one more sober trip around the sun + fun in the casa

a nice man i knew used to say something similar to the former (above) about his birthday, but i use it to explain that on july 4, i celebrated 27 yrs without illegal drugs or alcohol. in somewhat celebration, we made these home videos. the 1st one is insane & brilliant. https://www.facebook.com/jamesandjenny.page/videos/1006756236698680/... we have been playing blasters songs together, so the next video is that. we both have the blasters´ catalogue in our dna alongside chuck berryś, so it is just a matter of getting the fingers to cooperate. (so glad i have completed all of my home projects so that my fingers can heal.) (they were not healed in this video & in fact got stuck a few times. ow!!!) https://www.facebook.com/100004546745776/videos/1056121651946644/... james does hank wms extraordinarily well since he so deeply feels the lyrics. here is an example: https://www.facebook.com/100004546745776/videos/528440612397367/... lastly is a frank stokes song which i was told we do in the piedmont style, tho that is accidental (but cool to learn). https://www.facebook.com/100004546745776/videos/1165649637550138/... the videos merited an enormous number of positive social media comments as did the real-world gig the other eve, which we did with lee campbell on the drums. it was an outside party but went extremely well. the band was happy & played so solidly, it was not at all like lee had been off as jamesś drummer for over 20 yrs. adding to the good was that the hosts provided a stage AND shade, unheard of in my experience when playing in someone´s yard. i could not have been happier unless we somehow had a teleporter to get us quickly back to our mountain home afterward bc we were so exhausted after playing a full night after so much time off.... that was a very long & cumbersome sentence, but oh well. ok, time for beddy-bye. this has been my low-key entry. may all be good in your world.

twiddletwiddletwiddle & starting over

sitting here for a bit twiddling my thumbs waiting on a few possible return calls/emails. might not get them! i understand if i don´t. we´ĺl see what happens! ... we went to taft to register the beast of a camper van. it was hotter than blazes. james had not been there since we went to rosco´s funeral. rosco was a great human, a funny, kind-hearted guy disguised as a dirty old man. he was important in our lives long ago, & important to james as a friend! he used to set up james´s shows at the oasis, an atmospheric, drunken hole-in-the-wall w/a large neon sign & ¨secret¨ back room said to be from prohibition days ... initially, our trip kind of sucked w/sad feelings about how rosco & the oasis, too, were no longer there & how it was so dang hot, waawaaawaa, grumblegrumblegrumble.... but then we took a minute to start the day over & almost immediately the tide turned! we wandered into the neatest junk store & found out from one of the storeś proprietors that the oasis has reopened! we bought neat junk! then we finally went to eat at asian experience, a restaurant touted by ¨that douchbag¨ guy fieri on tv (we walked in & james pointed, ¨thereś that douchebag!¨ at the big pic of the slickly famous chef on the restaurant wall). i´ve wanted to eat there for a decade, so now we´d get to see what the fuss was about! we shared a garlic pizza that was about the best i´ve ever had in california. the crust definitely was brick-oven-baked!... taft now has a nice grocery outlet, so that was the next stop. we were able to get all kinds of goodies at about half the price of the big supermarkets. :) the drive home was lovely, long shadows falling on the golden mountains & hillsides, fields filled with fruit & nut trees... so there is something to be said for starting the day over bc in this case, it truly worked.

bumbumbumbumbumbumbumbum

-we just sat together & played music on various instruments for quite some time. it started when i dusted off my old kay guitar to attach to it this gadget that arrived in the mail. i thought it would allow me to press a button & play full guitar chords, but it doesn´t. all it is is a panel with buttons that affixes to the guitar neck & instead of using your fingers to make the chords, you push the buttons. so it really does not do much. oh well!... but the guitar was out, so i was in a strumming/picking mood & unbagged my bass, which hasn´t been out to breathe in years. james played his resonator & i the bass & he sang & i backed up on vocals, then we switched to harmonica (him) and me (keyboard piano). and now we are done but it was sure fun, clams & all. can´t wait til he finishes the basement studio so we can have the drums & bass always hooked up & we can play down there any time we want without having to break everything down at the end like we do now. (he´d be happy to leave it all out, but i like the house to be tidy. we run a fine line here between funky eccentric palace of curiosities & hoarder dump.) yes, to have a house studio will be wunderbar. before that, i likely will have my homemade sauna ready, least i hope it will be. what fun it is to work on all of these projects. what fun life is at this moment. even with horrible news in the world. we can make a difference in the lives of those around us, just being who we are. my difference can always be positive now with my head full of 12 steps & body nearing 27 yrs clean & sober. james´s difference can be positive, making people love & laugh & thrill to be near him or negative, making them wish they´d never been born when he pounds the living crap out of them. but he only does that to those who cross him bad, or those who hurt the innocent. in that sense, i am married to batman. mixed with mel blanc. mixed with mike tyson. mixed with the coolest rocknroll american music singer-player i know. james.... - lately i´ve been exercising too much, resulting in less blubber but terrible headaches, so iḿ gonna go rest for a bit... ¨-when i see the many, i cannot act. when i see the one, i can.¨ - paraphrasing mother teresa, this quote applies to us all. may we act for the greater good by doing good to those we meet on the road of life. badumpdump.

