wanda, dex, & damien

not that you asked, but this is what i've been listening to lately, along w/cattie ness & the revenge stuff for becky's bd show in 2 wks. i love the weirdness of the wanda album, from its lugosi-meets-elvis valentine cover to jack white's "reverb-drenched" kitschy mix: lux & ivy'd be (would've been) proud! my fave, tho, is dex -- hard-rockin, full-throated, pleading, crazy-in-love, betrayed, sobbing, romantic, sincerely way-out dex... his commitment to music invites such grandiloquence! too, i love his absolutely-no-irony. good gravy, that haunted cat can wail!
some more of my audio favorites are these: james brown live @ the apollo; little walter le roi du blues; professor longhair house party new orleans style; the blasters over there (ep);  get hot or go home compilation; gun club the fire of love; self-titled LPs/CDs by the blasters, the paladins & the flat duo jets, 1st LPs; hank ballard & the midnighters; the stooges rubber legs; the cramps gravest hits (ep); five royales monkey hips & rice (if you have this & rip it for me, i'll give you BIG CASH!!!!*); jerry lee lewis london sessions; clifton chenier bayou boogie; chuck berry the great 28; ronnie dawson monkey beat city; wanda jackson rockin in the country; big sandy on the go; phil alvin's 2 solo LPs; gene taylor's 2 solo LPs; johnny burnette & the rock'n'roll trio tear it up; carl perkins sun sessions; fats domino specialty box set; wild fast & out of control box set (just cause it's got most all the standards in one place); born bad series; preservation hall jazz band; etc etc etc! (* along w/the DVDs of the movies "safe" [1995, todd haynes dir.] & "molokai" [1999, paul cox dir.])... wow! i almost forgot! today is SAINT damien's feast day! see link @ right about blessed saint damien, a gruff, misunderstood, hard-working, humble human being who dedicated his life to the lepers of molokai'i, who loved them & dearly cared for them when they were treated like animals, a true hero, patron saint of those w/leprosy, HIV/AIDS, & incurable disease (such as alcoholism), sanctified last yr.... well, gotta go. the creature that lives in the walls is scratching away. no metaphor there -- i'm talking a real varmint! after all, living in the mtns means we get beauty (snow last night! mother's day snow!)... & also critters! :)

it's alive!!!!! friends... good... dusk devils don't die

 -> we've been in shock dealing w/news that phil & his family were MOVING!!! we were gonna record a CD w/art fein producing called "dusk devils die," but the prospect was just too depressing, so we didn't... what to do? at our last show, brian paxton, dusk devils' original guitarist, spelled the phil for a set, & i thank him for that, & phil performed that day/ eve w/the reliability; melodic, blistering playing; good humor; & tons of wonderful traits he's always given the band... it was tough to play, knowing he'd be leaving soon, but what a swell final show it was. :)
-> we sure miss phil, but have to be done blubbering over it & know that if he ever comes back & wants to join up again, dusk devils will be a two-guitar band!!!

the excitement of maybe

that's the title of exene's new record (on bloodshot!)... brilliant! is there anything more exciting than the maybe, potential, perhaps, dream, rhapsody of possibility? sometimes, just sometimes, the reality approaches or even (so rarely) exceeds the maybe... but the ecstasy of maybe!... so easily lulled, i'm always grateful i somehow have a doer's constitution (imbued w/it? nature or nurture? don't matter). plus, living in fantasy & pipedream scares me! i know & have known a "shiftless dreamer" (to quote the addams family) or two & find them romantic & frustrating! -- maybe their imagination & vision is fuller than mine? -- but bottom line is, the maybe calls to all, like sirens to sailors, but i don't have to get lost in it or be destroyed by it...
anyways, my favorite of exene's lately songs has been "white trash wife" from "old wives' tales" -- what lyrics!... two ppl brought up x this past wkend - that exene lives in orange, that a friend does jdoe's amps & that jd still lives here AND (mebbe) in bako... and the maybe is calling to me now, thinking of all this & the other details that go along w/it which i must keep private for now, but i won't be dashed on the rocks of reverie... so i write about it here!
may you glimpse the romance of possibility today... but act in the realm of reality! :) (the most perfect-handsome-romantic-dreamer in movie history: raul julia as gomez addams)

happy may day!!!!!

- what a day for the usa! here is a bouquet for you who read, since i cannot put it on your doorknob, as we used to do for our mothers as we all walked home from school, bearing the flowers we'd made that day in class... this evening's news! resolutely, the man in the white house has proved his vision, intelligence, & strength. no showboater, this president. nose to grindstone, his administration & its navy seals have accomplished an amazing feat. "it's like if america captured hitler," said my friend. "he moved our troops to the country where the REAL war was; he kept his eye on the prize, & he got it."
- i hope those who have poorly veiled their racist motives while purporting to "demand the truth" about our president will shut up & go home now. i hope our president is proud of what happened today on his watch! - tho surely he would not take pride in the death of a fellow human, no matter how malevolent, & glory's not why the president, a man of bravery & brains, nobility & humility would do this. he will move now to the next arduous task, w/o fanfare. he will continue to toil to help us all.
- it happened today. it happened because of president obama. "mission accomplished!"

clepto, cats, cattie ness, kleenex, common touch, country kitchen

- i was stuffed in the cab of johnny rage's truck between johnny (drummer) & fabi dean (upright bassist), coming home from practice in bksfld w/cattie ness & the revenge, when johnny swerved & bellowed into my ear, "HEYYYY DUDDDESSSS!!!" as we soared past a band van to our right, pulling a trailer hand-painted "clepto.net." he laughed maniacally & yelled, "those're my buds from canada!! oh my god!!! we gotta run them off the road!!!!!" his friends, "arabs from canada," have a "metal punk" band, & johnny, who plays not just w/cattie ness but w/punk band D.M.F. (dirty m...fers), said, "i really respect those guys cause they quit their jobs & they've been on the road for three years playing; they're livin' it!!"
- we pulled off at ft tejon just as a family of deer were on their gentle way & waited til the unsuspecting clepto van clambered by, at which pt johnny stomped on it & we careened in pursuit, tires screeching, even sailing on two tires for a second as he in his haste rammed the onramp curb... @ the frazier mtn exit, fabi & i got burgers while johnny visited w/clepto, surprisingly mild-looking, sleepy, hirsute young men... then J&F took me right to my doorstep, kind young friends, & took a deep breath of the mtn air here & smiled & sighed, "wow!" before they went home to the big city.
- to back up, this was a wheel-less wkend, a bit of an adventure, 1st walking the mile down thru frazier park "village" to the county transit bus stop, taking that to downtown bakersfield, then walking from there to oildale while listening to rev frost's show on my new ipod... hoofing across the oildale bridge to the sounds of ronnie love's "chills & fever," gazing at the supplely-flowing kern river, the swaying grasses, the cavorting birds, i thought, well, no kids, no spouse, but i do got adventure.
- as i got to trout's, jani pulled up & off we went to pick up our friends, then to a touring company of "cats" at the rabobank, thanks to generous mama, whom we called & cheered a thank you. (when my niece was little, i trained her to call mama "grandma claus" bc of her easy largesse -- just a few days ago, mama took us to see my 1st opera, the silly, sexy rossini farce "le comte ory," at the edwards cinema!) none of my friends had seen "cats," & for me it had been 20 yrs; i was stunned by what i'd not appreciated when i was a kid -- the limber, lissome cartwheeling & twirling, executed SILENTLY by athletic dancers who at the same time SANG -- as well as was ongoingly distracted & chagrined by flashbacks to the "simpsons" parody of the play... despite my prematurely hardened shell, when i'd see "cats" as a cynical kid i'd always cry during the show-stopping histrionics of "memory," the last time copping a resentment cause i knew that dang tear-jerking note was coming, but could do nothing to stave the waterworks. what melodic calculation -- what musical dishonesty!! to save my friends potential embarrassment, i slipped them kleenexes, instructing jani to wait to give one to young jenna, who is sharp & cool & therefore might not even be moved... engrossed in the play, jani directly handed the kleenex to jenna, which then meant i was gigged for the rest of the show. i'd look over & jenna'd be grinning at me, making crying motions w/her face & hands. i'd look over again & she'd whisper, "how you doing, sniffles?"
- a few thousand breaths later, i was having bbq in a teepee in tehachapi, then headed out to the desert to see a friend speak at a meeting. afterward i had thrifty's ice cream &, in the dark desert night, promptly got lost w/no gas in the tank. many unhappy hrs later, i met cattie ness & her band at country kitchen in bksfld & practiced at a studio off union avenue & i do love how becky leads the band w/firm hand, yet how laid-back she can be as well as appreciative of other musicians, & i like how loose & friendly the revenge is & that we played every song today SUPER FAST!!! it'll be a fun birthday show i'll get to take pt in w/bd girl cattie/becky. 2nd guitarist adam -- whose pleasant air, quick ear, mild manner, & even looks remind me of the phil -- & i will be guest revengers that eve, & hellbound hayride & another psychobilly bands will play, too. whee!
- after the happy sardine-can ride home w/johnny & fabi, i got email from a lovely musician who wrote, "would you like to come play w/us?" what a thrill! i hope it happens, but if not, to be asked was nice... so in spite of life's little & sometimes big ups & downs, music, like life, goes on. c'est la vie... c'est la musique!

