happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary, haaaaaaaappy anniversary

pictures from tommy middaugh :)

today we've been married seven years. time flies!!!!! i was old chronologically, but young physically and emotionally when i married james. he looked like a baby, even with his balding head!! "just look at us," he mused as we rested in the bedroom, gazing at our wedding photos on the walls. "we were insane!!!"
"we had no idea what we were doing," i added.
"NO idea!!" he said.
"i'm so glad," i said.
"me, too," he replied. :)
he is bringing home taco bell right now. don't you want something fancier? he asked. no; i love taco bell, plus they serve diet pepsi, my number one vice.

we had the sweetest wedding at a chapel no longer standing
(james said that's not an omen at all, but "just vegas")

i have quit alcohol, drugs, pork... but diet pepsi is the only vice i can't kick. when i stopped drinking it, to eliminate brain fog & all the health negatives that go with diet soda consumption, i cried & cried. wth did that come from?!? ...i started drinking the crap so young, it's embedded in me, like a fat child and sweets. i guess i'll stay on the dp for now, but i hope i can stop at some point before my brain turns to total mushcakes.
anyways... i just took some online tests. they say i have everything from cerebral stroke to outer ear infection. i will choose to believe the latter bc the former is really scary!!! can't believe i'm still sick. donna told me not to tell her anymore about my health unless it's a "deathbed notification." i guess i talk too much about my health maladies.

here we are with james holding me up (1st days being sick)

the other night i was too sick to drive, but on autopilot flying home after getting groceries in "the big city" of backwardsfield, i put on THE GREAT 28 & suddenly felt well! the wellness lasted only a few minutes once home, but long enough for me to post this on facebook:
been sick three weeks
played "the great 28"
that rock and roll music
has made me feel great
burma shave

my health

bleh.
could be worse.
still not pushing up daisies.

wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

link for this video is at bottom.

haven't posted in a good long time! my work email seems to have eaten my personal. has something to do with work permissions. just overcame it; had to change password. big deal! my life is gold. am home sick today but the school's closed bc pg&e shut off power to that area, at mouth of the grapevine, a forested wind tunnel & certainly a fire hazard zone. mama said pg&e's doing these "preventative" shut-downs bc they're mad about going into bankruptcy to pay for the paradise tragedy. i don't know.
so much has been going on. my class this year is the best ever, a 5-6 combo. over summer i was trained in restorative practices & started the yr off with them, resulting in the closest, happiest, most improving class ever. corey is fantastic as principal; she is forging a much-improved school culture for all. i just knew she'd be terrific!

i've played a few gigs w/james & band tho not sure about this wkend since i'm so ill. all's so wonderful w/james these days. he says we're now "on the same team," & i already got us signed up for the international convention in detroit july 2020, where i'll hope to reach two bits of sobriety. wow! a whole life now w/o booze! thank you, higher power. it's astounding!!!
here's a terrific showcase video for james. watch amazing victor come in on guitar about 3/4 through -- wow!! i make the funniest faces on here: sour grapes pickle face when james starts "crawdad hole" w/o telling us that's what it'll be, which means i didn't get to play what i would've; & ecstacy as if high like cheech & chong after victor's chuck berry guitar solo. i see again i am the woman of 1000 faces, looking like a different person (pretty, homely, fat, thin, old, young) depending on my mood & angle. james & i are the same this way tho he's much better-looking than i am. we are shapeshifters. maybe besides monsters, comic books, mad mag, MUSIC, exercise, tiny toys, kids, animals, & some other stuff that's why we were attracted to each other so powerfully, a coupla magnets. seven years down the road, i could not be happier.
james & i had done the homeboy 5k that morn in downtown LA, his first running event. it was a hugely fun trip, tripping around chinatown, downtown, phillipe's, little jewel of new orleans, the race, visiting sherri & james jr, then long beach, san pedro, this & that,  but by the time we played, he said he was so tired he was seeing spots. still he is the greatest up there, the muhammad ali of the stage. or the mike tyson. or the james page. :)
thanks to johnny angel for this video. i know how long it takes to cut & mix something like this. he worked hard to create this video of us, & we are grateful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a0ooW75pZ4&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR2Ybn6C8pGZQVfIgVrO8oPNchC1xG6cbfIH0x2pZsKG66Vv0Vrd0_bevjk

"that's what he gets for goin' out drinkin'."