yumyumyumyumyum

... food, glorious food, to quote a tune from my earliest favorite movie, oliver, from the novel by the great social activist-writer & performer charles dickens... i am very lucky because unlike oliver twist & unlike far too many on this earth, i often get to enjoy good meals. am reading a book called $2 A DAY. many ppl do not get to have the food choices i have, or maybe that you have, if you are reading this. it is a startling, gut-punch of an eye-opening read, highly worth grabbing, if you see it. have had to take it in small sections bc the book's info steals one's breath & haunts sleep, the way tragedy does. ... yesterday we mealed with the gia family at a posh place near the kern river canyon. its entry featured the largest wrought iron chandelier i've ever seen, a stunning killer of a thing. the walls were adorned with lovely art, particularly a california impressionist painting of now i can't remember. the service was glacial. niece maddy said, rich ppl don't rush. i don't know if that's true. i've thought rich ppl want what they want, when they want it, & they get it. maybe she means europeans. that's what classy papa said as we exited, about 90 mins after the meal started: instead of, my god, your service was terrible, i'm never coming back here again, he smiled & said, you're giving diners the european experience, letting your patrons take their time & not feel rushed while they eat. yes, dad was super happy with the whole thing. he wanted james to try to get a gig there & even brought it up to the proprietor, but james kept catching my eye & mouthing "no." "i would be fired before we finished the first set," he said, & i realized james the blue comedian blues shouter, yes, this tidy chichi low-energy spot of giant windows with rolling vineyard views & politely coiffed country clubbers sipping wine, no, that's no spot for f-bomb king james, the baudy sorceror of sound, nor for me since i don't wanna be anyplace he is not accepted. ... he & maddy both ordered the same dish & their food was not good, but my tacos were one of the yummiest dishes i've ever had. the order was a risk because the name was gross: mushroom & onion tacos. yech. but from the first bite, the tacos were pure succulent umami flavor, shockingly delicious. i had to refrain from groaning with pleasure with eat bite -- they were that good. ... today we sailed, then stopped, then sailed in the accordion formation that is socal traffic, heading for sister sherri's in north orange county. we had such a great day! staying married this long has made for the best life i've ever had. james regaled with story after story, & we sang & air-played along to chuck berry, making googoo eyes as we barked & yelled out our favorite song lines & loudly sang the solos, even, a team in our chuck berry knowledge & fervent fandom. today was yes, the most fun ever one-dayer with james! ... sherri & ben took everyone to sizzler where i again got tasty food, especially the vegetable-heavy salad topped with raisins & sunflower seeds, then splashed with oil & vinegar. sizzler's cheese toast was just as salty-fatty delicious as i remember. the best part was, i got to order from the sr menu so my portions were reasonable. i always make sure i order the cheapest item, no matter who pays. they might not know, but i do. i'm lucky that way, knowing pretty certainly that i will have another meal coming. so i do not have to take advantage of anyone who buys me a meal, & i never will. ...i've taken advantage of people in other ways, of course, but i'm working on making up for those sins & errors. i will at least not commit them today, & if i watch myself, tomorrow, either. one more delicious item to eat: at michoacana ice cream in bakersfield, they sell not just food items like mouth-watering tortas, but paletas, which you must know are creamy mexican popsicles. last week i ordered a PISTACHIO paleta, crammed with chunks of the nuts, absolutely wonderful, & as i turned to leave, noticed they also sell paletas made with pecans... and pine nuts! --- here is a nice pic of james that dad took at the chichi restaurant. i had been crying all morning (it happens about every 9 months or so) & don't look so good, but he sure does, so i publish it here.

gradgiation

...this eve our 8th graders gradgiated, and it was the nicest ceremony ever! i was able to fully enjoy each moment without worrying about stupid varying neurotic bothers such as what people were thinking of me (they weren't). the kids! their speeches, their happiness, their dreams, their trepidations, their nervousness, their smiliness, their lovely formal clothings with gorgeous dresses & gigantic heels & tennis shoes & ties & even a suit, their appreciation of teachers & especially corey (our boss): it was all just-right, heart-warming, kinda-moving, bigtime happy-making. i was mighty glad to be a part... then i came home, ate 10 lbs of cereal, & went on zoom to meet my sponsor. she was too tired to get together which was a good thing bc my makeup had melted & been eaten away along w the raisin bran. what had left the house looking like a somewhat-glamorous & together middle-aged woman now resembled bozo the clown... one more day of work! meantime, james might be embarking on a new career on the same day i end mine for the school year. my hopes for him are high! he is talented, gregarious, genuine (even when being a weirdo goofy manic ham). i believe in him! he can do whatever he puts his mind to. my man!... ok, goodnight for now :D