boogiewoogiepianorama & pure bombast

1st player: "boogiewoogiepianorama" - 1st in series of BW piano pieces & drum practice.

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

lower volume on the 2nd player above before listening (i spose its loudness is appropriate for such ham). song: "one night of sin" - recorded in 09 at old house in rm w/great acoustics, real piano(s); vocals redone in late 2010.

hedonism, existentialism, the error of causality, blablablablablablablabla

... vaguely recall this from an undergrad class:
sonnet 75: amoretti (spenser)
one day i wrote her name upon the strand,
but came the waves and washed it away:
agayne i wrote it with a second hand,
but came the tyde, and made my paynes his pray.
"vayne man," sayd she, "that doest in vaine assay.
a mortall thing so to immortalize,
for i my selve shall lyke to this decay,
and eek my name bee wyped out lykewize."
"not so," quod i, "let baser things devize,
to dy in dust, but you shall live by fame:
my verse your vertues rare shall eternize,
and in the heavens wryte your glorious name.
where whenas death shall all the world subdew,
our love shall live, and later life renew."
- is this true? can love immortalize life? is it romantic notion, vanity? aren't we just stardust? i told art fein yesterday i was feeling a little down about this & that & art, always sympathetic, crowed "YOU? having a CRISIS?!?" but that's the thing about being sober: you're always awake. there's no buffer! life, so beautiful, can wound when a person's not blotto. but what's the use of blotto? blotto don't last!!
- this wkend i had a way-close call w/a bottle of cheap gin... after all these yrs!! i now know w/gravity & fear this booze problem truly IS cunning, baffling, & powerful... & patient! how'd we escape it?!? i maybe could be dead, instead of writing this right now.
- reeling from that brought existential crisis. my bent was to dumb-out, dissociate, then burrow into cynicism, like the literary heroes of my youth, philip marlowe & sam spade. those cats knew how to protect themselves: trust & love no one or thing. instead all these beautiful things happened, thank whom- or whatever: the most gorgeous ventura sunset, colors out of maxwell parrish, combined w/a lush & gigantic DOUBLE rainbow spanning the mountains & tide. an emergency call to a lifesaver who actually was home & answered the phone, tho she was supposed to be out of town. a lucky penny. cosmic bowling w/strobe lights & the thunderings of freddie mercury. a pinball game in which the machine matched THREE TIMES! a dirt-cheap hotel corner rm w/ocean breezes, full kitchen, king-sized bed, & enormous tv.
tho i've usually viewed such positive experiences & coincidences as fortuities & serendipities, it just can't be -- it's all mere moments, albeit lovely ones oftentimes, that i've given subjective, magical interpretation. when we were little, my sister & i thought the moon followed us as we rested in the back seat of the car on family trips home from delano. this is like that: it's all just life, so often lovely, so often inexplicable, but w/no real causality. there's just the now, with the error, good deed, calm, beauty, storm w/in it.
- how to realize this & not be overrun w/despair? seize the day, realized tommy wilhem in saul bellow's novella. kick up the heels. heed the wild hair. maximize moments of smile & fun & friendship & creativity & learning. maybe all you need is love, but all there is is now. can we do good? affect change? do unto others? not if expectation's attached. accidentally? randomly? yes. is it an empty universe only to be met by hedonism? well, epicurus had more the right idea, i think. my rights DO end where your nose begins... as dad has said, "life's short, so get plenty of rest." that's his idea of a good time, & our most-noble, hard-working, kind, funny dad does know how to enjoy life, as does our loving & generous mama. they do so oftentimes w/gentleness. for me? carpe diem, turn blue, go hog wild. go forth & live!!
(ps: watch the movie "the lives of others" - you won't regret it... and listen to rev frost's latest podcasts - link @ right)

concidence, fortuity: you made me life so rich, you know you should've been some money, baby, you're so sweet you know you should've been some honey

- just glanced out the window while typing here on a beautiful spring-break mountain morn & saw andy noise from bk hiking up the hill! i knew he was planning to bring a group up here sometime to hike, so talk about coincidence! they might swing back by, if time allows before the bus back to bk. it's the best deal around - $3.50 one-way, $1.75 for seniors/disabled... a huge savings compared to driving it!
- oh, to type while looking out pic window @ pine- & oak-covered mtn topped by baby-blue sky, heavenly clouds wafting along their journey... wow! for the 100th time, i'll say it's difficult to get discombobulated up here, not just cause of lack of poisonous air (was sick last wk & up til yesterday bc of too much bkfld time), but bc of the calming beauty & ever-changing weather. who needs tv? the nature show's unbeatable!
- what's on your gratitude list? here's some for me on this lovely morn:
1. dogs curled up @ my ft; 2. pb&j sandwich w/coffee; 3. good fri dd rehearsal, tho al hendrix did not make it; 4. trip to trout's to see brian lonbeck w/the blackboard playboys, a rock-solid country band w/fabulous banny bannister on piano! this is top-notch "country" musicianship, people, every fri-sat nite, just $5 to two-step or study the pros on their instruments all night long! brian did a cool version of "16 tons" & i got to yak a little w/rockwell about how to turn bk into the next branson & then have a heart-throbbing slow dance that thrilled me to the bone! i realized i haven't had a slow-dance like that in a public place in over 20 yrs!!! sad? mebbe. i was just glad to have it at all. then i took a moonlit drive & had a late-nite super-nosh on the edges of town & my heavens, what a nice time!
5. visited my folks, who, like i hope you feel about yours, are the best; 6. had very short practice w/al @ scotty's cool NE pad; 7. then really fun show w/family, many, many friends, & laughing, dancing ppl!; 8. met super-nice geri boyd, musician w/friendly drawl & twinkling eyes, who is not just a) female; b) keyboard player; but c) a professional in a helping profession; & d) athletic (tho geri does team sports & i pretty much eschew competition)... however, geri trumps me in cool bc she plays SAXOPHONE!! wow!!! i was flattered on break when she came up & wanted to know how i played some piano pts. she said, "when you kicked that messaround off, i jumped to mah feet!"
9. the dusk devils kicked butt! highlights: phil's blistering guitar, creative, spot-on genre melodies, & good-natured hip-shaking during "whole lotta shakin'"; rick, in fine form, catching every beat, that tho he never even got to practice w/al!; scotty adding two tunes, his nice stage thing adding more humanity to dds. western-swing hall of famer, drummer jimmy phillips (late of the go-daddies) sat in for some songs, & original dd's guitarist brian paxton even came in & did a set! his lovely wife lisa provided these pix, from which i learned i need to burn these light-reflecting, unflattering pantyhose!! (oh well.) lastly, @ end of ea set, rockabilly hall-of-famer al hendrix, a fun, friendly senior, came up & sang... "georgia kate," one of al's originals, naturally soars, but it really did as we played & i looked over @ phil & he @ me & i knew we were sharing a hair-raising moment of happy musical thrill! (congrats to phil, too, who AT THE SHOW found out he is a grandfather. what a nice, nice moment for p & his family.) :)
10. a long-time friend, csub prof, emailed to say she's lost 30 POUNDS listening to "let it roll" while on her treadmill. wow!! she showed up, slim & smiling, w/hubby & friends. i didn't see alicia & doug, nor sincere & soulful, devoted-to-the-band john k & lovely wife susan, dance, but the beams from their tables really lit up my heart, as did smiles from gita, danny, aunty rita, mom & dad, vita, eric, hoss, henry, kim, franky, kirby, & so many others whose names i might not know, but whose friendly faces definitely are familiar... if i didn't list you, well, thank you so much for being @ this quite-special show, as well as thanks to al & ethel's for having us. :)
11. tho i was ill sunday & missed lunch w/the hendrixes due to lingering valley allergies, the day was nice, allowing rest & a gorgeous sunset walk on bluffs. friends watched tv basketball & i did not have to get uncorked bc competition & spectator sports -- like chuck berry, like hotdogs, like road trips, old motels, labor unions, honky-tonk & the blues -- are simply pt of our american culture.
(actually, tho, probably roman culture.)
- & when one basketball team represents NOLA, the lovely lovely crescent city where i hope to one day lay my head & also put fingers to keys, well, i sure can back that.
- spring is here! easter is near! happy season of rebirth & possibility to all! "a fonte puro pura defluit aqua!!!"

