ribbit... yawn... blablablablablablablablablablablabla

- (excessive 1st person pronoun alert... dang it, it's my blog! why do i apologize? good grief. oh well.)
- life's hopping, tho activity's been slow here on the blablablog... a frog in my throat since last saturday, i sang my pipes out completely at our DD/karling & atomics show in sta clarita, afterward collapsing into total sicky land. (word around bakersfield, which ALWAYS is the word around bakersfield, btw: "there's something nasty going around...") been pretty miserable, worsening things by continuing to try to gallivant as well as show up for family, telling friends since it's just physical sickness, i can handle it -- a wan joke... shoulda seen it coming, tho, & been smarter: been hitting it too hard. then there was the cold (tho fun) 6.5 mile hike led by andy noise/exploding water bag (read beblablablablalow)... dang, why is common sense so elusive? must get some payoff, as must all who may be intelligent, but aren't too dang smart, literally in my case not smart enough to come in out of the rain (well, water)... back to sta clarita, i've never done a show so laryngitically: ouch, it hurt intensely!! so like at our last show at trout's (bassless), i figured we better just attack that sucker & rock it extra super-hard!! i found out that robbie's stage presence is as cool-solid as stevo's is winning as well as that people still seem to love dusk devils & tell me kind, flattering things, even when i have no voice, & that a rockabilly-punk band called inazuma, who played clean-up that night, are my favorite japanese band since guitar wolf... wow! those guys were super-cool & rockin!!! they really capped the whole eve for me & made it one of the funnest gigs i've had in some time, ill health included. it was so swell to hear & watch them grind out "shakin all over" as kids & oldsters bounced off one another in a slampit... haven't seen anything like that in quite some time!
- being sick all wk i've had to realize how much i miss & get a kick out of my silly, neotenic voicet; it was reduced to a scratch, then a bark, then a nothing, then a whisper, then a drag queen, then waylon flower's madam, marge simpson, fran drescher w/o the honk, & finally, finally it's about 80% back, tho i still can't sing too well & still have a lot of throat/ear/eye pain...the impulse to just shout it out is near-overwhelming. i can't recall so, so wanting to sing! i guess the sentiment that "you always want what you can't have" extends beyond "love"... i've had two chances to play music this wk w/others & one i absolutely could not resist, so through the glass shards piercing my ears & throat, sang i did, realizing tho my range is significantly reduced, were i to have to continue like this, i could evolve into a shout singer cause there can be no fear: a person's got no choice but to belt it out good!!
- went to a few music shows to see my wild bluesman friend james blast the concrete off the barroom floor like he always does, feeling unusually shocked & amazed by his & his band's charisma, tightness, musical prowess/knowledge, & sorcerer-like power, whipping the crowd up in a wave of musical frenzy & catharsis ("a dionysian!" exclaimed my artist friend, her eyes lighting up w/joy, when i told her how he blows each solo & belts out each song as if it could be his last, w/such commitment to performance, any human unmoved, or rather, un-entranced, would have to be one incapable of emotion or in heavy denial)... so i showed up & was so surprised & flattered (& slightly embarrassed) to be greeted as if it were MY show, too!, w/people asking left & right when DDs were gonna play & how much they love ME (me??)... i tell you, who could've envisioned this kind of response from folks? i can only be dazed & grateful & try to appreciate it while i'm here, at this time in my life, doing it... i especially love that i get such kind attention from other women... anyways, back to the voice, a gal singer at one show told me she ruined hers for YEARS not resting it during laryngitis, even had to have surgery on her vocal cords. that should scare me, & it did momentarily, but my monkey don't listen & also has a short attn span.
- i hope i don't pay dearly for this some day... :(
- dang, how many times in life, in how many situations, have i (you, too, maybe?) "vaguely sensed," as it says in the big book, "i was not being any too smart," then ignored the little voice (not the monkey; monkey usually is the "big voice," unfortunately) & went full-steam ahead into whatever foolishness loomed? the big book also says, "common sense will... become uncommon sense." ha! when? well, only when i'm willing to take some right action! -- not when i'm running around w/pockets full of cash & no commitments except to play music & hang out w/loved ones. talk about a spoiled life i'm having right now!... merde... i shudder now, tho, realizing that the only way i've ever cleaned up my ways is thru some calamity/nightmare/travesty or other... unless i want the bad monkey to hog the cage, & indeed, crap all over & eventually ruin it, i need to be back in service.
- dang it!! i used to tell students one of the main benefits of writing is it helps them figure stuff out... this just was proved to me again.
- after all, as a friend so in-eloquently but truthfully stated, "i'm too old for this sh*t" -- that is, too old to be on tears that, tho clean & sober in my case, involve too-long hours, not enough sleep, performing w/hysterical, sometimes near-berserk exuberance, then shouting & having ears screamed into in order to "chat" in crowded bars & nightclubs... & then there are the cigarettes. i don't have the nicotine jones like my dear ex-hubby or wbj do, thank the great pumpkin, but i do have a thing for greens, finding them strangely sensual. i dunno. do "loves" ever make sense intellectually? at least immediately? not for me... those dang cool menthol death sticks: they're like that bad, bad good-looking man...
- so anyways, i sits here in the wee hours of morn & should be in the sack, but now that i'm finally starting to feel better, am hoping maybe to roll up on another creative wave, even if it's a just a mini-one, just ride it a little ways before being dumped back on the shores of mundanity (not sickness again, tho, please, no)...
- oh gosh, how boring has this post become? bleh. love to all. something deeper, more intellectual, more creative, more entertaining next time, maybe... for now, another dumb blablabla now draws to its close.