flipflopflipflopflipflop

- i inherited dad's tendency to overresearch a thing, then discard it. we got the camper van, from a broad-smiling fellow in rosedale who actually said, "aren't you jenny angel?" and turns out he had seen us when we opened for coco montoya... & used to go to dusk devils show. what?!?!? james was very enthusiastic about the camper van. i liked it at the time. but now i don't want it. but we have to try to like it, so we will take it for a trip when the cat is better. this past week, we were told he either has a bad infection... or cancer. cheese and crackers. he seems to be improving after yesterday having a walking dead eyeball that made me gag when i saw him. maybe something bad inside him ruptured & is leaving him. i hope. - made 2 flyers this week, first for the band, then the guest drummer, david wulfekuehler, got sick, so we had to cancel, then james decided he & i would do the show, so here are the two flyers, since i made them & i think they are cool.

- we just put a bunch of stuff on facebook marketplace to sell, so you should go look. some items already are getting a bite. at our antique spot, we are the #2 sellers. i am happy with this since i don't think we'll stop bringing home junk, so it's nice to have a place to put it besides in our house. right now james is on a ladder putting up my weather vane, which i got from our friend when we helped her clean her yard & an old shed made of a fishing boat bottom. i think james will be bringing that home next week, too. yipes! this morn he also brought home a 300 lb alien statue he named zabar. he had shown me the darn thing before, in its artist's front yard. so i guess he was putting down payments on it, then a friend of his from down south showed up in town & bought it for him. zabar was paraded down the main street during yesterday's car show, & now he is in our yard, sculpted from a giant log "from the day fire," said his creator, who is a stained glass expert & who told a story of making a rare-gem clock face that was installed at michael jackson's creepy palace. zabar's eyes are abalone & he gleams like a beautiful lizard. james was hugging him, so i guess i will have to learn to love him, too. - also need to learn to love that our house is starting to look like fred sanford's junkyard. tho we hope we eventually will have a roadside attraction. i hope it won't end up looking like the home of insane hoarders. time will tell! - we are heading for the city soon to stay in a hotel with a pool, gym, & breakfast. that way we can go to the movies, since there are no theatres here. (downside of rural living: not many amenities.) so back to the music, the show, well, it was, from a musical standpoint... interesting. i need a new amp & james needs to get his basement studio done so we actually can practice regularly. the audience, however, was very positive. a young man said, at the end, "your voice is soft, and then you unleash that growl on us and we all go whoah! where did that come from?" that was a truly-cool compliment! - our amps & instruments might not've been up to par in my mind, but james's voice sounded strong & mighty, & mine sounded good, too, on a few songs. i especially love when we do blasters tunes so i can play a semblance of gene taylor's (r.i.p., friend) solos. we both know those records so well, it's natural. we can do it. and those songs are stomping! ... i hope we can get our combo going again under its new name. can't wait for school to be out so we can work on it. i really love the kids at our school but can't wait for it to be over for summer. - i think that's it. better finish packing & give the animals their medicines. bye for now.

campervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervancampervan

this is the latest obsession. i think for me & much of the united states. the prices on them are through the roof. likely bc so many ppl need a place to live these days. we want one so we can travel with both pet children. yes, i said it! that is where we are: middle-aged folks with grown spawn (well, his, mine are step-spawn, dear step-spawn boymen), so the animals are our in-home loves. i finally finished the back porch project & now itś like a little rm. james said cozy. i sit out there w/the animal children while he snores inside. we were supposed to practice yesterday but i obsessed over vans & he over his many obsessions, so we didn´t. we did go get a burger & sit in the shade by the interstate watching all the life in cages flying by. then we went looking for an abandoned stone hut i espied online after not having been able to locate it for 10 yrs. i saw it when i was looking for houses up here, long ago, a mysterious little crawlspace full of someone´s long-gone life, but since then have lost track of its location. we drove & 4-wheeled up butt-clenchingly steep & narrow winding rds, parked & hiked up to an alpine-smelling-feeling point, looked inside a different house than the one i sought, finally gave up to go home & weed-whack/obsess. but i think iḿ going back to look today bc i studied more maps & see where we turned on the wrong road... 7 wks left of school & i hope we can get that campervan soon so we can travel unlimitedly w the animals (gas is sposed to go down, did you hear?). life will tell... life, o life, as you fly by, i hope i will always be toujours gai (mehitabel). i hope i can keep doing some good in this little life, keep on trekking... the foe-toe is from the last show i played w/james & co, & that joint was packed! some women started throwing roses at me. throwing them! so i did this, & a nice man took this cool pic.