this saturday!!!

just found out that BRIAN LONBECK is playing w/blackboard playboys @ trout's on fri-sats, too!! really looking fwd to saturday's show w/al, plus going over to trout's to catch flying-fingers lonbeck, as well as see the tidwells & banny bannister... (ps - currently i have no graphics program -- hence the irritating gigantic white border on all recent flyers/graphics! oil well. if anyone reading wants to trim this flyer & email it to me, i thank you!) :)

road, rough road, then tunes, wild tunes, then road, rough road, then home, sweet home, then road, then home, then road, then home, then aarrggghh!!!

ohhh.... it's so very nice to be in my home again... i do love road trips, but that I-5 gets old!!! just saw this online:
'Matt’s [Munoz's, of bakersfield californian] Picks: April 16!
Al Hendrix and The Dusk Devils at Ethel's Old Corral, 4310 Alfred Harrell Highway, Saturday, April 16th, 6 p.m., free, 661-873-7613. If you're looking for some real rock and roll, you should plan on taking a little drive out to Ethel's this weekend. Appearing live will be the great "lost rocker" himself, Al Hendrix. He's performed with many of the legends of the Bakersfield Sound, and is slowly getting his due respect as a member of the Rockabilly Hall of Fame. He'll be playing all his hits, including "Monkey Bite" a song that caused quite a stir in '62 because of it's suggestive lyrics. That's rock and roll. Backing Hendrix will be Bakersfield band, The Dusk Devils.'
- i just found out, tho, we're not backing... it'll be like a full-blown dd show, w/al "helping out." i'm sure glad to've got that clarified w/the lost rocker before this wkend!! anyways, i'm looking fwd to a fun, fun time w/my pals. :) the weather should be perfect! ethel's serves a mean hot dog, too, so will have to break the seemingly-interminable lenten meat-fast, or rather, switch my sunday for a saturday, i think. the latter is, after all, the sabbath in many cultures, so the lord shouldn't care too much... i'm sposed to make a flyer, so i hope i do... al'll be doing the above show on his way to viva las vegas. he called w/good news, which was that deke dickerson'll be backing him on bass sax at viva... sounds like he'll have an all-star backing band! the other good news is, mr tidwell's recuperating nicely, which is a relief to hear. :)

kind thoughts to R.T., lifelifelife, & baby james

- spoke last nite to the lost rocker al hendrix, who filled me in on music news, but most importantly that we all need to send good thoughts/prayers to robert tidwell of token okies & wichitas, who is recuperating in hospital right now from mini-stroke... remember his dear wife, angel, too, when you send that white light! surrounded w/love & support, robert will heal, just as candye did, just as do so many who have the universal life force filling them. thoughts & prayers of strength to these dear people...
- how are you? i woke up w/tv hangover & disappointing last-minute phone call... then got online & had email message from MY FUTURE EX-HUSBAND!! (tho really, truly... i HAVE given up.) even still, that he knows who i am & even signed his msg "love," well, to imagine 27 yrs ago when i 1st saw his crazy-orgiastic, cunicularly handsome face that this'd be the case today is really unimaginable, if i think on it.
- speaking of faces, look @ whiteboy james & crew, by way of kaykay & youtube! whatta crazy hunk fireball! too, it's funny to me that scott abeyta actually looks younger NOW, 21 yrs later. ... someone told me the other day i must've found the fountain of youth, but i'd say scott might, too! you be the judge...

the other greatest rocknroll video ever made

the wonders of the internet! used to be this was a rarity purchasable only from target video via snail mail... i like the above pt best, but here's a link to the entire video! the cramps at napa state mental hospital! the other greatest video (actually a tv show): go here to posting called "a posting for jim b" -- don't knock the rock!

really cool people

two sides of my place dump onto national forest land, & w/all these storms & also ppl who hike thru, the trash builds up. haven't seen any NFS staff w/trash cans any time lately, so i slid down & cleaned out the arroyo as well as a large area behind my house that goes up into the mountains... good, exhausting work! found some cool stuff, bricks & metal bars & even an old tin can & pair of bifocals! - also, of course, lots of junk, like a disintegrated tent & pieces of a rusted bed, like maybe someone wasn't just camping out there, but maybe had set up home. makes me wonder where this person or these people went...
how are you? me, too much energy. discombobulated! lots of cleaning & exercise & pumping piano is the remedy. plus daily duty to the universe inside, from whence all comes... such practice helps keep that little demon down, the one that tells me go, go, go. that little trickster's fine @ times, like for creative spark & nerve, but @ others, she must be banished to her room!!!!
ok, it's about pasta time, then back to the boogie-woogie marathon... to have 10 moving fingers; to have a somewhat working mind; to have breath & a modicum of sanity: tho perhaps it take different shapes, we've all lots to celebrate while on this short trip of life, doncha think? :)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...

