Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
so full...
what a golden problem, wanting to eat more due to all the delicious food in this house, yet being so full i can't fit one more bite in my mouth. this was the best thanksgiving ever, tho we didn't get to the pie run. james's new snazzy shoes of last night put the hurt on one of his feet & therefore would've impeded his running stride, anyways. we got into bakersfield at 5:10 am & the run was to start at 6 am & we were exhausted & it was cold outside, so oh well... yesterday's harp blowdown in long beach was pretty cool, co-hosted by james & bubba jackson. i did will call/tickets w/jill from oc marketplace & decided tho i liked cheering at people who came in & seeing various smiling faces & even organizing stacks of tickets & lists in front of me, i don't wanna do that job anymore cause i didn't see much of the show & james & i missed each other for the part of the show when we couldn't hang out cause of our respective tasks... i was thinking it'd be like at a stage play where you do will call til curtain time, then close down til intermission. (billy watson laughed w/recognition when i confessed this error.) i would've loved to see billy play, but there'll be a next time, i think. as-is, i got to stand sidestage w/my handsome husband & watch rick estrin's set up til he left the stage & let his young band take over, able & talented musicians, but not eccentric, dapper, funny & classy rick estrin... james was greeted with love & hugs & backslaps all night long; people were confused, even bewildered, & certainly very disappointed that he was emceeing but not playing music! over & over & over, fans & friends wailed, "you're not PLAYING?? why not??" ... anyways, james looked like a million bucks & came over from backstage to visit me at will call at one pt, his eyes full of light, happy to be seeing so many, many old friends, musician & non... we lit out in the mid of night & i hit the most comfortable bed in the world here at mom & dad's while james took pix of the night sky w/his new camera. today has been a wonderful & happy scene of family, family, family, most of blood, many of choice, & the bustle of preparing the cheery house for thanksgiving, then plate after plate of delicious food over loud & loving conversation & playing music at the piano as various ppl rotated in to sing, me crying some while cousin mary frances sang or just at the touching heartfelt lyrics of some carols, then james singing a bit, then the "thanksgiving bocce bowl," as cousin mitchell called it, w/doug & james howling & yelling & cracking everyone up for hours, the two hyper, hilarious, loving brothers-in-law putting on a show all the time to entertain us all... then we played some board games & sat around some more & visited & caught up & rested & now i'm still too full to eat another bite. that's not just a golden problem, i now realize, but a luxury one. if you had enough to eat today, like me, be thankful.
... appreciation to jimmy lee for the photo above...
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
"we have been cured from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body…"
- there's this thing called emotional equilibrium that is like that part of a dream where you can see something in the distance, but can't ever reach it… i've been feeling all over the place: whee! sob! wah! (with gratitude, with sadness, etc) argh! hahahhaa! sigh! etc… i initially never know how to reconcile a world in which one minute i am happy with warm thoughts of christmas & the next, sickened & unable to clear images from my head after glimpsing online reference to a "man" who [i have erased what he did bc it is too revolting; this pathetic excuse for a human is no "man" for what he did, & why are women so often on the receiving end of disgusting violence????]... what is a person with any feelings supposed to do in such an insane world??
- i know dad long ago decided the middle path was the way… i know highly emotional people who take meds to gentle the ride… then some self-medicate… then some just give up.
yes, it's a crazy, mixed-up world. i know the brave & wise way is to shoot for the middle, letting events roll off one's back like water off a duck, but man…
- anyways, i hated even to mention the horrid monster who committed the above act (not to mention, come to think of it, the piece of sh*t who videoed the murder!!!!), but i hope voicing it'll help me be rid of that mental picture. i know the world's filled with suffering… but a video of a particularly atrociously vile pig in action?? why is that online???? (no, i didn't watch it; that it exists is heartbreaking enough.)
- i have one of those visual minds that replays bad scenes, even ones imagined. are you like that, too??? i obsess & obsess & obsess: the big book calls it the "magic, magnifying mind." another passage: "we must be careful not to drift into morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to ourselves and others"… glad to be reminded of that centering phrase. it does make total sense. i'm no good to anyone when caught in the horror movies in my mind… better to play a song, or meditate, or try to help someone, or read, or exercise, or talk to a trusted friend or loved one, or go to a meeting. i am grateful right now for tools & the sometimes-wherewithal to use them, even with a soul crushed repeatedly at news of the suffering of fellow humans, especially other women in this viciously patriarchal world…
……..
- good heavens. what now? a person who knows much at all about this world must be brave, callous, or well-balanced to survive day by day, i think...
……..
[20 minutes later…]
- where there is dark, there is light: james just called & he bore good news. in fact, potentially huge, gigantosaurusly enormous good news may on the horizon… be you a prayer or not, thank you for sending him kind thoughts!
- btw, if you wish to watch something really, really cool, look up online orson welles' paris interview, & additionally, the BBC special about him that was published in the early '80s. both are fascinating. welles didn't go to college; he cast aside a scholarship to harvard to instead travel the world. he was a self-made genius, a misunderstood maverick, an articulate & (in later life) self-effacing & thoughtful renaissance man… there's another tool for combatting the blues of the world: learn about interesting people, their words & their lives!
- there's a bunch of other good stuff coming up, too, actually, like the harp blowdown tomorrow, wednesday, at the golden sails on pch in long beach, ca. james will co-host with bubba jackson of kkjz. he says it's an enormous event. this'll be my first time attending (& working); all i know is, i love the suit he's gonna wear tomorrow night! after that, we load up & head for bakersfield in dead of night. we're gonna do the turkey trot or phantom pie run or whatever its name is at 6 am on thanksgiving morning out at hart park! yaaaaaaaaay!!!! then is thanksgiving with the ginormous family & then next week at harvelle's, my dear old friend manuel is going to be the special guest for the kid ramos benefit. i hope to get a poster soon to put up here... i think that's about it except that i got a part-time job & i'm so happy: didn't realize how much i missed working, fulfilling a purpose in that way. the ppl there are hard-working & friendly; it's a very sociable & bustling place & i'm grateful to get to pretend i'm a human being & learn new skills while there… well, that's it for now except that hope you watch & enjoy our silly lovely stupid christmasy video below & if the boogy man jumps up on you, brush him aside & keep going forward.
- i know dad long ago decided the middle path was the way… i know highly emotional people who take meds to gentle the ride… then some self-medicate… then some just give up.
yes, it's a crazy, mixed-up world. i know the brave & wise way is to shoot for the middle, letting events roll off one's back like water off a duck, but man…
- anyways, i hated even to mention the horrid monster who committed the above act (not to mention, come to think of it, the piece of sh*t who videoed the murder!!!!), but i hope voicing it'll help me be rid of that mental picture. i know the world's filled with suffering… but a video of a particularly atrociously vile pig in action?? why is that online???? (no, i didn't watch it; that it exists is heartbreaking enough.)
- i have one of those visual minds that replays bad scenes, even ones imagined. are you like that, too??? i obsess & obsess & obsess: the big book calls it the "magic, magnifying mind." another passage: "we must be careful not to drift into morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to ourselves and others"… glad to be reminded of that centering phrase. it does make total sense. i'm no good to anyone when caught in the horror movies in my mind… better to play a song, or meditate, or try to help someone, or read, or exercise, or talk to a trusted friend or loved one, or go to a meeting. i am grateful right now for tools & the sometimes-wherewithal to use them, even with a soul crushed repeatedly at news of the suffering of fellow humans, especially other women in this viciously patriarchal world…
……..
- good heavens. what now? a person who knows much at all about this world must be brave, callous, or well-balanced to survive day by day, i think...
……..
[20 minutes later…]
- where there is dark, there is light: james just called & he bore good news. in fact, potentially huge, gigantosaurusly enormous good news may on the horizon… be you a prayer or not, thank you for sending him kind thoughts!
- btw, if you wish to watch something really, really cool, look up online orson welles' paris interview, & additionally, the BBC special about him that was published in the early '80s. both are fascinating. welles didn't go to college; he cast aside a scholarship to harvard to instead travel the world. he was a self-made genius, a misunderstood maverick, an articulate & (in later life) self-effacing & thoughtful renaissance man… there's another tool for combatting the blues of the world: learn about interesting people, their words & their lives!
- there's a bunch of other good stuff coming up, too, actually, like the harp blowdown tomorrow, wednesday, at the golden sails on pch in long beach, ca. james will co-host with bubba jackson of kkjz. he says it's an enormous event. this'll be my first time attending (& working); all i know is, i love the suit he's gonna wear tomorrow night! after that, we load up & head for bakersfield in dead of night. we're gonna do the turkey trot or phantom pie run or whatever its name is at 6 am on thanksgiving morning out at hart park! yaaaaaaaaay!!!! then is thanksgiving with the ginormous family & then next week at harvelle's, my dear old friend manuel is going to be the special guest for the kid ramos benefit. i hope to get a poster soon to put up here... i think that's about it except that i got a part-time job & i'm so happy: didn't realize how much i missed working, fulfilling a purpose in that way. the ppl there are hard-working & friendly; it's a very sociable & bustling place & i'm grateful to get to pretend i'm a human being & learn new skills while there… well, that's it for now except that hope you watch & enjoy our silly lovely stupid christmasy video below & if the boogy man jumps up on you, brush him aside & keep going forward.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
"all right, mr. demille, i'm ready for my close-up…"
- james has this great camera & crap, you almost can see our corpuscles here!
