"and my heart soars"

this is how i feel today.
no foolin. it's foreign, therefore slightly scary, tho calmly so... the top or at least heretofore most active layer of my mind, where the craziness, mania, jumpiness, hahaha, go go go, cry cry cry, fight fight fight, & – i fear – creativity resides, is gone for now. i am placid as a lake, a soft-boiled egg, a sleeping cat, my soft soft bed, the billowing, ever-drifting, sighing sea of clouds that fill the sky before me as i type at this amazing picture window, this green, expansive setting of trees & mountains & birds & nature & respite &, 5 miles away tho visible by way of a happy combination of elevation & view, trucks & cars traveling & twinkling along i-5... detached, not worrying, breathing deeply... is this serenity? how long will it last? for now, it's here – may you have it, too. a poem:
“the beauty of the trees, the softness of the air, the fragrance of the grass speaks to me.
"the summit of the mountain, the thunder of the sky, the rhythm of the sea, speaks to me.
"the faintness of the stars, the freshness of the morning, the dewdrop on the flower, speaks to me.
"the strength of the fire, the taste of salmon, the trail of the sun, and the life that never goes away, they speak to me
"and my heart soars.” (chief dan george)
if you were happy to read that, i highly recommend this: earth prayers from around the world ps - just realized this sense of peace might be due to having weed-eated (weed-ate?) the yard for 2 1/2 hrs (i have a big yard)... might just be too pooped right now to be a squirrel.
whatever the cause, i'll take it! :) feliz dia, queridos! :)

Feelin' Good - Nina Simone

"hello" to jp + bang bang: great song, bad idea

hello.
thank you for continued interest in life. and i suppose me.
it's good to maintain a constant interest in life - one's own, others', the life process. good but elusive.
i bashed my noggin pretty badly yesterday, so we'll see where this writing goes -- here're some pix from this past wkend. cattie ness & the revenge: nice, fun-loving full of life, generous, laid-back comrades. becky, strong & beautiful, has created for herself a full artist's life which she kindly shares w/people like me. as you can see, the band pic came out well -- atractive folks, photogenic. however, from now on, i will groom myself for shows, & for life, for that matter, since when i don't, i feel like i'm in drag, an impostor, a midget. becky'd asked the band for an elegant look -- you can see that she (& fabi) are gorgeously coiffed -- mentioning "audrey hepburn." sighing w/doom, i realized i can't even see "audrey hepburn" from here... but "lon chaney"? yes, that look's possible, as you can see from hotel photo of my texting marathon w/fellow monster... ah! society breeding discontent & desperation (damned freud!)... ah! unstructured life condemning soul to sloth & madness (i pray temporarily)... this reminds me, tho, that i glimpsed another kindred spirit in dex romweber when skimming his CD dedication to both st cecilia & chaney & wonder if he's better-reconciled the monstrous & ecstatic impulses, a life of fun & bliss blackened by the hole of heartache & oblivion. thought my fellow monster had it made, but he, too, confessed to sadness & brokenness. arrrgggh.
will there be fun & fulfillment again before this pop stand blows? can we write out a syllogism? what would the fringe physicists say? certainly someplace there are different versions of you & me & everyone we know, & some of them gotta be consistently happy. quantum mechanics thusly alleviates, @ least for this parsec, bleakness & self-pity... w/that, let's toss the gloom & wish happy rapture-that-never-came to all. we're all still breathing, for pete's sake! lastly i must thank a person i know for ratting the demon out so that he didn't have to try to contain her all alone & so she could live another day & maybe get a dang exorcism once & for all. as for mr & mrs gia, there are seats in heaven for them both, & no words can tell how much i love them. bravery to do what the soul calls -- i've had it; i've been there; i seek it again. may your path today be clearly-guided, gentle & brave.

