it's peanut butter time, peanut butter, butter ti-i-i-ime

(sing to tune of "finger poppin' time.") i sang that & james told me, "i saw him do that live." of course, it couldn't just be that he saw hank ballard. he saw hank ballard backed by the blasters... which i only have a bootleg cd of. just by being alive, james always one-ups me, & he's never trying, he's just recounting his life. he's lived more than i have. i wouldn't still live if i'd lived his life... i'm stuffed right now on seasoned black beans & tortilla & rice & onion. it's kind of cold here. we're sposed to have another storm this wk, so we've spent all day working on the house & getting this property ready inside & out. i did every chore except the one i've been wanting to do for months: build a ramp to the little house (antoine pearl junior). might be a little skirrd of hurting myself. anyways, today's been fine even w/o ramp-building. the old man dog is clacking his toenails around the dining room as i type. james took our girl penny to the store. i really have nothing to talk about. did go to an inspiring mtg the other day, with ppl who are into positive action & have hope. that's important nowadays. it sure helped our mama, who's been devastated since november. ;

later that day, me & my big baboo went to a super-fun antique mall in downtown bakersfield, my old home of 25 yrs. so weird to go there now. all those people & cars & noise & stores & convenience. everything seems so much easier in suburbia-city. but also louder, unsafer, more startling, more chokey-aired. back to wagon wheel antique mall, we were having a great time in the funhouse-like place with peeks of the tunnels of downtown, & then james of course says he's been in the bakersfield tunnels, tho me & dad've been trying to get in them for decades, & moreover he knows all the tunnels of long beach... like i said, he's just done so much more than me. ok, i need to finish chores before shower & collapse. here are some pix.

terrible, rotten, unethical, monstrous pendejo

Coronation Fact Check, Live Update
response: Bernie Sanders Goes Scorched Earth on President Bone Spur's Inaugural Speech

the valley of the smokes, a glass jaw, the cinque terre

LA is on fire!! the santa anas are not just speaking, but roaring. james sez the LA basin is water on one side, mountains on the other, & the people of old called the area the valley of the smokes! i know the biggest one of all is on the west side. lots of wealth, LOTS. hope every one of the people affected by these fires has insurance that pays, & that the rest of us are able to absorb the blow when it affects our own premiums. bc you know it's gonna be rich to replace those mansions, restaurants, yachts, six-figure rides, & etc.

my cousins all are brilliant, but one in particular also got up to the 3rd rung working for elon musk, & he lives in the fires. he took his wife & child to safety. "we're not worried," he told his dad, my brilliant, kind uncle. "we're in a hotel." he could buy the hotel, james quipped.

i hope most people burned out of their lives have similar resources. but i think that's not the case.

have heard some of the blazes could be arson. humans are always the problem. always.

been having these bad pains, earaches & stabs in the skull & jaw, missed work, & being a hypochondriac, went wild on webmd & convinced myself i was a step from the grave. visited the young medico up here & he said it was tmj. it can happen when you talk a lot, he explained. i'm a teacher & a performer & i do a lot of singing, i said, & he said, that's it. i got a shot in the keester & meds & was on my way.

looked at my paperwork. he had diagnosed me as having a dislocated jaw.

turns out you can get one if you do the above, but also 3) eat crunchy or difficult-to-gnaw foods; or 4) yawn or sneeze with too-wide-a-mouth.

so beware..... of the snapping glass jaw!!

feeling much better now, stopped the meds, been doing these jaw exercises, & we happily spent the day working on our abode. it's january, but we've had the house open all day. the weather's that balmy. somehow that seems it could be related to the fires, but i dunno. climate seems wackier than when i was a kid, but maybe it's just that now i pay attention to it.

this picture is us at a stop on our vacation trip to palm springs. we ended up at the spaghetteria (bc it was next to a junk store), run by the rossis of florence. the waitress seemed brusque, so i went to the can with an attitude, spying walls lined with pix of movie stars & gangsters. on the way back to our table, an old woman who looked so familiar grinned at me from the kitchen with friendly snaggly teeth & sparkly downturned eyes. i used to see such faces when dad's italian family would assemble. i felt comforted, warm, even. the food came & the plain pasta was so much better than i could've dreamed, & james said his pizza was the best he'd ever had. as we left, a video show that had been going displayed the cinque terre, which is where grandpa gia came from. look look! i exclaimed. the gias are from there! la spezia. i was there lifetimes ago, but all i remember is seeing the pope on tv on sunday morning.

