grateful!!!

still alive! over the latest bad cold! sun is shining! not too sore! still sober! loved ones are healthy! my new job is swell! there is always a chance for better! life is good! these pix: my 57th bd with dear parents & sister; dear james with sister sherri in seattle; happy visit with funny aunt pam & my favorite uncle ralph near seattle; dear mrs lorenza hughes, santa rita nm native, my mentor teacher, a gentle & admired nonagenarian, with mom & dad at dwk luncheon; 94 yr old dolores huerta leads the crowd in cheers for madame president; my former student matthew, who as a little boy looked like john belushi-meets-pugsley, returns from army leave to visit his old teacher; daisy the hyper lovebug takes a nap in sherri's lovely washington home.

happy birthday to me

happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me (tho without the other one, the sobriety bd, i likely wouldn't be having this one anymore.)

blablabla & then some of the things we remember

james doesn't want me to write about any of the snaky underhanded crap that happened, so i will just go blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablalbablablablablablablabalablablabalbalablabalbalablabalbalbalabalbalabalbalablabalbalablabalbalbalablabalbalablabalbalablabalablabalablabalbalbaalalabablaalabablababalablablablalalalbabalablalbabalalablablaalalbalablababalalabalalalaalalalalablabalbalbalaba
hahhhh
aaaahhhhhhh....swamp cooler... the smell of my childhood...
what are the senses of your childhood?
the sounds:
jenny: crickets, mourning doves, & trains.
james: the train going by. we lived in paramount & compton, & the train went right by our house.
jenny: we lived right by the train in fresno when we lived there for a year when i was a baby. and trains were everywhere i lived in bakersfield, on the east side & downtown. 42 years.
the music:
jenny: dad would sing songs with us & teach us to sing along: the union maid, billy barlow, & the gettystone light. & the christmas coke commercial with i'd like to teach the world to sing, so i was 2 & a half.
james: cartoons, bugs bunny & stuff. one of the earliest ones i saw was the one when cab calloway was the walrus. i didn't know who he was, but i remembered the hi-dee ho & the way he moved.
both: bad, bad leroy brown!
james: jim croce, you know he got drafted, & he met leroy brown, & leroy brown was a street hustler from the south side of chicago. he was like 6'9" and weighed 300 lbs, & he didn't wanna be in the army, it was just something to do, so when he got his pay, he just went back home. when my mom used to have me go to the bar to get my dad when he'd been up too long, he would have me up on the bar singing songs, & that was one of the songs. and then later, everybody went, bad bad whiteboy james cause i had two diamond rings, i had the custom continental & an el dorado, too, i had a 32 gun & a pocket full of fun, i had razors in my shoe, i liked to shoot dice, leroy brown liked to shoot dice...
the smells:
jenny: the swamp cooler, fideos & beans, & the burning smell of the wall heater. also what i now know is called petrichor -- the smell of the rain when we would get it.
james: produce at the market. the rotten produce, the fresh produce, the meat section, just all the food smells going on at little farmers.
the tastes:
jenny: fresh ripe delicious figs from grandma mary's and the ramirezes' trees. bottle cap candy from woolworth's. and tortillas with butter.
james: berries from the berry tree in the field by my house. there were the red ones & the blue ones. i used to sit in the tree and pretend i was a monkey. and we had a huge avocado tree in my yard. i used to sit in the tree & eat avocados all day. i have the perfect method. i can get the whole avocado out without making a mess. every once in a while i would put toothpicks in one & watch it sprout.
what did you see?
both: comic books & mad magazine. and the train caboose.