food in belly, (some) dough (still) in wallet (spent most of it already), big & small fun had by all, big & small. dusk devils rocked!! poker-faced scott, manic rick, & a soulful phil stormed & pounded the house. rick played max bangwell's slingerland set & on the encore, we sounded like the cramps!! i almost went out of my skin, hearing that coming from us!! as sure as i'll always get lost trying to get home from taft @ nite, its audiences will always be tops: people howled & danced in seats & whooped & clapped & screamed & smiled all night long. as appreciative males got drunker & drunker & dancers lost their equilibrium, my corseted undergarments fortuitously came in handy as effective body armor. fearless, fierce, x-rated gentleman james & i talked about 5 royales, musician dumbasses, how much we love being in the car, lucid dreams. wide-smiling scott abeyta pitched us a record dealy & max bangwell described his cool living set-up & working w/weird al for 6 yrs. blues express is super, super tight! oh, to be that tight: what would it be like?? as i said, tho, i was so happy w/dusk devils that nite. wow!
james mugged & joked, wily, wild, weird & sexual ("i thought i was just being weird," he sez) & w/the most keeningly powerful voice i know. i got a dedication again, as well as lots of "looks"!!!! i know, tho, that @ every show, some gal's got to be the focus; it's pt of the shtick, & i was flattered to get my turn.
near show's end, the stage a graveyard of beer bottles, jp did a trick emulating end of nekromantik (minus auto-erotic stabbing) w/strategically-placed exploding beer bottle that was so embarrassing & thrilling, it was just that much more plain-wrong yet perfect. i've been called a "fearless performer," but i am a little chicken compared to james, who'll do anything onstage to get folks to laugh & gape & adore. once it all was over, they locked the doors & i made extra cash playing the bar piano as indefatigable james sang (to me directly, @ times!). we even sang together on some ray price, tho by then i was running out of gas seriously-bad & starting to slip in my playing & also worrying about getting home to the yd sale i was suppoed to help w/that next day... but i'll always remember -- & this might sound like bragging, but it's what HAPPENED -- jp leaning over & leaning in & watching me like i was something special, watching me play & grinning, then cooing, "you're so talented," & then to the room, "isn't she talented? isn't she the greatest?" then telling me to play something "kinda pete johnson" & blasting out the strongest-piped version of "roll 'em pete" i've ever been in such proximity to, w/all the correct lyrics. whatta thrill! whatta kick! me & whiteboy james playing music like that! he said we should do a duo, play gigs in LA, we'd make all kind of money. true, he was pretty dang lit by then, but still, i was very flattered. life just sang @ that moment, & later, when i took ar un, the gorgeous, cool-breezed, wonderful wkend climate seeming to match this exhilaration. life does sing @ times, doesn't it? happy, happy to all, friends. happy happy!

this friday! woohoo!

we will be redeemed!

"friend...gooood..."

wie geht's, meine freunde?(warning -- alliteration ahead:) a couple of my most musical monster mates just had birthday blowout bashes. here are some graphics for them, & you, too, if you like... a few wks back, too, was bd of my future ex-husband, the creative big bro of all us in this particular little musical pond... looking fwd to aping big bro's 1st record w/our next (bsp, who's got broader musical interest than do i, said the clash did this w/elvis); auditioning for act whom i'm told will Travel w/a cap "t" (oh crap -- where's my passport?!?); working again w/al hendrix, the lost rocker; dusk devils groovings w/art fein, who says he'll make us "sound right" & "what've you [i] been waiting for?" & we'll feature this time all-original tunes -- 15 of them!
post-snowpocalypse, the "mad-wind's night work, the frolic architecture of snow" has calmed & this place, good gravy, is gloriously gorgeous!! no alpine resort could beat this mtn's beauty @ this moment. :) i hear bksfld's pretty lovely right now, too. time to pack a bag & get this bag down the hill.
today, let us all "be... the rainbow in the storms of life."
another great one: "i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning to sail my ship." (louisa may alcott)

cabin fever brings lack of fortitude, longing for smoggy bakersfield. snowpocalypse is here!

now i know why melville used white as a metaphor for evil. snow snow snow, everyplace is snow... there's no color! just blank blank blank, wind, fury, flurries that at 1st (10 hrs ago) looked to dance, now just menace, unnerve, bore, blah! friends've said today, "how beautiful it must be!" i grew up in the san joaquin valley. now, no one wants the valley's putrid cow air or particulate smog-death, but we natives're designed for hot! color! the springtime-beautiful, flat, green & golden valley! not this!!!
the power has been out most of the day & night. trees sway, weave, then crack, limbs snapping off under the wt of snow. the neighbor's took out my cable line as i sat staring out the window, stupid w/boredom, but it missed my truck! & also, i have no cable! so far, so good, really! but i wouldn't be surprised if i lose my phone or power lines before this storm's over. & if the power lasts? that'll be amazing! i'm not holding my breath!
i got the report from bksfld tv. 30 cars are stuck down in the middle of this town! this town is the hardest-hit of all storm areas! my neighbor says he's been here 8 yrs & this is the worst storm yet! all i know is, i am anxious & bored. i tell myself, no one's ever died of boredom. be thankful! it IS beautiful. but falling trees, no power, i shudder w/dread!... now, as dusk nears, the juice snaps back on for now. thank you, edison!
i look out & see a gigantic vehicle stuck right below my driveway. right there out the window! i don't want to look. it's embarrassing to all, to see such a sturdy-seeming beast spinning its silver wheels impotently in the sludge, like a harpooned leviathan, a noble creature wounded (even tho it's just a stupid car, in reality)...
this doesn't qualify as a blizzard - for that, i read, winds have to be 35 mph... but this is some white-out! i'm a suburban dweeb, a little wimp who'd never last in the wild. i want out! yes, i have a roof & food & gas for my heaters... but i want bakersfield!!
aaaaahhh!!! it's snowing & blowing even harder now!! it's the end of days, it's crazy-making, it's snowpocalypse! fields said it best, so here.

jenny and the phantoms perform real coolo songs

the chickens down the road are screaming!!! maybe they're pushing out some gigantor eggs... last night @ the mtg, my friend karen & i agreed we want chickens like our friend joy has. hers are pretty & funny & make multi-colored eggs. wow: imagine that!! :) ok, here's some new songs w/lyrics, very crude recordings (por supuesto). also put them on esnips, but since don't have quicktime on this particular laptop, can't embed that here (hence the video, which was sort of fun & irritating to make). (actually, i guess my "video" is really just a slide show, as my niece would pt out, were she here!) here's link to esnips audio of songs, tho there you can't be privy to the brilliant lyrics.
(please laugh.) new songs on esnips

music ate my brain

- at 11 pm tonight, i got the bright idea to record & upload to this site 6 of the 15 or so songs i've written in the past month. a music pal had encouraged me to not worry about quality (always a huge concern of mine)(ha!)(not!), said i can pull the songs when i get better versions. (hah! like i'll do that!)(oh well.) so here it is past 2:30 am... we'll see if i can get the songs posted... anyways, thanks, meine freunde. hope you likee.
- we were watching looney tunes down at candye k's pad in oceanside last wk, me munching taco take-out & candye & laura practicing for their session that next day. laura played the line from "scratch my back" as candye relaxed in her chair w/her apple on her lap & sang w/the guitar a strong, sexy, bluesy take on "sweet nothings," giving some mondo cojones to a fun tune that yet used to embarrass me to sing due to its wimpiness. candye's version will not wimp one bit! what a genius way to give albondigas to a cool but sissy tune: add some slim harpo & let candye sing it! then they went into one candye'd written but they'd never hashed out, "haunted house." candye belted away, laura played. writing it the night before - so beat! so punk rock! (i'm being admiring, not ironic.) (am clarifying that bc no context in text has caused catastrophes in this casa of late.) anyways, they finished, then just like that, PLAYBACK! i jumped off the divan & sputtered, "you're listening to it already? just like that?" they looked at me patiently, dumb peasant that i am. apple has a built-in audio studio program!!! sh*tfire! if i had an apple, i would've been in bed hrs ago!
-arrghh!! &#*$&!)#*%!! audacity is causing problems! i cannot try to upload the songs again (this would be the 3rd pass) or i shall die. yes, there are far more destructive & pathetic reasons to be up all night long on the computer than obsession w/music & writing, but posting these songs'll just have to wait til manana. like sands thru the hour glass, these are the days of our lives...

