(play jeopardy theme)

 my sponsor will be on zoom in a few minutes, so i am twiddling my cyber thumbs. these are nice pix from beautiful becky v, james's friend whom i hope might be mine, too. she seems quite gracious, a quality that i find so endearing... penny & i just did 3 miles on my newest hoka one one shoes, but i blew it with these ones, a dang shame bc they're the 1st full-price running shoes i've purchased in about 15 years. to celebrate no heart problems at all, i bought them at sole to soul [sp?] in bakersfield. my feet were quite tired after a long work day & i left w/the chunkiest, most comfy pair, which unfortunately i now find are like running in platforms. oh well. live & learn.

time to go work on step 3 some more...

finally!!!!!!!

 

trips and trees

now that i've gotten my two covid shots, we've ventured out more... well, that's a fib -- bc of our rural life, we have been relatively unimpeded in small travels, lucky bc we don't see many people & therefore haven't had to worry as much about covid contact. at school, my friendboss has been so paranoid about infection that since the kids came back last november we have used triple levels of protection protocols -- i told the kids they've been safer at school than anyplace else bc of all the sanitizing, barriering, social distancing, and etc! we teachers too, then, have been safer, less likely to spread infection.

so the point is, we have gotten to go out here and there.

ok, so these are pix from a recent magical hike up mount pinos and trip to ventura... a moment of silence for all who've lost their lives during this past year-plus, in part bc the orange stain former resident of the u.s. didn't take care of business, to deadly effect.

enough about that creature; here is to the soon-to-occur reopening of our country!

this was about 2 miles up; at the farthest point on the road
is ruby the car, not visible here, of course

 

the road was closed, so the farthest we were able to hike
was to this wild & windswept, gorgeously verdant
campground at chuchupate. the shush of the pines
and smell of the forest was awe-inspiring!

james and the giant rock

in ventura the old main street has been closed off
to traffic, so we were able to walk  alot, discovering
that ventura is re-opening: people strolled the picturesque
street & dined al fresco. at the busy bee cafe, we shared
a banana split with an extra scoop of spumoni.

this is the ancient moreton bay fig tree in downtown

ventura. it is a mighty, majestic beauty, a stunner, a

real reminder of our human tininess both physical

and temporal.

happy at the tree -- not to mention that figs are god's
most wonderful fruit

 

obsessing over go-karts, james's improv over ammons' boogie-woogie

this is the only way i could figure out how to get this video from facebook onto this blog; i wrote about it below, then forgot about it til this eve... anyways, here it is. (wow! i just listened & recording the video FROM a video created the coolest reverb!) 

well, it's almost mimis time around here. i intended to research & practice ghosh yoga this eve, but instead sat on my brain here obsessing over california-legal utvs. i think i want to order a 4 seater; then the family can ride along when we go up in the mountains. i don't want anything fast bc in our family a young cowboy cousin-of-a-cousin lost his life going fast on a quad. that still haunts me, & dad even mentioned it when i told him i was looking for a utv for us -- off-road go-kart, side by side, don't matter.

a few months back i was jogging penny home & near our house is a very steep dirt trail that parallels & abuts the highway. two fellows in a side by side went tearing a*s past us along the road, beverages in hand, whooping it up, leaving us in a cloud of dirt as they cut across the highway at top speed & plowed straight up that narrow, steep trail, still at top speed, got to the top, &... stalled out. then for some insane reason, they rocked the vehicle TOWARD the cliff that fell off onto the highway & as i watched, in slo-mo, they teetered, then tumbled, then crashed end-over-end, boom! boom! boom!... SMASH!!!, landing sideways on the asphalt of the highway. i ran with penny, imagining blood & exploded skulls, but as i approached, i just heard a loud f-bomb exclamation & then knew they were ok. "do you need help?!?!" i exclaimed, & angrily, probably embarrased, they both yelled "NO!!!", stuck there in the tiny vehicle, lives saved by its small roll bar, jammed in like sardines, but they did not want MY help, some middle-aged woman with a dog... i walked off, my help rebuked, as a luxury sedan AND a dirt bike screeched to halts, the men in each jumping out to go give rescue. so i just took my penny dog & went home. let the men help the men, i guess.

so when we get our utv or off-road go-kart (with FREE SHIPPING! maybe from TEXAS!), we will need to avoid that kind of danger....

but i know i'd never be stupid enough to speed up something that narrow, steep... and right next to a highway!!

well, i think it's time for bed now. hope you enjoyed the video.

