said that, will now exhaust my commonalities with that god placed on earth, elvis aron presley. let's see: dark hair; love of blues, gospel, western music, play a little piano, 7 syllables in our full names... &... uh... both homo sapiens... &... &... well, that's really all.
- last night i drove in torrential rain to the elvis birthday bash at joe's, sang a few songs, hung out a little, saw in a short hour at least 15 people "from the old days" (art fein! long time, no see! thank you for letting me be there!), met many  swell others, then headed home, again in torrential rain, hydroplaning, grateful for my little car's "intelligent all-wheel drive." the show was packed & big fun, but i couldn't stay bc the dog-girl was at home alone.
-ok, this next part is going to sound really nutty, but here goes:
i took a lot of photos in that short time, & these ones came back with me not looking so bad, so i got in this weird mind-state, obsessed with how i didn't look ugly, even checking back at the photos many times to see if they were real, thinking, "is that ME? that can't be me." (see? i'm a pioneer, having been a narcissist long before selfies.)
- then today mister paul body, who's always so gentlemanly, dressed to the nines, posted a video of my song & eeeeeep.... i looked & sounded really super ugly... horrifyingly so... :( so then i started to plunge into that other weird mind-state -- not the dreamy rapture that whispers, "hey, you look like an attractive female... you look like other human women... hey, maybe you're OK!" -- but the plummeting shame-fueled one: "you're  a monster!! an impostor!!! you're a beast!!! there's no hope!!"
- jeez!!!!
- these flareups of dysmorphia & my continuing, lurking addict thinking are so sick. i know the dysmorphia comes from malfunctioning neurochemicals that receive incorrect visual info. then my stupid addict mind, in continual search of a higher power, will replace it w/just about anything if i'm not careful -- in this case, physical appearance ("human suit," calls it james). i hate these stupid episodes of vanity!!!!!!
- thank goodness jani & i are working the steps again... THANK G.O.D.!!!
- luck or divine intervention caused us to have a fog delay at school, so we all got to go in 2 hours late, which was good bc last night was a late one!! the kids were happy & i was so glad to see them as well as corey & lucy & a few others!! a package came at the post office, then, the sun lingering longer in the sky,  dog-girl & i had a nice jog/hike in the nearby hills, the light & air pure loveliness. my dinner quesadilla with chipotle sauce was tasty.
- finally, here is the front & back cover of james's upcoming CD-EP. it should be completed by week's end, & then we will get it printed. it's a very well-performed piece, evidencing what a critic wrote of james, that tho bawdy & tough, he "wears his heart on his sleeve" and is "a throwback to early blue performers." his vocals & playing came out so pure & solid. the other day when he recorded the last cut, him at his computer & me, adjacent, at mine, his voice was so plaintive & powerful, i burst into tears.
- dang talented james!!!! he can really move a soul!! he, too, is truly blessed by god, the universe, the great cosmic stew. some folks just got it! the rest of us can watch in wonder. :) that's ok with me! :D

the things that we two could plan / would make the earth stand still

at the rick estrin show... thank you, pat
evans, for tickets! WBJBE will play no
stinkin' service charge show in april.

i was nervous, but now am quite happy bc james and i are going to be part of art fein's birthday bash again. :) -- nervous bc i've not been involved in that show for many years & tho @ asked for  performers, i didn't know if he'd still want me in there bc i sort of dropped off the earth musically when james & i married. to be honest, i also was nervous bc my hair's no longer black & my waist no longer smaller than my head (vanity had to be part of the reluctance, of course) (then corey yelled at me, "they've all gotten old, TOO!" in other words, get over yourself! thank you, corey)... then we took ronnie mack & tammy out to dinner at the old icehouse in bakersfield, where they now live, & ronnie flat-out invited us. thanks!! ronnie told some great stories & did the funniest imitation of walter brennan;and tammy is amazing!! she is a kung foo chinese style black belt, a high-energy friendly person who will talk your head off. she and james got in their stances in the parking lot; very funny! did i say i'd been sick? sick sick sick, couldn't get out of bed at mom & dad's, but then we moved from ronnie & tammy to rick estrin show which was HUGE fun: rick estrin is just the greatest frontman out there, i think, so weird, smooth, & talented. i'd rather watch him than just about any other male performer out there these days, especially since my other fave, besides my husband, has been greatly diminished in power by illness & tho he still performs bravely, lacks the arrogant confidence that once made him so magnetic... :(
but back to elvis show! it's on sunday and at joe's, which is only one hr from here, & tho it starts at 6 pm,  i don't know what time we're on. i was flattered bc ronnie wants me to two do of my own songs, then james will do two: ronnie remembers me as a performer, not just wife of whiteboy james! i'm doing a mashup of "one night of sin/one night with you" because the lyrics when combined sort of tell the story of james & i, & he's doing "trying to get to you," which is the first song i ever heard him sing, the first time i met him in da flesh... at the elvis bash in 2010! that's the eve he claims he saw me get out of the car "with my male entourage" with "birds and little animals flying around my head singing" and that night told his ex-guitarist "i'm gonna marry that girl" and my ex-guitarist teased me, "someone liiiiiikes you!" & i thought "whiteboy james LIKES ME!!" because he kissed me about 100x, tho we had just met... (i've told that story 100 times, but i still can't quite believe it: even w/all our times of the blues & strife, james is the love of my life & i am the love of his.)
the house is cold & the cat is so much more sociable after we returned from 4 days gone (bakersfield & ventura, the latter at which we went to the drive-in on ny eve, with two great runs in there even tho i was sick half the time)... they both slept on me the other day, the cat & dog, that is: so nice. and james is singing & playing away in the basement (we're planning a "live" solo CD for him, something to get out soon, very exciting, i can't wait to mix the music & create the packaging for it) & today he received his first "screener" from SAG, the movies that screen actors' guild members vote on. i wonder if he'll get to go to the awards ceremony? when he's done practicing, we're supposed to make a fire & watch the first film, which is something with glenn close...
i'm reading right now eat and run by scott jurek, the standout hero from my favorite running book of all time, born to run, & it's one of the best books on any topic i've read in a long time... well, it's 2019, the year of blade runner, & i've sort of resolved to do three day patterns of yoga/meditate-run-strength & to become bilingual (spanish) by year's end... and how bout you?
penny is howling plaintively, so high-pitched & sorrowful.
gonna go now.