farewell to meat, hello, my friends, blablabla

just learned that "carnivale" (carne + vale) means "farewell to meat." how timely & comforting, the uncanniness of the etymology & a-ha moment: of course! 40 days of change & increased vigilance w/regards to food, people, & ideas is a wise place to go for sacrifice & continuing discipline. carnivale!
am not ready to go get ashes today, tho... maybe next yr. carnivale, tho, is not just imperative right now, i'm thinking, but a doable task!
it'd've been better, maybe, if i'd spent last night in revelry instead of repentance, but such is life right now & @ least w/each new sunrise & breath, there's chance for renewal. to stop & stand in mistakes, like a pile of stool, would be the only real mistake. (sing along: "go forward... move ahead... try to detect it... it's not too late... to whip it... whip it good!")
san diego county is paradise, the beaches peaceful & less crowded than LA's; friends run deep for me there, ppl whom i admire & aspire to be more like.
the dear mcgraws are the hosts w/the mosts, friendly, fun-loving, generous, tough, & kind. we attended little italy's carnevale & watched brocaded, stilted street performers w/elaborate masks lumber around while mediterraneanesque musicians sang & played & children hopped & twirled & danced & merrymakers gathered at pizza joints & cafes. not just people, but pets, too, walked around dressed like montresor & fortunato or extras in the merchant of venice, & the romantic melodies of each song we heard lingered. bill & i could've driven freddie a little nuts w/our constant happy singing, whistling, & humming except that F&B're too big-hearted to drive nuts; they just love all as-is, always, tho, as i mentioned, pull covers as called for!
got to go to many mtgs. got to hang w/candye & laura in oceanside, watch foghorn leghorn, spend time @ the beach there in meditation & stroll, have a tasty repast @ pannikan coffee & tea near the ocean. got to get a pep-talk from candye, who is generous & caring & strong that way &, as busy as she is, always makes time to bolster others. it occurred to me one night that in january while i was trying to come back to life cooling my heels in new mexico, candye was onstage performing her heart out, telling her own life story onstage! talk about contrast... candye says it's not yet out on DVD, but here's a link to her play, which laura said sold out more & more each night of its run... you know it must be a heck of an inspiring story -- must be quite a well-done production, too, to have generated that kind of buzz! the toughest girl alive

memphis mike, carnivale, friends, life goes on

memphis mike told me today a couple he knows call this "their song." weird & cool bc mike wrote it for me when i was going thru the latest deep depression. it DOES have a really pretty slide guitar, tho, a murky romance, despite its melancholic sound. maybe the female of his friends is also named jenny. hmmm.
- you never know what people will find romantic. for instance, one of the most romantic songs i know is doug kershaw/fats domino's version of "don't mess with my toot-toot." :)
- yesterday was a glorious drive in the south valley w/snow-capped mountains, barren hilltop vineyards stately as calvary, golden light & flutters of birds, signs for sorghum & pine nuts, homely & humble crumbles of former roadside stops, the wide wide flat flat green green valley that is home down in my bones, its mere sight on clear days bringing such deep rest & comfort! today i went rock-hunting & have worked on another circuit of my labyrinth. but it's become another dark time here on the mtn, tho outside is brilliant & beautiful. the law of attraction seems to be in action, but i know, know, know that also can mean great good w/the next persistent breath. the trick & task is to continue no matter what.
- *inhale* *exhale*
- tomorrow i hope to powwow w/manuel re important bidness before joining up w/my dear, dear friends F&B. was gonna see candye, too, but i think that busy gal double-booked: she's playing in vegas! i'd rather be there when she is there, tho her place is so nice, balmy, peaceful... penultimately, looks to be a fantastic mardi gras party in downtown san diego this wkend: little italy carnevale. (last section deleted by me.)

john doe, david nigel lloyd

- someone asked about john doe of x. what i know: he lived in frazier park. he moved to bakersfield. i lived in bakersfield. i moved to frazier park. john bazz quipped we "switched places." i suspect john doe lived in much larger digs than do i, tho i love my house to pieces & the only other one i want here, up on the wet (south) side of this little valley w/a perfect apple tree in the yd & view of this mountain, has been sold & is owned by someone who hasn't even fixed the place up one bit. that little house deserves some love!!
- i hear JD left bakersfield. if so, can't say i blame him. roots musicians are sometimes drawn from around the world to bksfld, romancing it, believing it still to have its scrappy down-home honky-tonking musical nightlife. shortly reality hits, that there's small support for musicians in general, never mind the ones that cleave to the area's rebelliously twangy tradition. bakersfield's like a bad relationship: love to hate it, hate to love it. i think you have to be native to be willing to stick around for the good times the relationship can bring cause in between them, there's big-time disappointment to be had, living in bakersfield.
- a storm's supposed to dump upon the mountain. david nigel- & gita lloyd are to visit soon. i hope i'll be home to host them, since my plans are to squirrel off. david's playing tomorrow, saturday, @ the work of heart gallery here, 7 pm, $15. he's worth forking out the dough. here's more info: DNL in FP david & gita are the real thing, the real tamale, warm, bright, & fascinating folks devoted to the true artists' ways. they are pure in a place that's often, sadly, just purely polluted. praise & support to the lloyds.

banes of humanity

tho am supposed to these days play more, fret less (not talking guitar, either), the following are two strategy- & pattern-freak crazy-makers. productivity & commitment, to the devil, for tonight has brought game-centered -- therefore creative, therefore the only type desirable -- obsession & madness! have fun with silversphere and bloxorz... mwahahahahahaha!

the muses ain't dead; long live the appendages.

after nearly two yrs, finally set up my little home "studio" here @ the mtn abode & recorded three new songs (well, two were "old," but unfinished til today). have written lots of songs, but haven't had the heart to record for quite some time... so today was a real milestone!
took quite a long time to find everything i needed, get it all hooked up, then recall how the 8-track works... forgot what a transcendent, immersing experience home recording is. joy!! where'd the day go?!? am suddenly hungry & cold, tho didn't noticed while working on songs.
too, so love playing bass & making it really boom, as well as fit crude semblances of percussion parts together. can't play guitar worth a lick, so on one ronnie dawson-kind of tune, i threw an A chord on top of where B went, eliciting a weirdish, chicken-scratch, hasil adkins-manquee kind of sound... yeah!
am so happy & grateful for today: wonderful little mtg in pinon pines w/my mtn fellowship friends, visit w/sister, then all day snowflakes & wind & sun & clouds & then more snow, a real winter wonderland, while inside all's cozy & music-filled.
can't wait to work on songs more tomorrow. for now, time to quit, find something to eat, maybe read or roku for a bit.
if i can download audacity, then remember my esnips password, will try to add new songs there in the next eon or so.
it's saturday night! tomorrow's jonny whiteside's messaround @ viva cantina burbank, then manuel @ liquid kitty, plus kaykay's cattle call jam @ julie's branding iron in bako... :)
the appendages live. long live the appendages!

it really looks like this! (pour me out & call me sugar. impossible to be bitter in these pts, after all.)

found this pic from life magazine - i believe it could be the road heading away from my very own house! it really looked that beautiful here today, in any case, after last night's storm... yes, anybody'd delight w/living in this lovely mountain town. today i made the rounds of locals shops w/small goal beyond being out & about... an old man named john, who volunteers @ the various thrift shops, smiled, clapped his hands, & exclaimed, "oh! you're back. you are so beautiful!" HE'S beautiful: straight-backed, coffee-colored, beaming broadly, today in neatly pressed turquoise shirt & shiny western belt buckle. i'm not special except in that john makes everyone feel special. he is one of the kindest & happiest fellows i've ever met! going place to place around the mtn, ppl were friendly, happy. the day was stunning! what was to keep ppl on the mtn from feeling joyful to some degree? this morning, a mist resembling snow danced around the sky, shiny particles swirling & tumbling in heavenly jitterbug, but the climate was too warm for snow; a deep sniff of air brought a clean fragrance of aliveness, refreshment, even the beach! it was magical, as is, i believe, this place, this golden mountain, these rocks, these trees, trees that sang & sighed & moaned during last night's storm. best of all was to share the evening w/my dear sister here, the palpable connection w/loved ones, & now to settle w/a book or maybe even a movie. gentle evening to all.
announcing: we have more gigs coming up
building: next wk, a labyrinth
cleaning: house, in several ways
deciding: whether to paint or not
emphasizing: to try to control others is to demean them
fine-tuning: new songs from the last few days
gravitating toward: a gentler & happier way (i hope)
hoping: for a full moon
ignoring: the mean ones
joking: with my sister tonight over dinner
kissing: roscoe & gusgus
listening to: the space heater, ocean sounds
meditating upon: acem
needing: rocks for my labyrinth
orienting: to new ways of thinking
postulating that: plants are sentient & therefore feel pain & therefore
questioning: what the heck do we eat?
reading: just kids by patti smith
stuck on: wonderment that i'm still here
thinking: dinner @ los pinos w/angie was sure good
unable to: fly
valuing: having been awakened again to life
wanting: a fire
x-amining: the evidence, instead of the voices in my head
yearning for: iceland, new orleans
zoning out: because of a full stomach

v day!