well, i ain't up to my baby tonight, cause it's too darn hot

when we went thru santa clarita the other day, the temp read 118 fahrenheit.
gadzooky!!! that is an all-time high for me.
the hottest i recall during my life in bakersfield was 114. thought that was bad!
today i read a comment: we are experiencing the unintended consequences of our actions. el cambio de clima es aqui!!!
james said in the middle east the mercury would hit the 120s. americans in combat gear would pass out from the suffocating & unrelenting conditions. on this occasion, a scary story once again was breezily relayed by mister james, who's lived thru more of those than any bless-ed pack of humans i've ever met.
today i did so little, just sapped, i guess, by the torporous [sic] heat. i managed to lay some tile in the bathroom & cleaned & read, but it not much compared to the usual 24-hours. focusing on the animals, wetting them down, giving them lots of water, kept me busy. after all, i'm not wearing a fur coat while going thru this.
the tiny home named bluey, our new one, now features a kick-butt little a/c, but james & his buddy were working on the little blue one, so i stayed away. that will be a cool retreat for the family during upcoming hot days.
lately have watched a few german horror/sci-fi films of note: anatomie (2000) & (a better film) anatomie 2 (2003). creepy, cautionary premiseeees, to be sure. i also recommend the thoughtful & devastating fiction continental drift by the great russell banks. today i started joe gould's teeth by jill lepore of the new yorker. that one looks to be a deep but snappy read. as for music lately? there's been bupkis since i subbed w/james's band.
on a few nice notes, however, we celebrated my 29th sobriety bd at a peaceful motel in 1000 oaks & enjoyed a wonderful meal at pickle's deli ("want some pickles?" the polite mebbe-owner asked, appearing out of nowhere, & yes yes, we did!) & yesterday i got to visit my friend marjorie finally. she left the hill when her family placed her at kingsley manor in west hollywood, an expansive 1939 brownstone where she can eat well in an art deco dining hall with white tablecloths, enjoy a community of friends, & gaze upon the los angeles & hollywood skylines from a gorgeous rooftop. so happy my beautiful friend is now safe & cared for.

the saga of antoine pearl

i got antoine from a yard in santa barbara X years ago. don't remember if it was before or after the pandemic! we fixed him up, then my folks decided they would not want to stay in him. he was named after fats domino and the little girl from night of the hunter. (those are names i'd thought of for the children i never birthed.) then a big storm came & ripped the skylight off the bathroom & caused a living room leak. then we bought bluey, so antoine was pulled to the 2nd driveway. then there was an earthquake & he nearly came off his moorings. then angie sister said she would like to have him for a sewing/art studio. then her husband had some crazy idea of lifting antoine over their house with a crane & setting him down in their backyard. then of course that never happened because they would've had to contact the city, shut down the street, pay large fees, & why not just clean off the driveway & put antoine there instead? but oh well. now bluey is about to really, truly get his electrical installed. then all i have to do is turn the stairs so they are safer for mama to climb (well, actually, it will be a helluva job bc the stairs are really heavy) & hook up the water. then bluey will be ready for visitors. and now antoine pearl is for sale on ebay. i am afraid to look at the seller ratings bc i think someone put bad feedback from when i was selling books yrs back. and maybe for something james sold, like a record player. but anyways, here is the link. au revoir, antoine. i loved you for a while. https://www.ebay.com/itm/166842297418?itmmeta=01J1AWPY0ZPDTB43KF8J9127DK&hash=item26d8936c4a:g:ObwAAOSwR7RmfEhL&itmprp=enc%3AAQAJAAAA4EqH9%2B8Tct7BOoalIgLABglayO6W0VwqfVBtwnLPB3HEFMGOaMe31H5Yp%2Fn%2FMd67eHi7yJgcVWxTLWyQpZPEWx0sbB6M5LOKW2zuKyc%2BdXO%2F%2BByYpOJQcxVE1Q%2BWt%2FtYv62FkH0gzgOLjIbPCbRt0HozRoumvsyFQIasFhSJrnSeFKZ2bi1k%2B%2FCa4h2QepUPGmSOc76GUB%2BzQTc2bOhw52eqHS6pXC80Kl2%2Bq3BERgEsxMIumJvDudYhpK1yvpH5tuzi5MFTxwo2%2BSqKPBk5imERT9QyeF5itbQ8Kf%2FT%2BzrV%7Ctkp%3ABFBMzuDb3Ipk

tcb!

we are having a productive and positive summer so far! here is a pic from the other day. i filled in on "bass" and afterward thought, now why didn't i just practice some & then bring a bass? thank you to paula b for the pic. happy summer to all. :)

ps, the biggest bummer of late is the squirrel living in our kitchen.

Ronnie Mack's Barn Dance in Bakersfield

this was a fundraiser for our friends craig garrison and kathy kennedy, musicians. in feb, kathy was diagnosed with leukemia. she & craig have been clotheslined by the medical bills & expense of commuting 3x/wk to city of hope in so cal. the event was highly successful, in my estimate, tho i didn't see the final monies tally. standout for me was seeing old friends & making new, playing with the house band (esp ernie lewis & bob reynolds), getting to sing lots of harmonies, my set w my darling james, backing him later, james the force of nature, seeing sister angie & bro doug, & being part of a good thing. few a**holes were there, mostly just friendly folks wanting to have fun & help out. thank you to kind-hearted ronnie & friendly, feisty tammy for including us. kip of fishlips now runs the old train depot rustic rail, & i hope we'll go back under happier mission.