gud jul & L7 over x in the snow: true love is the devil's crowbar; he hung me with the endless rope; you will always subtract your arms from my arms

-> (sometimes on here stuff seems sort of in code, to protect people's privacies, not to deliberately obfuscate, but i recently heard the latter's how it can come off, so if you don't know it, the above translates as "happy new year from frazier park," followed by lyrics from the terrific LA '80s punk-roots-art band X, who wrote a lot about the world's social injustice, but also about love-torture. the heart IS a lonely hunter. and often wounded & hungry, too.)
-> my former future-ex-husband (i've given up) phil alvin will serve as master of ceremonies for the gene taylor blues band's new yr's eve show this friday nite at LA's redwood room. gene'll be backed by the original blasters, for pete's sake. here's an article about this going-to-be-incredibly-awesome show, at which i will not be. yeah, should just kill myself & get it over with, but've been doing this spiritual practice lately, yknow, so just won't... plus (it IS some consolation, tho gene'll be back in belgium by then) will get to see most of these fellas @ the elvis birthday bash, art fein's annual super shindig, art fein of hollywood, that is, our manager in name, man about tinseltown, gadfly, scribe, hopeful malcontent w/love of music so fervent, bet it overrides his hatred of sloppy language (don't read this, @), art whose green corduroy jacket i finally shall return in hope-not-too-dog-haired & wrinkled condition...
-> lately my thing is to miss it all, like a bizarro world art. for instance, a blasphemy: x played the other night @ the crystal palace, but in my bones i knew i just had to get home to the mtns, so no estaba.
-> my sister reported they played the entire los angeles album, then at least 3-4 songs from every other. after i finished throwing up, i got back on the phone. "billy zoom looked perfect," she cooed, "& afterward john doe & exene were out in the lobby signing autographs but i couldn't go up to him!! i was too scared!!" i recalled to her 1st time mtg phil alvin being that way, shaking like the leaves on the trees... brian p, good guy, grabbed me & pushed me up to phil, who kissed my hand & recited a poem. bp took pix; in them, i look like maybe i just had a fit, sort of spacy & goony. wish i'd been @ x cause would've done the same for my sis, shoved her up there so she'd have a photo memento.
-> what else? candye kane's & tom yearsley's party. that'll be a super gas. a SUPER GAS!! and I WAS INVITED!! (me & 1,000 others, that is.) then there's another party in simi valley where was told i even could sit in, but they'll be playing '80s & the friend who invited me & even is playing it is not excited about it... 3 musical event possiblities... i mean, jeez.
-> what's wrong w/me?!? such a stick in the mud. we only live once, right? but lately am in a space where 1) my spirit's doing well; 2) therefore don't have thoughts of head in oven; & 3) wanna keep it that way. really, something about the music just makes me come unhinged. can't do halfway: it's love or barf! that's fine when close to home so a person can slip out, or is surrounded by brothers & sisters so can come down safely. but all the aforementioned events'll be in the southland. that leaves me alone after the ball drops & therefore maybe headed for lonesome town & maybe even dangerland. so trying to be wise, this hermit's gonna miss it all this auld lang syne. but will hope to see the ball drop, anyhow, at some cozy place, & usher in 2011 soberly... be you sober or not, @ 12 am on jan 1, may you be safe & happy.
-> prudence, wisdom, chickenness? feh. no se importa. why'd i even write all this? maybe you face similar indecision, worry about being uncool, missing out, life leaving you behind. but how can we be cool if we're dead? the health of one's soul must come first. then fun, then coolness, then kicks. as a person i know says, "i have spoken."
-> drew a full house @ the goodwill recently, picking up john doe's roadside prophets, juke logan, & exene's old wives tales on cassette - 25 cents each! so happy for my antiquated av gear, which allows such deals. yes, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! feliz ano nuevo!! so for 2011, here's some x lyrics:
-> absence makes the heart grow fonder / so i never want to see you again / i'm wrecking the kitchen carefully / but i'm keeping your dinner warm...
... as well as their sort of new year's song:
-> year one little babies, year one on their tvs, no a.d. b.c. a.d. patriotic people sleep in washington d.c., waiting waiting waiting, they don't feel a thing, no dolls no debutantes, no desperate living class, no roman catholic mass, no magazines no tv, no r.c.a. no g.e., year one in our history, year one in society, they're waiting for the son, for any son to come, year one you're on, i'm one
(in fine: brilliant niece on the world ending in 2012; read this imagining a teenage voice dripping w/sarcasm: "the mayan calendar is a circle. assuming a circle has a beginning OR end, which it does NOT, people, what would you do when it ends? YOU START OVER. i imagine if the ancient mayans hadn't been wiped out, they'd've made a new calendar starting at 2012... but there ARE NO ANCIENT MAYANS ANYMORE. and IT'S A CIRCLE, PEOPLE!")