happy valentine's day to all! -especially to that secret, most important valentine residing w/in, the ever-loving, ever-constant partner who knows us best & always roots for us, even when we forget... thank you to patty b for pix from sat's show... i was so happy to have a sincere heart-to-heart w/becky "cattie ness," hear her rockin band, talk w/karling & hear her crystal-clear vocals & whip-sharp band, to perform for the 1st time minus monster makeup, wearing a dress of demure length bc it was red & fringy & why the heck not? all in all, saturday felt like a debut into a life of realness -- despite the highly artifical setting! i take this as a very good sign... to combine authenticity w/performance: what a heartening accomplishment -- seemingly, now, possible! thank you & much love to my ultra-rockin dusk devils men for setting the stage on fire w/heart, talent, & dedication to always putting in nothing less than 110% -- no slackers in this lineup, & it shows in the way the audience cheers, in the palpable excitement coming from the crowd!... gentleness, fun, gratitude, & love to you. :)

what a confusing life... but wheeee!!!!

this will be a great way to return to civilization... karling (and big manny?), becky, burlesque, and DUSK DEVILS!!! wow.

here i is, i is here

the hostel clerk is online listening to dervishy sitar music... feel a little swoony, but it might be the abq nm altitude... i opted here @ the rt 66 hostel for the $35 rm instead of $20 dorm bed & my place upstairs (am sitting in common rm/kitchen area to do the net thing) is HUGE!!! - sitting rm w/futon, arched entry leading to bedrm w/2 beds, bay windows, private bath (unusual in a hostel, you know)... it's old & funky. like me. oh; having just finished trauma camp, i know i shouldn't speak of myself in such ways. no more cheap jokes! not for tonight, anyhow. but that one was too good to avoid. :)
what to say about life healing center, santa fe, nm? if you know someone in serious distress, wanting to check out of this life, & can make it happen financially, send them! LHC treats mind-body-spirit, no pill-pushing -- just compassion, education, camaraderie, love, uncovering of core reasons for crippling life problems. from it, i feel new, w/internal partner i never realized was there, skills to be a grown-up w/integrity & dignity, the ability to be genuine & realistic... if i use what i learned & do not magnify, but instead recognize & integrate the dark side.
there's some chance now my insides can match my outsides. obviously, this is a very, very good deal, much more than reprieve from desire to check out, which is all i asked for. this morning i said goodbye to dear stacy (she is commemorated near the women's smoke pit, where she would've been the life of the party), walked the grounds labyrinth for the last time (walked it most days i was there). it's been snowing like crazy, arctic weather in nm unprecedented in 40 yrs. sun-lit ice crystals wafted all around like magic celestial jewels, reminders of the eternal spirit of sky & land... i looked up just as a flock of rose-bellied birds flew over, beautiful brothers & sisters. said bye thru tears to wonderful women. even the men said bye, tho we're not sposed to talk. the true love, not lust or fear-based desire for clinging, was palpable more & more each day. we rooted for each other. i grew to love & respect so many. mama said i was courageous to see i needed help, but i didn't see courage til i met the other ppl @ LHC, staff & clients. self-actualization, authenticity: what a task! achievable, but such hard work! besides gratitude, my middle name now must be vigilance, for to have these skills now is a miracle, & it could be an ephemeral one if i'm not careful...
i could blab on & on, obviously; if you read this & want to know more about LHC, please email me. would love to share more.
being off the grounds felt surreal: walking freely, getting my own meals, window shopping, exploring. the train ride to abq was pleasant, sleepy. checked in to hostel, explored on ft the old downtown abq, saw true grit, ate pizza & drank soda & read the free papers (ken's LHC cooking was good, but oh, to eat non-LHC food!!! wow!!!!) i'll miss my new sisters... but will see them soon. more true friends! more love! amazing.
"when you turn toward the light, the shadows fall away."
as pasha would say, "warmth & kindness to you."

goodbye & thanks for the sopaipillas

land of enchantment. georgia o'keefe. earth ships. sangre de cristos. turquoise & velvet. carlsbad caverns. big native sky. ancient spirits. clean blue air. high painted deserts. santos y retablos. norman petty studios. gary farmer and the troublemakers. sacred clowns, real tobacco, petroglyphs & canyons, kasharis, yucca, pinon pine, pueblos, route 66, las cruces, sopaipillas, gallup, the el rancho, mama says "everyone looks like us," taos, pueblos, old churches, dusty roads, the pecos & the rio grande, green enchiladas, chaco canyon, rez dogs, chile & frijoles, ojo caliente, grandmas selling baubles, old town, hot sauce, "indians," the sad scourge of alcoholism, beauty in spite of it all, beauty & peace... please add to this list til i get back. when i get back, i will know how to live well.

honoring the king as well as the king & queen of rocknroll music

every yr i'm so amazed art keeps asking us back to this fantastic show... this yr, i asked him if he had any requests. "well," he replied, "no one's ever done ready teddy. or long tall sally. or tutti frutti." his next email read, "and certainly not ever has anyone done them as a medley." my heart flipped & i took the hint. what a task!!: to not just honor the king of rocknroll, but to put on the mantle of the one & only mister penniman, self-proclaimed king AND queen of rocknroll!... i don't know how well we'll ape, but good heavens, we'll sure have our fun singing & playing those tunes!! in fact, everyone that night will have fun -- even if we fall off the stage, totally crash & burn, we'll be but a tiny grinning, swinging part & the show will go on & all will have fun! happy upcoming birthday to elvis, on the heels of baby new year...

gud jul & L7 over x in the snow: true love is the devil's crowbar; he hung me with the endless rope; you will always subtract your arms from my arms