- that reminds me of the classroom scene from "monkey business":
groucho: what is a corpuscle?
chico: that's easy. first is a captain, then is a lieutenant, then is a corpuscle.
groucho: why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
- that reminds me of one of most clever musical rhymes this side of chuck berry:
louis jordan: if you're a p-v-t, your duty / is to salute to l-i-e-u-t... (g.i. jive)
- i could go on, but i won't.
groucho: what is a corpuscle?
chico: that's easy. first is a captain, then is a lieutenant, then is a corpuscle.
groucho: why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
- that reminds me of one of most clever musical rhymes this side of chuck berry:
louis jordan: if you're a p-v-t, your duty / is to salute to l-i-e-u-t... (g.i. jive)
- i could go on, but i won't.
the boob tube
last night my husband wasn't feeling well so we did something unusual & lay in bed & watched the roku. we don't watch much tv, tho i think james used to watch more & i've gone thru periods of indulging in the boob tube. when you don't watch much tv & then you do, it can be pretty fun, like going to an amusement park. well, maybe not that fun, but kinda fun, even sometimes pretty fun, you know??
the problem is, i often quickly realize that no matter how many channels, there is NOTHING TO WATCH, or what options there are are brain- or soul-rotting. forget it!!!
our folks purchased a roku 3 & have been really happy w/it. roku 3 gives them endless nerd educational tv viewing options. my roku 1, the cheapest model, too, of course, has less such programming possibilities, but i'm happy enough w/it cause if i had more viewing options, i'd just sit on my butt & watch more tv instead of being active in my own life.
in my family, when we were kids, we were restricted to 1 hour a day of tv, & before that, it was 2 hrs a week, seems to me; i remember our parents having my sister & i go through the tv listings in the newspaper to plan what we'd watch, then we'd show it to them & they'd circle "our shows" & put them on the fridge. unimaginable today, maybe! - at the least, highly unusual, tho maybe it was back then, too!… i recall when i was a teacher that the few children who watched little tv were the more imaginative, even unusually imaginative students.
that's kind of a big "duh," now that i think about it: of course, they were!
so maybe mom & dad were right to keep us off the dummy box. i know there are mutants like james, who probably could have spent 24 hrs a day in front of the tv & still turned out unusually imaginative, but for average kids like me, we didn't need that stupefying influence… yes, i think what saved me was reading: i know our main family activity was going to the library, which of course was free! we were poor, so thank goodness mom & dad were bibliophiles: instead of lamenting about how poor we were, they'd just take us to the library twice a week!
anyways, that's sure a sign of getting older, isn't it?, endlessly reminiscing about one's childhood...
james & i, laying there on his sickbed, tried to find, with not much luck, the charlie brown holiday shows from our early '70s youth, then watched some videos about ultra runners such as dean karnazes & the tarahumara of mexico's sierra madres, then a piece about the grueling badwater ultra in death valley. lunacy! then we struck gold, stumbling upon the orson welles' paris interview. wow! the show lost audio about half through, which can be a problem when running a roku in a household filled with other internet-dependent devices, so i found a near-three hour show about welles & we started on that one.
tried to make it as far as "touch of evil," my favorite welles movie, but fell asleep when they'd barely gotten to "lady from shanghai." then i had a stupid nightmare in which james jumped from a 4-story platform as i watched! then i couldn't find him & one of our friends was telling me, "you know james: he probably faked it to get attention!!" i woke up still trying to find him & there he was in the bed, snoring calmly. i was mad for a minute, realizing the dream had come from something i'd seen in the welles biography, the penultimate scene in "the stranger" (SPOILER ALERT) where welles's nazi villain is impaled upon the clock tower soldier's sword & falls to his death.
damn dreams!!!
the upswing is, i got to cuddle up with my husband for a while, that is until middle-aged aches & pains & desire for coffee forced me to leave that warm bed.
the problem is, i often quickly realize that no matter how many channels, there is NOTHING TO WATCH, or what options there are are brain- or soul-rotting. forget it!!!
our folks purchased a roku 3 & have been really happy w/it. roku 3 gives them endless nerd educational tv viewing options. my roku 1, the cheapest model, too, of course, has less such programming possibilities, but i'm happy enough w/it cause if i had more viewing options, i'd just sit on my butt & watch more tv instead of being active in my own life.
in my family, when we were kids, we were restricted to 1 hour a day of tv, & before that, it was 2 hrs a week, seems to me; i remember our parents having my sister & i go through the tv listings in the newspaper to plan what we'd watch, then we'd show it to them & they'd circle "our shows" & put them on the fridge. unimaginable today, maybe! - at the least, highly unusual, tho maybe it was back then, too!… i recall when i was a teacher that the few children who watched little tv were the more imaginative, even unusually imaginative students.
that's kind of a big "duh," now that i think about it: of course, they were!
so maybe mom & dad were right to keep us off the dummy box. i know there are mutants like james, who probably could have spent 24 hrs a day in front of the tv & still turned out unusually imaginative, but for average kids like me, we didn't need that stupefying influence… yes, i think what saved me was reading: i know our main family activity was going to the library, which of course was free! we were poor, so thank goodness mom & dad were bibliophiles: instead of lamenting about how poor we were, they'd just take us to the library twice a week!
anyways, that's sure a sign of getting older, isn't it?, endlessly reminiscing about one's childhood...
james & i, laying there on his sickbed, tried to find, with not much luck, the charlie brown holiday shows from our early '70s youth, then watched some videos about ultra runners such as dean karnazes & the tarahumara of mexico's sierra madres, then a piece about the grueling badwater ultra in death valley. lunacy! then we struck gold, stumbling upon the orson welles' paris interview. wow! the show lost audio about half through, which can be a problem when running a roku in a household filled with other internet-dependent devices, so i found a near-three hour show about welles & we started on that one.
tried to make it as far as "touch of evil," my favorite welles movie, but fell asleep when they'd barely gotten to "lady from shanghai." then i had a stupid nightmare in which james jumped from a 4-story platform as i watched! then i couldn't find him & one of our friends was telling me, "you know james: he probably faked it to get attention!!" i woke up still trying to find him & there he was in the bed, snoring calmly. i was mad for a minute, realizing the dream had come from something i'd seen in the welles biography, the penultimate scene in "the stranger" (SPOILER ALERT) where welles's nazi villain is impaled upon the clock tower soldier's sword & falls to his death.
damn dreams!!!
the upswing is, i got to cuddle up with my husband for a while, that is until middle-aged aches & pains & desire for coffee forced me to leave that warm bed.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
waaaaaaaaaaahhhh
our cousin mary frances posted this article on facebook. i was drawn to the disconcerting image of the teenaged boy in repose, his face looking as if he's in an anxious dream: is he… dead??
yes.
if you are not moved by this article, well… … heck, i don't know what to say. http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/diy-death-natural-home-funerals
last night i was blubbering, too, 1st while james & i watched the movie "the dallas buyers club," then after finishing rabbi harold kushner's "living a life that matters." this slim book had the biggest impact on my spirit since i read "man's search for meaning" by viktor frankl many, many years ago. i could go on & on about its main ideas: god having twin aspects, a mother's love (unconditional) & father's (earned); struggle being what makes us human, our human task (that's what i wrote in my thesis years back, come to think of it - certainly not a unique idea, but not one i remember commonly when i'm kicking myself for being human); the "seductive pleasure of getting even;" integrity; and, finally, what DOES ultimately make us matter, most all of us who'll never find cure for disease or lead a nation or have a tv show or be rich or famous or of renowned respect or even infamous…
here are the final paragraphs of the book, which i so urge you to read:
"…in the final analysis, the key to my immortality, the reassurance that my life has mattered and was not lived in vain, is not that different from the key to yours or anyone else's. i find it in the work i have done, the acts of kindness i have performed, the love i have given and the love i have received, the people who will smile when they remember me, and the children and grandchildren through whom my name and memory will be perpetuated. i have cherished, and i would commend to you, the words of ralph waldo emerson: 'to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -- that is to have succeeded.'
"The Talmud records this exchange between two of the sages:
"'our ancestor jacob never died.'
"'how can you say that? The Bible describes him as dying in egypt and being buried in hebron.'
"'a good person, even in death, is still alive.'"
yes.
if you are not moved by this article, well… … heck, i don't know what to say. http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/diy-death-natural-home-funerals
last night i was blubbering, too, 1st while james & i watched the movie "the dallas buyers club," then after finishing rabbi harold kushner's "living a life that matters." this slim book had the biggest impact on my spirit since i read "man's search for meaning" by viktor frankl many, many years ago. i could go on & on about its main ideas: god having twin aspects, a mother's love (unconditional) & father's (earned); struggle being what makes us human, our human task (that's what i wrote in my thesis years back, come to think of it - certainly not a unique idea, but not one i remember commonly when i'm kicking myself for being human); the "seductive pleasure of getting even;" integrity; and, finally, what DOES ultimately make us matter, most all of us who'll never find cure for disease or lead a nation or have a tv show or be rich or famous or of renowned respect or even infamous…
here are the final paragraphs of the book, which i so urge you to read:
"…in the final analysis, the key to my immortality, the reassurance that my life has mattered and was not lived in vain, is not that different from the key to yours or anyone else's. i find it in the work i have done, the acts of kindness i have performed, the love i have given and the love i have received, the people who will smile when they remember me, and the children and grandchildren through whom my name and memory will be perpetuated. i have cherished, and i would commend to you, the words of ralph waldo emerson: 'to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -- that is to have succeeded.'
"The Talmud records this exchange between two of the sages:
"'our ancestor jacob never died.'
"'how can you say that? The Bible describes him as dying in egypt and being buried in hebron.'
"'a good person, even in death, is still alive.'"
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
"they're coming to get you, barbara…"
just felt like writing that.
this desktop is sticky. probably with foodstuff. i believe i know who the culprit to be...
today as i wait for music tonight at harvelle's, i have gone for a job interview, taken back the rental car, talked to family, put on some laundry, goofed around online, spent far too long chopping things up to put in the crockpot for potato soup.
when i was a kid/teen (oh, i'm sure this is reiteration on this blog: oh well), making-dinner-time was my piano practice time. years ago, aunty rita gave me a refrigerator magnet that read "i kiss better than i cook."
i'm not sure that's true, tho it's a tad giggle-worthy, still...
the secret is…….ssssshhhhhh……. i am able to cook. i just prefer not to. but sometimes, like when there's a bunch of foodstuff laying around & i know i can fulfill that particular niche/task & promote the cause here (family unit), i cook something. i take little pleasure in washing the food, chopping it up, arranging it, putting it on stovetop/in oven/in crockpot/microwave/etc, having to pay sufficient attn that it doesn't burn or boil over or set the domicile on fire. then comes the task of cleaning up after cooking (actually, i like that part best). there are at least 20 things i'd rather do! so i treat cooking like washing the car or vacuuming or going to the dmv or paying bills or some other tedious but important-in-a-reasonably-civilized-life task…
i know that cooking is considered to be an art, evidenced by the way mama & angie cook as well as many others i know in civilian life here, & people who cook, like people who garden, create for others' pleasure & are therefore generous artists, & i know that chefs & cooks who've achieved celebrity, well, many of them are quite interesting, even fascinating! that reminds me: i should finish julia child's book, where she speaks a bit about having been a british spy… see? fascinating! who'da thunk?
anyways, the soup is cooking right now & i had pb toast & coconut juice & now i'm wondering: what else shall i read? what's playing at the gym? wonder if there're any good meetings today?
this really isn't such a bad life, this chapter.
onward & upward! may you be grand.