- james's response to dad's email below... james lost 20 bucks at mom & dad's house; today i received this at work:
TO: the most exalted jenny gia page
FROM: joe bertia
MSG: a terrible discovery
This morning when Ramona was looking for the Californian she heard moaning coming from the dirt strip next to the driveway. It was a dirt-covered Hamilton, and when she picked him up he faintly mumbled the word "James." After she washed his face he pleaded  sorrowfully that he had to get home to, a wallet? Do you know anything about this Hamilton?
-Dad
- we played a gig last week at glory days in seal beach. we haven't played for a good long while (me, longer even than james!) & we both got quite tired but barnstormed through since we both are stage stompers who would rather die than give up during a show... james was powerful & when he said he'd just got out of rehab, the audience laughed. still, he told the fireman joke... because nothing's gonna make james turn normal or do what people want bc he is james the original. :) i found out he cheated on break by obtaining an energy bomb, a banana from steve, who always brings a bags of nourishment & noshes on breaks (dad, who always has controlled his food intake, is so admiring of this)... i kept asking for an energy drink but had to wait til after the show, when we drove through taco bell &, tho neither of us were stoned, got munchies of which cheech & chong surely would have approved... it was a good weekend, a solid week, & this weekend's gonna be great, too. :)
- "find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of life is joy enough." -e. dickinson
- always remember the "blessed fact of sobriety." -b. wilson

county fair 2019!!!

we had a wonderful time yesterday at the antelope valley fair. 1st we went to a mall & james got a beautiful stacy adams fedora with quail feather -- he's had his eye on it for some time. meanwhile i wore my old straw yard hat, complete with rips & paint.
we got to the fair as it opened with desert sun high in the sky: warm warm warm! having grown up in bakingfield, i try never to concede that i'm hot bc then it can be all over for me. better to think cool thoughts, or "it's not that bad," or "could be worse," or be thankful when a little breeze kicks up.
i do love the desert air, even with its discomforts, due to the reward when that breeze does kick up, bathing the sweated skin: natural air conditioning! bedouins & all humans from civilization's cradle, where still it's hot today, know this. convenient things aren't very pleasurable for me, for some reason. i don't like the crowded beach, or new things, or expensive things if unnecessary, or conspicuous consumption, or keeping up with the joneses, name brands, etc. never have, never will. james is pretty much of the same mind, tho not as eccentric as i am on this matter!
anyways, we did so much in short time! this fair is close to edwards AFB & has rich aviation/space heritage, so there were replicas of space vehicles & world war planes & history room with pancho barnes & military flyboy heroes, among them the guy who played the drill sergeant in many movies, the one james really likes who apparently was a local son. 20 mule team, mojave desert rocks, geodes, quilts, artwork, vegetables & fruits, 4h goat show, petting zoo, exotic animals, colorful rides, dancing hiphop kids, fair food, happy people, families, children: you gotta love the fair.
we agreed we prefer fairs to amusement parks, which tend to be overpriced (therefore exclusive or encouraging the vulnerable to become indebted) & completely commercialized. the apex of this, of course, is disneyland, which no longer abides "walt's dream," as james has said, although it remains  house of the wonderful haunted mansion, which we really love. truly, i don't care to ever go again & think it obscene that people on budgets will spend so much hard-earned money to get the park fastpass. yesterday in the desert getting gas, we saw a disheveled woman with a fastpass bumper sticker on her broken-down car. i know disneyland is a happily-ever-after fantasy for many, but its marketing brainwashes too, too many to live way beyond their means, & i guess that's what the american dream has become & its just another example of corporate takeover of the american mind
... sigh...
the best parts of the fair for me were having shaved ice with james while people-watching; seeing the dashing mariachi troupe, their first song so beautiful & poignant, my tears flew; the exotic animals such as tortoise, bobcat, serval, binturong (or bear cat, like the rufus thomas song!)... and a young tiger, breathtakingly beautiful, supple with muscle! many of the animals already had gone home, since our trip occurred late in the fair, but still we saw goats, rabbits, llamas, & two of the most beautiful cows i've ever seen. they gave off such an aura of peace & gentleness, i realized unless they are served to me in someone's home or i am starving, i should no longer eat them.
well, back to schoolwork & housekeeping. we have such a good life these days. may yours be, as well.

