this is not me.
my clone
my family will attest this is how my face looked when i was younger, down to the sort of peeved expression... this gal's not a half-breed like me, & the wig's black, but the messiness is purt-dang close!!
darned delicious gutbomb late-night in-&-out burger!! it was fun to pile it down on my clear-black-night drive home on heels of (darling) karling abbeygate show @ which i got to see MANUEL!!!, but now i cannot sleep!! arggghhhh!!!! and now it's starting to pour pour pour & the moon is so so white! so tempting!! who can sleep?!? wow!! what a storm's starting!! dang hamburger -- i could be snuggled up in bed w/the rainfall instead of sitting here fat as a tick!!!
karling's got that wanda snarl, & her uptempo tunes in particular rockabillied like crazy & reminded me of becky's band back when: exciting-fun!! karling's got perfect bettie page black fluffy bouncy hair & such a pretty heart-shaped smile, & i wish i could wear sleeveless dresses like the one she wore tonight! she reminded me of betty boop even a bit & wonder what it'd be like to dance on the stage like she does, dance & twirl & then grab the mike & snarl into it like elvis?
it was great fun to get to see her in the flesh finally... like candye, karling's got good mojo, i think!
and manuel, big manny, the down-home giant of guitar: every time he'd sing out some solo i thought was especially fine, i'd look over & phil'd sure enough be smiling & chortling in admiration... phil's the best there is in town -- but manuel was the visiting king tonight!
ok, please continue on to read about tomorrow's halloween show... tonight we practiced nearly 5 HOURS w/scotty & i think tomorrow's gonna be quite the fun little bash. happy all hallow's eve & dia de los muertos & all saint's day & samhain & etc to all! :) :) :)
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
if you hear him howlin round your kitchen door, better not let him in
i love roku!! last nite, watched "let the right one in," disturbing & lonely & extremely well-made swedish vampire movie that touched off one nightmare of a jacked-up eve... tonight played music, rewatched one of my most faves, "zombieland" ("time to nut up or shut up!" "and without other people, you might as well be a zombie," etc.) & ate caveman cavey's & so the nite, like the werewolf's hair, "was perfect." am thinking some folks maybe are sore at me right now, tho. such is life, i guess. this, too, shall pass. they all have lives... how important can i be? it can't last, not the good or bad... upside is fri after practice i get to go watch manuel back up karling abbeygate, then we get to do a halloween show, then monday i'll meet the big man again at the barndance... tho i guess not the sore guy who lives in hollywood. maybe some other time. for now, oil well.
am now slightly lamenting i won't be at ex-hubby b's (& my) friends' halloween party sat, where the sober bikers sing (at funnest pt in set, for me) trashy 60s tunes & john smith does his spot-on karloff (i mean bobby boris pickett) & i get to pluck away off-the-cuff... however, we'll debut a new devil this wkend (i hope - if the guy has stamina to run a marathon in 3:30, he can certainly bust thru 4 sets, i'm thinking!!) & i'm looking fwd to seeing the fellows in caveman attire. that should be swell! :) for me, i spose i'll be the token cavewoman.
i think i'll rat my hair. and imagine the makeup i'll be able to get away with!
shuddering w/excitement now... time to hit the keys & try the zevon song... as well as there's a moon out tonight, whoa-oh-oh-ooh (capris)
(p.s. - this reminds me of when i was totally obsessed w/movies & tv shows & did stuff like the following: zombieland dialogue transcript )
(p.p.s. - "go get em," said manuel. "hit em hard & make em love you. i know you do." he speaks from experience!! anyone who doesn't love manuel has no heart & also no ear for sumo-sized talent & the best music!!!)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
songs & stories about rain & blablabla
1. "rain," charlie feathers; 2. story "the green morning," about a martian johnny appleseed, ray bradbury (from the martian chronicles); 3. "raindrops," jackie wilson; 4. "i can see clearly now," johnny nash; 5. "just walking in the rain," the prisonaires; 6. "when it rains, it really pours," elvis; 7. "rainy day dream away," jimi hendrix; 8. "stormy weather," ella fitzgerald; 9. "rain song" &/or "fool in the rain," led zeppelin... and, of course, "it's raining men" by the weather girls.
too bad i can't locate online text of "the green morning" to place link of here, since it's a gentle, beautiful story, i think. the bradburys online are more dystopic, e.g. these: "there will come soft rains" by ray bradbury (that one used to freak me out when i was a teen, as did the following:) "all summer in a day"... great stories, but dark dark dark, as is this: http://maugham.classicauthors.net/Rain/
***
it rains here in stereo. shade draws over deep blue sky & suddenly all's portentous, pregnant gray, earth & sky are shrouded in cloud, & flash! the light show hits & thunder cracks, rumbles, crashes like heaven's bowling alley, olympus' trash company. it's not gentle, as in some of the songs above, but seemingly unending when it hits, tho also not ominous & telling of evil, as in the maugham story. storms here come & come & come, like the rain'll never stop, rhythmic yet erratic, scary, thrilling, elemental, primitive, yes, this is it: i'm living in nature & it makes a soul realize its own tininess, temporariness, aliveness.
in a moment, i hope, will be warm bed, w/rain tattooing my brain w/imprints of rest & sleep.
here's a good quote from the comic sage & songwriting ace roger miller, dear friend of local honky-tonk trucker-bard, red "suitcase" simpson:
"some people walk in the rain. others just get wet."
too bad i can't locate online text of "the green morning" to place link of here, since it's a gentle, beautiful story, i think. the bradburys online are more dystopic, e.g. these: "there will come soft rains" by ray bradbury (that one used to freak me out when i was a teen, as did the following:) "all summer in a day"... great stories, but dark dark dark, as is this: http://maugham.classicauthors.net/Rain/
***
it rains here in stereo. shade draws over deep blue sky & suddenly all's portentous, pregnant gray, earth & sky are shrouded in cloud, & flash! the light show hits & thunder cracks, rumbles, crashes like heaven's bowling alley, olympus' trash company. it's not gentle, as in some of the songs above, but seemingly unending when it hits, tho also not ominous & telling of evil, as in the maugham story. storms here come & come & come, like the rain'll never stop, rhythmic yet erratic, scary, thrilling, elemental, primitive, yes, this is it: i'm living in nature & it makes a soul realize its own tininess, temporariness, aliveness.
in a moment, i hope, will be warm bed, w/rain tattooing my brain w/imprints of rest & sleep.
here's a good quote from the comic sage & songwriting ace roger miller, dear friend of local honky-tonk trucker-bard, red "suitcase" simpson:
"some people walk in the rain. others just get wet."
Sunday, October 10, 2010
wow.
saw this & can you believe his vocals are live, w/o effects, & what kind of mike is that, anyways? elvis WAS the king. never will there be another.
this has been a weird, wild, lonely, lovely, fun, fulfilling, & frustrating wkend. i was so touched (in the heart, tho am also in the head, yknow) when my friend in pittsburgh sent me a song said to have been written w/me in mind... recorded on one track, haunting, melancholy... don't have permission to post it, but when i do, i will. then my pal phil previewed for me a sort of wild gene vincent-style tune that will be a real blast, i think!