 

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  been in a sick haze for a while since finding out about gene t's death, me & thousands of other music lovers around the world, i think. there is such a ginormous hole now where the bada*s boogie-woogie pianist was...  i felt better recently learning that he had told friends he was ok & didn't want to be picked up, that he had a roommate & they'd decided to stay in their rooms to keep warm, that he wasn't alone, that ppl were in touch w/him, so sounds like he went to sleep & passed. so if he had lots & lots of blankets to wrap up in, maybe that wasn't such a terrible way to go. it's still a horrible loss for the music world & everyone who loved him, but since we all gotta go..

two wks ago i thought i was gonna go bc of my heart, which is what took gene. i actually had to go to the e.r., realizing in all my yrs on this planet, that was the 1st time i'd been in a hospital bed. it felt to be covered with memory foam, surprisingly comfy. after the initial shock of being told i'd had a "past heart attack," i decided to be observant & calm. the ppl at mercy southwest in bakersfield were very nice & the experience ended after only 7 or 8 hrs. they found nothing wrong w/my ticker after thorough testing, so i went home & james cared for me scrupulously for several days. and yesterday was my first followup & in upcoming wks will be tests, but overall it's a good thing bc i would rather do all that than find out too late something's wrong.

my friend tjarko had gone through it too, recently, but his good friends, late of the late great ronny dawson's band & much more, picked him up when he was freezing to death in his austin apt, after a major surgery, moreover. saved his life, maybe. in pain, freezing, he thanked them  & i do, too.  i am lucky to be healthy & so happy tjarko's friends helped him in his time of need.

i can't think of austin the same way anymore. the past 10 yrs have seen it turn into a pretty d**chey place compared to the funky little town of 30 yrs ago (when i first went there). but the recent storm, gene's death most likely due to it... i don't think i wanna go there for some time, music or no music. too many west LA folks there now, or those w/the west LA vibe.

anyways, i had such a long day today with my students being just wonderful all day, but i gotta get ahead with grading & planning so i can go to the heart doc tomorrow, so i worked late, got home, we had dinner, then james & i played some music. i've been playing every day because gene did. i need to play every day. i have the ability to play, so i need to maximize it. here is what my wonderful husband came up with, impromptu, as i play an albert ammon knock off. 

(I WILL POST THE VIDEO LATER! BYE FOR NOW!)

wtf

 the greatest boogie-woogie piano player, a very talented writer, james's old partying and music friend, one of the most gifted humans on this planet, a funny witty ribald man, has died.

i thought i would write and reminisce about him, my experiences with him (mostly writing), but i'm just too, too sad. will play piano each and every day now... because gene sure did that.

so much more to tell about recent close calls, friends' recent close calls, weather here & in texas, selfish texas politics that led to this & other deaths... too blue. goodbye, eugene. i pray it was painless at the end, that you were shrouded in warm blankets, that you just slipped away, as sister angie suggested.

horrible, heartbreaking, inconceivable. wtf. :(

dog cat arthritis online school snow snow snow snow snow zoom oh how i hate zoom wind storm wind storm oh how i hate the violent winds snow snow sleep music tv eat exercise when weather allows cook clean hike cuddle snow snow snow grade papers plan lessons tutor on zoom call loved ones drive  snow snow snow snow snow repeat

covid winter life

but we have our health, so we must be grateful

in case any of us forget!!

 thrill to one of the greatest rocknroll performances every recorded!!!

