cabeza & ancianos

re cabezas, i am attempting to reprogram mine. his has been asleep a lot lately. rest is restorative, so i think he's reprogramming, too, ursine, hibernating, rejuvenating for spring.
he sculpts more & more, always heads. i find that cool cause when i used to draw in near-photographic fashion, i was fascinated, too, by human heads & faces. always had trouble drawing ears; james is good at them. maybe cause he's always had his on view to learn their contours whereas mine've been covered always by hair. maybe cause he's just a better sculptor. maybe cause i'm just learning to listen.
ears? what?
as pt of my reprogramming, i last wkend went up to the westside of LA & spent the day w/60 recovered women & my favorite irish "nunny bunny," so funny, spry, sharp & snappy (not to mention wise & loving), who announced next wk (this wk!) she'll be 79. wow! boy, what a wonderful day; i couldn't be more grateful for that experience as well as the next day, which led me to chant w/hundreds of others, then get to listen to some really inspiring talks about transforming oneself w/purpose of bringing comfort, peace & happiness to others. the teacher in me was so moved by this wholesome & noble & heartening philosophy! i can't wait to learn more of all this good stuff, be it 12 step, buddhist, christian, pantheist, or whatever... so glad i am remembering to continue to wash my mind.
i imbibed (i hope) much patient wisdom from my sponsor yesterday. pertinent to what i just wrote was when she reminded me, "there's a reason you have one mouth & two ears..."

also yesterday i learned my sponsor is 91 yrs young. i almost burst into tears & told her so; she smiled puzzledly, "why?" i told her they were tears of joy, that she was inspiring. i am nowhere near young anymore, yet she is twice my age, & so full of life & wisdom!... so here are some heads... the clay james is the 3rd i've made, trying different kinds of his clay as he chunks me a lump (or lumps me a chunk)... i did this one hurriedly w/o my glasses, just for comparison's sake. how do bad eyes affect my art? the upper skull should be taller, but i didn't have the clay or time, so think it came out ok, considering. his heads always are fictitious persons bc james is more imaginative than i am. he has just started on this hobby/outlet in the past many months. he is really, really good, i think!
time for more coffee... harvelle's tonight, downtown long beach, 9 pm-midnight. at that time, the bear will rise from his cave to roar mightily for the awe & pleasure of all. :)

i know why i do what i do be do be do

(all quotes from carl jung)
- In my case Pilgrim's Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I could reach out my hand to the little clod of earth that I am.
- As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.
- Follow that will and that way which experience confirms to be your own.
-  The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
- Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious.
- There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
- Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
- Our heart glows, and secret unrest gnaws at the root of our being. Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
-  In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
- Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
- Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
- Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
- We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
- Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
- Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

- Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.
- Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- The man who promises everything is sure to fulfil nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition.
- If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect. The judgement of the intellect is only part of the truth.
- The wine of youth does not always clear with advancing years; sometimes it grows turbid.
- Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.

- Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better.
(please talk amongst yourselves.)

angels, psychobabble, extracting head from rear

i have many angels in my life, but the ones of primary focus here are A & P. call it therapese, new-age gobbledy-goop, recovery spiel, i don't care; this stuff is gold. here are some nuggets i hope are useful to you, too, if you're reading this:
1. when communicating, use this general feedback technique [it's called an "i" message; ironically, i taught this in conflict resolution training yrs back. do i remember to use it? heck, no...]:
a. describe what i see/hear (what they say/do – this is the only part about the other person)
b. disclose/own my emotional state/response (this pt’s about me)
c. state/ask for what i need/want (this pt's also about me)
ex.: when you hug me, i feel cared about because i need physical touch.
when you tell me what to read or think, i feel resentful because i want to decide for myself what is appropriate for me.
2. although i might understand or justify why a person is how s/he is, i don’t have to make a life with her/him.
3. i have the right/privilege to decide how to spend my time, even if it's inconvenient &/or hurtful to others.
4. the higher the stress, the lower the level of coping we resort to.
5. past unfinished business must be completed. the only way out is through. old traumas that have been stored in the body ask to be discharged. this is not a bad thing. painful events are being re-experienced. this is a sign that healing is taking place. although i am tempted to run, i need to feel it. it will diminish.
6. what others do is not about me, even if it’s painful or wrong to the world or to them.
7. my reactions are only about me.
8. if i try to fix, "help," or control others, i don't have to be quiet & look & see what i have (w/in myself, what others "have" emotionally)
9. in love, all unresolved issues from childhood start to try to be played out. this will happen no matter who the beloved is & will continue to happen until the past is resolved.
10. your interpretations of events will be different than mine. we each have different bodies, genes, experiences, histories. we will have individual reactions to life. altho some people we meet might seem to have similar reactions (are "compatible"), they, too, are different & separate than we are. this difference doesn't make them "bad" or "good" (unless their actions are morally or legally objectionable to you) - it just makes them different than you, a separate person, a body that has lived a life separate from yours.
11. what do i see when i stop analyzing & merely observe? this is scary bc if i'm not trying to control, i might not like what i see/realize about myself & others.
12. A's definition of love: "I want for you what you want for yourself, and if it’s not what I love, I still want to help you get it."
sh*t.
no, these wisdoms ain't mine, but maybe i'll glom on to some, if i keep hearing them. and if i live to be a thousand.

champion jack dupree, master on the keys, knew what this world needs, the next rhyme's up to you, i'm through

"When you open up a piano, you see freedom. Nobody can play the white keys and don't play the black keys. You got to mix all these keys together to make harmony. And that's what the whole world needs: Harmony." it's just a dang good quote, so there you go... (part of his story here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champion_Jack_Dupree)