Friday, October 08, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGIE!!!! & blablabla
my little sister! she can't be middle-aged! but i guess if i am, she must be... yipes! and what a relief.
my little sister is a talented, dedicated, bright, even brilliant, self-proclaimed "creative basket case." she has always had the figure to die for, w/long slender legs, & she can really clean up: she can match an outfit head to toe & always dresses w/style!... she's worked hard her whole life, little soldier, hand to plow, sweat on brow (& she's needed to!! not just has she co-raised her daughter w/her ex, but she needs dough for the nice things she prefers!). an unfortunate but typical example of angie & i growing up: we both worked @ a discount movie house when we were girls. i recall staggering out of the ice room after some time in there w/a male co-worker to find angie scrubbing & scrubbing the lobby, working furiously... i must've been the most embarrassing sister, tho today fences are mended & i only want to help & love her, & i know that she feels the same toward me... time heals all wounds, & wounds all heels, to quote art fein. i certainly had my time to be wounded, & i deserved it, but now life is good & relationships repaired & what a thing life is, what a glorious thing...
i hope angie will be happy today. she has been downright stressed lately (a family trait: sloth & pleasure sandwiched by over-obligation & -toil). she works for "the evil empire," as mama calls it. she struggles to bring art & love & enrichment to kids who are being taught stultifying & soul-depleting rote. she fights the good fight, trying to guide kids from poverty conditions toward happy & useful citizenship. she's also studying to be an art therapist. so unusual! so worthy! she also just moved. she's also a good mom & friend. she also... the list goes on & on. angie is a hero to many! :)
was working on my brick pathway under a gorgeous (cerulean!!) sky when james called to ask which of his mad magazines i wanted. he also said he was building a giant papier mache head & a footstool made of old cowboy boots. so cool!! i love my smart, weird, life-loving & -affirming friends... at the show we did w/him last wk, james dedicated "roll 'em pete" to the dusk devils. they flat-out cooked that tune!, but the hole where piano goes was a definite one, to my ear, like when the blasters now do "one bad stud" w/o horns or keys, like "green onions" w/o the organ, "tequila" w/o the horns, elvis songs w/o elvis, "goin up to country" w/o flute (i know; that's the canned heat version, but that's the one i prefer), etc etc... then he dedicated to me "trying to get to you," which he'd pounded out of the park @ the elvis show. i was startled & flattered to hear him on-the-fly change the lyrics:
"i've been traveling in the dark... even up to frazier park... just to try to get to you... when i read your lovin' email, well, my heart began to sing..." [etc]
phil looked @ me & cocked a brow. "REAL-ly..." he chuckled...
"NO!!" i replied, embarrassed but happy.
am a very lucky person to have friends like these, brothers & sister, we. heck, to have friends at all! to have loved ones! i know they say keep your friends close & enemies closer, but i'd just much rather concentrate on the former. this life is too short to do otherwise!; we mustn't waste one more bit of energy on the others... unless they need our help & ask for it & we can give it w/o disparagement or expectation...
oh! i spot the quail on the hill opposite this picture window! i look out from here onto a mountainside, across the arroyo that demarcates the east side of my property... each morning i get to watch butterflies, blue birds, domestic cats who prowl the hill w/delusions of liondom, & lately, my favorites: a bevy of fat, top-hatted california quail, peeping & chirping & bobbing as they strut around & take their dirt baths... they're like a group of old men standing around smoking. this place is delightful for sites like that, & so much more!
back to fellow humans... i pray these steps i'm working will result in a clean & honest new person w/insides matching outsides. i know i have great capacity for love, & despair, & what lies between... but to respect & honor each person on my path of life, that's the goal. that's the goal. that's the goal. time to roll.
(addendum: yes, i know this has all been about me... but this IS my blog, of tiny -- if that -- import, written bc i so love to write. please, if you read this & judge me,or even if you don't, please start your own blog so that i can read it!)
my little sister is a talented, dedicated, bright, even brilliant, self-proclaimed "creative basket case." she has always had the figure to die for, w/long slender legs, & she can really clean up: she can match an outfit head to toe & always dresses w/style!... she's worked hard her whole life, little soldier, hand to plow, sweat on brow (& she's needed to!! not just has she co-raised her daughter w/her ex, but she needs dough for the nice things she prefers!). an unfortunate but typical example of angie & i growing up: we both worked @ a discount movie house when we were girls. i recall staggering out of the ice room after some time in there w/a male co-worker to find angie scrubbing & scrubbing the lobby, working furiously... i must've been the most embarrassing sister, tho today fences are mended & i only want to help & love her, & i know that she feels the same toward me... time heals all wounds, & wounds all heels, to quote art fein. i certainly had my time to be wounded, & i deserved it, but now life is good & relationships repaired & what a thing life is, what a glorious thing...
i hope angie will be happy today. she has been downright stressed lately (a family trait: sloth & pleasure sandwiched by over-obligation & -toil). she works for "the evil empire," as mama calls it. she struggles to bring art & love & enrichment to kids who are being taught stultifying & soul-depleting rote. she fights the good fight, trying to guide kids from poverty conditions toward happy & useful citizenship. she's also studying to be an art therapist. so unusual! so worthy! she also just moved. she's also a good mom & friend. she also... the list goes on & on. angie is a hero to many! :)
was working on my brick pathway under a gorgeous (cerulean!!) sky when james called to ask which of his mad magazines i wanted. he also said he was building a giant papier mache head & a footstool made of old cowboy boots. so cool!! i love my smart, weird, life-loving & -affirming friends... at the show we did w/him last wk, james dedicated "roll 'em pete" to the dusk devils. they flat-out cooked that tune!, but the hole where piano goes was a definite one, to my ear, like when the blasters now do "one bad stud" w/o horns or keys, like "green onions" w/o the organ, "tequila" w/o the horns, elvis songs w/o elvis, "goin up to country" w/o flute (i know; that's the canned heat version, but that's the one i prefer), etc etc... then he dedicated to me "trying to get to you," which he'd pounded out of the park @ the elvis show. i was startled & flattered to hear him on-the-fly change the lyrics:
"i've been traveling in the dark... even up to frazier park... just to try to get to you... when i read your lovin' email, well, my heart began to sing..." [etc]
phil looked @ me & cocked a brow. "REAL-ly..." he chuckled...