road trip, friendship, a little tip

- glamorous becky & co came up to the mtns yesterday to practice for her bd show, bringing boxes of food: becky's smoky tri-tip & potato salad, fabi's rice, guacamole from johnny's grandparents' avocado ranch, & more. my main contribution was dogzilla, the most gigantic hotdog i'd ever seen, from flying j at I-5. john bruce hipped me to a garage punk site run by ratboy69 & played a fast, fast town hall party-style instrumental i hope they will record. fabi sat on her prettily-painted doghouse bass, pulled up karaoke from youtube on her i-phone, & sweetly sang "volver volver" & "la bamba" on breaks & becky & i harmonized buck & don & i found out our voices blend well! b & f went thru my show wardrobe & found me a dress to fit the "cocktail" theme, assuring me i won't look like a dumpy old lady & that they'll make me look "classy & beautiful." i don't know what to say except i hope they can & will. :)
- cover for the show'll be $10. we're starting our set w/fats domino & closing w/some late-50s psychobilly, a crampsian freak-out to lead-in the psycho- bands to follow. should be a fun time, showing up early for sound-check & so the girls can glam me out as they do themselves, staying at dude boy ranch (aka brad's house), then back to meet dusk devils for mtn practice. woohoo!
- the birds at the window, in the tree, soaring around, on the lines, on the ground are singing that it's a joyful day. my tip for today, read this a.m.: "every day is a god, each day is a god, and holiness holds forth in time" (annie dillard).

wanda, dex, & damien

not that you asked, but this is what i've been listening to lately, along w/cattie ness & the revenge stuff for becky's bd show in 2 wks. i love the weirdness of the wanda album, from its lugosi-meets-elvis valentine cover to jack white's "reverb-drenched" kitschy mix: lux & ivy'd be (would've been) proud! my fave, tho, is dex -- hard-rockin, full-throated, pleading, crazy-in-love, betrayed, sobbing, romantic, sincerely way-out dex... his commitment to music invites such grandiloquence! too, i love his absolutely-no-irony. good gravy, that haunted cat can wail!
some more of my audio favorites are these: james brown live @ the apollo; little walter le roi du blues; professor longhair house party new orleans style; the blasters over there (ep);  get hot or go home compilation; gun club the fire of love; self-titled LPs/CDs by the blasters, the paladins & the flat duo jets, 1st LPs; hank ballard & the midnighters; the stooges rubber legs; the cramps gravest hits (ep); five royales monkey hips & rice (if you have this & rip it for me, i'll give you BIG CASH!!!!*); jerry lee lewis london sessions; clifton chenier bayou boogie; chuck berry the great 28; ronnie dawson monkey beat city; wanda jackson rockin in the country; big sandy on the go; phil alvin's 2 solo LPs; gene taylor's 2 solo LPs; johnny burnette & the rock'n'roll trio tear it up; carl perkins sun sessions; fats domino specialty box set; wild fast & out of control box set (just cause it's got most all the standards in one place); born bad series; preservation hall jazz band; etc etc etc! (* along w/the DVDs of the movies "safe" [1995, todd haynes dir.] & "molokai" [1999, paul cox dir.])... wow! i almost forgot! today is SAINT damien's feast day! see link @ right about blessed saint damien, a gruff, misunderstood, hard-working, humble human being who dedicated his life to the lepers of molokai'i, who loved them & dearly cared for them when they were treated like animals, a true hero, patron saint of those w/leprosy, HIV/AIDS, & incurable disease (such as alcoholism), sanctified last yr.... well, gotta go. the creature that lives in the walls is scratching away. no metaphor there -- i'm talking a real varmint! after all, living in the mtns means we get beauty (snow last night! mother's day snow!)... & also critters! :)

it's alive!!!!! friends... good... dusk devils don't die

 -> we've been in shock dealing w/news that phil & his family were MOVING!!! we were gonna record a CD w/art fein producing called "dusk devils die," but the prospect was just too depressing, so we didn't... what to do? at our last show, brian paxton, dusk devils' original guitarist, spelled the phil for a set, & i thank him for that, & phil performed that day/ eve w/the reliability; melodic, blistering playing; good humor; & tons of wonderful traits he's always given the band... it was tough to play, knowing he'd be leaving soon, but what a swell final show it was. :)
-> we sure miss phil, but have to be done blubbering over it & know that if he ever comes back & wants to join up again, dusk devils will be a two-guitar band!!!