funny & fun

scuzzin tushi sent us this meme:

 i remember when i was an undergrad in one of the few interesting classes (it was quite eggheadish), the concept of "meme" was kind of hard to grasp - a discrete unit of meaning, by that pre-internet-era definition, but more than that & kind of nebulous to get. now it's big, a huge concept in popular parlance with different meaning... i suppose this is the kind of change that occurs as one gets older & older... school is going really well though challenging bc i have the school's only combo class & had to move my classroom so didn't get time to prep completely for the school yr. must remember the 5th graders are at different developmental stage than 6th as i communicate with them -- smaller, more innocent, more concrete thinkers. yes, my 5th graders are a smart bunch of little pups, & the 6th are pretty cool, too. everyone is doing well relative to their past, even the few

super-challenging students. and my friend corey is doing outstandingly well as principal: her prodigious intelligence & skill, frittered away in past, i believe by mere serious health issues, teaching, serving as our principal when our "real" one was a total bum, getting two masters' at once, & being a mother & wife (i hope you see i'm being ironic), are now synthesized toward the greater purpose of ship-shaping a little school. her immense  leadership skills have exploded in powerful bloom. i told her i'd call her patton, but that's too militaristic, but she definitely is a great one, could lead a battalion, i think, is "in the trenches." i am hopeful & happy for this year, for the children & for us all professionally.

this pic is of a chifferobe i dragged home from the neighbor's yard. it was a mess, covered with paint, glue, dirt, and masking tape & had loose drawers & hinges & other parts as well as no mirrors. i was so pleased to restore it in one feverishly obsessed day. james said it was the nicest present he'd ever gotten, & of course keeps quoting to kill a mockingbird... (btw, read the book natural born heroes by christopher mcdonnell...what a book!!! i give it 5 stars plus!!!)... we're going for pizza now, so sayonara.

he was wearing shorts

mama took these pix in the antelope valley near a pretty tho low pond filled with giant coy, geese, & iridescent turquoise & orange dragonflies. we were joking around under aging trees that afforded an amazing canopy spread. in 52 years on earth, this is the 1st time i've noticed that my brown face blushes, but here you have it! i guess james would be the one to make that happen!  he was wearing shorts on that hot day, so with quick editing his attire in these pix now looks a little like jodhpurs. i left one james knee & white sock peeking out to thrill his fans... :)
i get a few more days of vacation bc they just waxed my new classroom floor, so that's more time to work on this house & i hope read a little & maybe do some cooking (tho the ninja blender makes "fixing a meal" instantaneous!)... recently on a jog at the central coast i saw up close an adolescent gray fox & later a young mule deer right in our vacation home back yard; the other day, james was the only one brave enough to approach a wolf at the wolf sanctuary. he knelt down & coaxed, "come here, sweetheart," & the immense, majestic creature approached, dropped gigantic white paw on james's shoulder, & slurped his face as everyone stood by gasping (having been too chicken to go near the lupine, named takoda)... outside this window is squirrel, chipmunk, quail, blue jay, sparrows or finches or some kind of tiny bird, & i'm sure much, much more animal life, & the weather is blessedly cool after penny's & my hot, hilly, but beautiful run at the high school earlier.
all is well, as you can see, & may it be with you.

four days and counting!! & blazing bakingfield pix

my favorite human

these may be the last four days of vacation!!! last year the roof of the school was retiled... then at open house in june, i noticed buckets collecting leaks, but in my sometimes-airhead way, didn't think anything more... turns out the construction company did a crappy job & the SD sued them or something & over summer the roof's being redone & this time they are removing ASBESTOS!!! i asked corey if that means we're all gonna die from asbestos poisoning & she said, "probably." but that also has meant none of us have been able to get in to work at school. monday MIGHT be the day i can return... and move my classroom. arrrrgggghhhh!!! i've been blessed as a teacher all these 22 years & never've had to move til now. arrrrrgggghhhh!! oh well; it'll be best for the kids, our school, so i need to do it.
our family vacation was wonderful, though i was sick for most of it & yesterday got many blood tests to see why i'm remaining sick now 8 days later!! stupid weak immune system!!! (i read a little book while vacationing, & did you know simon AKA sabato, sam, etc rodia of my favorite folk art/architecture monument, watts tower -- book subject --, was 4'10"? a midget!!! wow!!! he also was cranky & stubborn &, when the trains moved & thousands of ppl no longer daily were viewing & noticing & talking about his work, he up & moved. ha! another crazy, selfish genius, in other words, sounds like!) in other uninteresting news... from fb...
I've had my phone for almost 5 years. The camera by this time has been reduced to nearly nothing, as you can see from the quality of these photos, but the lighting adequately reflects the heat in Bakersfield! I think it's time for me to switch over to the really nice phone I was given by James's friend Ben!... there must be five hundred pictures in the phone waiting to be uploaded, though. Talk about a golden problemo! Jny (and James)

wilting in the heat

darling james & (critical comment deleted)

da good life

all that could make it better right now is if i could post the short videos i took of james in the dining room dancing & singing to "sugar blues," then dancing with the dog!! oh well; these pix will do for now til i can figure out the video uploading. :)

they really should have a series, these two :)

summertime

...and the living is easy...