"NO!!" i replied, embarrassed but happy.
am a very lucky person to have friends like these, brothers & sister, we. heck, to have friends at all! to have loved ones! i know they say keep your friends close & enemies closer, but i'd just much rather concentrate on the former. this life is too short to do otherwise!; we mustn't waste one more bit of energy on the others... unless they need our help & ask for it & we can give it w/o disparagement or expectation...
oh! i spot the quail on the hill opposite this picture window! i look out from here onto a mountainside, across the arroyo that demarcates the east side of my property... each morning i get to watch butterflies, blue birds, domestic cats who prowl the hill w/delusions of liondom, & lately, my favorites: a bevy of fat, top-hatted california quail, peeping & chirping & bobbing as they strut around & take their dirt baths... they're like a group of old men standing around smoking. this place is delightful for sites like that, & so much more!
back to fellow humans... i pray these steps i'm working will result in a clean & honest new person w/insides matching outsides. i know i have great capacity for love, & despair, & what lies between... but to respect & honor each person on my path of life, that's the goal. that's the goal. that's the goal. time to roll.
(addendum: yes, i know this has all been about me... but this IS my blog, of tiny -- if that -- import, written bc i so love to write. please, if you read this & judge me,or even if you don't, please start your own blog so that i can read it!)
Saturday, October 02, 2010
pervading sense of unreality follows wondrous night of little sleep, glorious music and moonlight
(the above makes me miss writing headlines!!! in the online-publishing era, does "headline count" still exist?? i just don't know... it used to be sometimes irritating, but also fun wording headlines to puzzle together just so, working not just w/words, but even tighter -- w/picas, font sizes, & individual letters, which have different count depending on font & width...)
t.s. eliot: "it's strange that words are so inadequate. yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words..." feels like this whole blog is that way! my words are inadequate to capture what this precious & quixotic life feels like. are words that way for you??
so what a blessing it is to have such an outlet as this blog, fumbling tho my attempts may be to elucidate & enunciate mysteries of existence (ha!)... yes, what a blessing it is to write! & create! & feel! & love! & draw breath! (ok; that's enough...)
so back to earth: this house originally had 3 oaks on its property, beautiful old grandfathers, but when i moved here, only one remained, the others not just having been removed, but for some reason, their stumps painted blue. demented!... not just eviscerated, the trees were defaced, as if by some perverted arboreal undertaker!
the other day i returned from bakersfield feeling sick (as now seem to when returning from bako) & as i backed my truck up to the house so i wouldn't have to walk so far to unload, i glanced into the backyard &... tree #3 had fallen & was laying in pt on the house. yikes!! providence or fluke or the great pumpkin pitched the tree just enough away from the house so that it appears there's no roof damage, tho i've yet to confirm that... i know last night when i got home @ godforsaken-a.m., it rained like hell & this morn there are no leaks... could it be that a tree falls on the house & the house is not damaged? if so, wow!!
the tree looks like it committed suicide -- yanked itself from the earth, root & ball. no stump's even left to paint blue.
on the upside, i won't need firewood for winter! :)
well, was gonna write a bunch more, but am just too beat after the last few days... painful heel spur still holding me back from running; so grateful for this wk getting to make many amends & heal long-standing upsets w/others; so grateful to feel such love for & affinity w/other drunks, my brothers & sisters; helping sister move, & oh, how i love my little sister, who now owns her very own house, god love our parents!; driving driving driving, i'm always driving now; the beautiful rural rd from here to taft (on I-5! i didn't think there was one pretty inch on that strip!); the wild & amazing whiteboy james (who has the life force of 2 -- maybe 3 -- men & is the most blessedly, fierily talented crazy cutey demon i've ever met! a supernova!); his band's incredible show last night (oh, to have a band that tight! what heaven that must be!); our quite uneven but ultimately ok contribution to the show; steady crazy friendly rick, & phil, who, yes, is wonderful, & what's so wrong about saying what's true?; some disturbing conflicts & hurt feelings w/in band; the velvety night, the hotel lights, the stars & moon, the long rd home; up late, writing a song, unable to sleep, abuzz buzz buzz... & today, following last night's downpour, this morn's perfect skies, robin's-egg blue, clouds, billowy-silvery, w/light quality so clean & gold, it nearly brought tears!
wow!!! a giant crash of thunder just boomed not so far from here, crashing like zeus's symphonic kettle drum, thumping the whole mountain!! more big storms today, looks like!
more good news: no trees on this property to be knocked down by storms!!!
wa-la! that's it for now! happy fin de semana to anyone reading this! :)
t.s. eliot: "it's strange that words are so inadequate. yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words..." feels like this whole blog is that way! my words are inadequate to capture what this precious & quixotic life feels like. are words that way for you??
so what a blessing it is to have such an outlet as this blog, fumbling tho my attempts may be to elucidate & enunciate mysteries of existence (ha!)... yes, what a blessing it is to write! & create! & feel! & love! & draw breath! (ok; that's enough...)
so back to earth: this house originally had 3 oaks on its property, beautiful old grandfathers, but when i moved here, only one remained, the others not just having been removed, but for some reason, their stumps painted blue. demented!... not just eviscerated, the trees were defaced, as if by some perverted arboreal undertaker!
the other day i returned from bakersfield feeling sick (as now seem to when returning from bako) & as i backed my truck up to the house so i wouldn't have to walk so far to unload, i glanced into the backyard &... tree #3 had fallen & was laying in pt on the house. yikes!! providence or fluke or the great pumpkin pitched the tree just enough away from the house so that it appears there's no roof damage, tho i've yet to confirm that... i know last night when i got home @ godforsaken-a.m., it rained like hell & this morn there are no leaks... could it be that a tree falls on the house & the house is not damaged? if so, wow!!
the tree looks like it committed suicide -- yanked itself from the earth, root & ball. no stump's even left to paint blue.
on the upside, i won't need firewood for winter! :)
well, was gonna write a bunch more, but am just too beat after the last few days... painful heel spur still holding me back from running; so grateful for this wk getting to make many amends & heal long-standing upsets w/others; so grateful to feel such love for & affinity w/other drunks, my brothers & sisters; helping sister move, & oh, how i love my little sister, who now owns her very own house, god love our parents!; driving driving driving, i'm always driving now; the beautiful rural rd from here to taft (on I-5! i didn't think there was one pretty inch on that strip!); the wild & amazing whiteboy james (who has the life force of 2 -- maybe 3 -- men & is the most blessedly, fierily talented crazy cutey demon i've ever met! a supernova!); his band's incredible show last night (oh, to have a band that tight! what heaven that must be!); our quite uneven but ultimately ok contribution to the show; steady crazy friendly rick, & phil, who, yes, is wonderful, & what's so wrong about saying what's true?; some disturbing conflicts & hurt feelings w/in band; the velvety night, the hotel lights, the stars & moon, the long rd home; up late, writing a song, unable to sleep, abuzz buzz buzz... & today, following last night's downpour, this morn's perfect skies, robin's-egg blue, clouds, billowy-silvery, w/light quality so clean & gold, it nearly brought tears!
wow!!! a giant crash of thunder just boomed not so far from here, crashing like zeus's symphonic kettle drum, thumping the whole mountain!! more big storms today, looks like!
more good news: no trees on this property to be knocked down by storms!!!
wa-la! that's it for now! happy fin de semana to anyone reading this! :)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
whon thot Aprille swithin potrzebie, the burgid prillie gives one heebie-jeebie. SPA FON! SQUA TRONT!! GASP!!!! CHOKE!!!!
james sez the place is an old speakeasy! they got food! they got booze! we got music! they got the unbeatable, unbearably smokin james & the blues express! we got fabulous phil hickerson & the dynamic dusk devils!here's to a rockin good time for all, whether you're there or not. :)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
the most amazing video ever made as well as another amazing road trip & tho overused here, amazing is a pretty apt & cool word.
