i want to write about art fein

Dictated, then edited: My heart just hurts and I feel sad even though I hadn't even seen him in 10 years. I married James and James has a reputation, he is very tough and nobody to mess with, especially in those days, now he's so much more reasonable, and I was a big weenie and my friendship with Art just fell away. We used to write with each other everyday, constantly, because he was in love with the written word, like I am, like so many of us are. Such word play, such wit, such a crabby yet hopeful, challenging, confrontational, super-bright man he was. So many amazing stories. And we had something else in common besides that we loved our American music. He had a funny little voice, a youthful voice even when he got old, and I am like that, too. The last time I saw him was at an Elvis show where James and I were supposed to play, but James did not show up, and Art said I figured you weren't gonna be here, but he put me right on and some other performers were not very happy because they had no idea who I was and how dare did I get up there like I was somebody? ... ... But Art thought I was somebody. Rip Masters told me last week, I know Art was your fan. Art was my fan! :( I got up there and did an Elvis number but in more of a Jerry Lee Lewis style and when I got done, Art had that glazed-over crazy smile that he would get, knocked silly by rock and roll music, American music, the greatest sound right from the USA. So I did another 1 and then that was it: Life took over, I went back to teaching, I stopped playing my repertoire, I was gonna go to his book opening 2 years ago in Hollywood, which isn't even far, but I got busy and now I just wish I had, I wish I had. So many people are writing their stories about him and man, what a testament. How many thousands of musicians and artists he connected! In fact I remember him saying something about how much he loved putting people together, like puzzle pieces. I wanna write my stories too, but I don't want to put them on social media, I'm not sure why, it just hurts. I wanna say so much and I know I didn't know him near as well as other people did, so maybe I'm being stupid. I went to his Silent Era Spanish-style mansionette near the Hollywood Bowl 1 time and he had his little dog corraled in the kitchen. He told me he would give me his cassette tape collection someday. It filled his garage! 10 years later James told me Art had told him the same thing when he 1st met him in the 90s. I think when he met people he thought were cool, he just wanted to share as much amazing music as possible with them. Hence the cassette mix tapes. How many freaking mixtapes did Art Fein make and share over the decades? I have at least 10, 2 of which he made for me. I wonder how many hundreds of others were made personally for this friend or that? Many times I would drive down to LA and we would go out to eat and see who could spend less because we both were cheapskates. I'd get mad when he would cheese on the bill, but he thought it was funny! We went to an art opening where Phil Alvin showed up in his gaudy orange sharkskin suit. Art had my band on his Poker Party show 3 times, and we never got to sit down to be interviewed because he wanted us to keep playing! He had the Blasters on when they did 4-11-44 and everyone was laughing so much!, having so much fun, and then we all went out for Mexican food. Another time we went to the Melrose Swap Meet and 2 men commented at me, Now there's a girl who's not trying to be like everyone else. That's real style! And Art smiled like he was proud. At one point I wrote and recorded for him a upbeat song because he was going through a period of depression ... ... Now after writing all this I can see it was inevitable that we ended up having a conversation because he wanted to go out with me but I had just left my 1st husband and his wife was leaving him and it was very awkward to talk to my friend and have to tell him I just couldn't. My friend in Texas said something like that happened with her, so I wonder how many other women in the music business it happened to? In my case I believe it was not that I was something so wonderful, it was that whatever is special about me has to do with American music, his greatest love, so he couldn't help but fall for women in the music... Art was the guy who made it happen for so many of us. He loved us and what we did. He loved the musicians who were not famous just as much or maybe even more than the ones that went big time because he loved underdogs. I deeply feel like an important glue has dissolved away. Other people will speak more tomorrow about how important Art was to the history of the rock and roll era. They scheduled his service, on Zoom, for the 1st day of school, so I don't even know if I'll get to attend. R.i.p., Art. I wish I had been a better friend to you. :(

good deeds, good dids, good dones, good duds

will write this later

r.i.p., fein art

:( :( :(

nearly matching special dates

tomorrow i'm 58, & he is 9 months on friday. these are happy pix of us on the way to the gig. it went really well considering james's back was so very out. we are so grateful to have made it to this point, having walked through the fire together. we are so very grateful.

another trip around the sun!!!! & other shtuhph

i'm going to be 58 in a few days. fifty-eight!!!! i should've perished long ago!! weak immune system, addictions, idiocy, dangerous behaviors & associations, anaphylaxis, uncooperative infernal coconut... the only thing still in play is that immune system, but i think change of eating habits is strengthening that (least i hope!).