after james's dental surgery

before james's dental surgery

-thought there were no songs about summer i really like, but that one is a real keeper, tho its melancholy does NOT reflect my summer. because of my age, when thinking of summer songs what jumped to mind was "in the summertime," which was by a guy named mungo jerry (!), & of course eddie cochran's tune, with its infectious hammer but lyrics to which i do not relate.

thomas & i in texas

-this summer mostly has been a staycation at casa di page, tho did take a trip to texas (so many, many pictures to upload!! my phone has been broken for months, i have a perfectly good one waiting to use, why don't i just upload the dang pix??? it's stumping me, the perverse procrastination bug that slugs my gourd, my life in pix stuck in a busted little phone for no good reason...) we got a swamp cooler, i built a backyard covered patio, so the house has been nothing

dad at his 1st book signing :)

but comfy, & the mountain breezes, well, i often writes about them, they is so wonderful. makes it hard to do much, tho!!!

my shady patio oasis

henri herbert in austin at continental club.
henri looks just like dad when he was 25.

-yes, it's an easy, lazy, overcast day up here. yesterday i chauffeured mom & dad to dad's first book signing at the museum of african-american art in south LA. the week before, i was in austin for my 24th sober bd at a convention, goofing around at thrift stores, nearly dying on lady bird trail running in the scorching heat, listening to music, eating lotsa good food, then visiting cousin tushi & family in granbury, sleeping, eating, running in a swampy drizzle... the week before that? who knows; don't remember. horror movies on tv, laying around, runs with the dog, reading, i tell ya, it's just been a lazy, lazy summer.

where i almost died from the heat on
the lady bird trail in austin

here are some pix i already had uploaded elsewhere & therefore easily can plop down here. i hope soon i'll resume chronicling more often because... my memory's not so good. i will just lose track of my life if i don't put it down here or on social media someplace.

me & my friend tjarko in austin 

mama & i at dad's book signing

this book is at dollar tree! run out & get one!

rae, eric, thomas, tushi, me at babe's

-there's lots to do planning for school since i'm gonna have a combination class, but it's in a back cabinet of my mind for now waiting for the home stretch of summer when i'll be forced to devote all attention to it... hope i'll do a not just good, but great job this year at school & be a real asset to the kids and to el tejon... i want to do well for them & to help my dear friend corey: she's gonna be our principal!! we can affect some positive change all together with hard work, heart, dedication. :)
just adulted some, paid all the bills, so now's time to go outside & work in the giant yard some more, which is so much fun... this week's family vacation, so gotta get the pad tidy inside & out for pet sitter,







 and that's about it for now.