the excitement of maybe

that's the title of exene's new record (on bloodshot!)... brilliant! is there anything more exciting than the maybe, potential, perhaps, dream, rhapsody of possibility? sometimes, just sometimes, the reality approaches or even (so rarely) exceeds the maybe... but the ecstasy of maybe!... so easily lulled, i'm always grateful i somehow have a doer's constitution (imbued w/it? nature or nurture? don't matter). plus, living in fantasy & pipedream scares me! i know & have known a "shiftless dreamer" (to quote the addams family) or two & find them romantic & frustrating! -- maybe their imagination & vision is fuller than mine? -- but bottom line is, the maybe calls to all, like sirens to sailors, but i don't have to get lost in it or be destroyed by it...
anyways, my favorite of exene's lately songs has been "white trash wife" from "old wives' tales" -- what lyrics!... two ppl brought up x this past wkend - that exene lives in orange, that a friend does jdoe's amps & that jd still lives here AND (mebbe) in bako... and the maybe is calling to me now, thinking of all this & the other details that go along w/it which i must keep private for now, but i won't be dashed on the rocks of reverie... so i write about it here!
may you glimpse the romance of possibility today... but act in the realm of reality! :) (the most perfect-handsome-romantic-dreamer in movie history: raul julia as gomez addams)

happy may day!!!!!

- what a day for the usa! here is a bouquet for you who read, since i cannot put it on your doorknob, as we used to do for our mothers as we all walked home from school, bearing the flowers we'd made that day in class... this evening's news! resolutely, the man in the white house has proved his vision, intelligence, & strength. no showboater, this president. nose to grindstone, his administration & its navy seals have accomplished an amazing feat. "it's like if america captured hitler," said my friend. "he moved our troops to the country where the REAL war was; he kept his eye on the prize, & he got it."
- i hope those who have poorly veiled their racist motives while purporting to "demand the truth" about our president will shut up & go home now. i hope our president is proud of what happened today on his watch! - tho surely he would not take pride in the death of a fellow human, no matter how malevolent, & glory's not why the president, a man of bravery & brains, nobility & humility would do this. he will move now to the next arduous task, w/o fanfare. he will continue to toil to help us all.
- it happened today. it happened because of president obama. "mission accomplished!"