james arthur page sr., age 58; neeli, rip; sicksicksicksick, so often sick

my cuckoo, my fine man, was sick on his bd at his bd show in long beach, so i ended up singing a lot more than i wanted to (ppl had come to see james, not me) & we tried our best without hurricane james at the helm. there were many ppl; the place was packed. the photos are me earlier that day trying to see the rip in my fishnets (i lifted the wrong leg) & watching james run out of the room in his bd suit. i post the pix bc am continually shocked, throughout this life, when i see images of me that resemble a "normal" woman instead of what the sworling maelstrom in my mind, in those darkest moments, thinks i be... james is better today & off to another show, & i have been very ill. this is the second day i have missed work... my boss complains of ppl being absent on weds, when we have staff mtgs, but i am barred from today's. i tried to get someone to call me so i could listen in, but she said no. i know that i tried, & my side of the street is swept, but just hope colleagues fill me in so i'm not totally out of the loop, as so often i be.... found out i have a new student. i called her mother to apologize for my absences; the young woman replied, "it's more important that you get well! she'll be ok! take tomorrow off, too!" it sounds like the child has been bullied. am eager to meet her & try to help her. i remember my long-past life being bullied. no child should feel afraid to go to school... i work in a petrie dish (public school), & the poor kids have been "dropping like flies," said boss corey. the latest something is a vicious one, a covid-variant, mebbe. mama said, you need to wear a mask!, & i fear that she is right!... an opportunity to change careers arose recently. it would allow me more time w/mom & dad, james, time to help teacher candidates go forth & serve students... but also to not get sick so often. historically it has been rough for me to work in schools with all the wee disease vectors swarming about. i love them, but my immune system doesn't... in sad news, one of my new college teachers, neeli cherkowski, passed "into the next realm" yesterday. he had been an acolyte of bukowski's in the '60s. a hirsute, chubby, brainy man from LA who ended up in SF & made his life there, he became that city's poet laureate one year. he resembled buddy hackett, poor man, but was beautiful in the way he spoke: about how all humans are the same, since humankind rose from the muck, all having the same brainpan as well as needs for love, connection, meaning. that hit me, & it still does. "we're all red meat & white bone underneath," said carl lee perkins. rest in peace, dear teacher.

ps, the last pic is me & "AC," ebullient, fiery, forever-boyish blues express guitarist & friend of us both.

Dex r.i.p. and more

dexter romweber passed away. the music world is much diminished. 😞 dictating, using speech to text. all errors are not sic. just finished watching a stunning show from BBC by way of hulu, am I being unreasonable. funny, twisty, sad, shocking. what terrific scripting and acting! I have not seen anything like it, the way it showed how grief and loneliness can create such a mess of one's life. quite worthwhile! ... been waiting since December to see poor things. the lobster's one of my most favorite movies ever, so I am highly hopeful. heard this morning on NPR about, among other topics, an AI video platform called sora that is causing Hollywood to quake in its britches. so I pulled up a free speech to video site right here on my little phone. it was far from Sora quality, but within 3 minutes I was watching a video I had just suggested: "an exciting film about Chuck Berry and Elvis Presley playing a show with the Frankenstein monster." there were glitches, but how astounding that the video was generated in a relative instant! ... not too much else is up except the low level confusion and terror surrounding the possible outcome of November's election. why hasn't McDonald's taken its toll? what kind of weird ass evil bizarro world are we in these days? i truly wish hunter s. thompson still were alive to bring outraged comfort. and definitely george carlin! anyways, back to the nearer & more explicable, sup

posed to be another storm coming this weekend. maybe we'll get out before it happens and go to visit the family. to end this post, so readers can see that we have not yet completely melted into troglodytes, here are James and I at Valentine's Day. still not pushing up daisies. we are quite fortunate that way. well it's time to do the dishes and then some Pilates, I guess. and tomorrow my big baboo will be home and we'll practice.

a good day to be a human

it's a good day to be breathing, to still be alive, to be a human. i decided to make a cover for dad's book this morning. astoundingly quick was the process! i did this on canva in about 1 hour w "help" of a.i.... the verb's in quotes bc of its implication of agency... dad & mom were so delighted by the cover results, i am happy to have used cyber means. (ignore the stupid blue outlines. i forgot to unclick them before screenshotting the images.)