blablablablablablablabla

no exciting or even boring pix to post, just feel like writing. need to uncramp my fingers. been putting stairs in on the east side of the house & indulging in other projects, so've been abusing my fingers for about a week now. got a fantastic massage several days ago from a secret masseuse here in town (she gets so much business that she doesn't advertise & in fact keeps her successful healing operation on the down-low... shhhh) -- it really was one of the best massages i've had ever, & at one point she said, "have you heard of CBD?" and i almost shrieked with excitement. you might know CBD is the component of cannabis that is non-psychoactive. it's used for pain relief. so she rubbed some on my back and thumbs. and the pain was abated! for some hours!
of course i bought a little can of the stuff & really should apply some right now. i've been on the CBD trail for some time but am too much of a cheapskate to have ever bought much. it seems to be pretty effective, & i have a dear friend who's lost A TON of weight on the stuff, which is likely another reason i've not bought much, being wary of triggering eating disorders. no need to chase that old gong around.
so back to the stairs, on one of the dirt trails i jog someone had dumped a buttload of bricks. james helped me get some one time, but we didn't finish the job & it's been bugging me for a while, so last week i went & got ALL of the remaining bricks, about 100 of them, because i'm insane that way & love little more than working furiously until i can't move. (used to love to do that when i had my own band. and if i ever front a band again, i will love it again!!! some blues express shows have been like that, but it happened A LOT when i had my buddy-guitarist phil hickerson playing & we were like the dynamic duo before my band blew up in my face because i was a selfish stupid f**ing moron at that time...) anyways, exercise & yardwork & furious building projects & certain other activities all bring this wonderful release of sore, aching muscles & tired, drained brain. and don't know about you, but i'm just better all around when my brain is drained. then the god feeling can come in...
so for the last week i've been working on all kinds of house stuff with mostly found stuff & my lack of expertise but love for trouble-shooting & macgyvering... for today i spend many hours trying to hang faux wrought iron pieces in a strip along the east wall but the dang masonry nails kept popping out & the pieces were heavier than i thought & kept crashing 10 feet down to the dirt & going up & down up & down the ladders was getting wearying, but i managed to get some pieces framing the bottom of a window after much trial & error; then added more fencing on a curiously short area of the back fence (did the earth sink there? dunno) then another enormous wooden piece to the "new" gate & busted up some old chairs & used fragments to make decorative end pieces for the gate & found an old shower curtain ring for a latch & then decided i think i'll paint! so mixed some old nasty green paint that had had a bunch of blue poured in it, but after painting my "new" deck & brick stairs for a while, listening to sister rosetta tharpe & old-timey delta blues from pandora (yesterday was charlie feathers, the day before a blaster concert), the paint started to mix back into its original dusky-oaky green, which was nice.
then i cleaned up the mess i made, having learned from my dear father that that's what a person ALWAYS should do before relaxing, & after admiring everything for a minute came inside to eat but don't feel like cooking so here i type away. i think i promised the dog i would run her at the high school (this time with a spare key so i don't lose it like i did last week with the cross country team, but thanks to my friends christy & corey, who lent me a jeep & a metal detector, i was able to find the key after an hour of sweeping the bushes). anyways, yes, i think that'll be a terrific way to ensure that by bedtime i can hardly lift a limb from physical exhaustion.
ah... the luxuries of being a middle-class american. (am i? my friends think i'm poor.)
on top of all this fun, on the way back from the HS, doggy & i can now go to the DRIVE THROUGH down at the truck stop & get a 99 cent frosty!!!!
"that [wo]man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest." (thoreau)

not such a good blablablabla day...

it's been one of those weird days. i spoke to one my oldest, closest friends & was shocked to find that person significantly altered -- i hope just for now -- by illness & medication. damned evil bigpharma! damned over-medication!!!! i got off the phone just shook up. my brilliant, brusque friend: so changed right now. i pray just for right now! it was dizzying.
for comfort, i started reading about a book i've long-loved, man's search for meaning, then ended up on jstor reading a scholarly article that shook me to my core. when the author started linking frankl to a relative of a head nazi scum, i stopped reading. it was just too much. couldn't read one word more. so i called my sister to see how she was. she took something i asked wrong & was snippy. rather than stand up for myself, i got my little feelings hurt.
it's just been one of those days!

so i said a prayer & realized i should be outside on such a gorgeous day. yes, a move from magnifying mind to body was in order: grabbing tools, digging, raking, trouble-shooting, i ended up working on a few projects i've been thinking about using found objects bc it's really no fun to create & make projects using new stuff right out of the box (exception: our new swamp cooler).
one project came out really neat, a patio shade made from an enormous piece of pretty early-'70s stripey plasticky-canvas i got from a yard sale. i think it might been a tent cover, but it looks really swell set up as it is, like a bedouin hideaway, i was imagining, & provides such nice expanse of shade, transforming the back patio into something seemingly larger & definitely more comfortable. after erecting it i just sat there for a while, admiring the funky aesthetic & enjoying the breezes, feeling happy, satisfied...
hungry, i came in to sit under lovely swamp cooler, eat lunch, & enjoy a horror film i'd heard described as a throwback to john carpenter/david cronenberg -- now that i think of it, directors who don't have much in common. the movie quickly was engrossing, but took a sour turn, becoming quite misanthropic,  leaving me depressed again.
after this let-down, the only sensible action was to get back outside, so i toiled some more in the gorgeous day, digging & measuring & moving rocks & bricks & huge, heavy tiles & laboring  til i hardly could move, so organized all the tools & pieces of wood & fencing & paint for tomorrow & was about to crawl to the shower when penny plopped in front of me, looking plaintively patient. she hadn't had her daily walk/jog.
we only did a mile, but i'm so glad i took her. she has no clue i've had a weird day, & she doesn't need to. as angie used to say, dogs are proof of god. they can re-center a soul, no matter how sideways.
to close this weird day in the right way -- that is, with a more positive & grateful spirit--, here is a beautiful picture from father's day of three of my very favorite humans on this earth. the fourth should be here later tonight, & i can't wait to see my dear husband.
here's to the end of this weird day. as i hear all the time, this, too, shall pass. thank goodness.