- this sounds like pure boasting, & tho i never want to leave my house ever again (never meaning not tonight), i just got back from the coolest gig ever.
- a catastrophe went down (everyone's ok; don't worry) & candye kane put out a request & next thing i knew, she flew me out to green bay. outside the oneida in g.b., where they've had 3 awesome rockin' 50s festivals already, candye & co swung up as i stood there finishing a great quick read ("i'm not scared," by niccolo ammaniti). i jumped in their van (soon to be mine for 4 days), we took off north to marquette, mi & next day i got to go to a blues fest where candye headlined & i got to play bigshot-in-my-own-brain as folks asked if i was her manager & i nodded noncommitally, in what i thought might be a slightly mysterious, even possibly inscrutable manner, tho i maybe just looked dyspeptic & kind of like a freezing pocket mouse in my new-from-marquette-goodwill overcoat (it was dang cold!) & oversized shoes... then i got to see how festivals & fans treat well-loved, hard-working performers like candye: lots of well-deserved attention, adoration, everyone wanting to get up close to candye, dressed in her bawdy, pretty-peacock finery w/that big sweet smile on her heart-shaped face that just makes everyone love her, & then having to watch her have run-ins w/the occasional social retard... i guess there's no way to avoid such humans, no matter how much a person's loved... she took it w/grace & class, tho if i get to impersonate her manager ever again, i think i'll shut such twerps down cause candye & her whole dang band work too hard & are too nice a group to suffer fools...
- then we went in the trailer & ate some grub & candye unloaded about a recent entanglement in which she was treated really unfairly & by a know-it-all musician a**hole; said people were asking if i were her sister & then we found out we are both middle-named louise & she said some people you just have a connection w/ & maybe it's cause you knew them in another life & i was struck that someone else had told me such a thing earlier that very wk, & who knows? maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but in any event, i was flattered & also intrigued...
- next day they all flew home & my job began, so i embarked upon the rd to california, delivering the van home... it was a long adventure, but i had carl perkins, little walter, billie holliday, npr, weather, scenery, & my own meanderings to entertain me & continually was happy & stunned by where life can take a person, tho when i started talking to the van, i knew it was time to get this rd trip over & get back into the world of people...
- eventually i was sitting there in candye's beautiful old beachside home, an airy but cozy place filled w/funky antique & retro furniture, music, instruments, tchotckes, etc. & a sleepy ocean breeze that would lull me into near-stupor, if i lived there... generous, candid candye (you always know right where you are w/her; she is let-it-hang-out honest & a good friend, you can tell) treated me; her rmmate, artist mardi (who designs, cuts & builds really cool metal jewelry & place settings); & candye's best-bud, mischievous, quirky, gifted guitar genius laura c (she has an amazing face; someone should photograph her), to all-you-can-eat sushi (truly an american-japanese amalgamation, that). afterward, all were lying on the craftsman & googie couches & chairs & facebooking when laura jumped up & said, oh, i gotta show you something! this is so cool! and she then pulled up this incredible video... just wait til you see it. you'll be so happy; your life will be better. :)
- then my dear friend bill pulled up, he of the movie star looks & kooky smart-squirrel personality, & whisked me away to hang out w/him & my dear dear friend, his bride freddie... they are the happiest couple i know, funny & generous & so full of joy that they infuse everyone around them w/it. again, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude: such wonderful folks everyone is, from sturdy bassman kennan to candye's gifted son, drummer evan (he of the soulful eyes) to candye, laura, mardi, bill, freddie, & now i can't wait to see my family & loved ones & bandmates (once i sleep for about 96 hrs). right now i feel like my sponsor, who calls herself "the luckiest woman in the world," & in that ea person lives in his/her own world of subjective experience, i suppose i AM the luckiest woman in the world. it's a pretty dang good life, considering where it might've gone had i not been forced by the supreme spirit of the universe to put down the bottle & the hangover... ain't life grand? just to breathe air one more day, to not wonder why was i born, whywhywhy, to not hate anyone or oneself... ain't life grand?
- now am home & too tired to sleep, but to be home... home is the hunter, home from the hills, the sailor home from the sea... & the squirrel home from the tree, tho still w/plenty of nuts in her cheeks (whatever the heck that means. dang; it's getting late!).
- hope you love this video as much as i do. buona notte, buenos noches, bonne nuit... here's to you & me, may we never disagree, & if we do... ooh-poo-pah-doo (to quote jesse hill).
- a catastrophe went down (everyone's ok; don't worry) & candye kane put out a request & next thing i knew, she flew me out to green bay. outside the oneida in g.b., where they've had 3 awesome rockin' 50s festivals already, candye & co swung up as i stood there finishing a great quick read ("i'm not scared," by niccolo ammaniti). i jumped in their van (soon to be mine for 4 days), we took off north to marquette, mi & next day i got to go to a blues fest where candye headlined & i got to play bigshot-in-my-own-brain as folks asked if i was her manager & i nodded noncommitally, in what i thought might be a slightly mysterious, even possibly inscrutable manner, tho i maybe just looked dyspeptic & kind of like a freezing pocket mouse in my new-from-marquette-goodwill overcoat (it was dang cold!) & oversized shoes... then i got to see how festivals & fans treat well-loved, hard-working performers like candye: lots of well-deserved attention, adoration, everyone wanting to get up close to candye, dressed in her bawdy, pretty-peacock finery w/that big sweet smile on her heart-shaped face that just makes everyone love her, & then having to watch her have run-ins w/the occasional social retard... i guess there's no way to avoid such humans, no matter how much a person's loved... she took it w/grace & class, tho if i get to impersonate her manager ever again, i think i'll shut such twerps down cause candye & her whole dang band work too hard & are too nice a group to suffer fools...
- then we went in the trailer & ate some grub & candye unloaded about a recent entanglement in which she was treated really unfairly & by a know-it-all musician a**hole; said people were asking if i were her sister & then we found out we are both middle-named louise & she said some people you just have a connection w/ & maybe it's cause you knew them in another life & i was struck that someone else had told me such a thing earlier that very wk, & who knows? maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but in any event, i was flattered & also intrigued...
- next day they all flew home & my job began, so i embarked upon the rd to california, delivering the van home... it was a long adventure, but i had carl perkins, little walter, billie holliday, npr, weather, scenery, & my own meanderings to entertain me & continually was happy & stunned by where life can take a person, tho when i started talking to the van, i knew it was time to get this rd trip over & get back into the world of people...