Monday, November 18, 2013
brrrrrrblllllleeeegggghhhhh!!!!!
don't usually take codeine cause it makes me retch, but i took a 1/2 here at the folks' house cause my neck's all stoved up, contrary to what my salty aunty rita said, not cause of anything fun. my chest feels funny & throat cottony & tight, but my neck's not hurting like it was & i don't feel any barfy feeling rising, so all's well. mama, our niece & i were having a conversation about drinking & drugging earlier as we washed dishes -- sort of feeling niece out as well as cautioning her -- we determined there's a family predisposition to problems w/such things as well as that our niece will likely be ok in that dept cause she's got her head pretty firmly screwed on shoulders. she's made big personal growth in the last yr as a human being; super-bright, she's more & more each time we see her turning into such a thoughtful & kind young woman, leaving behind the island dad has mentioned, the one on which teenagers should be exiled til they learn to be human...
the last many days have been a roiling rollercoaster of events w/visit down at the beach pad from our folks & many great meals & nice conversation & james took dad to meet dave hayden & i took mama to the bookstore & then next day we took them to see some of their mentors, fine, talented, hearty, spry ppl who were some of the 1st to settle as uc irvine faculty. over a splendid hungarian meal, we heard how mr huzti's people never have to pay taxes "in perpetuity" cause in olden times his ancestors had driven back the huns on a crucial hungarian pass! we also watched a local production of "fiddler on the roof" & i again blubbered during the prayer song, as shirley w from bksfld might say, feeling "more than a little verklempt."
the next day went from bad to terrible to the worst ever in the history of james & jenny page, but we were rescued emotionally by our folks w/their reasonable & loving wisdom. long story short, we took my truck & a luxury rental to the gig in taft, me w/mom & dad on a lovely drive admiring sky & mountains, james leaving later at 90 mph w/fractured foot, having needed to both fix his amp & obtain triage (insert political statement about u.s. health care, soon to be improved, i think, tho there will be much i-hope-only figurative bloodshed in the process)... we met angie & doug at the ot cookhouse & had happy conversation & hearty delicious fine food, then i took off for the club to load in. my set at the oasis was romping stomping jumping fun; we were stretching cause james wasn't yet there, so i added in "mean mean man" & locked in w/max on this little richard kinda slamming groove that was a flipping thrill!! "we're a punk band now!" i exclaimed. james rolled in shortly &, even on sore foot, put on one helluva show! he adjusted the lyrics in spots to sing to the family, to their delight. that night at the room, we rested little but had important conversation while james ate all the leftovers... next morn we woke to the hotel banging on the door: oops! we had hearty breakfast & many cups of joe at the oasis, then i sat at the house piano while james sang "chains of love" & that old piano just soared around my fingers! we caravanned to bakersfield, showered at mom & dad's, then were off to o'hennessey's in oildale, at the old skylark by the old airport, where james & the fellows put on an even MORE awesome show than at the oasis, to packed house of jaws dropped in amazement, all the folks who'd never seen james up til then... feeling a little peaked, i donned james's overcoat & spent the eve admiring the band's muscular power, the crowd's wild approval, & observing a lot of schoolyard behavior coming out of adult bodies. people both nights were very nice but very drunk, resulting in much regression! -- at least i THINK maybe booze/drugs was the excuse -- can't be fo sho!
today's been family & food & resting & playing some music here at the family house... excited that james & i might go back as a couple to a show i got to be in for 7 yrs & a few others things, too, but for now, this sloppy post'll have to do... no pix right now cause mama's little laptop won't allow it. oh well! the world'll keep spinning, i think. :)
the last many days have been a roiling rollercoaster of events w/visit down at the beach pad from our folks & many great meals & nice conversation & james took dad to meet dave hayden & i took mama to the bookstore & then next day we took them to see some of their mentors, fine, talented, hearty, spry ppl who were some of the 1st to settle as uc irvine faculty. over a splendid hungarian meal, we heard how mr huzti's people never have to pay taxes "in perpetuity" cause in olden times his ancestors had driven back the huns on a crucial hungarian pass! we also watched a local production of "fiddler on the roof" & i again blubbered during the prayer song, as shirley w from bksfld might say, feeling "more than a little verklempt."
the next day went from bad to terrible to the worst ever in the history of james & jenny page, but we were rescued emotionally by our folks w/their reasonable & loving wisdom. long story short, we took my truck & a luxury rental to the gig in taft, me w/mom & dad on a lovely drive admiring sky & mountains, james leaving later at 90 mph w/fractured foot, having needed to both fix his amp & obtain triage (insert political statement about u.s. health care, soon to be improved, i think, tho there will be much i-hope-only figurative bloodshed in the process)... we met angie & doug at the ot cookhouse & had happy conversation & hearty delicious fine food, then i took off for the club to load in. my set at the oasis was romping stomping jumping fun; we were stretching cause james wasn't yet there, so i added in "mean mean man" & locked in w/max on this little richard kinda slamming groove that was a flipping thrill!! "we're a punk band now!" i exclaimed. james rolled in shortly &, even on sore foot, put on one helluva show! he adjusted the lyrics in spots to sing to the family, to their delight. that night at the room, we rested little but had important conversation while james ate all the leftovers... next morn we woke to the hotel banging on the door: oops! we had hearty breakfast & many cups of joe at the oasis, then i sat at the house piano while james sang "chains of love" & that old piano just soared around my fingers! we caravanned to bakersfield, showered at mom & dad's, then were off to o'hennessey's in oildale, at the old skylark by the old airport, where james & the fellows put on an even MORE awesome show than at the oasis, to packed house of jaws dropped in amazement, all the folks who'd never seen james up til then... feeling a little peaked, i donned james's overcoat & spent the eve admiring the band's muscular power, the crowd's wild approval, & observing a lot of schoolyard behavior coming out of adult bodies. people both nights were very nice but very drunk, resulting in much regression! -- at least i THINK maybe booze/drugs was the excuse -- can't be fo sho!
today's been family & food & resting & playing some music here at the family house... excited that james & i might go back as a couple to a show i got to be in for 7 yrs & a few others things, too, but for now, this sloppy post'll have to do... no pix right now cause mama's little laptop won't allow it. oh well! the world'll keep spinning, i think. :)
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
i know why i do what i do be do be do
(all quotes from carl jung)
- In my case Pilgrim's Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I could reach out my hand to the little clod of earth that I am.
- As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.
- Follow that will and that way which experience confirms to be your own.
- The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
- Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious.
- There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
- Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
- Our heart glows, and secret unrest gnaws at the root of our being. Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
- In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
- Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
- Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
- Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
- We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
- Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
- Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
(please talk amongst yourselves.)
- In my case Pilgrim's Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I could reach out my hand to the little clod of earth that I am.
- As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.
- Follow that will and that way which experience confirms to be your own.
- The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
- Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious.
- There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
- Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
- Our heart glows, and secret unrest gnaws at the root of our being. Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
- In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
- Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
- Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
- Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
- We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
- Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
- Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.
- Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- The man who promises everything is sure to fulfil nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition.
- If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect. The judgement of the intellect is only part of the truth.
- The wine of youth does not always clear with advancing years; sometimes it grows turbid.
- Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.
- Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better.- Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- The man who promises everything is sure to fulfil nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition.
- If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect. The judgement of the intellect is only part of the truth.
- The wine of youth does not always clear with advancing years; sometimes it grows turbid.
- Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.
(please talk amongst yourselves.)
Sunday, November 10, 2013
"after the storm, our love is gonna rise…"
james went visiting, so i decided to start laying down demos for my proposed CD. i have 14-15 songs in mind, mostly in order, so i did the first one, one he calls "old-timey," using the cajon drum box he got me for our anniversary. it produced a heartily satisfying thump! my snare's at the mountain home, so i just added sticks & high-hat, then piano part & "bass," which was fun to experiment with, finally vocals. james came back just as i finished, so he listened thru headphones, breaking into a strut, which tells me the tune moves. i'm so happy when recording; the hours fly by & i'm lost in musical & creative reverie. "let me know if i can help you," he said, but the thing is, i tend to write parts & arrange as i go… the other night we on-the-fly ended up debuting our duo for a pilot (in more than one way) audience. the group of about 10 men was quite happy, gracious & enthusiastic; james & i walked away with more cash than we would've with the whole band on a weeknight! i really liked how james sang "when i get like this," the 5 royales tune we both so love; he belted it out so beautifully!… maybe we'll do it again. i hope so. right now we have a poll going on facebook asking for requests for duo name. some responses, most being plays on "page," are quite funny!
meanwhile, i hope before the eve's over to do a quick demo for a tune i wrote yesterday… happy sunday & tomorrow, thank you to all you vets, foremost for me (wouldn't you know it) james.
meanwhile, i hope before the eve's over to do a quick demo for a tune i wrote yesterday… happy sunday & tomorrow, thank you to all you vets, foremost for me (wouldn't you know it) james.
Friday, November 08, 2013
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
pix & interview from whiteboy james's first european tour
we added three videos to james's youtube channel. you can see them here: whiteboy james's youtube channel
here, too, are a few collages from our recent trip to europe. tschüss!
here, too, are a few collages from our recent trip to europe. tschüss!