dad's book!!! ... and practicing patience & powerlessness

amazing & wonderful children (many of my faves here)

dad's book finally got published!!!! here is the link: race, sports, and black unity ... yay, dad!!!!!!!
here is a wonderful pic mama took last monday of an act from our end of year elective show. we had dancing, singing, music-playing, puppets, art work, acrobatics, comedy. mama & madeline made the drive up the hill to catch the 1st show; the 2nd was postponed when killer bees decided to swarm near the art room where the kids were performing. by wednesday, the swarm had

james's early music biz years were with the chad watson band,
which also featured dale watson (no relation)

mister handsome and i

moved so  we had the 2nd show, but i was so sick i really didn't know what was up. i believe the 1st show went better tho at the 2nd, my dear little samuel (yellow sweatshirt) was able to play his horn on "saints go marching in" & "going to mardi gras."... then after end of school, last weekend's blues express show & helping corey at school, things turned weird. all was well, happy happy, but around here, happy can turn to waaaaaay too happy which can lead to myriad storming emotional states, so one night last week found me driving & searching, then returning home to experience total powerlessness -- to practice the world being beyond my control. in other words, to be realistic. the situation righted itself, so we went to bakersfield as planned, where it was blazing hot but we were with loving mom & dad & got great meals & i had nice trots in the heat with penny the dog. james had 2 doc appts which we (miraculously) made. at one i received emphatic lecture to take care of urgent james bidness & at 2nd james had allergic reaction & was laid up & monitored for several hours while  i practiced patience & powerlessness some more. as a result, we ended up staying with the gias one more night, which was fortunate; it's a safe & pleasant place to be, &, as dad said, "it's good sometimes to come home to the roost."
last night we had dinner out then drove to maui sugar saloon in reseda to meet chad watson, who helped bring james into the business. chad's a hugely tall, friendly, winning, generous performer; accompanying him was harry orlov & house drummer i did not know. along the way i practiced patience & powerlessness again as we thought james was having a relapse of allergic reaction, but the eve ended up just fine tho challenging to endure when (in my rarefied american-music snob opinion) much of the music just flat sucked (tho not that of chad, james, & harry). as james said, "open mics are tough, but they pay the bills." chad, grinning gently, pleasantly, did a bada** bass solo (!!) on "cowcow boogie," demonstrating a skill level of different realm than most musicians we know. james's shout-singing & showmanship got a big reaction from the audience in his 3 short songs. harry orlov, whom i know primarily from the elvis shows, then called me up sing. surprised,  i complied with "mean mean man," & it was another experience under the belt, not my best singing (hard to perform without piano barrier), not my worst, just another moment.
time for a nap before school board meeting in support of corey's principal-ship.

the next indicated step

peewee looking like he just did something to penny

feeling tired & grateful. school is out. my dear friend will be our principal. friday we worked, did new teacher interviews, then headed down the grapevine where i was introduced to pieology, a place where you can get a brick-oven baked pie that though small has all the toppings you want: delicious! today i helped her some more, my sharp, generous, wild friend, "a force of nature," dad calls her, & her lovely little funny daughter.  our next year at school looks so bright; i hope i can rise to the challenge because i always have been a talented teacher (it being genetic, i think), but now i will need to attempt Mama and Corey (my friend) level: master teacher. she gifted me today with all kinds of materials for next year, dashing off all kinds of brilliant ideas, causing me to realize my increased responsibility to do this job to my best. i hope i will be worthy because if i am, i will get to be part of achieving great things next year at school.

i won first place in my age group recently at a run along bakersfield's
kern river on the bike path that i still so miss. the event was a fundraiser for
HALT animal rescue, which reminds me: you should watch the
documentary "Life in the Doghouse" on Netflix.