- eventually i was sitting there in candye's beautiful old beachside home, an airy but cozy place filled w/funky antique & retro furniture, music, instruments, tchotckes, etc. & a sleepy ocean breeze that would lull me into near-stupor, if i lived there... generous, candid candye (you always know right where you are w/her; she is let-it-hang-out honest & a good friend, you can tell) treated me; her rmmate, artist mardi (who designs, cuts & builds really cool metal jewelry & place settings); & candye's best-bud, mischievous, quirky, gifted guitar genius laura c (she has an amazing face; someone should photograph her), to all-you-can-eat sushi (truly an american-japanese amalgamation, that). afterward, all were lying on the craftsman & googie couches & chairs & facebooking when laura jumped up & said, oh, i gotta show you something! this is so cool! and she then pulled up this incredible video... just wait til you see it. you'll be so happy; your life will be better. :)
- then my dear friend bill pulled up, he of the movie star looks & kooky smart-squirrel personality, & whisked me away to hang out w/him & my dear dear friend, his bride freddie... they are the happiest couple i know, funny & generous & so full of joy that they infuse everyone around them w/it. again, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude: such wonderful folks everyone is, from sturdy bassman kennan to candye's gifted son, drummer evan (he of the soulful eyes) to candye, laura, mardi, bill, freddie, & now i can't wait to see my family & loved ones & bandmates (once i sleep for about 96 hrs). right now i feel like my sponsor, who calls herself "the luckiest woman in the world," & in that ea person lives in his/her own world of subjective experience, i suppose i AM the luckiest woman in the world. it's a pretty dang good life, considering where it might've gone had i not been forced by the supreme spirit of the universe to put down the bottle & the hangover... ain't life grand? just to breathe air one more day, to not wonder why was i born, whywhywhy, to not hate anyone or oneself... ain't life grand?
- now am home & too tired to sleep, but to be home... home is the hunter, home from the hills, the sailor home from the sea... & the squirrel home from the tree, tho still w/plenty of nuts in her cheeks (whatever the heck that means. dang; it's getting late!).
- hope you love this video as much as i do. buona notte, buenos noches, bonne nuit... here's to you & me, may we never disagree, & if we do... ooh-poo-pah-doo (to quote jesse hill).
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
goddang pizza
exercise 50 mins + eat leftover pizza in fridge = up for many hrs dratting self & finding cool songs on youtube...
1. am trying to get the guys to learn this one... here it is, phil & mark!!!
2 he's a tough lover -- whoooo!! etta does little richard! :)
3. this is from a cool-sounded project, AMERICANA WOMEN. i love her confident tilt of head & drawl... not to mention right-hand action, which i'll never have...
-> link to music box project & AMERICANA WOMEN: http://www.youtube.com/user/MusicBoxProject
4. go, bloodshot bill, the wildest cat out there! no vocal effects, no wimpy rockabilly, wail, man, wail!
5. a special song for me, featuring the best teen drummer i've ever heard:
... ok, i think i'm all digested now.
that sounds funny. :)
1. am trying to get the guys to learn this one... here it is, phil & mark!!!
2 he's a tough lover -- whoooo!! etta does little richard! :)
3. this is from a cool-sounded project, AMERICANA WOMEN. i love her confident tilt of head & drawl... not to mention right-hand action, which i'll never have...
-> link to music box project & AMERICANA WOMEN: http://www.youtube.com/user/MusicBoxProject
4. go, bloodshot bill, the wildest cat out there! no vocal effects, no wimpy rockabilly, wail, man, wail!
5. a special song for me, featuring the best teen drummer i've ever heard:
... ok, i think i'm all digested now.
that sounds funny. :)
Saturday, August 28, 2010
kings (& queen) of the wild frontier... & some mushiness.
re wyoming band road trip: after hellishly long drive & my asthma attack (me saved by phil, mark, a rescuing-angel retired cop, & paramedics), we were treated like royalty at the absaroka state takeover car show... rooms, food, great payday, two slow-starting but super shows, saturday night ENCORE, for pete's sake, & drunkenly joyous, rowdy after-show-but-from-the-stage versions of johnny cash & jerry lee from moonshiners' car club pres & secretary, bros scott & john paul (handsome as movie stars, horsing-around friendly as one of your buddies from work)... this topped off by the phil's impromptu guitar god instrumental (apparently it was based on some AC/DC riff, heaven save us all). i wish to heck i'd had a video camera; you shoulda seen him & the band playing as the roaring-drunk crowd howled w/appreciation! except for the mark nearly peeling his entire hand off in blisters, the trip was fantastic, the long drive home going quite a lot smoother, me getting to know my friends much better. they are good fellows of great humor. :)we rolled into bakoland in early morning hrs & the rest of the wk's been a bit of a blur except i got a frigging fantastic package of CDs & book "rock stardom for dumbsh*ts" from mel bergman of the phantom surfers/go-nuts... i mean, lord!! what a happy unexpected kick THAT was!... huge thanks to russ davidson, clint of the bozeman trail inn, & handsome scotty & the moonshiners' car club guys for hosting us & making us feel really dang special. i also thank the academy, as well as all the young women (& men) who approached me, hugged me, & told me how wonderful i was, including russ's beautiful wife. & i thank the folks in wyoming who looked at me like i just touched down from planet freakazoid, for they helped keep my ego in check. :)
i mean, WOW!! how does this amazing crap happen????
am hoping to get a copy of the radio show we did to excerpt here, if there's anything interesting there, that is... & that russ DOES come to bako & light this town up w/honky-tonks & great band offerings!
wouldn't that be swell, people? :)
last night was our 1st freeze here (in AUGUST!) & the lazy dogs just snuffled & snorted & wiggled in their little doggy-naps, & man, it's sure pretty outside. tonight's a fundraiser down (up?) in bako hosted by mom & dad for a young, idealistic school board candidate, which means i now must go find a socially acceptable, perhaps (if i'm lucky) somewhat attractive outfit.
this place is lovely, this life is lovely -- i just pray i don't think so cause things are going my way. some quotes from the bard:
- love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.
- they do not love that do not show their love.
- (& thoreau) there is no remedy for love but to love more.
i don't know where i'm going w/this... today, may we all be in its stream, & tomorrow ask again to take a swim, if there be no expectations attached to our request, that is...
Monday, August 16, 2010
wheee! duh.. oooh... oh... aaah
- in a mind-blowing show of generosity, mama took my sister, niece & i on a trip to london & paris. overwhelmed w/how to deal w/the whole thing beforehand, i kept it low, didn't tell anyone. i felt so fortunate, but also that it somehow meant i must be stuck-up or spoiled.