clepto, cats, cattie ness, kleenex, common touch, country kitchen

- i was stuffed in the cab of johnny rage's truck between johnny (drummer) & fabi dean (upright bassist), coming home from practice in bksfld w/cattie ness & the revenge, when johnny swerved & bellowed into my ear, "HEYYYY DUDDDESSSS!!!" as we soared past a band van to our right, pulling a trailer hand-painted "clepto.net." he laughed maniacally & yelled, "those're my buds from canada!! oh my god!!! we gotta run them off the road!!!!!" his friends, "arabs from canada," have a "metal punk" band, & johnny, who plays not just w/cattie ness but w/punk band D.M.F. (dirty m...fers), said, "i really respect those guys cause they quit their jobs & they've been on the road for three years playing; they're livin' it!!"
- we pulled off at ft tejon just as a family of deer were on their gentle way & waited til the unsuspecting clepto van clambered by, at which pt johnny stomped on it & we careened in pursuit, tires screeching, even sailing on two tires for a second as he in his haste rammed the onramp curb... @ the frazier mtn exit, fabi & i got burgers while johnny visited w/clepto, surprisingly mild-looking, sleepy, hirsute young men... then J&F took me right to my doorstep, kind young friends, & took a deep breath of the mtn air here & smiled & sighed, "wow!" before they went home to the big city.
- to back up, this was a wheel-less wkend, a bit of an adventure, 1st walking the mile down thru frazier park "village" to the county transit bus stop, taking that to downtown bakersfield, then walking from there to oildale while listening to rev frost's show on my new ipod... hoofing across the oildale bridge to the sounds of ronnie love's "chills & fever," gazing at the supplely-flowing kern river, the swaying grasses, the cavorting birds, i thought, well, no kids, no spouse, but i do got adventure.
- as i got to trout's, jani pulled up & off we went to pick up our friends, then to a touring company of "cats" at the rabobank, thanks to generous mama, whom we called & cheered a thank you. (when my niece was little, i trained her to call mama "grandma claus" bc of her easy largesse -- just a few days ago, mama took us to see my 1st opera, the silly, sexy rossini farce "le comte ory," at the edwards cinema!) none of my friends had seen "cats," & for me it had been 20 yrs; i was stunned by what i'd not appreciated when i was a kid -- the limber, lissome cartwheeling & twirling, executed SILENTLY by athletic dancers who at the same time SANG -- as well as was ongoingly distracted & chagrined by flashbacks to the "simpsons" parody of the play... despite my prematurely hardened shell, when i'd see "cats" as a cynical kid i'd always cry during the show-stopping histrionics of "memory," the last time copping a resentment cause i knew that dang tear-jerking note was coming, but could do nothing to stave the waterworks. what melodic calculation -- what musical dishonesty!! to save my friends potential embarrassment, i slipped them kleenexes, instructing jani to wait to give one to young jenna, who is sharp & cool & therefore might not even be moved... engrossed in the play, jani directly handed the kleenex to jenna, which then meant i was gigged for the rest of the show. i'd look over & jenna'd be grinning at me, making crying motions w/her face & hands. i'd look over again & she'd whisper, "how you doing, sniffles?"
- a few thousand breaths later, i was having bbq in a teepee in tehachapi, then headed out to the desert to see a friend speak at a meeting. afterward i had thrifty's ice cream &, in the dark desert night, promptly got lost w/no gas in the tank. many unhappy hrs later, i met cattie ness & her band at country kitchen in bksfld & practiced at a studio off union avenue & i do love how becky leads the band w/firm hand, yet how laid-back she can be as well as appreciative of other musicians, & i like how loose & friendly the revenge is & that we played every song today SUPER FAST!!! it'll be a fun birthday show i'll get to take pt in w/bd girl cattie/becky. 2nd guitarist adam -- whose pleasant air, quick ear, mild manner, & even looks remind me of the phil -- & i will be guest revengers that eve, & hellbound hayride & another psychobilly bands will play, too. whee!
- after the happy sardine-can ride home w/johnny & fabi, i got email from a lovely musician who wrote, "would you like to come play w/us?" what a thrill! i hope it happens, but if not, to be asked was nice... so in spite of life's little & sometimes big ups & downs, music, like life, goes on. c'est la vie... c'est la musique!

boogiewoogiepianorama & pure bombast

1st player: "boogiewoogiepianorama" - 1st in series of BW piano pieces & drum practice.

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

lower volume on the 2nd player above before listening (i spose its loudness is appropriate for such ham). song: "one night of sin" - recorded in 09 at old house in rm w/great acoustics, real piano(s); vocals redone in late 2010.