"wow, it's so beautiful," james said. "i wanna go there. let's go there."

i felt so happy bc now, with the changes james's made in his life & consequently ours, we might be able to do that. we'll just see.

a long life well-led

you can sign the condolence guest book and or donate here: jimmy carter center

santa claus is coming in a big black cadillac!!!!

we had the chango jam where we got to see little micky, her amazing 80 yr old roadie mama isabelle, ruben, jaime & daria, & others. at the school christmas show the next eve, we got to see my new boss mr m dancing & candy cane twirling like a parade majorette, dressed in high christmas dorky fun as mr gingerbread man. the guy will do anything to make the kids happy. james crouched in the sound area w/the great soundguy dwight as the 2nd-4th graders performed. mine came out & did their two elvis numbers. here is an awesome pic of two of my elvises (there were four).

how it worked out was we studied elvis's moves, his facial expressions, how he sang, how everyone either wanted to go out with or be elvis, then we had "elvis auditions" in class. every third grader that completed the audition (two ran off "the stage," which was simply the middle of the classroom) got to be part of the elvii show crew. as you can see, these two excelled in the costume department, & one, the jailhouse rock elvis, in the poses. the other, vegas elvis, did the mike & arm swing moves at showtime. all was cool, a bit strange mebbe, but great fun tho james reported some in the back row looked petrified w/stage fright. we'd had several sessions about how to overcome that, but i guess if you're only 8 yrs young & haven't been much on a stage, it's gonna happen... vacation has started & all is swell. happy holidays. :)

don't think the magic's gone

i got the best possible news & decided to make a video: https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipOUDlV0j1ji_0FOvKjS935mkatqw-jlFg0F6jaP

let's get ready to jingle & rock! "rockin' around the christmas tree at the christmas chango jam..."

here's the updated flyer. if you are nearby, please come to the show! manuel's (big manny's) high school's music program appreciates the support, plus it will be a great eve to pre-celebrate the holidays!

my sweet baboo, & sister, too

thanks to the u.s. gov (and childhood, teenagedom, & adulthood), my sweet baboo has had struggles. realization of these led to his decision last month to seek assistance. 24 days later, thanks to my sister, driver angie, i was able to travel to the nevada desert to visit my sweet baboo. we had such a nice time. here are pix: james & i times many, james posing on his balcony, then sister angie & i at omega mart las vegas & calico ghost town, & finally, back home with the mammal children. this was the first time my sister & i had a trip together, just the two of us. this made the whole adventure doubly special. may your holidays be gentle.

chango chango chanGO, chango chango chanGO

life is still on. am going to a different type of mtg now. got to the dump AND antique store. james has been "organizing" our booth, which means i spent 90 mins today beautifying it. "he's a man," said the lady who works there. i used to bristle at such statements, but some generalizations do seem truth.... i go to rx next fri. am curious what the numeros will be since stopping animal foods 2 mos ago. what effect will that have? will i be anemic? somehow in danger? when i find out, i will report here, if it be useful to readers... it's been interesting figuring out how to re-eat. the best foodstuffs i've found or already knew: 1) nutritional yeast (tastes like cheese, but research the types bc some contain phytoestrogens); 2) black salt (adds a meat-like funky umami flavor to stuff); coconut oil (slobber slobber); beans, the fabulous fruit; polenta; and, unfortunately, oreos. the "cream" in the middle is nothing but chemicals. nutritionally, this isn't good, but from the point of view of one trying not to each food that once had a face, it works for now... winter is coming here, bitterly cold winter... in the agida & soul-sickness department, nov 5 americans elected satan so they could save on groceries, yesterday a sad-&-ancient-looking mike tyson fought a human sh*tstain in a likely fix for beaucoup bucks, & seems even more than ever like idiocracy is the way of the day... so to quote ken nordine, "how are things in your world?"

loving ppl

is expensive!!!! mama says, it's just money. (if you have it, that is.) i can be lonesome & loaded or beloved & brokeish. i guess the latter is the one i'll keep going for!!!

hokelly smokelly!!!!

look what i just found!!!! Dusk Devils on Bandmine

three topics

1. health & illness

2. music

3. husband

so re numbero uno, trying to remove popcorn piece from maw, i used a nifty plastic toothpick, a device i'm new to, which i should have noted resembled a tiny sword, & accidentally but deftly stabbed my tender gum flesh, resulting in an electric shock & much blood. the spot was darn swole for some time, morphing into terrible head illness (i've noted here life'd be better if only for my head, & too bad i can't get around w/o it). jaw, gums, teeth, ear, throat, tonsil, the only things that didn't throb were my nostrils & eyeballs. after a very quick trip to the lone star state & worrying myself near to death about barometric pressure cabin changes that might possibly cause the infirm coconut to explode, i made it to the dentist.