Saturday, November 02, 2013
crabby crabby crab crab
we're back after the longest plane trek!!! the 1st plane had a panoply of tv, movies, & games, but none of that can stop your butt from hurting after too much sitting! we got to the u.s. & sadly saw that american airport service is pretty poor compared to europe's -- we nearly missed our connection in dulles dc due to having to wait on bags for nearly an hr! overall, tho, this place didn't look too bad stacked next to the beauty of europe, tho here there are way, way too many cars & too much cheap processed food & too much stupid shopping, but you know, gotta take the good with the bad, so anyways...
this a.m. i woke with a headache, feeling positively weird in a not-pleasant way, but it's just jetlag, i know: no need to freak out. james was in a good mood upon awakening, dancing around having a bop-it session (my gift to him for our anniversary; he got me a cajon drum box), then we went for a hamburger, really appreciating like we never have chuck berry's song "living in the u.s.a." when his burger was et, james proclaimed, "now i feel like an american again." we like the music at this particular burger joint (skyliners, dominos, lenny welch, platters) & nostalgic posters of hawaii & agree all the time that chuck berry is a genius & anyone who doesn't agree, i say, or says anything remotely like "oh, i can play all that chuck berry stuff," therein not referring to chuck berry with appropriate deference & respect, is a total bozo.
sorry about my crabbiness; i need a nap. he took off to go visiting & at some point we need to unpack our bags before they petrify and/or putrify, but for now it's time for me to get some rest, & i'm grateful to have time to get some. i was gonna conclude this post w/the tagline from "team america," but i'll leave it for you to recall on your own.
america.... .... ...
this a.m. i woke with a headache, feeling positively weird in a not-pleasant way, but it's just jetlag, i know: no need to freak out. james was in a good mood upon awakening, dancing around having a bop-it session (my gift to him for our anniversary; he got me a cajon drum box), then we went for a hamburger, really appreciating like we never have chuck berry's song "living in the u.s.a." when his burger was et, james proclaimed, "now i feel like an american again." we like the music at this particular burger joint (skyliners, dominos, lenny welch, platters) & nostalgic posters of hawaii & agree all the time that chuck berry is a genius & anyone who doesn't agree, i say, or says anything remotely like "oh, i can play all that chuck berry stuff," therein not referring to chuck berry with appropriate deference & respect, is a total bozo.
sorry about my crabbiness; i need a nap. he took off to go visiting & at some point we need to unpack our bags before they petrify and/or putrify, but for now it's time for me to get some rest, & i'm grateful to have time to get some. i was gonna conclude this post w/the tagline from "team america," but i'll leave it for you to recall on your own.
america.... .... ...
Thursday, October 31, 2013
wilkommen aus deutschland!
james has been going over like gangbusters here. people say they've never seen anything like him. two encores each night! i've even gotten compliments when he calls me up to sing with him, the one i wrote after we first hung out. "you sure know how to do cute," blake laughed. "they just love you!" i don't "do"cute as much as, i think, have my family's friendly, polite, kinda weird temperament, which might come off cute. still, it was a nice compliment.
i feel fortunate to've gotten to go on the trip as james's personal assistant & bundini. i mean, i'm not part of the band; i just got to go, which is pretty cool! still, he's blown up madder as a hornet many times & sent me home about 100!! "oh no," smiled scott. "you're coming next time, too." james has smoothed out a lot over the course of the trip as it has proved to be so hugely successful. he wrote me a card thanking me for accompanying him, & i'm pretty happy about the possibility of another adventure. "things can only get better," as he wrote in a song not yet in his repertoire, "when you're with me." i can see these european tours will be lucrative for james; he's gonna be big over here real quick, if he just holds it together, & he says he will! it's all up to james, as most of what happens, for those of us privileged to grow up without huge want or war or strife, is up to us each.
the group's made up of me, the band, & road manager willsie, who's also our tour guide & a historian of sorts! now & then i wish there were another female along to chat with, but oh well: i'm happy for the funny & big-hearted company; they're a good bunch of fellows, for sure. we're loading up to leave for switzerland right now, a halloween show at a showcase place near the swiss alps. then tomorrow morn buttcrack early it's back to the states, where, tho europe has so many advantages by comparison, we can't wait to be again!
shows have been at the friendly café de weegbrug in netherlands, where we climbed 3 flights of tiny, narrow staircase after the show to our little beds. "is this where anne frank stayed?" joked max bangwell, to the matronly owner's puzzlement. they fed us like kings & queen & standing at the cozy bar, we enjoyed cup after cup of heavy, fragrant european coffee w/sugar & crème. in the morn, we got delicious fresh eggs fried on a square of bacon atop white bread. yum!
next was dark, long bar blue devils, beside an abandoned military barracks in a small alley through the windy cobblestoned streets of arras, france; the proprietor, herve, a large tough-looking fellow, embraced james heartily & repeatedly, so much did he love the show, feeding us beforehand from big bowls of french fries, french bread, & a thick, wine-flavored stew ("a meal fit for digging ditches all day," i said). after that was a grueling 12 hr slog to altdorf, south germany; we rolled out the van with tired james swearing a blue streak cause it had been one long-a** day, but the clean, well-lit, 50s-themed club hosted the most wonderfully happy show, with the band banging it out to cheering, dancing crowd & large honeymoon-suiteish room awaiting us that night & next morn, sumptuous german breakfast spread of cheeses, glass jars filled with fresh jams, hard bread, fresh yogurts, & thin, thin sliced black forest ham in beautiful airy breakfast room, its whitewashed walls typically bavarian, that is, painted with german greetings & bucolic scenes.
the last show, in the black forest, required another endurance drive, albeit willsie took us the scenic route on country roads bordering austria, then france to view the bodensee & verdant vineyards & fields & dark trees & thick forest resembling both grimms' tales as well as the black hills of the u.s.a. i missed the show cause i got sick, but it was the most popular of all, with standing-room only & loud, friendly late-night partying for the band. i laid there on the bed flashing in & out of consciousness, worrying, "they must be tired - they messed up that song!" then realizing, no, they're just fine: YOU ARE SICK! next, "oh crap, i love that song; i'm missing it!" so it was an outstanding time for the band, not so great for me, but oh well. next morning i was greeted just like part of the family with another great breakfast that featured a "real german egg," prepared by the kitchen, soft-boiled, egg so fresh, the yolk stood dark & plump before being plucked by spoon.
that day willsie took us to both a castle & treiburg, "the biggest tourist town in bavaria," he explained, where we bought an inexpensive cuckoo clock to celebrate our recent 1st anniversary as well as other knick-knacks & then had pizza from an italian-run joint & i liked my margarita pie, wood-oven baked, quite well. at night we rolled into willsie's 4000sf house, spacious, w/gleaming ornate floors & walls bearing paintings of hawaii, from whence the family migrated, & in morning woke to beautiful view out his back picture windows, view of forest & trees, much greener than at our mountain home, & he says there's a hawk's nest up there someplace. i went out in the cold & watched a black bird with orange beak & white crest hopping in the bushes, pecking for a morsel. willsie took us all for a few hrs of touristing in stuttgart & james & i went solo, having a grand time exploring the schlossplatz, which willsie explained was most infamous for photos of hitler & his army parading upon. the swastika that once topped the train station has been replaced by a mercedes symbol, the schlossplatz now a one-mile pedestrian shopping mall. james happily ate his way thru the train station, then up & down the schlossplatz as we looked in stores & at people & statues & museums, tho we didn't go in the last. what a fun time. :)
this morning, i decided to go for a jog & got spectacularly lost amidst the corn- & other fields. it was a cold, cold morning & it felt great to finally run again, but i got more than i bargained for & ended up shin-deep in frozen grass for quite some time, my path even obscured at one point by a giant seeming-dung pile! finally i got directions from a nice young woman who pointed me to the "street where the americans live." i was so grateful to get back here!!! now we're off to pick up max, & then it's the last show, & ain't life grand? :D :D
pictures will come soon, once we're back to california. be well, & hope you've enjoyed reading this little report. auf wiedersehen!
i feel fortunate to've gotten to go on the trip as james's personal assistant & bundini. i mean, i'm not part of the band; i just got to go, which is pretty cool! still, he's blown up madder as a hornet many times & sent me home about 100!! "oh no," smiled scott. "you're coming next time, too." james has smoothed out a lot over the course of the trip as it has proved to be so hugely successful. he wrote me a card thanking me for accompanying him, & i'm pretty happy about the possibility of another adventure. "things can only get better," as he wrote in a song not yet in his repertoire, "when you're with me." i can see these european tours will be lucrative for james; he's gonna be big over here real quick, if he just holds it together, & he says he will! it's all up to james, as most of what happens, for those of us privileged to grow up without huge want or war or strife, is up to us each.
the group's made up of me, the band, & road manager willsie, who's also our tour guide & a historian of sorts! now & then i wish there were another female along to chat with, but oh well: i'm happy for the funny & big-hearted company; they're a good bunch of fellows, for sure. we're loading up to leave for switzerland right now, a halloween show at a showcase place near the swiss alps. then tomorrow morn buttcrack early it's back to the states, where, tho europe has so many advantages by comparison, we can't wait to be again!
shows have been at the friendly café de weegbrug in netherlands, where we climbed 3 flights of tiny, narrow staircase after the show to our little beds. "is this where anne frank stayed?" joked max bangwell, to the matronly owner's puzzlement. they fed us like kings & queen & standing at the cozy bar, we enjoyed cup after cup of heavy, fragrant european coffee w/sugar & crème. in the morn, we got delicious fresh eggs fried on a square of bacon atop white bread. yum!
next was dark, long bar blue devils, beside an abandoned military barracks in a small alley through the windy cobblestoned streets of arras, france; the proprietor, herve, a large tough-looking fellow, embraced james heartily & repeatedly, so much did he love the show, feeding us beforehand from big bowls of french fries, french bread, & a thick, wine-flavored stew ("a meal fit for digging ditches all day," i said). after that was a grueling 12 hr slog to altdorf, south germany; we rolled out the van with tired james swearing a blue streak cause it had been one long-a** day, but the clean, well-lit, 50s-themed club hosted the most wonderfully happy show, with the band banging it out to cheering, dancing crowd & large honeymoon-suiteish room awaiting us that night & next morn, sumptuous german breakfast spread of cheeses, glass jars filled with fresh jams, hard bread, fresh yogurts, & thin, thin sliced black forest ham in beautiful airy breakfast room, its whitewashed walls typically bavarian, that is, painted with german greetings & bucolic scenes.
the last show, in the black forest, required another endurance drive, albeit willsie took us the scenic route on country roads bordering austria, then france to view the bodensee & verdant vineyards & fields & dark trees & thick forest resembling both grimms' tales as well as the black hills of the u.s.a. i missed the show cause i got sick, but it was the most popular of all, with standing-room only & loud, friendly late-night partying for the band. i laid there on the bed flashing in & out of consciousness, worrying, "they must be tired - they messed up that song!" then realizing, no, they're just fine: YOU ARE SICK! next, "oh crap, i love that song; i'm missing it!" so it was an outstanding time for the band, not so great for me, but oh well. next morning i was greeted just like part of the family with another great breakfast that featured a "real german egg," prepared by the kitchen, soft-boiled, egg so fresh, the yolk stood dark & plump before being plucked by spoon.
that day willsie took us to both a castle & treiburg, "the biggest tourist town in bavaria," he explained, where we bought an inexpensive cuckoo clock to celebrate our recent 1st anniversary as well as other knick-knacks & then had pizza from an italian-run joint & i liked my margarita pie, wood-oven baked, quite well. at night we rolled into willsie's 4000sf house, spacious, w/gleaming ornate floors & walls bearing paintings of hawaii, from whence the family migrated, & in morning woke to beautiful view out his back picture windows, view of forest & trees, much greener than at our mountain home, & he says there's a hawk's nest up there someplace. i went out in the cold & watched a black bird with orange beak & white crest hopping in the bushes, pecking for a morsel. willsie took us all for a few hrs of touristing in stuttgart & james & i went solo, having a grand time exploring the schlossplatz, which willsie explained was most infamous for photos of hitler & his army parading upon. the swastika that once topped the train station has been replaced by a mercedes symbol, the schlossplatz now a one-mile pedestrian shopping mall. james happily ate his way thru the train station, then up & down the schlossplatz as we looked in stores & at people & statues & museums, tho we didn't go in the last. what a fun time. :)
this morning, i decided to go for a jog & got spectacularly lost amidst the corn- & other fields. it was a cold, cold morning & it felt great to finally run again, but i got more than i bargained for & ended up shin-deep in frozen grass for quite some time, my path even obscured at one point by a giant seeming-dung pile! finally i got directions from a nice young woman who pointed me to the "street where the americans live." i was so grateful to get back here!!! now we're off to pick up max, & then it's the last show, & ain't life grand? :D :D
pictures will come soon, once we're back to california. be well, & hope you've enjoyed reading this little report. auf wiedersehen!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
ruh-roe, blabla, whiteboy!