- no, said others, you're merely fortunate & should feel grateful... which of course is correct. :)
- it was, as you'd maybe expect, a really nice trip, tho upon our return u.s. homeland security treated my little pink-cheeked niece, clutching her pooh bear even, like the unibomber (she had a wire in her garment), then seized the pate i'd bought for dad. (they considered it a gel. so i blurted, at the risk of being pummeled, "why don't you stick your finger in there & check for yourself?!?)
- "well, who knows: it could've been a pate explosive," sister angie later said, & added they probably took it to give to their girlfriends, which would serve them right bc pate is "nasty.") but before all this...
- i forgot my camera. duh. really, who goes to another continent & forgets the camera?!? what was most important was when friends reminded me, "this must've been the trip of a lifetime for your mother," & she did, indeed, say so. we bonded, us all, & doesn't life continue to have its wonders? :) ... mama was so, so happy, & so were my sister & i. in this case, i learned, giving back meant being able to receive such a gift graciously, w/o wallowing in some weird self-pity & guilt bc the whole world cannot take such trips.
- & now THIS wk is another trip, this time to wyoming w/the dusk devils. wyoming! - was encouraged when the promoter said, "i'm hoping it'll be a working vacation for you guys, so you can see some of the most beautiful country in the united states." wow! imagine!
- the guys came up (down?) yesterday to my place for the 1st time & we had absolutely a rip-roaring practice!! playing music together in my house w/the breeze blowing & the mountains all around & us 4 so tight-knit, crazy full of fun & grit, i got thrilled about this upcoming rd trip! can't wait now to travel there & & bust up the stage & meet some folks & see some land.
and wear a new dress, of course!! :)
- yes, this was quite a post-jetlag wkend... nine visitors! i love my friends & family, & the dusk devils. :) this a.m. i dropped off out front of the post office a very large package & went inside & FINALLY got the cookies & big beat of the '50s magazine memphis mike sent me a month ago. the cookies were still pretty good, tho crumbly, & i still can't believe we're on the cover of an australian mag that bears a pic of the johnny burnette trio!
- mike, kind, crazy fellow, is having a health snag, so please light a candle for him & send some special thoughts to this pittsburgh peach. :)
- today's of course the anniversary of elvis's death, & in memoriam, here's his beautiful effigy... a roman bust from the 2nd century AD! i think for this wyoming trip i will dye my hair blue-black in his honor.
cheers & happy happy to vous.
- no, said others, you're merely fortunate & should feel grateful... which of course is correct. :)
- it was, as you'd maybe expect, a really nice trip, tho upon our return u.s. homeland security treated my little pink-cheeked niece, clutching her pooh bear even, like the unibomber (she had a wire in her garment), then seized the pate i'd bought for dad. (they considered it a gel. so i blurted, at the risk of being pummeled, "why don't you stick your finger in there & check for yourself?!?)
- "well, who knows: it could've been a pate explosive," sister angie later said, & added they probably took it to give to their girlfriends, which would serve them right bc pate is "nasty.") but before all this...
- i forgot my camera. duh. really, who goes to another continent & forgets the camera?!? what was most important was when friends reminded me, "this must've been the trip of a lifetime for your mother," & she did, indeed, say so. we bonded, us all, & doesn't life continue to have its wonders? :) ... mama was so, so happy, & so were my sister & i. in this case, i learned, giving back meant being able to receive such a gift graciously, w/o wallowing in some weird self-pity & guilt bc the whole world cannot take such trips.
- & now THIS wk is another trip, this time to wyoming w/the dusk devils. wyoming! - was encouraged when the promoter said, "i'm hoping it'll be a working vacation for you guys, so you can see some of the most beautiful country in the united states." wow! imagine!
- the guys came up (down?) yesterday to my place for the 1st time & we had absolutely a rip-roaring practice!! playing music together in my house w/the breeze blowing & the mountains all around & us 4 so tight-knit, crazy full of fun & grit, i got thrilled about this upcoming rd trip! can't wait now to travel there & & bust up the stage & meet some folks & see some land.
and wear a new dress, of course!! :)
- yes, this was quite a post-jetlag wkend... nine visitors! i love my friends & family, & the dusk devils. :) this a.m. i dropped off out front of the post office a very large package & went inside & FINALLY got the cookies & big beat of the '50s magazine memphis mike sent me a month ago. the cookies were still pretty good, tho crumbly, & i still can't believe we're on the cover of an australian mag that bears a pic of the johnny burnette trio!
- mike, kind, crazy fellow, is having a health snag, so please light a candle for him & send some special thoughts to this pittsburgh peach. :)
- today's of course the anniversary of elvis's death, & in memoriam, here's his beautiful effigy... a roman bust from the 2nd century AD! i think for this wyoming trip i will dye my hair blue-black in his honor.
cheers & happy happy to vous.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
july: roadtrip 2010
some pix got left off the slideshow. here's one.
below's the really important one, tho.
yep, 15 yrs, no drinkee. not that i didn't try in this past mad yr... so therefore i'm especially grateful for the good supreme spirit of the universe & all its earthly manifestations, animal, vegetable & mineral. may you be well, fellow manifestation.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
june: killer kern, biker friends, rockin' james, narducci's fun, nerds unite
1. rafted down the kern river the day after they let the water go from the isabella dam (we did not know this). as soon as we put in, rapids yanked the boat from shore & hats & my paddle were ripped away. we hit 3 big sections of rapids. i was scared sh*tless. i knew i was dead. after a few hrs, the water calmed considerably & there was a serene & still 20 mins or so as i drifted along cool river & lazily considered the riverfront mansions & deep green banks. then i saw river locks ahead – w/churning rapids!! i hurriedly got out & started the slog back to truck, cutting thru an oil lease & frying my hand pretty badly on a steam pipe. phil tells me later i was lucky i didn’t breathe oilfield gas & die immediately.
at gordon's ferry, the original ending pt, just past the locks, stood a comely tv reporter. a man had tried to go thru the locks i'd narrowly avoided & had drowned, his corpse found washed up under the bridge. usually the locks are passable bc the river is low. w/the dam opened up, the water level was much higher. he tried to make it anyway. the killer kern is aptly named. mama said she’d murder me if i ever went on water again w/o a life vest. i soberly agreed.
2. we played 2 shows in one day. how i love doing that, adrenaline junkie i still am. 1st was @ vinny’s opening for whiteboy james. i had to cover up head to toe due to being a bruised mess from moving & it was appallingly, punishingly hot that day, however what tremendous fun & what a positive success the event was. many people we knew were there, greeting us w/smiles, & what a happy thing that much of “our crowd” has become the bikers of oildale, not just upending some stereotypes but letting me know we’ve got folks watching our backs just in case (tho the phil’s one tough boy scout, & bet the other fellows are no slouches, either). our set was met w/happy cheering & laughing. and again, i looked out & saw women mouthing words to my songs!! how can that be???? i talked w/a swell guy named big e who looks like hoss cartwright... after our set, i was pulled out on the dance floor by all the gals & it was hot sweaty fun fun fun.
james arrived finally & started up, so cute, weird & wild, funny & obscene, in powerful voice, w/his heavy rockin jump & blues. a big flirt w/all, he mouthed to me “i love you” & i mouthed back “no, you don’t.” i don’t know how someone can drink so much beer, smoke so many smokes, & be so alive & powerful. his band was so tight & scott abeyta ripped & roared on that guitar. finally i had to head for the 2nd show & james walked me out & told me about voicing a video game that’s a huge hit in korea, he & his son going to video game conventions & korean people greeting him like a movie star… what an interesting life he -- & i – & we all! -- get to have!