byoodyfull!

isn´t this a gorgeous poster??? we got to go to this several yrs back, pre-pandemic. it got rained out!! however, we got to see henry gray play at a downtown pub-restaurant with thrilling atmosphere & memorably delicious meal... this yr we can´t go bc the fest doesn´t coincide w/my school break, but we WILL be back!! ... james is in the back quarters of this place laughing his head off. iḿ not sure if itś w/people on the oculus (he trash talks w/a crew that meets to play immersive call of duty) or the toothsome young man who just laid the paver floor for the shed. he is the son of a fb friend; when he arrived, he said he was jamesś fan & had seen us play several times. a nice fellow! and he has 12,000 records! i sort of slobbered w/envy when he said they are stored in various places on their 5 acres in lockwood valley... oh well; i know that 0.38 is enough acreage for us bc we would just fill more space with more junk! ... i´ve been battling an ear infection, but took some medicine today & managed to do a few hrs of yardwork. my sponsor is kicking my butt w/making my amends list. many of the ppl on it i thought, oh, i don´t have to make an amend to HIM/HER, but nooooo. i am going to be busy in the next month or so, eating crow. james says he will accompany me, so that will make it easier. thank god i´ve stopped being such an as*hole. maybe won´t have to do so many amends in the future... we were going to go to an art opening tonight. imagine! around here! turns out david gordon, former pres of arts council of kern and an astounding california impressionist painter, opened a gallery at the outlets near here. we happened upon it the other day, we 4 gias plus maddy niece. what an eclectic, beautiful, well-appointed gallery! unusual stuff. for example, i bought postcards of lux interior as the human fly. hoowaa! if i were more spendy, & had more wall space/a bigger spread, & were living another life, i would´ve bought thousands in paintings & sculptures. oh well!... but wow! this place is so worth the visit if you are driving on I-5 south of bakersfield: bird dog galleries... you should go. i hope you do... lately between job, being sick, team body project, various aches & pains, & sobbing over step work, i´ve been watching with my honey the netflix show swap shop. it has made us long to return to the verdant south... & do more junking. we are so happy that our ¨antique¨ spot in lebec is doing so well. the owners told us we were the 2nd top seller. she told us others now are stocking their booths with more recent-era items. itś great fun to now go hunting & picking items to put in our spot. itś something we can do together while james´s wrist heals. after that, we can go back to stomping out the greatest sound right from the u.s.a.... well, thatś it for now. time for pizza, i think.

twiddle twiddle twiddle twiddle twiddle

waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting bc this was the 1st yr we had pros do our taxes, so of course they got snafued. i got a paper months & months back stating i had to confirm my identity but assumed it was a scam. then the $$ never came. never came. never came. so finally i followed up. the paper was legit. so i paid a bunch of dough for someone else to do my taxes for once & this happens. then they kept refusing the pix i sent bc my phone & home pc are cheapo & have poor camera quality. so now i´ve been waiting all morn to confirm i am who i am. finally getting to it, in other words. itś cold & the wind has been blowing like a banshee since yesterday. in the time i´ve waited i made a casserole, ate breakfast, at lunch, did the dishes, researched & finally ordered a shed, paid some bills, played a dumb video game, surfed the net, read an article about the stratification of society, watched videos of steven bauer interviews bc became obsessed w/him playing the moussad agent avi on the show ray donovan... found out ronnie spector passed which made me think of art fein & wonder how he´s doing? anyways, life passes by, doesn´t it, speeds by, flashes by... heading to tx in a few days to support my dearest cousin, whose husband the old bull rider, my friend jerry who believed in the creation museum & told dry nice little jokes, passed due to covid pneumonia. then my dear cousin thomas (her son, the sumo-sized boy of my heart) lost his horse general whom he´s had since age 5. so i will go to represent the entire family. and when i get home, the shed will be here. twiddle twiddle twiddle... down to the last 20 mins of waiting for irs video call... what else is new... oh; we recorded this the other night to celebrate the 12 yr anniversary of the night we met. here you go. https://www.facebook.com/100004546745776/videos/222701810045776/