-> (sometimes on here stuff seems sort of in code, to protect people's privacies, not to deliberately obfuscate, but i recently heard the latter's how it can come off, so if you don't know it, the above translates as "happy new year from frazier park," followed by lyrics from the terrific LA '80s punk-roots-art band X, who wrote a lot about the world's social injustice, but also about love-torture. the heart IS a lonely hunter. and often wounded & hungry, too.)
-> my former future-ex-husband (i've given up) phil alvin will serve as master of ceremonies for the gene taylor blues band's new yr's eve show this friday nite at LA's redwood room. gene'll be backed by the original blasters, for pete's sake. here's an article about this going-to-be-incredibly-awesome show, at which i will not be. yeah, should just kill myself & get it over with, but've been doing this spiritual practice lately, yknow, so just won't... plus (it IS some consolation, tho gene'll be back in belgium by then) will get to see most of these fellas @ the elvis birthday bash, art fein's annual super shindig, art fein of hollywood, that is, our manager in name, man about tinseltown, gadfly, scribe, hopeful malcontent w/love of music so fervent, bet it overrides his hatred of sloppy language (don't read this, @), art whose green corduroy jacket i finally shall return in hope-not-too-dog-haired & wrinkled condition...
-> lately my thing is to miss it all, like a bizarro world art. for instance, a blasphemy: x played the other night @ the crystal palace, but in my bones i knew i just had to get home to the mtns, so no estaba.
-> my sister reported they played the entire los angeles album, then at least 3-4 songs from every other. after i finished throwing up, i got back on the phone. "billy zoom looked perfect," she cooed, "& afterward john doe & exene were out in the lobby signing autographs but i couldn't go up to him!! i was too scared!!" i recalled to her 1st time mtg phil alvin being that way, shaking like the leaves on the trees... brian p, good guy, grabbed me & pushed me up to phil, who kissed my hand & recited a poem. bp took pix; in them, i look like maybe i just had a fit, sort of spacy & goony. wish i'd been @ x cause would've done the same for my sis, shoved her up there so she'd have a photo memento.
-> what else? candye kane's & tom yearsley's party. that'll be a super gas. a SUPER GAS!! and I WAS INVITED!! (me & 1,000 others, that is.) then there's another party in simi valley where was told i even could sit in, but they'll be playing '80s & the friend who invited me & even is playing it is not excited about it... 3 musical event possiblities... i mean, jeez.
-> what's wrong w/me?!? such a stick in the mud. we only live once, right? but lately am in a space where 1) my spirit's doing well; 2) therefore don't have thoughts of head in oven; & 3) wanna keep it that way. really, something about the music just makes me come unhinged. can't do halfway: it's love or barf! that's fine when close to home so a person can slip out, or is surrounded by brothers & sisters so can come down safely. but all the aforementioned events'll be in the southland. that leaves me alone after the ball drops & therefore maybe headed for lonesome town & maybe even dangerland. so trying to be wise, this hermit's gonna miss it all this auld lang syne. but will hope to see the ball drop, anyhow, at some cozy place, & usher in 2011 soberly... be you sober or not, @ 12 am on jan 1, may you be safe & happy.
-> prudence, wisdom, chickenness? feh. no se importa. why'd i even write all this? maybe you face similar indecision, worry about being uncool, missing out, life leaving you behind. but how can we be cool if we're dead? the health of one's soul must come first. then fun, then coolness, then kicks. as a person i know says, "i have spoken."
-> drew a full house @ the goodwill recently, picking up john doe's roadside prophets, juke logan, & exene's old wives tales on cassette - 25 cents each! so happy for my antiquated av gear, which allows such deals. yes, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! feliz ano nuevo!! so for 2011, here's some x lyrics:
-> absence makes the heart grow fonder / so i never want to see you again / i'm wrecking the kitchen carefully / but i'm keeping your dinner warm...
... as well as their sort of new year's song:
-> year one little babies, year one on their tvs, no a.d. b.c. a.d. patriotic people sleep in washington d.c., waiting waiting waiting, they don't feel a thing, no dolls no debutantes, no desperate living class, no roman catholic mass, no magazines no tv, no r.c.a. no g.e., year one in our history, year one in society, they're waiting for the son, for any son to come, year one you're on, i'm one
(in fine: brilliant niece on the world ending in 2012; read this imagining a teenage voice dripping w/sarcasm: "the mayan calendar is a circle. assuming a circle has a beginning OR end, which it does NOT, people, what would you do when it ends? YOU START OVER. i imagine if the ancient mayans hadn't been wiped out, they'd've made a new calendar starting at 2012... but there ARE NO ANCIENT MAYANS ANYMORE. and IT'S A CIRCLE, PEOPLE!")

bless-ed.

in the old days, the word "blessed" or anything resembling it would've made me puke. but over the holidays, i rented my house thru the site airb&b, & i do feel blessed w/the way things went down.
"strangers? aren't you worried they might trash your house?" an aunt of mine asked. no, i wasn't; i was forthright in describing my house: nothing fancy, but w/beautiful vws & wonderful other perks, i feel, that wouldn't appeal to insincere ppl, mebbe. no real amenities except star-gazing, hiking, mountains, clean air, fireplace, cozy cabin-like ambience, etc. i sensed anyone who'd choose my place would appreciate it as a humble & friendly place... or maybe i'd be wrong & they'd trash it. we'd see how it would go, but i had a feeling all would be ok.
never realized how messy my place was til a young family reserved it for christmas. yipes!! i started scrubbing. for 3 days. :) then a darling young girl & her cute, bubbly mom showed up @ the door. their story sounded sadly too-typical of what's up today in the usa: dad lost job, family had to separate for economic reasons, mom & daughter stay w/grandma while mom finishes school, dad lives in entirely separate town. a young family wrenched apart. "i've been looking for a place i could afford so we could all be together for the holidays," smiled mom. "i'm so grateful; i can't even tell you!" she enthused in 10 different ways how much she loved my house & hugged her little girl. "she's been so brave," she said. the little girl smiled & hugged me when i left. "have fun, sweety!" i said. my heart swelled & i sniffled & smiled w/gratitude down the hill to bako. what a christmas, to be renting my place so that i might have a little dough, but then for THIS family to get to be together bc of it!
then someone i know asked, "did you meet the father?" no, replied i.
worry temporarily set in. what if he's just out of prison, unrepentant? outlaw biker? mean drunk? what if mom & girl were just waiting for me to leave so they could bring in bad papa?
good sense returned. bah - nonsense. as mama said, "it's CHRISTMAS!" (this translates as, "all are welcome, we love everyone, we trust everyone." this is sort of mama's credo all the time, tho.)
my christmas was even better than i'd thought it could be. astoundingly nice. & yesterday i called the dad to give all the heads-up i'd be coming home that next day. a humble voice answered; w/in secs i knew there'd been no need for worry. "we are so blessed to have been able to stay together in your house for the holidays." how was your christmas? i asked. great, he said. "& it was the neatest thing. we were having dinner & looking out the window & it started to snow." snow at christmas for a family reunited, a little girl surrounded by loving mom & dad. i ran sniffling & smiling w/gratitude to my beaming family, all of us wondering @ the christmasy spirit of the whole thing.
today i got home. the daughter was waiting in the window & when i pulled up, she jumped off the couch. the family came right out: beautiful, beaming mom, handsome, clear-eyed dad, smiling child, doggies. we chatted for a few minutes. they smiled & enthused about what a wonderful time they'd had. i went in my house, so happy to be home. they'd left me a huge, cheerful bouquet of flowers, a box of cookies, food in the fridge, a handwritten note & a beautiful card from all containing words like "magical," "amazing," "enchanting," "cozy," & "wonderful." THEY thanked ME. my heart sang, as would yours, i'd think! i sniffled & smiled w/gratitude, then called & told mama & wrote about it here bc i must not ever forget this! don't know why such a nice experience happened to me, but it did, & all i can say is i feel so happy to have had this house that allowed that young family to be together & have such a nice time.
& i do feel blessed; there's not really another word i can think of that better describes it.
happy, happy holidays. :)

happy holidays!!!!

click here to read "a christmas carol," only 1 of dickens's holiday stories, but the greatest novella ever, i think, aside from "dr jekyll and mr hyde," that is! hope any who might read this are fed, warm, & happy -- as well as the millions of our brethren who won't ever read this!!
imagine a world where all are fed, warm, & happy. what would life be like then? may we be well. may our fellow humans be well. may your days be merry & bright.

post 500: mister awesome tickles the ivories, rides & swings the B&W rails this new yrs eve!!!!