3. the narducci’s show was fun, but of course, being the early openers (8 pm @ narducci’s, where no one shows up til 10!!), we had a small crowd. rick pinch-hitted for us on drums & did a swell job! elvis from 3 bad jacks sat in back & laughed @ end of “2 left feet,” he therefore being the only person we’ve played before who’s caught the hank ballard ending on that song. next was los creepers, big solid young guys from east la who played heavy psychobilly & were pleasant & polite offstage. we ate our free narducci’s meal & then james showed up w/kaykay & tanna! k books vinny’s & loves mick j & tanna is a big-hearted little biker gal. they were bummed to have missed our set. while 3 bad jacks played to an enthusiastic crowd, we all sat in back, laughing & roaring & doing parlor tricks, like wiggling ears & lifting eyebrows, then mark blew everyone away w/his cigarette stunt (you’ll have to ask him to demonstrate). the others smoked & drank while phil & i had our sodas, then the phil had to go so i just hung out til i couldn’t any more… drove home & crashed for a short while -- then in the early morning, james dropped by! i was blown away to share great music & conversation at my place, as well as to hang out with a fellow mad & movie nerds (who left behind about 500 cigarette butts)!
4. more above... eventually...
at gordon's ferry, the original ending pt, just past the locks, stood a comely tv reporter. a man had tried to go thru the locks i'd narrowly avoided & had drowned, his corpse found washed up under the bridge. usually the locks are passable bc the river is low. w/the dam opened up, the water level was much higher. he tried to make it anyway. the killer kern is aptly named. mama said she’d murder me if i ever went on water again w/o a life vest. i soberly agreed.
2. we played 2 shows in one day. how i love doing that, adrenaline junkie i still am. 1st was @ vinny’s opening for whiteboy james. i had to cover up head to toe due to being a bruised mess from moving & it was appallingly, punishingly hot that day, however what tremendous fun & what a positive success the event was. many people we knew were there, greeting us w/smiles, & what a happy thing that much of “our crowd” has become the bikers of oildale, not just upending some stereotypes but letting me know we’ve got folks watching our backs just in case (tho the phil’s one tough boy scout, & bet the other fellows are no slouches, either). our set was met w/happy cheering & laughing. and again, i looked out & saw women mouthing words to my songs!! how can that be???? i talked w/a swell guy named big e who looks like hoss cartwright... after our set, i was pulled out on the dance floor by all the gals & it was hot sweaty fun fun fun.
james arrived finally & started up, so cute, weird & wild, funny & obscene, in powerful voice, w/his heavy rockin jump & blues. a big flirt w/all, he mouthed to me “i love you” & i mouthed back “no, you don’t.” i don’t know how someone can drink so much beer, smoke so many smokes, & be so alive & powerful. his band was so tight & scott abeyta ripped & roared on that guitar. finally i had to head for the 2nd show & james walked me out & told me about voicing a video game that’s a huge hit in korea, he & his son going to video game conventions & korean people greeting him like a movie star… what an interesting life he -- & i – & we all! -- get to have!
3. the narducci’s show was fun, but of course, being the early openers (8 pm @ narducci’s, where no one shows up til 10!!), we had a small crowd. rick pinch-hitted for us on drums & did a swell job! elvis from 3 bad jacks sat in back & laughed @ end of “2 left feet,” he therefore being the only person we’ve played before who’s caught the hank ballard ending on that song. next was los creepers, big solid young guys from east la who played heavy psychobilly & were pleasant & polite offstage. we ate our free narducci’s meal & then james showed up w/kaykay & tanna! k books vinny’s & loves mick j & tanna is a big-hearted little biker gal. they were bummed to have missed our set. while 3 bad jacks played to an enthusiastic crowd, we all sat in back, laughing & roaring & doing parlor tricks, like wiggling ears & lifting eyebrows, then mark blew everyone away w/his cigarette stunt (you’ll have to ask him to demonstrate). the others smoked & drank while phil & i had our sodas, then the phil had to go so i just hung out til i couldn’t any more… drove home & crashed for a short while -- then in the early morning, james dropped by! i was blown away to share great music & conversation at my place, as well as to hang out with a fellow mad & movie nerds (who left behind about 500 cigarette butts)!
4. more above... eventually...
Monday, July 19, 2010
rezamalution [sp]
tomorrow i will blog about the past month. it's been a long dang diddly time, as ned flanders would say.
for now i'll just put down, to -- i hope -- kickstart some cogitations & remembrances, that i'm sitting in my new mountain house-no-longer-dump, it's not 9000 degrees outside (as it is in pobre bakingfield), the windows are full of forest, the night sky's full of stars, the fridge is full of food, my head's full of sleepy next-to-nothing, & all that isn't what makes life good... however, no corpses after recent gigs & mondo texas car trip, still upright & breathing, not pushing up daisies, got a pulse & a chance, well, that DOES.
here's a pic of my friend james & i. we dusk devils have a chance to make a record on james's & his buddy, awesome guitarist scott abeyta's, label, if scott likes what we play. so our next band task, aside from solidifying an insane road trip to wyoming, of all the cotton pickin places on earth, is to get songs together for j&s. ORIGINAL songs is what james wants... ain't that a hoot? i can't stop smiling about it.
good night good night good night
good night
for now i'll just put down, to -- i hope -- kickstart some cogitations & remembrances, that i'm sitting in my new mountain house-no-longer-dump, it's not 9000 degrees outside (as it is in pobre bakingfield), the windows are full of forest, the night sky's full of stars, the fridge is full of food, my head's full of sleepy next-to-nothing, & all that isn't what makes life good... however, no corpses after recent gigs & mondo texas car trip, still upright & breathing, not pushing up daisies, got a pulse & a chance, well, that DOES.
here's a pic of my friend james & i. we dusk devils have a chance to make a record on james's & his buddy, awesome guitarist scott abeyta's, label, if scott likes what we play. so our next band task, aside from solidifying an insane road trip to wyoming, of all the cotton pickin places on earth, is to get songs together for j&s. ORIGINAL songs is what james wants... ain't that a hoot? i can't stop smiling about it.good night good night good night
good night
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
moving
arrrrrrgggghhhh!!! my fingers!!!!!!!!