elvis elvis elvis blah blah blah stomp stomp stomp

itś a bit cold here in the house, but so pleasant compared to recent icy conditions. mom & dad came to visit yesterday, so we went out the beautiful 138 and 3 points road to the old rock inn, where we think there could be a kick-a*S music fest someday when covid has left the bldg. what a nice time it was. yesterday was the day i learnt my husband longś wanted to be a land owner, ¨like les & willie,¨ his irish people of decades back, so we might look at some little rural properties today or tomorrow. life is very different than when i met my man. today is the elvis show, now with a new host, & thatś where i first met james in da flesh 12 years ago. 12 years!!! he is snoring away in the other room right now & life is pretty good. i got back on my happy pills, having stopped them in oct, thinking i could do w/o them, but then drenched, drowning, suffocating in thoughts of head in oven, hanging by a rope, pill od, dear stacy´s gunshot suicide, just horrible thoughts i knew were not mine but the chemical imbalance talking, it was time get back on the damned things... such thoughts are so unnatural, it must be a medical condition, so iḿ not stupid, i will treat my illness, & therefore this is how it will be, in per-pe-too-i-tee. a flock of birds just flapped across the beautiful sky, the catś licking his parts in the window box before my eyes, the dog is snoring away, too, but no, here she comes: must smell food. itś a good life. itś a passing fancy. it´s right now, but soon gone. last week i didn´t get to go to work at all bc of a bad covid home test so it was kind of a lost week, laborare interruptus or whatever, but now i will be back on monday & my thoughts have been of should i keep going at education? should i quit & go back to music? what should i and we do? i´ve been obsessing about our house, trying to get a shed or container here on the upper driveway, selling antoine the trailer tiny home, keep paddling, keep paddling, don´t sink... i just made a band logo for what we are renaming the combo. i will place that here. we are getting old but we don´t have to get soft. we are not lux & ivy, but they were great models of staying cool, weren´t they? i think iĺl go put on my jacket.

55 years!!!

our parents have been wed for 55 years today! just called & sang to them. they are near-crazy, sez dad, doing the last-minute details for their Big Party tomorrow. in the other room, i hear rat-tat-tat-tat-TAT! james is playing a ww2 game on his oculus. the oculus is a stunning piece of tech. he had me sit & put the goggles over my noggin & suddenly i was in kenya with elephants walking all around. a big wowza! overall, however, i'd rather work on stuff outside. the latest experiment has been the second driveway. we bought things called permeable pavers made from recycled plastic that can hold up to 2800 lbs per panel. they arrived on a pallet, seven feet tall, looking like the monolith from 2001: a space odyssey. they snap together like legos (well, not that easily). each day after work, when there's no snow, i've been "working like a donkey," as dad said, & the driveway is nearly done. now if i can just get the kid who said he'd transport the new shed to actually bring it here, we will be in biz. as you know, when it rains, it pours, so that means the septic overflowed (yeeccccccch) as well as the washing machine broke. the two might be related, & could have been caused by me dropping a rock down the sewer pipe (oops). on the plus side, we are not sick & each have four able (tho sore) limbs. the chango jam was a big success tho james tore something in his knee & did not go. he was greatly missed. the house was packed, the people who attended seemed very happy, & all was much in the christmas spirit tho after the show, andy from the rush st boys posted a christmas video of us all playing with manuel singing & leading the band & i realized we all suck by comparison to him... but still he loved or at least liked all of us who played with him, & there was only one big manny & ever will be, so i need to be ok with my relative mediocrity & grateful i got to play with him at all. nice moments during the show were standing with ruben, nearly elbow to elbow bc the stage was packed with bodies, & trading parts. then when jaime sang "somebody please," tex nakamoto looked over & nodded & we did backups together & it really sounded smooth & angelic. "i nearly escaped, then i stepped on a land mine," laughed james as he tromped through the room just now, so i guess now that he's done & i've exercised & written here a tad, we can watch some tv together before hitting the sack then loading up for tomorrow's songs at the anniversary party. happy holidays to all.

"rock 'em and make 'em love you." -big manny

here is the newest poster for the event. yesterday afternoon on facebook i checked & it said 520 people were going. soon after, i got a fever, but i don't know if the two occurrences are related. my temp runs low bc of thyroid condition, in the 97s, but it was 103.8, so then of course i thought i was dying. i took ibuprofen & went to bed and an hour later it was 99.9, then 99.7... however with temperature a teacher cannot go to school bc of covid concerns, so now i can't go back until wednesday. i think that is good bc my ears and head are pressing & throbbing in a sickening kind of way & i'm more tired than usual. the temp is back to my normal, 97.4... still, my mitochondria are NOT doing their job. i hope you will come to this wonderful event in memory of dear manuel robert gonzales, known in the past 20 years of his life as big manny. manny the rockin' gentle giant, who sang like a thousand bad-ass birds & played his guitar just like a ringing a bell. "it's important that the show have manny's loving spirit and soul," tony said, & he hit it on the beezer. it's going to be fun, said jaime of bordertown. it's going to be rockin'. it will be all about love & fun & the spirit of rockin good american music (and some mexican). i hope everyone there will love it. and i hope there are no more flyer changes bc i am working from screenshots & soon it will look like a polaroid taken of a BETA tape.