oh, what can i say about mister awesome, who gave me a piano lesson at a friend's hollywood apt several yrs back, except WOW? was supposed to go down to harvelle's last night to see gene, backed by original blasters minus professor phil... a storm hit!!! the weather was a-blowing and colld, colld, colld - "not fit for maaan or beast!" i made it in the house, freezing like a drowned rat, made it in thru the door & slammed it shut and... the place was so cozy, so christmasy, while outside blustered, sleeted, winds on the way up the grapevine @ 40mph...
i stayed in. the storm never ended. then blasters fan #1 lisa carin emailed today & said the band played 2 sets last night & it was beyond awesome... telling of my mind-state today, i feel not like i wanna put my head in an oven @ that happy news, but happy for all who got to witness it & excited about new yr's eve!, when gene & co play the final american show for this yr, @ the BELLY UP of all places! close to candye, freddie & bill, beach, temperate climate, & blazers memories (see link below for gene's schedule)... speaking of blazers, manuel/big manny's on tour in tx right now w/life-long buddy ruben (tho they no longer play together, for the most pt) doing the big manny christmas album! i hope they're having a swell time together... they've known each other over 40 yrs! they speak music & marx bros & more! so delighted manuel & ruben are together for this yuletide...
the gray matter is radiating calm happiness right now. hope you who read be experiencing this, too. :) to be not just still alive, but in a cozy mountain shelter w/music, visitors, food, things to read, some dough, able body & mostly cooperating coconut, friendships, love, & 2nd chances... well, what's there to be sad about? your particulars might be a bit different, but if you're with me, well, let's give thanks. happy christmas week to all. :)

el mero mero

these guys were even cooler than i thought they'd be... take a look! they sound exactly like the ramones -- a really tight, powerful, faithful tribute! the incongruity of look w/sound is the initial conceit -- but the music itself is very well-done & huge fun!
they had a xmas CD for sale -- rick & phil, good eggs, bought copies & then LR had phil supply the "gabba gabba hey" during "pinhead." watching phil the rockabilly boy scout thrashing around w/these mugs, ultra-cool in their mexican red-white-&-green, black stetsons, & drunken-tio beards & mullets, was such a kick! it made me restless, tho, like i get, never wanting to play any slow songs ever again, wanting to get hold of shantell to do that all-girl cramps tribute we've been talking about for yrs... slow songs: yech!!! LR was nice afterwards; they're east-LAers, so i had to ask if anyone knew manuel, & one recalled from when "i was a little kid," hanging out @ an east-side record store where the older guys would jam. "those guys were our heroes," he said. i feel dumb cause i can't remember which ramon this was... oh well. i'm sure we'll see them again. :)
"what a great double-bill!" enthused steve price, who showed up w/truly elvis-worthy mutton chops... pizza-slices were faithfully NY-style, our set was fun (tho i couldn't hear the keyboard) (scotty did "lovesick blues" for the 1stx on stage & it came out cool!), & david & nancy were the best, friendliest hosts!... dusk devils love rocknroll pizza, worth a visit if you're traveling anytime down topanga cyn between the 118 & 101, right across from the mammoth shopping mall... in a day of karaoke, sports bars, top 40 & cover bands who eat up all the paying gigs, & general indifference, people who are so faithful to live rocknroll music, like the redballs folks, deserve support & gratitude!!!
long live rocknroll. long live rocknroll pizza!

spread the bird, bird, bird is the word...

- presented here's the devo-evo-lution of our R&R pizza show flyers, courtesy of creative gourmand david vieira: note that the devil-chick show is tomorrow. yay!!! :)
- on another note, boogie-woogie king gene taylor's here from belgium! catch him before he goes home: click on "tour," then scroll down to GT blues band
- wonder if he'll pop up @ the elvis show again? 1x, 2 yrs ago, was enough for this heart: i nearly plotzed in a died-&-gone-to-heaven moment. i mean, all that talent, then gene walks in unexpectedly?? my lord!!
- as is, @ elvis show we're on bill w/not just a cast of thousands, but candye, karling, AND ruby!!!!!!!! how'd that happen??
- oh yeah... art. wow, art; wow. :) he makes wonderful musical assemblages annually @ these things -- can't believe we & i get to be a part. i pinch myself! it's unimaginable! to think where i could be & instead to get this... time to regroup, for mild gratitude, for calm reflection, not impulse for merriment & mania, to guffaw & monkey about & jump & run... will save that for the stage. :)
- for what do you have to be grateful? (let's all take a second to pause... bow heads... give thanks...) heh! just kidding, sort of!
- feliz fin de semana y felices fiestas to you, dear reader, whomever you be. life, oh life! we're still here! rejoice!

storming inside, storming outside... what a mess

man-about-hollywoodtown art fein mentioned our gallery/ruby escapade in his latest column: "I went to an art opening for my friend John Tottenham, whom I’d always known one-dimensionally as a writer. His drawings and paintings covered many white walls at a space next to a sport-shoes store in a nondescript part-American area south on La Cienega and a great celebration and gathering was at hand. Jenny the thrush [as in the throat infection, mebbe?] and ivory-tickler from the Dusk Devils came along and we ran into many people we know, including to our surprise the surprised Phil Alvin. Much fun was had. Then we went over to a club mysteriously hidden behind Amoeba Record to attend Rodney Bingenheimer’s Rock & Roll show featuring my idol Ruby Friedman. We got in a little late and caught only two of her songs, but two of her songs is worth a hundred of anyone else’s ..." yes, definitely ruby is idol-worthy... was awed but also scared to watch her, really. so powerful. such emotion. can't really handle it. panic, choke, feel end drawing near. it gets stupid-bad! must limn edges of life, stay nimble, hop around, stay ahead. life's heaviness is too close-to-the-surface in this brain. yet, in a finger's snap, all is bliss, wonder, amazement! i often just don't get why i got this particular coconut, bent on my destruction, seemingly... anyways, the above describes only one of about 50 escapades of which @ writes this mo.; he's never in one place, he goes from town to town... he really gets around! (at top of this page is ad for this yr's elvis show, too.) sofein
* @ mysteriously left his green corduroy jacket in the small space of my truck's front seat (daughter jessie had his car, so i chauffeured). i'm sorry to say it now bears dog hair... would love to get pix from paul body of the night, including 1 of me/PA & AF, tho am positive i was having a very bad hair night.
* tottenham's art was peculiar & affecting. one series showed a disabled, nude, seemingly depressed, underfed woman. i thought it exploitative, & then an acquaintance said he liked it!: that it showed the humanity of persons normally not considered subjects of art! my dear friend donna'd probably say rashomon may be the case -- someplace in the middle is Truth.
* imagine that. the frigging middle. now there's a wise construct!
* the wall that flipped me out most displayed a score of small paintings, ea of a different man w/a different woman, ea in which the man's fingers are stuffed in the woman's mouth.
* i mean, what the hell can i say about that except i just don't know what the hell to say about that... it was kinda weird & thrilling & depressing, i guess.
* lastly, am glad i saw art's post & have something to write about that doesn't involve an oven & my head. (just kidding, loved ones, about something not funny one bit.) the dog boys are here & it's storming like crazy... i should be @ a mtg!... so what's it like to have two ppl living in one body? (not that you asked?) bliss & bane, thrill & despair, too much for me...
* waiting for the next wave, when the updraft hits & i go soaring... should be soon, knowing this rollercoaster... soon!! "there is always madness in love. but there also is always some reason in madness." nietzsche? is it true???
* wishing you a warm place out of the elements, w/a head & soul that cooperate...

shadows, d.h. lawrence

r.i.p. to heather & peace to all of her loved ones.

and if tonight my soul may find her peace
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower
then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.

and if, as weeks go round, in the dark of the moon
my spirit darkens and goes out, and soft strange gloom
pervades my movements and my thoughts and words
then I shall know that I am walking still
with God, we are close together now the moon’s in shadow.

and if, as autumn deepens and darkens
I feel the pain of falling leaves, and stems that break in storms
and trouble and dissolution and distress
and then the softness of deep shadows folding,
folding around my soul and spirit, around my lips
so sweet, like a swoon, or more like the drowse of a low, sad song
singing darker than the nightingale, on, on to the solstice
and the silence of short days, the silence of the year, the shadow,
then I shall know that my life is moving still
with the dark earth, and drenched
with the deep oblivion of earth’s lapse and renewal.

and if, in the changing phases of man’s life
I fall in sickness and in misery
my wrists seem broken and my heart seems dead
and strength is gone, and my life
is only the leavings of a life:

and still, among it all, snatches of lovely oblivion, and snatches of renewal
odd, wintry flowers upon the withered stem, yet new, strange flowers
such as my life has not brought forth before, new blossoms of me

then I must know that still
I am in the hands of the unknown God,
he is breaking me down to his own oblivion
to send me forth on a new morning, a new man.