last foggy evening, james & i were noshing at carl's jr in gorman when we noticed that the drive-through voice was eerily measured & pleasant. sure enough, the chain & a score of others have gone to using a.i. for drive-up service. james, of course, immediately riffed on all the profane ways he would deal w/such an entity... in bakersfield, i ordered doordash or grubhub or some damn thing for mom & dad, too tired to make dinner. the next morn, dad asked alexa what was the temperature in frazier park, to see if it was a good moment for me to get home. the a.i. assistant reported the stats, then added, "and by the way, remember to thank your driver for last night's delivery." if we'd been sucking on mints, dad & i would've swallowed them whole at that moment as we goggled at each other. she knows. ... who would've predicted the ease with which our culture has invited into our homes big brother? we volunteer with eagerness to install into our private spaces the all-knowing screens & devices. yes, everything is so damn easy now... we hardly have to use our limbs; the tech does it all! (picture the movie "wall-e," with its helplessly vestigial humans, but even that brilliant film didn't foresee the machines' takeover of our private spaces!) it all is frigging creepy to me, & so i'm glad to be back in my funky, analog mountain home. if i want a.i.'s help, all i have to do is push a button & speak into my phone, but i choose to do that. as far as i can tell, nothing is listening in, & that's how we want it!

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this has been a really, really, really weird week. anyways, some good came of it bc yesterday & today i edited dad's book, which has been hanging around his neck albatross-in-cement-shoes-like. and spending much time with the dear parents and dog furrrballl muffins. and i made a teepublic store for james shirts. i guess i did that part backwards bc it turns out most ppl don't make 10 cents on teepublic, but at least i got some cool designs up. and it could be a place for me to put my own visual art, which is a something i haven't indulged in in quite a spell. i sure hope to go home tomorrow tho it's nice to be here, where there are stores & sidewalks... but also smoagg. (think of the song "let's have a war," fear.) and i hope that my james will be all better soon. geez, i'm so exhausted i can't even move. brain tiredness can be as wiping-assout as body tiredness. time for a showwwwwa. here is the link to the store, and a picture of it, too: http://tee.pub/lic/MOxlzrZRhag

courtin´ mortis, mucha nuthin´

wow, i haven blobbed in a good long while. was deathly ill for a month, tho no covid. we went to a funny, dadaist place called omegamart. quite a good one for two who grew up on mad mag. and we tramped thru an abandoned motel. there´ve been other events. mostly i am spending moolah like a madperson. tis the season.

this sat

for our 3rd set, we have batted around the idea of doing the entire first blasters album from start to finish. oh, would that be cool!!! we blew thru it a few weeks ago. we both know it so well, it was like magic, like the stuff i was reading about this morn in the forbes interview with sir roger penrose, like clairvoyance & memory & the uncanny & the time loop. today's haunted house was such fun for all. i barely made it home & fell in bed. then home was the hunter, home from the hills, the sailor home from the sea. he needed a flyer, so i made the above. i reposted my weird interpretation of the weird song sinner (on this blog, october 2015). was gonna watch a horror flick. guess there still might be time. blegh. happy howloween!

i hate

adulting.

spooky, gooey, oogyboogy, wrestling for rory

last night was spooky, reminding me of that scene from night of the hunter where lillian gish waits on her nighttime screened porch, shotgun across her lap, while the evil rev. harry powell (robert mitchum) lurks outside, singing a gospel hymn in a sonorous baritone that echoes eerily in the darkness. he´s trying to get in, he's trying to get at the kids in the house, he wants to kill them all in the name of the lord, he´s a scary, sexy, southern gothic boogyman. the version here, far less sinister, from last night, was something that happens just occasionally, james said he´s surprised not more often. someone came up the road playing an eery harmonica, then planted himself across from the house and played and played and played that harmonica in the direction of our place. someone was beckoning james to come outside, to get james´s attention, but james wasn´t in the house, so it spooked me. he´s here now & says ¨someone´s gonna get an a**whipping.¨... am home from work today bc of pink eye, which is a gross, gooey condition, if you´ve had it. and i feel drained, weak, awake but submerged. the immune system must be ebbing.... james´s friend tattoo mike just arrived & they are going to level the tiny home. yaaaaaaay!!! meanwhile, i will grade papers & rest... sister angie´s double-nickel bd is this weekend & for her bd, she gifted herself by having her book be kindle-published that day. (later will come paper tomes for those who prefer the physical read.) angie has been long-obsessed w/pro-wrestling, & her novel novel combines that subculture w/early hollywood woman film-makers, california indigenous people history/ways, punk references, & romance. attached is a pic & a link. :) angie always has been a highly capable, talented type-a person, as you can see; she labors hard & with creativity, always producing much!... back to work news, the school haunted house & after-school ¨spooky slumber party¨ play are going well. my little group of theatre/drama girls is weird & talented. they will put on a great little show. that is all. as you were.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJVSJCCR?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_7B6KDBQEPYWBN869TZ29&fbclid=IwAR3OZGcJeo8yq6dN0fhBR4uUiSlijFl5xEQe76u5fea67O0d_I1uBril8Y0