... a bag i need for carry-on for tomorrow's plane is at the mountain house. ruh-roe. it'll be ok.. i just gotta improvise, gotta get back being to the organized flake i was before, 'stead of the just plain flake i've slid into being... i know how to be organized. SUPER-organized! i know i'm still organized to some degree, having two households & such with neither yet having fallen into the san andreas fault/ocean, but being in a new family (1 yr now!) requires compromise all around. i've compromised by letting things go here & there, which is hard for a borderline-ocd like me! -- it's more realistic, tho, to choose one's battles. towels on the ground, trash missing the trashcan, don't flip out, jenny. pick it up or let it be. arggghh!! ... aaaah...
as we drove back from the mister toad's wild ride saturday events, i was recalling how some years, my super-organized anal personality produced a class of organized, happy, whip-smart, super-quick, on-the-ball little rascals. some years, tho, my demands for perfection (at least in the eyes of the child, or in the eyes of some parents) just brought loggerheads & frustration...
oh well. i no longer teach. in fact, i do very little, it feels like, compared to my old life. a few years of it was ok, but i'm kinda getting sick of being semi-retired... am hopeful when we return from europe, i'll get on some of the back burner projects. who knows: after europe, things might blow up real big for james in a very positive way! he might get too slammed-busy to do anything except be whiteboy james & ride that wave as long as it's cresting! for me, i like being the support cast. yes, if our lives were a movie, james'd be the star & i'd be a character actor in the background... i've always preferred being the background, even being a sometimes band leader. i like twisting knobs & shoveling coal in the engine. that's probably a delusion of control, too, a great & powerful oz kinda i'm-in-control illusion, but it suits me better to be part of the engine, not the train itself.
being married to the train, well, at times it means step back & admire its force & beauty; at times it means stand back!!, & at times it means hit the switch so we don't have a derailment!!
back to me, at very least, when we get back, i'm gonna start making decent recordings of the many, many songs i've written. where to go next? if not a helping profession like teaching or library or some such, songwriting, maybe. maybe publishing, tho now that i wrote that, i realize i don't want to publish: i just want to write. except layout, i dislike every other element required to produce a publication!! ... maybe voice acting. boy, would that be swell! maybe visual art, cartooning, say... now how to combine all that? that would be the cake, all right!
saturday was a sometimes miserable, sometimes lovely, seemingly-unending series of drives, 1st to guadalupe, where i, then james took the stage for the salad bowl fest in that pretty little seaside town. then more driving on more windy pretty road to taft for a birthday party for a very appreciative lady who turned 60! then more driving, more driving to the mountain home & finally, ahhh: waking up to the sight of the mountain & blessed quiet. we finally got back here & had our 1st anniversary yesterday & james finally got the bop-it toy he's been wanting for years. it's an annoying but funny gadget, like simon for hyperactives. he said with a big grin he's bringing it on the plane. nooooo!!! -- however, it would be funny if he pulled that contraption out on the plane... i hope, meanwhile, to rest on the plane as well as finish the book mama lent me, "the singular pilgrim" by rosemary mahoney, which tells of the religiously-skeptical author's six pilgrimages to sites such as lourdes, varanasi, & the holy land... it's extremely thoughtful & well-written & i recommend it highly... in europe this next week, hope we get to take a day trip to some roman ruins near the swiss-german border & see as many other sites as possible in our short time & that we sell lots of halloween CDs (we ran out of t-shirts, dang it!!) & that james KICKS BUTT!!!! here's a promo i made for him. hope you enjoy it. now back to packing...
as we drove back from the mister toad's wild ride saturday events, i was recalling how some years, my super-organized anal personality produced a class of organized, happy, whip-smart, super-quick, on-the-ball little rascals. some years, tho, my demands for perfection (at least in the eyes of the child, or in the eyes of some parents) just brought loggerheads & frustration...
oh well. i no longer teach. in fact, i do very little, it feels like, compared to my old life. a few years of it was ok, but i'm kinda getting sick of being semi-retired... am hopeful when we return from europe, i'll get on some of the back burner projects. who knows: after europe, things might blow up real big for james in a very positive way! he might get too slammed-busy to do anything except be whiteboy james & ride that wave as long as it's cresting! for me, i like being the support cast. yes, if our lives were a movie, james'd be the star & i'd be a character actor in the background... i've always preferred being the background, even being a sometimes band leader. i like twisting knobs & shoveling coal in the engine. that's probably a delusion of control, too, a great & powerful oz kinda i'm-in-control illusion, but it suits me better to be part of the engine, not the train itself.
being married to the train, well, at times it means step back & admire its force & beauty; at times it means stand back!!, & at times it means hit the switch so we don't have a derailment!!
back to me, at very least, when we get back, i'm gonna start making decent recordings of the many, many songs i've written. where to go next? if not a helping profession like teaching or library or some such, songwriting, maybe. maybe publishing, tho now that i wrote that, i realize i don't want to publish: i just want to write. except layout, i dislike every other element required to produce a publication!! ... maybe voice acting. boy, would that be swell! maybe visual art, cartooning, say... now how to combine all that? that would be the cake, all right!
saturday was a sometimes miserable, sometimes lovely, seemingly-unending series of drives, 1st to guadalupe, where i, then james took the stage for the salad bowl fest in that pretty little seaside town. then more driving on more windy pretty road to taft for a birthday party for a very appreciative lady who turned 60! then more driving, more driving to the mountain home & finally, ahhh: waking up to the sight of the mountain & blessed quiet. we finally got back here & had our 1st anniversary yesterday & james finally got the bop-it toy he's been wanting for years. it's an annoying but funny gadget, like simon for hyperactives. he said with a big grin he's bringing it on the plane. nooooo!!! -- however, it would be funny if he pulled that contraption out on the plane... i hope, meanwhile, to rest on the plane as well as finish the book mama lent me, "the singular pilgrim" by rosemary mahoney, which tells of the religiously-skeptical author's six pilgrimages to sites such as lourdes, varanasi, & the holy land... it's extremely thoughtful & well-written & i recommend it highly... in europe this next week, hope we get to take a day trip to some roman ruins near the swiss-german border & see as many other sites as possible in our short time & that we sell lots of halloween CDs (we ran out of t-shirts, dang it!!) & that james KICKS BUTT!!!! here's a promo i made for him. hope you enjoy it. now back to packing...
Thursday, October 17, 2013
James & Jenny Page at Kid Ramos Benefit at Harvelle's Long Beach
hey! look at this cool video the gals from seahorse music promotions made last night! the pix also are from them... thank you so much! this was the 3rd kid ramos benefit show, & the crowd turned out in healthy numbers in support. ... my husband looks terrific throughout, but then, he's a "future movie star," so i'd expect none less. :)
last night's show was different than i'd anticipated! that's what happens, tho, when one has expectations. it was my first time playing with max bangwell in many, many moons & i did my little set, glancing side stage during "the big g" to see a familiar rabbity grin: phil alvin standing there in greeting!... my set culminated w/james coming up to sing w/me, our good luck song, so to speak, which you see on this video. :) on break, i spoke a little with mr alvin, who wore awesome black alligator-looking boats he declared "still dusty from kernville." i must admit, i felt a bit noiiiiviss talking with phil by my lonesome; i'd hoped we'd all chat, him james & i, like in kernville. he grinned & told me, "you know, yer a purty good piano player," & my brain flew out of my head & i started stammering ridiculous things, blubbering & sputtering all over myself like a dumb bell... "baby, you gotta get over being so hard on yourself," said james later. "in this scene, you run into the same people over & over. and you're unusual: you're a REALLY NICE person. so of course people will wanna talk to you." i thanked james for the pep talk & also for placing me in the position to get musical praise from phil alvin, my musical hero for 30 yrs (read all about our relationship with phil in below post, if you wanna)... "don't thank me," he said. "you're GOOD. that's why he said that. he doesn't just throw out compliments. i remember the first time he complimented ME!"
blake watson was there & switched off with scott lambert so that james could come up next with full blues express & wallop the crap out of everybody. at one point, he started reciting from memory "dance of the freaks," the gasp-inducingly filthy & funny last track on our halloween cd. phil strolled out from backstage & surveyed the scene: "aah, the old toast," he commented wryly. at conclusion, either babalu or scott lambert called out at james, "pervert!" but "no, no," i said. "no pervert. more like a foul-mouthed choir boy." it's true: james is rough & tough & not someone to mess with, most definitely, & his act has been at times quite, quite prurient, giving people a false notion of his interactions with women (or as he'd say now, "woman"). he is healthy in love, true-blue, loyal, committed... what a refreshing & happy thing!! we agree we are rather eccentric, even strange people, but "weirdos," we've known many, but no, we are not!