hedonism, existentialism, the error of causality, blablablablablablablabla

... vaguely recall this from an undergrad class:
sonnet 75: amoretti (spenser)
one day i wrote her name upon the strand,
but came the waves and washed it away:
agayne i wrote it with a second hand,
but came the tyde, and made my paynes his pray.
"vayne man," sayd she, "that doest in vaine assay.
a mortall thing so to immortalize,
for i my selve shall lyke to this decay,
and eek my name bee wyped out lykewize."
"not so," quod i, "let baser things devize,
to dy in dust, but you shall live by fame:
my verse your vertues rare shall eternize,
and in the heavens wryte your glorious name.
where whenas death shall all the world subdew,
our love shall live, and later life renew."
- is this true? can love immortalize life? is it romantic notion, vanity? aren't we just stardust? i told art fein yesterday i was feeling a little down about this & that & art, always sympathetic, crowed "YOU? having a CRISIS?!?" but that's the thing about being sober: you're always awake. there's no buffer! life, so beautiful, can wound when a person's not blotto. but what's the use of blotto? blotto don't last!!
- this wkend i had a way-close call w/a bottle of cheap gin... after all these yrs!! i now know w/gravity & fear this booze problem truly IS cunning, baffling, & powerful... & patient! how'd we escape it?!? i maybe could be dead, instead of writing this right now.
- reeling from that brought existential crisis. my bent was to dumb-out, dissociate, then burrow into cynicism, like the literary heroes of my youth, philip marlowe & sam spade. those cats knew how to protect themselves: trust & love no one or thing. instead all these beautiful things happened, thank whom- or whatever: the most gorgeous ventura sunset, colors out of maxwell parrish, combined w/a lush & gigantic DOUBLE rainbow spanning the mountains & tide. an emergency call to a lifesaver who actually was home & answered the phone, tho she was supposed to be out of town. a lucky penny. cosmic bowling w/strobe lights & the thunderings of freddie mercury. a pinball game in which the machine matched THREE TIMES! a dirt-cheap hotel corner rm w/ocean breezes, full kitchen, king-sized bed, & enormous tv.
tho i've usually viewed such positive experiences & coincidences as fortuities & serendipities, it just can't be -- it's all mere moments, albeit lovely ones oftentimes, that i've given subjective, magical interpretation. when we were little, my sister & i thought the moon followed us as we rested in the back seat of the car on family trips home from delano. this is like that: it's all just life, so often lovely, so often inexplicable, but w/no real causality. there's just the now, with the error, good deed, calm, beauty, storm w/in it.
- how to realize this & not be overrun w/despair? seize the day, realized tommy wilhem in saul bellow's novella. kick up the heels. heed the wild hair. maximize moments of smile & fun & friendship & creativity & learning. maybe all you need is love, but all there is is now. can we do good? affect change? do unto others? not if expectation's attached. accidentally? randomly? yes. is it an empty universe only to be met by hedonism? well, epicurus had more the right idea, i think. my rights DO end where your nose begins... as dad has said, "life's short, so get plenty of rest." that's his idea of a good time, & our most-noble, hard-working, kind, funny dad does know how to enjoy life, as does our loving & generous mama. they do so oftentimes w/gentleness. for me? carpe diem, turn blue, go hog wild. go forth & live!!
(ps: watch the movie "the lives of others" - you won't regret it... and listen to rev frost's latest podcasts - link @ right)

concidence, fortuity: you made me life so rich, you know you should've been some money, baby, you're so sweet you know you should've been some honey