"i hevv never seen this," the elderly european gent clipped. "your tooth iss goood... but the root iss infect-ed."

i called to moan to dearest father about this, thinking it something special. "oh yes," he said. "i've had two of those."

ah! heredity! also... stupidity! (in my case.)

now am on a hefty regimen of old-school antibiotics. the evil stabbing toothpicks are out front of the house in our curbside free little library, which has turned into the curbside free little junk stop. let some younger or smarter person deal with them. i am now swore off the things for life.

re music... there has been none w/james tho we WILL HAVE THE CHRISTMAS CHANGO JAM THIS YEAR!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!! i "play" each day at school, wonderful school, at which we sing patriotic songs each morning. ("john brown's body" is october's morbid tune -- it's so cool to teach little kids about him, let them decide that yes, he had the right idea, but he went about it the wrong way.) then the transition songs: now working w/littler ones -- which, how did i know would be so fun? --- i come up w/tunes on the fly all the time, & they jump right in, singing & dancing & moving along. how was i to know what a great little kid teacher i'd be?? how swell & rewarding it would be to teach little kids?? i just love it!!!

then their clean up songs: "linus & lucy" followed by "the pink panther."

boy, i just love these little kids, & this clean & safe school, & the fellowship amongst the adults. plus i get to still see many of the middle school kids, former students, as they wait for the bus at our school... who knew such a great job was waiting just one mile from this casa? every day as i drive to work (3 minutes!), i want to pinch myself. how did this happen???

topic 3: my husband, hurricane james, whom i love so very much, has an annoying habit of leaving, then losing his phone, or not charging his phone, or yaddayadda. fortunately, because i have this new job (3 minute drive!!), this impedes my life only a crumb. the house is so clean & quiet while he flies around this or that place in smellay & socal. i eat & write & watch on tv whatever i want.

however, we DO miss him. there is no james crashing & banging & singing & braying & smiling & grouching around the house, no stomping down the steps, no bb guns or potato guns firing into the arroyo, no booms from the basement like something from you can't take it with you, no cigarette smoke, no cigarette ashes, no messy piles & nests all around the house, basement, little house, & porches, no clomping steps & late-night singing & strumming & guffawing & crying & joke-yelling & cussing.

the animals lay forlornly across the couch, peering at the door. "where is daddy?" they seem to say.

i get into magic bed & all the covers are neatly arranged, instead of the usual seeming tornado-aftermath that is there.

i can complain, but i won't. my cousin in tx just says, "you gotta roll with it. life sucks, but you gotta look for the good moments." (i really have so many.)... and mama says, "there's no one like him." that is so true.

but tonight i will get into the soft, silent bed, the lovely smart bed with massage & adjustable head & foot & silky sheets & pillows, & without my hurricane here, even with my best intentions of reading or watching a show sordid or edifying, or playing a game, or exercising or meditating, i will drop off to sleep. just. like. that.

do some huggin' & lovin' at the county fair

i'm certain i've posted this before, but turns out james helped write that song, one of my favorites from phil alvin's county fair 2000 LP, being reissued without the names of ppl who helped on the project, such as james... we love county fairs. we went to the kern. a tiny fallow bell pepper sat in the soil at the outdoor ag exhibit. i put it in my bag, we got back to the gias', sliced & ate it, james, me & the gias... we will soon i hope go to the biggest fair in the country. we shall see what happens.

grateful!!!

still alive! over the latest bad cold! sun is shining! not too sore! still sober! loved ones are healthy! my new job is swell! there is always a chance for better! life is good! these pix: my 57th bd with dear parents & sister; dear james with sister sherri in seattle; happy visit with funny aunt pam & my favorite uncle ralph near seattle; dear mrs lorenza hughes, santa rita nm native, my mentor teacher, a gentle & admired nonagenarian, with mom & dad at dwk luncheon; 94 yr old dolores huerta leads the crowd in cheers for madame president; my former student matthew, who as a little boy looked like john belushi-meets-pugsley, returns from army leave to visit his old teacher; daisy the hyper lovebug takes a nap in sherri's lovely washington home.