clean & sober til my dying day & blablabla

realized last week that everything will pass, everyone will pass, but my sobriety will ever-last as long as i have this life. what a comfort! no one can take it from me. my sobriety abides as long as i make a decision each day to value it, cherish it, protect it. my life depends on it, so i think i should... lately has been weird & sad & then good & even sometimes great. started exercising again, every single damn day, to get stronger & make the infernal coconut cooperate & maybe help my owthritis... & playing the piano, & trying to be sociable (tho the inner gnome wants to just be quiet & alone). made some mistakes, & they kick my butt only because i think somehow i'm supposed to be infallible, but then i talk about it with friends, with sponsor, with james & after that have a chance to get right-sized again. the only reason erring makes me so depressed is i think i'm more important than i am. dang subjective consciousness: it gives a person the idea that he or she or it is bigger than the Truth... today i made myself a little crazy working on a shed project, then found out ruby car's alternator needs replacing, then tried to take care of old woman medical stuff online, then we went to the big city of bakersfield to eat some food in a real restaurant, then we did some shopping... it was a nice enough time once we got out on the road to see stuff. james got some strings so we can practice this week, then we decided we'd go on a little trip in the next few days, so we're gonna do that. our destination will be the glen tavern inn, & i've been wanting to stay there for at least 10 yrs, so i'm happy. it's kind of a destination hotel, like the el cortez in vegas or the mission inn riverside or el rancho gallup or a thousand other places, so we will slumber in a pretty space with our dog girl... then next week will bring a gig, then a stay with tony lopez, then a practice with good folks, playing rockin christmas songs, so can't get much better than that for me. the biggest thing today, tho, was as i was dealing w medical stuff online, somehow an email from 2017 popped up... which was a forward of gene taylor's joe dean stories from 2007. gene was writing a book, & i was his editor. i thought all of that was long gone. it was a huge wow! i forwarded them to james, who knew gene way better than i did... still i feel so fortunate & humbled that his stories, at least the parts he shared with me, are still in my possession. well, dinner's still a big lump in my gut, so think i'll go rest a while before it's time to get up & go to work. be good, stay sick turn blue, long live rocknroll.

as long as changos play musica...

we will have this show. "rock em and make em love you." - big manny

"nine years of bliss and hell..."

we went to lake arrowhead for levon's wedding, then to victorville-route 66 museum-elmer's bottle ranch. that last one i've wanted to see for 25 years. that last one was beautiful, spooky, & spiritual, & i found myself sobbing like a loon. the first was exclusive, like an alpine resort. i felt like my bargain-shopper butt was sneaking into the ritz. the drive up to arrowhead, a steep, winding, windy climb, reminded me of the chase scene in a bond film; we should've been in an aston martin instead of ruby the sewing machine (my little ride). the mountaintop lake resort reminded me of years ago, being in switzerland w/james's band. in one of many happy moments, james filmed a video; some of these pix are screenshots from it showing my hubby's happy reaction to my half-joking summary of our marriage... tonight he is not here & i miss him, so i post these pix. i had kissed him right before the video, so his lips look a little funny. those lips. and my gray hair, i shoulda dried it because it looks like silver straw. but overall, we still get to be here, so no complaints... yes, we got to celebrate our anniversary early on the heels of young levon's betrothal. the hotels were nice, the company nicer. my dear james. my dear, dear husband. my dear dear dear dear james... this past weekend i worked like a maniac to finish the trailer (henryed the roof, duck-taped the bottom w/silver insulation & green tarp), & last night the demonic winds screamed over the mountain followed by thunderous rainstorm. boom! the trailer had been completed just in time... except the winds wrenched one of the ceiling vents clean off the roof & threw it over the fence into the front yard. fortunately this vent was over the bathtub, so the tub filled with rainwater, then drained, so i will fix it all later... we are doing the chango jam ("because big manny loved christmas") again this year, this time in pico rivera at a hall. james went to place the downpayment, then got stuck in the southland, so the animals & i sit here & wait for his return. i have played the piano all evening, in my current mood, singing & pounding & rolling, & then i wrote three songs. haven't written songs for over a year. it felt cathartic & right & like i was doing something.... so this is where i sit at age more than one-half century... still not pushing up daisies, as do so many loved ones, dear friends, & heroes of mine... so can't complain... btw, check out the gorgeous boogie-woogie prodigy ladyva. she is astonishing, the mozart of the barrelhouse... i don't have a video handy, but just go check her out right now: she is really something special...