- just glanced out the window while typing here on a beautiful spring-break mountain morn & saw andy noise from bk hiking up the hill! i knew he was planning to bring a group up here sometime to hike, so talk about coincidence! they might swing back by, if time allows before the bus back to bk. it's the best deal around - $3.50 one-way, $1.75 for seniors/disabled... a huge savings compared to driving it!
- oh, to type while looking out pic window @ pine- & oak-covered mtn topped by baby-blue sky, heavenly clouds wafting along their journey... wow! for the 100th time, i'll say it's difficult to get discombobulated up here, not just cause of lack of poisonous air (was sick last wk & up til yesterday bc of too much bkfld time), but bc of the calming beauty & ever-changing weather. who needs tv? the nature show's unbeatable!
- what's on your gratitude list? here's some for me on this lovely morn:
1. dogs curled up @ my ft; 2. pb&j sandwich w/coffee; 3. good fri dd rehearsal, tho al hendrix did not make it; 4. trip to trout's to see brian lonbeck w/the blackboard playboys, a rock-solid country band w/fabulous banny bannister on piano! this is top-notch "country" musicianship, people, every fri-sat nite, just $5 to two-step or study the pros on their instruments all night long! brian did a cool version of "16 tons" & i got to yak a little w/rockwell about how to turn bk into the next branson & then have a heart-throbbing slow dance that thrilled me to the bone! i realized i haven't had a slow-dance like that in a public place in over 20 yrs!!! sad? mebbe. i was just glad to have it at all. then i took a moonlit drive & had a late-nite super-nosh on the edges of town & my heavens, what a nice time!
5. visited my folks, who, like i hope you feel about yours, are the best; 6. had very short practice w/al @ scotty's cool NE pad; 7. then really fun show w/family, many, many friends, & laughing, dancing ppl!; 8. met super-nice geri boyd, musician w/friendly drawl & twinkling eyes, who is not just a) female; b) keyboard player; but c) a professional in a helping profession; & d) athletic (tho geri does team sports & i pretty much eschew competition)... however, geri trumps me in cool bc she plays SAXOPHONE!! wow!!! i was flattered on break when she came up & wanted to know how i played some piano pts. she said, "when you kicked that messaround off, i jumped to mah feet!"
9. the dusk devils kicked butt! highlights: phil's blistering guitar, creative, spot-on genre melodies, & good-natured hip-shaking during "whole lotta shakin'"; rick, in fine form, catching every beat, that tho he never even got to practice w/al!; scotty adding two tunes, his nice stage thing adding more humanity to dds. western-swing hall of famer, drummer jimmy phillips (late of the go-daddies) sat in for some songs, & original dd's guitarist brian paxton even came in & did a set! his lovely wife lisa provided these pix, from which i learned i need to burn these light-reflecting, unflattering pantyhose!! (oh well.) lastly, @ end of ea set, rockabilly hall-of-famer al hendrix, a fun, friendly senior, came up & sang... "georgia kate," one of al's originals, naturally soars, but it really did as we played & i looked over @ phil & he @ me & i knew we were sharing a hair-raising moment of happy musical thrill! (congrats to phil, too, who AT THE SHOW found out he is a grandfather. what a nice, nice moment for p & his family.) :)
10. a long-time friend, csub prof, emailed to say she's lost 30 POUNDS listening to "let it roll" while on her treadmill. wow!! she showed up, slim & smiling, w/hubby & friends. i didn't see alicia & doug, nor sincere & soulful, devoted-to-the-band john k & lovely wife susan, dance, but the beams from their tables really lit up my heart, as did smiles from gita, danny, aunty rita, mom & dad, vita, eric, hoss, henry, kim, franky, kirby, & so many others whose names i might not know, but whose friendly faces definitely are familiar... if i didn't list you, well, thank you so much for being @ this quite-special show, as well as thanks to al & ethel's for having us. :)
11. tho i was ill sunday & missed lunch w/the hendrixes due to lingering valley allergies, the day was nice, allowing rest & a gorgeous sunset walk on bluffs. friends watched tv basketball & i did not have to get uncorked bc competition & spectator sports -- like chuck berry, like hotdogs, like road trips, old motels, labor unions, honky-tonk & the blues -- are simply pt of our american culture.
(actually, tho, probably roman culture.)
- & when one basketball team represents NOLA, the lovely lovely crescent city where i hope to one day lay my head & also put fingers to keys, well, i sure can back that.
- spring is here! easter is near! happy season of rebirth & possibility to all! "a fonte puro pura defluit aqua!!!"

this saturday!!!

just found out that BRIAN LONBECK is playing w/blackboard playboys @ trout's on fri-sats, too!! really looking fwd to saturday's show w/al, plus going over to trout's to catch flying-fingers lonbeck, as well as see the tidwells & banny bannister... (ps - currently i have no graphics program -- hence the irritating gigantic white border on all recent flyers/graphics! oil well. if anyone reading wants to trim this flyer & email it to me, i thank you!) :)

road, rough road, then tunes, wild tunes, then road, rough road, then home, sweet home, then road, then home, then road, then home, then aarrggghh!!!