dusk devils, gallows to graves this saturday night!!

it's gotta be R&R music if you wanna dance w/me

or even if you don't, which i recommend if you wanna save your toes. unless you like to pogo or twist, since i don't remember the two-step & b doesn't dance & the good male leads i know are in smellay (well, except philbert, but we can't play & dance at the same time, i'm just not that good), so i ain't gonna be relearning any steps anytime soon...
likely i'll post 18,000 times more before these shows, but just got the 1st flyer from markymark & made 2nd last night. whoopee! :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "BIG MANNY"!!!!! :) :) :)

sat set list, county fair fun, birthday bashes

woohoo, am i excited!! not only is the kc fair starting this wk, i get to do my one-wmn act this wkend! i need to stop exercising so much, tho... it's darn tough to drum w/shin splints!!! tammy's party's gonna be great - she sent funeral-style invites instead of bd party-type ones, & everyone's wearing black! she & hubby byron are feeding basque food to all invitees! then me, 3 chord whore, byron & hard rock, & more music. brent milton's doing sound. all in all, yahoo!
here's my lucky-13 set list: 1) ready teddy; 2) mercy; 3) googoo muck; 4) mean mean man; 5) rock house; 6) running scared; 7) tearin' my hair out; 8) rock boppin' baby; 9) fujiyama mama; 10) heartbeat; 11) me & my chauffeur blues; 12) funnel of love; 13) railroad bill.
next mo, my childhood bud kris(ti), who 12-stepped me so long ago & helped save my life, will hit her big bd, too, but her bash is at a socal yacht club... that same wkend, i'll go record with frank lee sprague in "noho" (haha - that makes me laugh near as much as "we-ho")! fls is quite a talent, writing all from rootsy americana to classical, award-winning. here's his site: http://duckking1.tripod.com/ ... i know frank'll do me up right & know just what sound i'm looking for. wow!!!!
last wk was the la fair w/the chinese acrobats (donna & i were in the 1st row!! i couldn't even watch in some parts -- too hair-raising!) & this wk our fair will have cinnamon rolls, rides, lights, music, exhibits, kettle corn, smells, people, hay,... oh, is there anything much better than a county fair????? i'm happy & expectant, but autumn does that, don't it? :) be toujour gai, like mehitabel sez...