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 james just opened the front door & yelled, "hello?" i'm right here, i yelled back. it's a windy morn up here, in fact, they cancelled school for the fourth time this year. i assume these cancelled days are being taken from our snow day bank, but maybe we will have to work longer this yr as a result.

would like to think that pg&e deeply cares for everyone's safety, thus spurring the public safety power outage. but i think they merely worry about litigation since burning down the town of paradise due to inadequate power line maintenance. our school's in a wind tunnel at the mouth of grapevine canyon, so the other schools in our district, not being suchly located, are open today.

so maddy started subbing. she arrived late last night & this morning i made oatmeal for her & her mommy, my dear little sis, then they headed out. angie stayed the night after teaching kungfooey nearby. she is at a mountain religious conference today. it was great to have them both here. we laughed our butts off this morn, remembering family this & that, but james slept peacefully.

now he is up & singing as cereal clinks into his bowl. today we go to the wedding of a young man i've known since his birth. he is marrying a big bossy woman, maybe a bit like his strong mom. i recall him with blond curls, a friendly little guy with his dad's amiability. when he was three, i found him a mohair mariachi jacket at a thrift store & his family pix snapped him that way, posed like a matador, tom thumb, it's a top-100 lifetime pic, for sure. :)

we're going to have the manny christmas show this yr. james got the venue & jaime sainz has taken the organizing reins. it's going to be swell. :) jaime even liked my dream, where james, him, & i played in a band called the rockin' caballeros. he said the RCs should make a record. ha! i didn't tell him the dream's rhythm section: max bangwell and scott lambert, both r.i.p.

yes, all seems to be well these days, tho windy, & soon we're headed for the wedding to lake arrowhead, where i can see my old friend donna (the old part's true of us both now!), after that to the desert to see (i hope, i hope) elmer's bottle village & the rt 66 museum. pet children will be well-cared-for here, & maddy's coming back mon to sub for me, since i had plans ready for today & someone should use them. i'm hoping if she has great subbing experiences, i can lure her into teaching...

here are some shots from the festival, which went great, we had such a happy time tho i had an anaphylaxis episode & nearly died... we played with geno matteo one day, as you can see, a rough set but still fun fun fun. i love my job but these gigs make me want to "run away with the rocknroll circus" again, as angie put it one time, so maybe i can retire pretty soon. the other pix are from the fantastic little art museum in lancaster. we went there the other day when school was wind-closed & had a wonderul time. the museum never fails to have terrific exhibits, & if you're every in lancaster ca on "the BLVD," you should go: lancaster museum of art & history

ghost town in bodfish, ca, heading back from fest

james & antknee waiting to go on

steven & blake; we really did have fun shooting sh*t

last green rm trailer i remember was w/candye kane (r.i.p.)

james & me

me, tony lopez, blake, james, geno matteo

setting up to play

museum of art & history

our fav artist of the exhibit, cinta vidal (hopper meets escher)

yep!

 well, can tell school started back up bc just looked at this site & noticed i haven't posted or even thought of posting in over a month. but this is tomorrow. please come, if you at all can.

james made this flyer.

next weekend, we play the kernville blues festival. that should be interesting.

the past months have been a blur of trailer searching & house improvement. first the bathroom renovation. i even knocked out walls. got to use all kinds of materials i've been saving for years, in some cases, most luckily a lot of neat tile from other states, antique stores, even the vacant lot outside the desert hots springs spa hotel. the tiles look wonderful. it's a joy now to take a shower. my hands did it! i am fortunate.

lately has been the new trailer renovation. spent months after selling the lil loafer completely obsessed w finding a larger trailer. james said he was an internet widower. i finally saw a msg about one in santa barbara so jumped in the car on a sat morn & by sun afternoon, it was here, a broken-down mess with good bones, a screaming deal. i had to jump, & i did. the friendly seller, 20+ yrs in the demo business, sent one of his employees to deliver it. as soon as the behemoth was here, i dove into fixing it up. let's say it's 58% there right now. 

james even has helped some, tho he's not neurotically fixated on making stuff out of junk like i am. he's outside the basement right now, singing happily & framing new windows. i hope the family will come stay now that there's "an extra house." if not, it should flip for quite a profit. i have never made a profit selling stuff, so this all is new. quite a surprise.

we'll see what happens. i mean, it'd be better if family would stay since we now have so much more room. i'll post pix soon of its scary original looks versus what we've done. incredible the change, just so far. a new coat of paint sure did it wonders.

a problem is, my hands have been ruined in past months by constant painting, hammering, prying, lifting, pounding, carrying, wrenching, twisting... i play the keyboard at school every day, little patriotic songs the kids sing, but i haven't really played in a spell, so last night i sat down to loosen up at the piano in prep for the gig & ohhhhhh my, what pain. i need to be more careful so i don't end up too arthritic to play. 

 two nights ago my friend bill messaged & that's how i found out my buffalo gusgus had passed away. i was quite heartbroken, but when my ex-husband sent a pic of old man gus w/his two new little dog bros, i felt much better. gus obviously had been treated so well, & it was his time to go. later my sis sent me this pic,  which brian had posted in the photo montage homage to gussy. i think this was one of the last times i saw him, so that would've been 2012 or so...

dogs are proof of god, & they break our hearts... but i wouldn't want life without them in it.