ohhh.... it's so very nice to be in my home again... i do love road trips, but that I-5 gets old!!! just saw this online:
'Matt’s [Munoz's, of bakersfield californian] Picks: April 16!
Al Hendrix and The Dusk Devils at Ethel's Old Corral, 4310 Alfred Harrell Highway, Saturday, April 16th, 6 p.m., free, 661-873-7613. If you're looking for some real rock and roll, you should plan on taking a little drive out to Ethel's this weekend. Appearing live will be the great "lost rocker" himself, Al Hendrix. He's performed with many of the legends of the Bakersfield Sound, and is slowly getting his due respect as a member of the Rockabilly Hall of Fame. He'll be playing all his hits, including "Monkey Bite" a song that caused quite a stir in '62 because of it's suggestive lyrics. That's rock and roll. Backing Hendrix will be Bakersfield band, The Dusk Devils.'
- i just found out, tho, we're not backing... it'll be like a full-blown dd show, w/al "helping out." i'm sure glad to've got that clarified w/the lost rocker before this wkend!! anyways, i'm looking fwd to a fun, fun time w/my pals. :) the weather should be perfect! ethel's serves a mean hot dog, too, so will have to break the seemingly-interminable lenten meat-fast, or rather, switch my sunday for a saturday, i think. the latter is, after all, the sabbath in many cultures, so the lord shouldn't care too much... i'm sposed to make a flyer, so i hope i do... al'll be doing the above show on his way to viva las vegas. he called w/good news, which was that deke dickerson'll be backing him on bass sax at viva... sounds like he'll have an all-star backing band! the other good news is, mr tidwell's recuperating nicely, which is a relief to hear. :)

kind thoughts to R.T., lifelifelife, & baby james

- spoke last nite to the lost rocker al hendrix, who filled me in on music news, but most importantly that we all need to send good thoughts/prayers to robert tidwell of token okies & wichitas, who is recuperating in hospital right now from mini-stroke... remember his dear wife, angel, too, when you send that white light! surrounded w/love & support, robert will heal, just as candye did, just as do so many who have the universal life force filling them. thoughts & prayers of strength to these dear people...
- how are you? i woke up w/tv hangover & disappointing last-minute phone call... then got online & had email message from MY FUTURE EX-HUSBAND!! (tho really, truly... i HAVE given up.) even still, that he knows who i am & even signed his msg "love," well, to imagine 27 yrs ago when i 1st saw his crazy-orgiastic, cunicularly handsome face that this'd be the case today is really unimaginable, if i think on it.
- speaking of faces, look @ whiteboy james & crew, by way of kaykay & youtube! whatta crazy hunk fireball! too, it's funny to me that scott abeyta actually looks younger NOW, 21 yrs later. ... someone told me the other day i must've found the fountain of youth, but i'd say scott might, too! you be the judge...

the other greatest rocknroll video ever made

the wonders of the internet! used to be this was a rarity purchasable only from target video via snail mail... i like the above pt best, but here's a link to the entire video! the cramps at napa state mental hospital! the other greatest video (actually a tv show): go here to posting called "a posting for jim b" -- don't knock the rock!

really cool people

two sides of my place dump onto national forest land, & w/all these storms & also ppl who hike thru, the trash builds up. haven't seen any NFS staff w/trash cans any time lately, so i slid down & cleaned out the arroyo as well as a large area behind my house that goes up into the mountains... good, exhausting work! found some cool stuff, bricks & metal bars & even an old tin can & pair of bifocals! - also, of course, lots of junk, like a disintegrated tent & pieces of a rusted bed, like maybe someone wasn't just camping out there, but maybe had set up home. makes me wonder where this person or these people went...
how are you? me, too much energy. discombobulated! lots of cleaning & exercise & pumping piano is the remedy. plus daily duty to the universe inside, from whence all comes... such practice helps keep that little demon down, the one that tells me go, go, go. that little trickster's fine @ times, like for creative spark & nerve, but @ others, she must be banished to her room!!!!
ok, it's about pasta time, then back to the boogie-woogie marathon... to have 10 moving fingers; to have a somewhat working mind; to have breath & a modicum of sanity: tho perhaps it take different shapes, we've all lots to celebrate while on this short trip of life, doncha think? :)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...