i was outside smoking when james came out & said, "baby, he just dedicated 'border radio' to you!" arrrrgghhhh!! aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! more proof i shouldn't smoke!!!, i thought, running back inside... "he said from the stage, 'this goes out to jenny page, whiteboy james's wife. cute couple,'" james chuckled. wow! thought i, watching phil sing "border radio" in strong, clear, nimble voice. wow! phil & matt samia led that set, phil pulling out songs like "i'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you," "the big f chord," a joe turner medley, & a haunting, almost norteno-flavored "t for texas." "that was rugged," declared phil afterward, smiling, always a professional, said james, but the large crowd was happy & cheering & phil's singing & vernacular guitar-playing, well, james & i had stars in our eyes, jumping around & dancing at the soundboard, having a blast... we got home & ate tacos & marveled about how our lives are turning as we approach one year of marriage. then it was luck luck luck luck luck!!
today i volunteered at library & got dollar store stuff like sardines & peanut butter & aspirin for our trip & i've been making a james radio promo to send to european stations & later i run, but for now, i clipped a bit of "big blues train," then wrote a little script & had james voice over it, & it sounds so frigging invitingly cool!!! his time is coming; he's just gotta hold it together, & we know he will. he's been waiting, he says, his whole life for "this," & he's just too, too talented for his star to warm only this small area. he's gonna show what he's got to the world; however that plays out, i know he'll shine bright & wide...
one last pic from the seahorse gals, from last week. jane intveldt, who saw me perform for the first time that night, was really enthusiastic about what i do on stage! it's increasingly wonderful to see these women week after week, digging the show. when i was in bakersfield, that was one of my most favorite things, having women listeners & even fans. i had such a hard time for so many yrs with friendships with women. i know now it's cause i couldn't look at or like myself, so how could i like them? tho no glowing picture of self-confidence these days, i can say i like many, many people & definitely value female friends & acquaintances... some might say "keep your friends close & your enemies closer," but i say focus your attention on what is worthwhile: life is short; have fun, be useful, be grateful, & cherish your loved ones.
last night's show was different than i'd anticipated! that's what happens, tho, when one has expectations. it was my first time playing with max bangwell in many, many moons & i did my little set, glancing side stage during "the big g" to see a familiar rabbity grin: phil alvin standing there in greeting!... my set culminated w/james coming up to sing w/me, our good luck song, so to speak, which you see on this video. :) on break, i spoke a little with mr alvin, who wore awesome black alligator-looking boats he declared "still dusty from kernville." i must admit, i felt a bit noiiiiviss talking with phil by my lonesome; i'd hoped we'd all chat, him james & i, like in kernville. he grinned & told me, "you know, yer a purty good piano player," & my brain flew out of my head & i started stammering ridiculous things, blubbering & sputtering all over myself like a dumb bell... "baby, you gotta get over being so hard on yourself," said james later. "in this scene, you run into the same people over & over. and you're unusual: you're a REALLY NICE person. so of course people will wanna talk to you." i thanked james for the pep talk & also for placing me in the position to get musical praise from phil alvin, my musical hero for 30 yrs (read all about our relationship with phil in below post, if you wanna)... "don't thank me," he said. "you're GOOD. that's why he said that. he doesn't just throw out compliments. i remember the first time he complimented ME!"
blake watson was there & switched off with scott lambert so that james could come up next with full blues express & wallop the crap out of everybody. at one point, he started reciting from memory "dance of the freaks," the gasp-inducingly filthy & funny last track on our halloween cd. phil strolled out from backstage & surveyed the scene: "aah, the old toast," he commented wryly. at conclusion, either babalu or scott lambert called out at james, "pervert!" but "no, no," i said. "no pervert. more like a foul-mouthed choir boy." it's true: james is rough & tough & not someone to mess with, most definitely, & his act has been at times quite, quite prurient, giving people a false notion of his interactions with women (or as he'd say now, "woman"). he is healthy in love, true-blue, loyal, committed... what a refreshing & happy thing!! we agree we are rather eccentric, even strange people, but "weirdos," we've known many, but no, we are not!i was outside smoking when james came out & said, "baby, he just dedicated 'border radio' to you!" arrrrgghhhh!! aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! more proof i shouldn't smoke!!!, i thought, running back inside... "he said from the stage, 'this goes out to jenny page, whiteboy james's wife. cute couple,'" james chuckled. wow! thought i, watching phil sing "border radio" in strong, clear, nimble voice. wow! phil & matt samia led that set, phil pulling out songs like "i'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you," "the big f chord," a joe turner medley, & a haunting, almost norteno-flavored "t for texas." "that was rugged," declared phil afterward, smiling, always a professional, said james, but the large crowd was happy & cheering & phil's singing & vernacular guitar-playing, well, james & i had stars in our eyes, jumping around & dancing at the soundboard, having a blast... we got home & ate tacos & marveled about how our lives are turning as we approach one year of marriage. then it was luck luck luck luck luck!!
today i volunteered at library & got dollar store stuff like sardines & peanut butter & aspirin for our trip & i've been making a james radio promo to send to european stations & later i run, but for now, i clipped a bit of "big blues train," then wrote a little script & had james voice over it, & it sounds so frigging invitingly cool!!! his time is coming; he's just gotta hold it together, & we know he will. he's been waiting, he says, his whole life for "this," & he's just too, too talented for his star to warm only this small area. he's gonna show what he's got to the world; however that plays out, i know he'll shine bright & wide...
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
TONIGHT! WED OCT 19 2013
... me, jenny page with "the dusk devils express," then the great whiteboy james & the blues express, then the great phil alvin with whiteboy james & the blues express! ... all to help pay medical expenses for kid ramos, who is ill with cancer, all at harvelle's, downtown long beach, 9 pm-12 midnight... we are gonna put on a swell show for a worthwhile purpose. (poster is below under oct 2...)
having a lot of fun making videos with iMovie... the latest is called "god talks to james at 4 a.m." it's on the whiteboy james youtube channel. we improvised an enjoyable skit & i greatly enjoy doing that as well as experimenting with voices. i do hope that someday the voice acting thing comes together... guess i need to get my act together & actually send in audition audios. kinda like playing the lottery: can't win if you don't buy a ticket. godfrey daniels!
having a lot of fun making videos with iMovie... the latest is called "god talks to james at 4 a.m." it's on the whiteboy james youtube channel. we improvised an enjoyable skit & i greatly enjoy doing that as well as experimenting with voices. i do hope that someday the voice acting thing comes together... guess i need to get my act together & actually send in audition audios. kinda like playing the lottery: can't win if you don't buy a ticket. godfrey daniels!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
remembering to back it up slow
all is well. autumn has fallen upon the san joaquin valley, where we visit for the moment; it's the nicest time of yr around here. yesterday night on the mountain was freezing clean & cold; this morning brought beautiful peaceful blue skies & lovely mountain & quiet calm. mama & i just took cookies & banana bread over to aunty rita & aunty dodie. aunty rita fell & broke her foot & couldn't be at today's birthday party for sister angie. we heard some funny stories, many about when my aunts were young & drunk & loose, like about when aunty dodie got drunk one night & took off with a guy on a motorcycle & when they got to the stop sign, the guy's teeth flew out & he had to pull over to go get his teeth. aunty rita talked about dear departed "uncle" danny, james's smoking buddy. she said it took time for him to "get over his ways," like "learning to come home after work 'stead of staying out all night at the bar & visiting his friends. after a while, he told me, 'do-rita, i want to be home with you,' & that was that, he just started coming home." ... we got back here & james was sleeping soundly & dad was fixing the outside pool toilet, which overflowed today at sister angie's party: "too many butts," pronounced dad. my cousin mary frances & her brood are a good, solid, admirably happy & well-adjusted bunch; my sister is a good, kind, talented, capable person married to a loving, friendly barrelchested preacher. he & james get along splendidly because both wear their gigantic hearts on their sleeves... we miss them all, but i know eventually we'll have more time together, if we're meant to (what the heck did that mean?? oh well...)
at the party, i played piano rather laxly, in my tired state, & opened my eyes to see that a family friend of chubby, youthful countenance had pulled up a chair near the piano & was listening along, bobbing his head, his eyes closed peacefully... then 90-yr old don, who had been taking video of people at the party w/his new camera, shot me singing a wanda jackson song. he snapped off the camera with a grin & announced, "well everybody, look for this footage to be appearing soon on youtube!"
... last night we attended a nighttime football game on the frazier mountain w/friendly young family of james's; there & today, i've much-enjoyed watching & observing kids of various ages, from 3 to 16 & up (some of the "kids" are as old as 22... still kids, tho). kids are relatively unconvoluted, fresh, funny, interesting, ever-evolving, filled with promise, "not done yet," as mama has said, comparing young ones appropriately to baking bread. heck, with people of any age, positive development & growth require a big dose of patience & temperance toward ever-changing others & self. ... ... ... ... ... !!! .... in fact, think i wrote a whole thesis kinda on that idea about 5 yrs ago! yes, duh, i'm reminded a person "needs some space to back up a little bit at a time," said aunt rita. a person "can't just put it in reverse all of a sudden just like that."
... i texted the young man just now, to check in with him on behalf of his father & me, & received his reply, characteristically terse & polite: "all is well." since that's where i started, be it synchronicity or accident, i take it as my cue to end this transmission.
at the party, i played piano rather laxly, in my tired state, & opened my eyes to see that a family friend of chubby, youthful countenance had pulled up a chair near the piano & was listening along, bobbing his head, his eyes closed peacefully... then 90-yr old don, who had been taking video of people at the party w/his new camera, shot me singing a wanda jackson song. he snapped off the camera with a grin & announced, "well everybody, look for this footage to be appearing soon on youtube!"
... last night we attended a nighttime football game on the frazier mountain w/friendly young family of james's; there & today, i've much-enjoyed watching & observing kids of various ages, from 3 to 16 & up (some of the "kids" are as old as 22... still kids, tho). kids are relatively unconvoluted, fresh, funny, interesting, ever-evolving, filled with promise, "not done yet," as mama has said, comparing young ones appropriately to baking bread. heck, with people of any age, positive development & growth require a big dose of patience & temperance toward ever-changing others & self. ... ... ... ... ... !!! .... in fact, think i wrote a whole thesis kinda on that idea about 5 yrs ago! yes, duh, i'm reminded a person "needs some space to back up a little bit at a time," said aunt rita. a person "can't just put it in reverse all of a sudden just like that."