i think i reherniated myself. i look like my sister, lover of mosh pits & martial arts: bruised bow to stern. how did i ever amass so many gd LPs, CDs, music equipment, movies, &, most of all, books??? (&, reminds randy, big shoes.) i should have been collecting granite all these yrs. it'd've be less agonizing to move. however, despite my pain & fatigue, & the possible pain/fatigue of all the loved ones who helped me, the home in the mountains is shaping up cozily (tho the outside still resembles a haunted house). waking up to a window full of national forest & robin's egg-blue sky, with cool clean breezes wafting thru the curtains, fills me with an even happier feeling than i ever imagined... ahhh; to be able to breathe is a wonderful thing.
i hope grandma mary's spirit doesn't take this as blasphemy: peace be with you.
i think i reherniated myself. i look like my sister, lover of mosh pits & martial arts: bruised bow to stern. how did i ever amass so many gd LPs, CDs, music equipment, movies, &, most of all, books??? (&, reminds randy, big shoes.) i should have been collecting granite all these yrs. it'd've be less agonizing to move. however, despite my pain & fatigue, & the possible pain/fatigue of all the loved ones who helped me, the home in the mountains is shaping up cozily (tho the outside still resembles a haunted house). waking up to a window full of national forest & robin's egg-blue sky, with cool clean breezes wafting thru the curtains, fills me with an even happier feeling than i ever imagined... ahhh; to be able to breathe is a wonderful thing.
i hope grandma mary's spirit doesn't take this as blasphemy: peace be with you.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
iiiii'm so vain...
oh boy, am so bushed... been moving, moving, moving. my old house, in which i now sit, is a lonely ghost containing scarcely more than this computer & i, while the new one, packed w/boxes, awaits me in another town & hops w/promise. i miss it! and i'm scared... i'm moving. but mountain retreat it will be, will be! &, of course, the only constant is change. shiver.
body's tahrd tahrd tahrd. want to make a pallet on the floor & crash, but there's nothing w/which to pallet. so i play bejeweled like a zombie & you know how one's mind wanders when fatigued & i realize there are 3 songs out there about me. not ones i THINK are about me, but really, truly about jenny. but it's irritating because 2 of the songs are sort of dirge-ish & self-pitying & really about the guy, not about me, this projection of what they think i be, when i'd prefer something sort of wildly fun, like "crazy baby," or weird & cool like "for the love of ivy," or soulfully anthemic, like "mona," or romantic, deep, & devoted like "(life's little) ups & downs," or at least about the me i think i am (but how could they know? i never tell them & they don't ask)... however, the 3rd of the songs is a really cool surfy-mysterious instrumental & i feel honored that it's about me, composed by a talented, towering texan w/these really cool hands that look biblical or sculpted by michelangelo...
yes, i'm feeling rather special until i realize that except for "the big g," i've written about 25,000,000 songs about guys. i don't know where this is going, so i'm going to make a pallet.
body's tahrd tahrd tahrd. want to make a pallet on the floor & crash, but there's nothing w/which to pallet. so i play bejeweled like a zombie & you know how one's mind wanders when fatigued & i realize there are 3 songs out there about me. not ones i THINK are about me, but really, truly about jenny. but it's irritating because 2 of the songs are sort of dirge-ish & self-pitying & really about the guy, not about me, this projection of what they think i be, when i'd prefer something sort of wildly fun, like "crazy baby," or weird & cool like "for the love of ivy," or soulfully anthemic, like "mona," or romantic, deep, & devoted like "(life's little) ups & downs," or at least about the me i think i am (but how could they know? i never tell them & they don't ask)... however, the 3rd of the songs is a really cool surfy-mysterious instrumental & i feel honored that it's about me, composed by a talented, towering texan w/these really cool hands that look biblical or sculpted by michelangelo...
yes, i'm feeling rather special until i realize that except for "the big g," i've written about 25,000,000 songs about guys. i don't know where this is going, so i'm going to make a pallet.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
screeds, songs, & poems: there was a little house on a hill w/a pretty white porch, little pink curtains, & a white picket fence.
and then it blew up.-the above paraphrases a poem i plagiarized & had published in a literary magazine, i think at the JC level... amazing!... here's the other one:
-little birdy on the tree with lovely breast of red
-i brought the window slowly down & crushed its little head.
- certainly i stole that one, too, & now the sentiment horrifies me. the other day in a conversation about mad, my favorite rag when i was a child, this jerk i know sputtered, "i hate that magazine! i was this innocent little kid & it turned me into a smarmy smart-a** cynic!" ... the comment perturbed & disturbed me. did mad hip me to society's absurdity or turn me into a snickering lout?? yes, probably both. such Qs only are pondered by people like me: middle-class, spare-timing, fleet-fingered, monkey-minded. no one cares in kansas or kathmandu, nor anyplace else. as they should not.
-my friend candye, the big-hearted, beloved superstar, was dumped recently by a prickly romeo w/pretensions of intellect. she will heal & grow. if rather than move on to his next victim he also should grow, all will be bettered, for no one should live life as an a**hole. it disrespects not just others, but oneself & in the end can lead only to despair. to quote my friend, "i... have spoken." la vie continue.
- evidence of this is i started moving today, to the mountaintop dump-cum-abode. many friends helped! i couldn't stop smiling... how wonderful it is to be supported by others, making me want to do so in return. thanks to mighty philip, mighty randy, the amazon carly, strong patty, smiling mo, mom & dad, & the two young bucks who unloaded the truck on the FP end, nimbly tossing furniture into the house like footballs, or beers, or things much lighter than furniture. all saved me hrs & hrs of work & many bruises, sprained fingers, & sundry hurts. it was move, sweat, & food drink food all day, & i'm grateful to've had the scratch to make it happen. great fun it was to man the big u-haul w/patty & mo shotgun & happy conversation singing thru the cab, singing like my heart.
- tomorrow will be another load, then it's blow this popstand for cleaner air &, i hope, a new life of good health & happiness, w/frequent jogs to bakerspatch & &swellay as well as consistent visits from friends & family.
- lastly, our show tonight was cancelled last second!! i was solemnly prepared to move all day, then grimly (tho w/big dippy grin on my face) soldier thru 4-hours of gig w/my similarly dog-tired pals, entertaining the crowd thru our exhaustion, humble showpeople that we are... so now instead i sit in my near-naked pad, typing this nonsense.
- all club/bar/saloon owners who promise to pay a flesh-and-blood, practiced, entertaining, fun loving, hard-working band & then last-second pick DJs over musicians should be pantsed & trash-canned!!!!! ... to the devil w/said booze slinger. to da devil!!!
- well, time to sign off. HAPPY WEEKEND TO ALL!! to quote alfred e, from the extraordinary & exalted flexi-disc 45, "it's a GAS!!!"!
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
the joint is jumpin, it's really jumpin, come in cats & check your hats, i mean this joint is jumpin!
See below for this Saturday's show... Friday's a semi-private deal, no booze, no dope, email me if you are interested... Look what else's up in June! Thanks for spreading the word. :) :)
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