food in belly, (some) dough (still) in wallet (spent most of it already), big & small fun had by all, big & small. dusk devils rocked!! poker-faced scott, manic rick, & a soulful phil stormed & pounded the house. rick played max bangwell's slingerland set & on the encore, we sounded like the cramps!! i almost went out of my skin, hearing that coming from us!! as sure as i'll always get lost trying to get home from taft @ nite, its audiences will always be tops: people howled & danced in seats & whooped & clapped & screamed & smiled all night long. as appreciative males got drunker & drunker & dancers lost their equilibrium, my corseted undergarments fortuitously came in handy as effective body armor. fearless, fierce, x-rated gentleman james & i talked about 5 royales, musician dumbasses, how much we love being in the car, lucid dreams. wide-smiling scott abeyta pitched us a record dealy & max bangwell described his cool living set-up & working w/weird al for 6 yrs. blues express is super, super tight! oh, to be that tight: what would it be like?? as i said, tho, i was so happy w/dusk devils that nite. wow!
james mugged & joked, wily, wild, weird & sexual ("i thought i was just being weird," he sez) & w/the most keeningly powerful voice i know. i got a dedication again, as well as lots of "looks"!!!! i know, tho, that @ every show, some gal's got to be the focus; it's pt of the shtick, & i was flattered to get my turn.
near show's end, the stage a graveyard of beer bottles, jp did a trick emulating end of nekromantik (minus auto-erotic stabbing) w/strategically-placed exploding beer bottle that was so embarrassing & thrilling, it was just that much more plain-wrong yet perfect. i've been called a "fearless performer," but i am a little chicken compared to james, who'll do anything onstage to get folks to laugh & gape & adore. once it all was over, they locked the doors & i made extra cash playing the bar piano as indefatigable james sang (to me directly, @ times!). we even sang together on some ray price, tho by then i was running out of gas seriously-bad & starting to slip in my playing & also worrying about getting home to the yd sale i was suppoed to help w/that next day... but i'll always remember -- & this might sound like bragging, but it's what HAPPENED -- jp leaning over & leaning in & watching me like i was something special, watching me play & grinning, then cooing, "you're so talented," & then to the room, "isn't she talented? isn't she the greatest?" then telling me to play something "kinda pete johnson" & blasting out the strongest-piped version of "roll 'em pete" i've ever been in such proximity to, w/all the correct lyrics. whatta thrill! whatta kick! me & whiteboy james playing music like that! he said we should do a duo, play gigs in LA, we'd make all kind of money. true, he was pretty dang lit by then, but still, i was very flattered. life just sang @ that moment, & later, when i took ar un, the gorgeous, cool-breezed, wonderful wkend climate seeming to match this exhilaration. life does sing @ times, doesn't it? happy, happy to all, friends. happy happy!

this friday! woohoo!

we will be redeemed!

"friend...gooood..."

wie geht's, meine freunde?(warning -- alliteration ahead:) a couple of my most musical monster mates just had birthday blowout bashes. here are some graphics for them, & you, too, if you like... a few wks back, too, was bd of my future ex-husband, the creative big bro of all us in this particular little musical pond... looking fwd to aping big bro's 1st record w/our next (bsp, who's got broader musical interest than do i, said the clash did this w/elvis); auditioning for act whom i'm told will Travel w/a cap "t" (oh crap -- where's my passport?!?); working again w/al hendrix, the lost rocker; dusk devils groovings w/art fein, who says he'll make us "sound right" & "what've you [i] been waiting for?" & we'll feature this time all-original tunes -- 15 of them!
post-snowpocalypse, the "mad-wind's night work, the frolic architecture of snow" has calmed & this place, good gravy, is gloriously gorgeous!! no alpine resort could beat this mtn's beauty @ this moment. :) i hear bksfld's pretty lovely right now, too. time to pack a bag & get this bag down the hill.
today, let us all "be... the rainbow in the storms of life."
another great one: "i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning to sail my ship." (louisa may alcott)