... i texted the young man just now, to check in with him on behalf of his father & me, & received his reply, characteristically terse & polite: "all is well." since that's where i started, be it synchronicity or accident, i take it as my cue to end this transmission.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh
on the other hand, james at 15 (hey! remember that show? you don't, 'less you're middle-aged. back then, i thought "james," played by lance kerwin, was quite soulful & cute, but he wasn't "real" either, far as i was concerned), james who's had his head in the ether but feet firmly planted, heard really cool music playing while at baseball practice, left practice, jumped a fence, snuck in an auditorium, & found himself watching the blasters from side stage. or something like that. the man has more stories than a whole compendium... the movie of his life will reveal some... what an amazing one he's already had, with so much more to come! anyways, he told me that when the blasters went on break, he went up & introduced himself; phil alvin gave him some sh*t, but took him under his wing & that led way to james being apprenticed by many famous roots musicians on the LA scene in the '80s, he & phil becoming fast & close friends... anyways, now we get to do a show with him. james, of course, has done many shows w/phil, & i sorta did if you count the elvis shows i used to do, on which blasters often headlined. but this'll be the 1st time we together've played on the stage w/phil.... that elvis show in 2010, that's where i first met james in the flesh, so there's that connection, too. he tells the story much funnier & sweeter than i do, so i won't... besides, that's far beyond enough blablablaing for now...
going to lie down now.
blaaaaaaaaaaaaah...
Sunday, October 06, 2013
"if you ain't right, you're goin' down there..."
- anyways, i think "jekyll and hyde" could be a hit! at least a modest hit in this american music genre we inhabit... something, anyways! yes, i'm better at song-writing than other artsy skills i enjoy, i think, & i figure eventually i'm gonna settle into songwriting & being a sideman, which i'm very happy about... so now i've got 6/7ths of the CD mastered after countless hrs of trying this & that (this was my maiden voyage on garageband; i'm pretty excited about it now, after all the initial tribulations & frustrations!)... just waiting for james to get home & record vocals for J&H, then the CD'll be ready to go!
- please email me or james if you are interested in getting a copy, "sure to be an underground sensation," said one of our friends. which is part of the reason she's our friend, you know. :)
Thursday, October 03, 2013
eat your greens...
we are playing this festival in a few wks before getting on the plane to europe. (wow!!!!) i was contacted by randy, a really nice fellow. my band the dusk devils played a few events for him out in the desert, where he then lived; at one, it was so hot, in the green room some ppl were betting on whether the elvis impersonator onstage at the moment would, decked out in black elvisy leathers, succumb to heat stroke or heart attack. (he didn't, fortunately...) we went on & the stringed instruments couldn't stay in tune, as happened to scott abeyta at the kern rock n blues fest last weekend... at another show promoted by randy, all i remember is i wore my green blingy skirt (it's at the mtn home right now, along w/most of my nicer show clothes) & was treated like a million bucks. folks at those shows were so hospitable & friendly; i'm looking fwd to this one! only been to guadalupe 1x, in my former life: it looked small, humble, amiable, with quite-pleasant climate...last night was the 1st show/"benefit" for kid ramos. i stomped out the funnest set yet cause i needed to get done to make way for headliners james & billy watson... the crowd was great! it was the most cheering & whooping i've gotten at harvelle's; "they love you, baby!" james said, & i did feel it & wow, how lucky am i?... billy watson is the most polite & light-hearted & genuinely humble person you could meet of such talent. he & james could be fast friends, & i hope they will do so... we oohed & yelled & aahed at the beautiful, subtle, skilled & melodious ways he played harmonica & laughed with wonder at his winning voice & lithe soulful gentlemanly performance. prior to billy hitting the stage, james went out & stormed it like a wolverine. he was funny & ferocious. billy came on & said, "hey! i just love whiteboy james! and aren't you glad he's on OUR SIDE?" james & i sat side stage & he looked at me & said, "see? he gets it." ... well, back to tracking halloween songs... we are nearing getting done -- it's gonna be a fun, fun little disc, i think! :D
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
super big huge gigantic immense enormous fun
billy folsom took these photos of us sidestage at the rock n blues fest saturday night, dancing & watching the blasters. we agreed it's the most fun we've ever had being out & about with a significant other... we can anticipate many more moons of such fun, along w/the speedbumps & average days that make up Life... :) i photoshopped out my monkey ear on the mid photo because... this is my blablablog & why the heck not?
i went to a mtg & james went to watch boxing at stevie's & now we're hanging out blablablabbing & writing/editing & recording music & enjoying the eve. soon will be sleepy time. tomorrow is another day, fiddle-dee-dee. remember to read the stoics or something spiritual that will lift your heart & that this week on bill moyers will be writer wendell berry. my folks had me watch bill moyers when we were in bako the other eve & i realized wendell berry sounds much like one of james's kentucky uncles... this past wkend, lisa cee told me that she loves my accent. i asked james & he said, "yes, you do have an accent. it's hard to put my finger on..." i've long-heard this, the mysterious accent comment, or remarks about my vocal pipes... anyways, there i go again on a tangent, so think i'll stop because ultimately no se importa! have a nice one & remember again to read something challenging & rewarding to your soul or brain or best, both...
Monday, September 30, 2013
kern river rock n blues fest weekend
after andretti-ing our way thru the windy kern cyn (at night! argh!), we rolled into kernville w/in 15 mins of downbeat. james jumped out, donned his trenchcoat, & swam into the fray to start his show. i beat it on up the hill to mcnally's, where we'd been put up to stay... mcnally's was a long drive, & i was tired after much driving. i found the proprietor & got our room, dressed in my WBJ t-shirt, & headed back to the club where i got to watch james & band, reunited w/the outstanding max bangwell on drums! it was a super-fun gig w/happy enthusiastic crowd. next morn i found james down by the kern river w/a stick in the water, smiling like a 10-yr old. "i almost caught a fish," he whispered. "but i forgot my bait, so i used a piece of candy!" the fish didn't bite, but james looked to have been enjoying himself for a while, fishing peacefully... that day we hung out at the room & watched an old doris day flick on the portable dvd player & ate some food, then dressed & headed down to kernville... the sun was beating the stage to death when james & blues express hit it. my hubby put on a rock-solid, 1000% percent performance, dressed to the nines in tuxedo jacket & skull tie from sister sherri. his damned bridge flew out on 1st song & he just kept going - what a pro! these mishaps happen here & there & he plows through! i didn't see it happen cause i was selling t-shirts, but at end of song, he knelt down & asked some of the older folks up front, "anyone got any polygrip?" then ran backstage while max played one, fixed his teeth, & jumped back up there & kept going. the audience, of course, loved him!... when james stepped down, lisa cee, now of NOLA, went up w/her professional soul set, then the blasters came up & slammed out a rocknrolling kickass headliner set!! i got nice pix of james & phil as well as me w/my "fellow alumnus" keith wyatt, but they are stuck in cyberlimbo for now... this reminds me harvelle's wednesday night shows starting this upcoming wk will be fundraisers for kid ramos' medical expenses -- first wk's special guest will be BILLY WATSON! after that, pink arguello, & after that phil alvin! these will be especially terrific whiteboy james shows, w/such added star power & musical prowess... james & i danced & danced sidestage while the blasters played; he is super-fun, as you'd imagine, to dance with! we stuck around to "soak up the evening," then were back up the mountain to the room for a while... sunday morn i went for a long hike, scared off the 1st & 2nd paths by the remoteness of the 1st & giant animal crashing thru the bushes of the 2nd. the terrific views of golden flowers, verdant mountainsides, azure sky & crashing river put me in a grateful mindframe & i was able to be calmed & become again grounded in What Is Real... en route back, i crawled under a tree beside the rushing river, sat on some cool rocks, & meditated for a bit, nearly lulled to sleep, but caught myself before somnolence succumbed to slumber. when i got back, a jam session was going, so i took a long shower & dragged my butt out to it. i was gonna play for my friend tammy, but she had to head back, so i just sat there, kinda grateful to get to do only that. james was worn-out exhausted by this time in the wkend, but he got up there & kicked butt again, playing some of his rarer tunes in ragged raw full-voice w/his always-storming energy... we headed back toward bakersfield, landing at mom & dad's warm & friendly dinner table & then tumbled into the soft clean bed... time to head back now; may you be wise & well, or at least one, if not both.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
yay!!!!!!
today i got on a roll & did super-funky start of home recording... garageband has all this automated this & that, looped musical parts, but very little like what james and i play. so i'm taking the down & dirty approach. i used his laptop pad & a kick drum pedal & hair brush to record scratch kick drum, then figured out song changes using youtube, then recorded scratch keyboard parts after adding some scratch vocals where i needed to for placement... so when we get back from running errands, we can start having james lay down some vocals, first getting an optimum vocal level (i didn't worry about that since my vocals were scratch)... i love home recording!!!! we are gonna make this halloween little record! yay!~
Monday, September 23, 2013
"don't you think i'm psycho, mama? ... well, you better lock me up..."
this week we work on a halloween cd... seven songs, i think, beginning with fun & spooky, ending with fun & filthy! we need to put a "parental advisory" on it for the last cut, an old toast which james has committed to memory & will recite. we will both have the fun of garagebanding the musical parts, then adding in vocals & some piano/harmonica/acoustic guitar as needed. then the real fun: adding the foleys!!!... i already made the cover & it's taking a lot for me not to post it here. i've tended in past to put out projects on the quick, seat of the pants style. but i'm waiting... james says to wait, so i will... it'll likely come out better that way, anyways. meantime, here's a cool graphic tommy middaugh sent us, to get all in the halloween spirit... so what are you up to for halloween, btw? boooooooooooooooo!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
blablablablabla etc.
last night we left harvelle's kinda early cause it was a slow night, but when our heads hit the pillows, i couldn't sleep! too excited about the great day we'd had, the swell interview we got to do with pat graham on his blues highway radio show; how mom and dad got to watch/listen to it online live; how proud i felt to be there with james, his voice sonorous in the studio, the friendly callers jockeying to talk w/him just to tell him how much they love him & his music; pat's compliments to james & to me/us about his standing as "the best band leader in southern california" & how we "wear [our] hearts on [our] sleeves" & that people "love to see that kind of love;" how nice pat graham was & how he played "big blues train," james's composition that i love so much; our friendly restaurant meals of nachos for lunch & pizza for dinner; my neighborhood run, & even on a full stomach of nachos, i felt strong, rebuilding my endurance!; a lot of good reading i got to do yesterday (& this morning!); seeing smiling scott lambert at harvelle's & being blessed w/wonderful words from people who were there that night to watch the show... one of james's friends, a burly older man who didn't look prone to such warm statements -- but then, what do i know? -- said, his eyes shining, "you are amazing! you and james are a match made in heaven..." i can only say "thank you" for this lovely day...