obsession, experiments, & fortuity

 dad says i inherited serial obsession from him. we become tunnel-fixated on a something for a while... then drop it like a hot stone. he was obsessed with my tiny trailer, bought stairs, bought a portable toilet... then said your mother and i have decided we won't stay in the trailer. i sold the tiny trailer for a good price. now am obsessed with the following to fill the space where was tiny trailer: vintage travel trailer, vintage mobile home, vintage motorhome, shipping container house, camper, rv, train caboose, sea train house, tiny home, tiny house, agghrghrghghhh!!!! my fingers can hardly move -- i hope it's from overdoing it in the yard & at school, not from too much feverish online searching for trailervintagemobilehomemotorhomecampercaboose.... argghhhh!!!

i was cleaning up the property one last time before school starts & happily spotted, near the antique wagon james brought home, bees & butterflies & other little flitting creatures cavorting & sipping at the volunteer mini-meadow that has popped up in that yard area. oh my gosh! we haven't lifted a finger to plant anything (it dies or the animals eat it, i'm not consistent enough with gardening). what a wonderful surprise that was! so i photoed all the volunteers in the yard, but only have been able to identify one, mountain aster. yay! and dad said, via duo video call, that he thinks in the backyard is a gigantic chokecherry. oh, that would be stupendous! yesterday at the thrift store w/cousin mary fafa, who visited from the valley, i got some cheap books, one entitled flowers of the southwest mountains... the chokecherry was worshipped by navaho peoples. you can make medicines from it. you can make jams & jellies with it!

i hope that gigantic bush indeed is a chokecherry...

btw, did you know that spinach, banana, & grapes make a delicious shake? throw in leftover cold tea or milk for different flavor notes... lately when fruits & veggies start to perish, i throw them in a bag in the freezer. everything goes in: carrots, cucumber, dad's maraglia grapes. then they all go in the ninja blender. some experiments have had to go right into the arroyo (nasty!), but others? so delicious! so happy not to waste food.

 well, james, on the way back from a southland gig, again went to the swap meet w/o me down in the city, but that's ok. when it gets down to it, i don't want to be broiling in the smoggy sun of the city. everything a person needs is right here in this house full of mountain breezes & soft sounds & cool floor & sleeping pets.  just don't need one more thing. but do i want more? heck, yes. it's an illness. i blame society, to quote repo man.

mary frances, my youngest cousin, is a kind & saintly
sprite of a professional woman whose progressive heart leans
toward pope francis & john waters (the pope of trash, you know).

the adorable girls, callie, bebe, maryfafa

as i left bakersfield, dad walked to get the mail dressed
as karl kolchak of the old night stalker tv show. but i
think it just was an accident of wardrobe. (sometimes he
rides a tiny bicycle to accomplish this task.)

the black dog, the crippling fog, the suffocating thing in the log

 is here.

money money money money money

 i have some, so i am lucky. why such disparity in this human world? can't look at that, no. and no, i'm not rich in money, not compared to some of james's friends or people i've known or certainly not compared to the wealthy of the world... but wealthy in other ways, yes yes yes, i get to be. ("that man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.")

today i got some real scratch (for me) bc today, finally sold the little trailer! yaaay! the guy who bought it, "cesar millan not the dog whisperer," was sweet, a character, a businessman, sincere-seeming... accompanied by a snowy-headed mexican pastor of noble visage named edgar perez.  before they pulled away, edgar asked if we all could pray, so we bowed our heads & he did so, & they drove off leaving me with a huge (for me) wad of bills & eyes filled with tears.

lately has brought many financial opportunities where i get to be a good person. i couldn't be luckier lately, really. it was a funny idea, to send a champagne cake to texas, so we enjoyed the challenge of preparing & mailing one to cousin tushi for her bd (it is her absolute favorite cake), then got to listen by phone as she opened it, gasped, & yelled "holy sh*t!!" - such a funny & wonderful moment! lllllllllllllllll 

the cat just jumped on the keyboard! i will leave it.

angie & i drove out to ventura for cousin loree's 50th bd & had a huge meal at limon & sal, a gorgeous restaurant housed in a grand old downtown ventura corner bank, owned by loree's gentlemanly, high-rolling  friend carlos. afterward,  thrift shopping w/angie & loree, many nice gifts. last night, a reservation for cousin bebe & her wife callie at the hollywood historic hotel, a grand place where james & i have stayed. they'll be visiting from texas so that young bebe can "show callie cali."

there's all this incubated niceness... then awareness of the inequality of the human world comes swelling up and swallows it all.

 i don't want to write any more, so i'll just post some pix.

i sold it for "obo"! whee!

our beautiful little town. today was fiesta days,  
a street fair this yr due to covid...

very fond memories here for so many. :) omg, pistachio
used to be pistachio cashew!!! where's the time machine?!?