so here is my birthday list: first, food -- laura scudder's natural crunchy peanut butter, berry jams, aussie bites. next, practical stuff: strong rope, large plastic bags, duct tape, mailing tape, bungee cords (i shared that w/my sister & she replied, "that's a serial killer kit!") my family also is looking for a faux pearl choker for me, to replace the one i lost on the last day of school. certainly a killer wouldn't want such an item!! :D

on a sad note, i found out last wk that someone i used to know well has alzheimers. :( this person made his life with words, connections, the hollywood hustle. he was completely in love with rock 'n' roll & even had a license plate frame that read, "i'd rather be jerry lee lewis"!! since i don't believe i'll ever see him again, i wanted to write that i hope his suffering is minimal, his good times as plenty as possible. our friendship dropped away when i married james, but that's ok: i had it for a while, & he was cool, really cool, bc his passion for the written word & american music was TRUE! and not much's cooler than authenticity, no amount of posing or posturing... this coincides w/the recent connection i made with a pal from 35 yrs back. it turns out this fellow has constructed a vr class for memory-care patients! it is called oyveyvr, & now you can look it up, too. i've been privy to reviewing some of the class content & realized while doing so that my knowledge of what works w/kids allows me to pass along to stu what might work w/his clientele. i would think learners in assisted living also need activation of prior knowledge, realia, visits from experts, breaks, opportunities to discuss, sing, review, & (as possible) move, write, draw, play, etc. i feel really fortunate to have this opportunity! chances to help must never be ignored!

am waiting for mister james to rise from slumber so we can go to a gig down in east LA. it's the only one this summer since he has been focusing on other life realms... we're unsure if it's private or public, so we have no publicity! that's ok; it will be good to play... i just went to an ai site & typed woman playing piano and drums frankenstein monster style and this came up. it is fine for now, for although not very accurate (apparently ai is patriarchal, cuz look who's playing the instruments -- not the woman!), it was instantaneous & is cool-enough! :D

"without obsession, life is nothing." - john waters

here are pix of me with some glamorous gals. the ones at bottom are with rara, in a blue cocktail number that stole the room. rara goes with joe finkle, who travels the world with his music, & she posts high-glamour, exciting pix of their itinerant life together. the other pix are with seester angie in vintage pearls & robin's-egg plaid & sister dawn, who has long been outrageous & diva & funny & fashion-forward. seeing all of the dresses & get-ups @ angie & doug's pink & blue country club charity gala made the event fun for me (along w/ the delicious watermelon served). that's one of my favorite things to do at an event: what is everyone wearing? that's one reason i'd like to go to a sag-aftra event, if james gets around to focusing on that part of his life. i imagine the ppl would be very young & genetically gifted, but there also would have to be much glorious sartorial wonderfulness. i suppose i just could go to a club. or an art event. (i remember once going to an art show in smellay & phil alvin was there in a gold sharkskin suit.).. or, most lazily, i can just scroll on my device & sigh/gasp @ pix of outrageous, elegant, wonderful style... angie is planning another event in fall, a bbq "hoedown" with food, cake walk, games, dancing, live music (including us). we went shopping the other day in bakersfield, & @ an antique mall, she already was planning what she would wear, which was fun to hear. i don't think enough about fashion, but i do love it in my way. in fact, one time a guy said, "you have enough clothing to dress an entire 3rd-world country." i don't know how i felt about that, but it was funny, so there you go.

rrrrrrgggrrrrrrrrgrrgrgrgggrrrrrrrr

i know james has been an at-times polarizing figure in his career, to state it mildly, but when i learn of someone talking trash about him, i want to rip out their eyeballs... well, now that i wrote that, the reality would be excessive & gruesome... so maybe i'd prefer to have someone smash them in the nose, then maybe kick or stomp them a few times... i'd ask my sister, who looks like a mild-mannered, benign, gray-haired creative; no one would expect her to have a**-kicking powers... ok, having written that, i realize that, too, seems a bit excessive... so maybe i'd just go find their dirty secrets (not so hard in this online world) & post them for all to see. yes, that's likely more what i would do... back when i was a more public figure, ppl talked smack about me here & there. i took that, so i can take this. anyways, anyone who talks crap about james just doesn't know him. he's made mistakes like everybody, but he is brave & strong & funny & a survivor, prodigiously talented, a unique thinker who is kind to animals, children, & old people, & he has made Mama laugh louder than i've ever heard her laugh, & he's Dad's tight pal & friend. so my higher self should remember all of that & just glide past the misguided, likely-envious words of some petty lesser-than, just leave them in the dust... so there. you have been blog-smoted, you idjit. go away with your dumb little life.