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
on the radio, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, on the radio...
i can't help it. i really like donna summers' voice. might be because i was a lonely kid in the 70s. her haunting voice just moves me, & i spose did back then, too, in an engramming kinda way (haha! i speak scientology! btw, have you seen "the master"? great film, now one of our faves...). anyways, we have some embarrassing emotional musical loves, both of us, just from memories & life experiences. i thought the most embarrassing musical love of my youth was the beegees, whom my cousin & sister & i just adored cause we were "that age" when the shriekingly overly-polished brothers gibb were popular... then james proceeded to sing all kinds of beegees songs from memory, knowing even more lyrics than i could remember cause he's got a memory for words like that... he made me feel not so embarrassed. :) then i told him about my donny osmond phase, when i was a girl, & he told me he'd taken his sister to a DO concert... so this is the kind of redemption one gets when w/a life partner of compatible chronology!
i mention the radio cause james is gonna be on this eve, wednesday, 6:45-7:30 or so, before our show at harvelle's! here are links: Visit our website www.klbc.org Follow us www.twitter.com/klbcradio and Watch LIVE BROADCASTS http://www.ustream.tv/user/KLBCLB
i am especially happy cause we'll be on a ".org"... ... today we went & had nachos & i'd already had a bagel, so i'm sitting here typing away trying to digest so i can go for a run before we pack up for radio- & music-land... today scott abeyta told me more about europe, places we'll go, more details, & i am really starting to feel excited: really, what is there to be blue for at this moment? what a life. for shows james & blues express have so far, check his website calendar at www.whiteboyjames.com ... he told me, "you're gonna be part of the show, too, baby," which is thrilling to think about, but that'll be lagniappe, should it happen. between now & then, i'm gonna get the hustle on to get us out a halloween CD to sell between now & then. we both love, love, love halloween. i've got track listings in mind & just am waiting for a mike so i can start laying down piano & vocal tracks, then give it to james to sing on before mixing it down, then packaging & pressing it... lots of good music news, in other words! jolly good to you, & here's to another day...
i mention the radio cause james is gonna be on this eve, wednesday, 6:45-7:30 or so, before our show at harvelle's! here are links: Visit our website www.klbc.org Follow us www.twitter.com/klbcradio and Watch LIVE BROADCASTS http://www.ustream.tv/user/KLBCLB
i am especially happy cause we'll be on a ".org"... ... today we went & had nachos & i'd already had a bagel, so i'm sitting here typing away trying to digest so i can go for a run before we pack up for radio- & music-land... today scott abeyta told me more about europe, places we'll go, more details, & i am really starting to feel excited: really, what is there to be blue for at this moment? what a life. for shows james & blues express have so far, check his website calendar at www.whiteboyjames.com ... he told me, "you're gonna be part of the show, too, baby," which is thrilling to think about, but that'll be lagniappe, should it happen. between now & then, i'm gonna get the hustle on to get us out a halloween CD to sell between now & then. we both love, love, love halloween. i've got track listings in mind & just am waiting for a mike so i can start laying down piano & vocal tracks, then give it to james to sing on before mixing it down, then packaging & pressing it... lots of good music news, in other words! jolly good to you, & here's to another day...
Friday, September 13, 2013
oh, i wish i was an oscar meyer weiner, that is what i'd truly like to be, for if i were an oscar meyer weiner, everyone would be in love with me...
that was a test. if you knew that song, you are of A Certain Age. it taught all us kids at that time use of the subjunctive, even if we didn't know that's what it was called (& who needs to know nowadays, anyways? except that the subjunctive is the coolest of all tenses, i think!: the "what if?")... i was dreaming about being in a car with my family & james & a big, big wave was crashing over the car as we kept driving, probably related to beautiful surfing videos we watched in eatery yesterday when our conversation went frm hawaii to hell. then he & i were driving right to the edge of a deep, deep canyon & i was saying, "look, honey, look!" & we both were scared & vertiginous (i just wanna use that word!!), but we were gonna go down in that deep, deep canyon to see what we could see! then i was following exene into a bookstore... i didn't talk to her, but she was talking about honky-tonk music & then there i sat at a piano, playing some moon mullican... obviously i'm no lucid dreamer cause i only ever get snippets like i just wrote down, but the next thought is this: how DID a weenie like me marry such a tough man? that man is tough as nails, w/a mouth that'd make a sailor cry & the sometimes ferocious pugnacity of a fighter (which he was). but he's also sweet as a puppy. sincerely! i relate cause i'm either gidget/mary poppins or a blubbering lump of want-to-die. the moods shift like earthquakes, like tsunamis! yesterday, i just LOST IT! i was all alone, so i could really let it rip, let those demons fly! but from that particularly violent mental crash came sweet release & calm & then we had an afternoon & eve of total love & adventure... we headed out for a benefit/tribute up north, but had mechanical failure & our plans were dashed. we were disappointed, but mama said, you can only do what you can do, & you can't do everything... yes, i feel different today. do you ever need to really lose it to gain it back even stronger? a weenie's gotta get cooked & burst some before it's really good eating. i know that metaphor makes little sense, but james is real good at them, & i'm working on it by osmosis. ok, now that i'm ready to serve, time to go for a run. yes, this weenie likes to run. good day or eve, sir or ma'am.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
whee!
woke too early after too little rest so my hubby & i could play music for several hrs... he'd been up all night like he does, the man w/the energy of a troop, but it was a happy night for him, he said, listening to music & reading the good news... we played & played & actually developed some strong harmony parts! then i spent several hrs on his gigs & t-shirt orders & networking & europe gigs/fishing for more... at bottom of this post are some links. "i've been waiting for this my whole life!" he smiled. "thank you, baby!" am grateful to feel appreciated, tho his upcoming tour's sure not solely my doing, & no amount of networking would work if james & his music weren't so strong. i believe in james's talent & charisma, as would anyone w/half a mind & heart: he's a white-hot flame of american music & he's gonna set europe on fire w/excitement...
1. (we're 3rd down): guadalupe salad bowl festival;
2. (i like how this site lists our free weekly show at harvelle's...) some of wbj's shows in europe
3. (this'll be a halloween to remember!) baden, switzerland's nordportal
1. (we're 3rd down): guadalupe salad bowl festival;
2. (i like how this site lists our free weekly show at harvelle's...) some of wbj's shows in europe
3. (this'll be a halloween to remember!) baden, switzerland's nordportal
Monday, September 09, 2013
the black dog don't bite me, but he sure likes to sneak up in my lap & try to suffocate me...
sometimes nothing lifts the blues except music. the tough part is, when one's really down low, it's hard to even hear songs in the brain, let alone move the limbs & mouth to make the music happen. i don't know how humans with life-baggage (all of us?) live into ripe old age w/o cleaning out that luggage, throwing out the old stuff that no longer fits or is useful, exposing what's kept to some fresh air or a good warshing... today some sad memories hit me hard & i couldn't avoid or shake them: they hit me like a huge gust of evil wind or a wallop & knocked me flat. james tried to air me out, & we did pick up our kick drum pedal & look at craft store stuff, but i remained knocked flat. it's that underwater, in a fog, floating & sinking, suffocating, can't hardly stand up can't hold a clear thought thing... back here, fortunately, i was able to get to the piano finally & shake out some songs &
... feel life draining, seeping, slipping back in... again... here's to a new dawn, a new day, the passing of yet another storm, or at least i can see beyond the black on the horiz to when it will pass... here are pix from lately, our beautiful visit w/beautiful family & beautiful mountain town & beautiful retreat place i visited & other life stuff, ah, life life life, while we have it, here's to lapping it up like melted chocolate ice cream or a well-needed quaff of cool cool water.
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
so happy!
today's spirits have been aided by 1) exercise at gym i visited for the first time: i love going to the gym! 2) checking in w/woman friends; 3) husband got new dental work! 4) his medicine was affordable! 5) we ate delicious croissants before his surgery; 6) last night i wrote two songs, & they're good ones! 7) today i'll go to a meeting; 8) i read from one of my favorite books, earth prayers from around the world, in the dentist's office! the book is a treasure that i here again recommend... 9) (from aforesaid book):
just to be is a blessing.
just to live is holy.
- rabbi abraham heschel
and
10) this world is the abode of god,
and god truly lives in the world.
-guru angad
just to be is a blessing.
just to live is holy.
- rabbi abraham heschel
and
10) this world is the abode of god,
and god truly lives in the world.
-guru angad
Monday, September 02, 2013
how are you? como estas? come stai? comment allez-vous?
just finished a puzzle (from the NYT, even!) that was so hard & mentally-intensive for me, it made my heart jumpy & me anxious. but i finished it!! my brain still works. just read an article that says the brain begins to degenerate at around age 27; near-20 yrs later, i guess i should be grateful i'm not drooling & still can control my bodily functions! (that isn't a poor joke, i hope, but realization!) anyways, i've been reading all morn, catching up on magazines, learning a bit here & there, which i love to do (even if i'm a middle-aged person doomed to brain-failure)... i want to do duolingo, on which i've been practicing the romance languages of italian, french, & spanish. i've finally figured out if i go from hardest (french) to easiest (spanish), i do better. i think it's complementary, also fun, to do all three at once. the day i tried to add in german, i had a mental hardware-drive crash, so no more german... least for now! i have to wait til james awakens to do duolingo cause it's kinda like a video game, w/active audio requiring one to parrot back & figure out words & sentences... so i'm gonna go for a run, which'll not just smooth out my anxieties, but give time for husband to wake!
... too, i no longer am a laborer, but if you are, happy labor day to you! on the backs of workers has this great country been built... also, by the sweat of labor unions do we (i mean, you) now enjoy a 5 day, rather than 7 day, work week. honest labor is honorable & can bring meaning. may your work bring you a sense of purpose & fulfillment, as teaching did me for so many years, despite its many frustrations!
... too, i no longer am a laborer, but if you are, happy labor day to you! on the backs of workers has this great country been built... also, by the sweat of labor unions do we (i mean, you) now enjoy a 5 day, rather than 7 day, work week. honest labor is honorable & can bring meaning. may your work bring you a sense of purpose & fulfillment, as teaching did me for so many years, despite its many frustrations!
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