happy birthday to me

happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me (tho without the other one, the sobriety bd, i likely wouldn't be having this one anymore.)

blablabla & then some of the things we remember

james doesn't want me to write about any of the snaky underhanded crap that happened, so i will just go blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablalbablablablablablablabalablablabalbalablabalbalablabalbalbalabalbalabalbalablabalbalablabalbalbalablabalbalablabalbalablabalablabalablabalbalbaalalabablaalabablababalablablablalalalbabalablalbabalalablablaalalbalablababalalabalalalaalalalalablabalbalbalaba
hahhhh
aaaahhhhhhh....swamp cooler... the smell of my childhood...
what are the senses of your childhood?
the sounds:
jenny: crickets, mourning doves, & trains.
james: the train going by. we lived in paramount & compton, & the train went right by our house.
jenny: we lived right by the train in fresno when we lived there for a year when i was a baby. and trains were everywhere i lived in bakersfield, on the east side & downtown. 42 years.
the music:
jenny: dad would sing songs with us & teach us to sing along: the union maid, billy barlow, & the gettystone light. & the christmas coke commercial with i'd like to teach the world to sing, so i was 2 & a half.
james: cartoons, bugs bunny & stuff. one of the earliest ones i saw was the one when cab calloway was the walrus. i didn't know who he was, but i remembered the hi-dee ho & the way he moved.
both: bad, bad leroy brown!
james: jim croce, you know he got drafted, & he met leroy brown, & leroy brown was a street hustler from the south side of chicago. he was like 6'9" and weighed 300 lbs, & he didn't wanna be in the army, it was just something to do, so when he got his pay, he just went back home. when my mom used to have me go to the bar to get my dad when he'd been up too long, he would have me up on the bar singing songs, & that was one of the songs. and then later, everybody went, bad bad whiteboy james cause i had two diamond rings, i had the custom continental & an el dorado, too, i had a 32 gun & a pocket full of fun, i had razors in my shoe, i liked to shoot dice, leroy brown liked to shoot dice...
the smells:
jenny: the swamp cooler, fideos & beans, & the burning smell of the wall heater. also what i now know is called petrichor -- the smell of the rain when we would get it.
james: produce at the market. the rotten produce, the fresh produce, the meat section, just all the food smells going on at little farmers.
the tastes:
jenny: fresh ripe delicious figs from grandma mary's and the ramirezes' trees. bottle cap candy from woolworth's. and tortillas with butter.
james: berries from the berry tree in the field by my house. there were the red ones & the blue ones. i used to sit in the tree and pretend i was a monkey. and we had a huge avocado tree in my yard. i used to sit in the tree & eat avocados all day. i have the perfect method. i can get the whole avocado out without making a mess. every once in a while i would put toothpicks in one & watch it sprout.
what did you see?
both: comic books & mad magazine. and the train caboose.

well, i ain't up to my baby tonight, cause it's too darn hot

when we went thru santa clarita the other day, the temp read 118 fahrenheit.
gadzooky!!! that is an all-time high for me.
the hottest i recall during my life in bakersfield was 114. thought that was bad!
today i read a comment: we are experiencing the unintended consequences of our actions. el cambio de clima es aqui!!!
james said in the middle east the mercury would hit the 120s. americans in combat gear would pass out from the suffocating & unrelenting conditions. on this occasion, a scary story once again was breezily relayed by mister james, who's lived thru more of those than any bless-ed pack of humans i've ever met.
today i did so little, just sapped, i guess, by the torporous [sic] heat. i managed to lay some tile in the bathroom & cleaned & read, but it not much compared to the usual 24-hours. focusing on the animals, wetting them down, giving them lots of water, kept me busy. after all, i'm not wearing a fur coat while going thru this.
the tiny home named bluey, our new one, now features a kick-butt little a/c, but james & his buddy were working on the little blue one, so i stayed away. that will be a cool retreat for the family during upcoming hot days.
lately have watched a few german horror/sci-fi films of note: anatomie (2000) & (a better film) anatomie 2 (2003). creepy, cautionary premiseeees, to be sure. i also recommend the thoughtful & devastating fiction continental drift by the great russell banks. today i started joe gould's teeth by jill lepore of the new yorker. that one looks to be a deep but snappy read. as for music lately? there's been bupkis since i subbed w/james's band.
on a few nice notes, however, we celebrated my 29th sobriety bd at a peaceful motel in 1000 oaks & enjoyed a wonderful meal at pickle's deli ("want some pickles?" the polite mebbe-owner asked, appearing out of nowhere, & yes yes, we did!) & yesterday i got to visit my friend marjorie finally. she left the hill when her family placed her at kingsley manor in west hollywood, an expansive 1939 brownstone where she can eat well in an art deco dining hall with white tablecloths, enjoy a community of friends, & gaze upon the los angeles & hollywood skylines from a gorgeous rooftop. so happy my beautiful friend is now safe & cared for.