last night i played with james & the band in north long beach. i realized on the drive i haven't been South since our new orleans trip two months ago, & that was just to drop the car at LAX! fun riding with james there & back. he was so entertaining, sweet, warm, silly, my dear husband. we had a fun show though the PA blew out my right ear by end of set two. i also should've brought a snack like steve kida always does; all were exhausted except steve by end of night. yesterday was a books day, too: got five or 6 in the early afternoon when james & i hit our local thrift store, where we got to see our favorite white-haired little southern lady, then before the gig i walked down the street in the breezy early eve to see what was in the $1 racks outside
the used bookstore, returning to the club loaded up with great titles for friends, loved ones, meself.
i have no active addictions anymore, so buying too many books or scavenging for neat items for home, others, or my brain: it's a worthwhile obsession that i'm blessed to have the time & ability to pursue.
...
...i was in a bad mind-space earlier, likely due to fatigue (3 am is waaaaaaay too late for me at this stage of my life), & for the first time in many years i used earbuds while exercising, walking penny to lake of the woods & back on evening trails while listening to a speaker meeting recording. the speaker described being yucky, selfish, shameful, arrogant & baffled before being awakened to the presence of god, spirit, higher power. i especially enjoyed how he talked about his sponsor & his wife. his ultimate message was one i needed to hear: i should be ever-grateful for the life i get to lead & remain in action by asking all the time, what is my next step to be?
the lovely walk & the speaker's words got me right-sized again. it's a wonderful life i get to have. good evening to anybody reading this.

blablablablablablablabla

-it snowed this morning. on may 22. freaky!
-school was not cancelled because it was a "warm" snow, so the roads weren't at all icy.
-no climate change, huh? dump can suck an egg. i can't wait til he is imprisoned!!!!
-on mother's day while grocery shopping with mom and dad for their big bash (mama's day + dad's birthday), i got some discount foccaccia breads, so now i'm baking one topped with pasta sauce, green bell peppers, mushrooms, garlic salt, basil, & some canned roast "beast," as my paternal aunts have called it. the animal flesh came from a yard sale last weekend that turned out to be an awesome thing: out off darling road, driving in past stables with quarter horses, "million dollar horses," said james, to a ranch property plateau featuring a partially-built, 10,00 square foot buried house resembling an earth ship but made of concrete. also at this sale were trailer after shipping container after trailer after shipping container of machining tools; bumper-car-looking vehicles that likely were vintage golf carts; classic vehicles from model A to lincoln continental; a silver airstream trailer; all kinds of heavy machinery from cement truck to excavator to bull dozer; industrial fans; boxes of canned butter (i took home three because the cans were beautiful); scores of office chairs; rebar; camp fridges; more vehicles; tools of all kinds; &, inside the uncompleted house, cool as a cave, table after table of endless items; the list went on & on & on & on. this was the estate of a man who passed a few years ago; his son-in-law said that building this gigantic house, his life dream, likely had shortened his life; he worked endlessly on the project, year after year, obsessively. i thought, predictably, of quixote.
- james shared friendly chatter with the young man, who has a stray cats tribute band back home in indiana & was fascinated by james's talk of a working musician's experiences. james brought home, among other things, a high school-style locker, diamond-head tools, & a full box of canned food, the good kind from cost-co. i got bird houses, another bird fountain, some little bakelite-looking fixtures for the trailer, & other stuff...

here are some pix from the most recent, "electrifying" bakersfield show with whiteboy james & the blues express. i met maureen & phil c, independently, in 1995, the year my life had to change, & was so very delighted to see both as well as a few others i've not seen in years! i hope you can see the delight on everyone's faces. what a great time that evening was! if only my health would have stayed with me... i've just been off & on sick before & since.
- just got home from the meditation meeting & am filled up with this fortunate feeling of being alive, loving others, being loved, & having only golden problems anymore.
-think i have adenoiditis, but hope it's only sinusitis, which is familiar. this mercurial weather is dramatic & beautiful, but NOT good when one's head is a barometer!
- well, the timer just went off, so once james is back from walking the penny, time for pizza.

coco montoya

the pages, may 2019

last night i got off my deathbed to get to play with james & band, opening for coco montoya, who is a gentlemanly blues-rocker whom james of course has known for years. the venue was world records downtown bakersfield; james was ultra-triple-level raunchy & funny; the audience roared with shock & laughter & concluded his set with standing ovation. mom & dad were highly complimentary of james & the band, & a bunch of my friends of bill i've not seen in years were there! afterward, we drove the country route, stopping at sonic so we could sit in the car in the nighttime together & enjoy the evening a little longer... today we're waiting to sell some stuff, & i need to pull weeds. so glad allergy near-death seems to be abating... i have over 400 pix in my phone, & since i don't think i'll be uploading them anytime soon, nor making any photo albums, here are some from last night. this is a wonderful life.