the saga of antoine pearl

i got antoine from a yard in santa barbara X years ago. don't remember if it was before or after the pandemic! we fixed him up, then my folks decided they would not want to stay in him. he was named after fats domino and the little girl from night of the hunter. (those are names i'd thought of for the children i never birthed.) then a big storm came & ripped the skylight off the bathroom & caused a living room leak. then we bought bluey, so antoine was pulled to the 2nd driveway. then there was an earthquake & he nearly came off his moorings. then angie sister said she would like to have him for a sewing/art studio. then her husband had some crazy idea of lifting antoine over their house with a crane & setting him down in their backyard. then of course that never happened because they would've had to contact the city, shut down the street, pay large fees, & why not just clean off the driveway & put antoine there instead? but oh well. now bluey is about to really, truly get his electrical installed. then all i have to do is turn the stairs so they are safer for mama to climb (well, actually, it will be a helluva job bc the stairs are really heavy) & hook up the water. then bluey will be ready for visitors. and now antoine pearl is for sale on ebay. i am afraid to look at the seller ratings bc i think someone put bad feedback from when i was selling books yrs back. and maybe for something james sold, like a record player. but anyways, here is the link. au revoir, antoine. i loved you for a while. https://www.ebay.com/itm/166842297418?itmmeta=01J1AWPY0ZPDTB43KF8J9127DK&hash=item26d8936c4a:g:ObwAAOSwR7RmfEhL&itmprp=enc%3AAQAJAAAA4EqH9%2B8Tct7BOoalIgLABglayO6W0VwqfVBtwnLPB3HEFMGOaMe31H5Yp%2Fn%2FMd67eHi7yJgcVWxTLWyQpZPEWx0sbB6M5LOKW2zuKyc%2BdXO%2F%2BByYpOJQcxVE1Q%2BWt%2FtYv62FkH0gzgOLjIbPCbRt0HozRoumvsyFQIasFhSJrnSeFKZ2bi1k%2B%2FCa4h2QepUPGmSOc76GUB%2BzQTc2bOhw52eqHS6pXC80Kl2%2Bq3BERgEsxMIumJvDudYhpK1yvpH5tuzi5MFTxwo2%2BSqKPBk5imERT9QyeF5itbQ8Kf%2FT%2BzrV%7Ctkp%3ABFBMzuDb3Ipk

tcb!

we are having a productive and positive summer so far! here is a pic from the other day. i filled in on "bass" and afterward thought, now why didn't i just practice some & then bring a bass? thank you to paula b for the pic. happy summer to all. :)

ps, the biggest bummer of late is the squirrel living in our kitchen.

Ronnie Mack's Barn Dance in Bakersfield

this was a fundraiser for our friends craig garrison and kathy kennedy, musicians. in feb, kathy was diagnosed with leukemia. she & craig have been clotheslined by the medical bills & expense of commuting 3x/wk to city of hope in so cal. the event was highly successful, in my estimate, tho i didn't see the final monies tally. standout for me was seeing old friends & making new, playing with the house band (esp ernie lewis & bob reynolds), getting to sing lots of harmonies, my set w my darling james, backing him later, james the force of nature, seeing sister angie & bro doug, & being part of a good thing. few a**holes were there, mostly just friendly folks wanting to have fun & help out. thank you to kind-hearted ronnie & friendly, feisty tammy for including us. kip of fishlips now runs the old train depot rustic rail, & i hope we'll go back under happier mission.