antknee, me, blake, james in background, steve off camera

i like this pic of coco, which resembles manuel

instead of loading out, james dances out

maureen and i!

eric robert, or maybe fox mulder, pro keyboardist

eating greasy food at sonic drive-in

a lovely evening

Bed Dos Post

My trend seems to be to post not much, and when I do, post from bed. I am sick. James is sick. Gorgeous weather, tho. Earlier a tiny, tawny bunny hopped out into the middle of the back yard & munched on grass as I rested here on the bed w James and animals, looking out on the greatest view in the world, sez Mama, that is, this mountain of forest that stretches beyond the yard. So lovely. Been doing little, plowing thru New Yorkers, stopping when headaches overwhelm. One long article was about the difficulty of getting off psych meds, how they're overprescribed & kicking them is a whole new hell. Only time I faced that was when I left my 1st marriage, had a 2 yr nervous breakdown, then was misdiagnosed & put on 2 inappropriate meds when the real problem was

a yucky relationship I was ruined enough to have been in. Reading the article made me think I should taper off my current pill, a low dose appropriately prescribed one, but in my bones I know I should not since I've had depression/anxiety since age 8 & reading an article will not make that disappear. For instance, last night I received a pic of my former dog son, GusGus, who in canine years is now 91, & found out he is now deaf and blind, & the sight of that precious dear in old age threw me into a maelstrom of grief. Life, life, life is flying by. Oh woe is me. (My balloon of suffering, to cite Frankl, is indeed small.)  Later, I wondered if that had been a "normal" reaction to a photo of a former pet... Could've been caused in part by being sick, so today I did not teach & got little done but cleaned house went to store just had fun reading a fashion mag been getting free & now we're eating delicious paletas, Mayan chocolate flavor, as the sun lowers & the mountains cool. (And now, just like that, James is again snoring oh so softly beside me.) My primary hope  right now is that I can muster strength to walk little Penny, who is nowhere as handsome/beautiful as GusGus, but is quite adorable, our funny dear girl, "unusually attached to her people," says Dad, & very deserving of some exercise.

We went to Baton Rouge & New Orleans recently, HAD A GREAT TIME. (oops; god of hyperbole  hit the cap button there.) Tapping finger tired, so  I will post phone pix &  more later.
Ps, may Sunday bring us a '63 Lil Loafer... We'll see.

Bed Post

arrrrrrrggggggggggghhh!!!

I am posting from bed using speech to text. I will talk slowly and clearly to avoid embarrassing, even sometimes treacherous misspellings that occur when I talk too quickly. (A recent one I sent without checking said I'd be running with my nipples dragging me, not running with my puppy dragging me & in WHAT POSSIBLE PHONETIC UNIVERSE COULD THAT HAVE OCCURRED EXCEPT ONE GOVERNED BY THE HILARIOUS GOD OF HUMILIATION???) Can't do much about usage and grammar errors that occur, such as in the last sentence when speech to text believed to to have one o, not two. Just now when I said one o, and it just did it again, speech to text enter the numeral 100. It doesn't understand context, such as the differences between forms of there, in that way being like many of my dear little students. Lately speech-to-text seems to be less accurate, and maybe that's because its algorithm actually has worsened more as ensuing millions of people with different accents use it and confuse it. I dunno. Parentheses had to type that one. Close parentheses. Haha
Last night I was thinking about my husband and did something I haven't done in a long while which was write some songs. The trick is 2 just let them roll out, see what happens . One came out pretty funny and cool. I wonder if I'll ever be able to record it or play it with others. I love teaching, but I miss playing music.
Right now doggy's laying on my sore hip stretching it out, my canine chiropractic traction device. We are supposed to run at the park. Zzzzzzzz.
Here's a picture Corey sent from two weeks ago when I had to carry most of the show because James was egregiously late. You can see the stress on my face, but in the end I remembered, although grimly, that I can be a band leader when needed. I wish I'd known he wouldn't be there so that I could have practiced and also that we could have had a sound system for the first 1.5 sets when Anthony was late arriving as well. Oh well. It is what it is. Corey told me she had to leave shortly after taking this pic, but reality was she was stressed out someone was going to get mad or say something to me and so bailed out. "I told Christy I gotta go or I'm going to have to punch somebody in the face if they say something mean to Jenny," she told me. She is a great friend. And apparently when she taught off the hill, a barroom brawler. Yet another thing she and James have in common.
Spring is in the air and my students are feeling  it. The bed is soft and warm, the light soft and golden through the curtains, but it's time to get up and start another day.