FATS DOMINO AT AUSTIN CITY LIMITS - Bootleg and Original

today is Dr King´s birthday. in honor of him i will think of him more than usual today. also others who lost their lives fighting to make this country truly equal, as well as those who lost their lives because depraved institutions & individuals can be so very cruelly, horrifically, inhumanely unequal. i read about a run phenomenon to remember just one young person who was gunned down last year by racist pigs. what you do is jog 2.23... may you join the many many who want this country to be better in whatever way you can! #irunwithmaud 

nowś my chance!

 james is out visiting (socially distanced, i imagine), so nowś my chance to declutter this place! i was gonna sell a kids'speed bag set locally but ended up giving it away. the woman who pulled up to buy it has 4 kids covid-stuck at home. it felt stingy to take money for it, esp since we got it free. now if i can shed this broken amp... certainly someone will want to work on it to get it running... probably will end up giving that away, too, since we dragged it home free from the swap meet at the coast.

it feels better & better all the time to give stuff to folks. we have so much. we are both visual, & our place is a bit of a junk-art palace, or thatś how we love it, so much to look at, an assemblage feast for the peepers. so we have plenty, plenty, plenty. and itś fun to look at a thing & think, now who´d like that? who could really use that? who would LOVE that?

iḿ outside right now assembling a pergola. got it on the marketplace. i´m hoping it will be a nice patio since it will provide full sun coverge & has mosquito netting. had a covid test last wk after woke up out of breath & hurting bad head to toe with headache, but don´t think i have it. have been lying low, despite, with james bringing me water, oatmeal, ice cream, telling me not to go outside... now with james away, i can go outside & work a bit, take dog girl for a jaunt (walking, not jogging, don´t want to chance my health). weŕe gonna walk/hike some protein powder to corey later this afternoon...

i´ve been saving penny´s broken dog biscuits so last night when he took off i made them into new biscuits w/oats, honey, water, fresh rosemary from the yard, two eggs including shells... they actually smelled delicious when cooking, which led me to research pemmican online. today i made not pemmican, which is dried meat with fat & fruit, but a fiber-calorie dense thing that came out good. here is the recipe for this fiber-heavy rib-sticker:

finely diced apples, pears (about 3 cups)

2 cups dried oats

3 finely chopped dates

1/2 cup nuts (i used walnuts & diced almonds)

1 cup plain yogurt (greek or other)

2 eggs

chia, flax, hemp seeds, 1/4 cup (i used all of them)

cinnamon to taste

mix wet ingredients, then add dry. bake at 375 for 30 mins. leave in oven overnight to harden.

ok, back to work now!

let it snow, let it snow, let it stop!

weather said it would be snowing, but i didn´t believe it. then overnight it dumped!

it´s so beautiful at first... then... CABIN FEVER!!! i went to town to mail gifts i forgot to get in people´s hands. the post office was overrun with happy snow bunnies, cheering, whooping, laughing, slipping, throwing snowballs, sledding. it´s a nice phenomenon tho makes it hell using our local highway as the population of southern california converges here for a bit of snow play!

as you can see, i took penny out for a snow hike. i love the hush of snow, the crisp of boots crunching through it, the freezing nose. i took off my fogged-up glasses & my eyes burned with bright! then the lyrics of hoyt axton´s snowblind friend. then a gasp of tears. ¨he said he wanted heaven, but praying was too slow.¨ damn! hoy axton was a genius! he encapsulated the tragedy in 13 syllables! thoughts of those people who´ve died due to drugs flooded me; it was time to change thought stream or go down, down, down in misery.

that quickly, it was back to the moment, the beautiful moment! then home, now here, the next morn, dad at the surgeon, mom at home, james in the bed, pets sleeping, my old friend dan on the phone, talking sobriety, buddhism, life life life...

this is it.

christmas 2020 with whiteboy & jenny

click the link to listen: 

christmas 2020 with whiteboy & jenny

whoosh! swoosh! smooch!

 the wind is gusting and whooshing outside & james & his friend jeff are bellowing & laughing away in the basement below my feet! itś a happy day so far. we just returned from trip to central coast w/mom, dad, angie, doug, & maddy niece. i just ate the remains of sourdough with clam chowder scraped out from days ago restaurant, which i don´t know was the best idea bc food poisoning would sure end the happy day!

he just came in announcing he & jeff will go to the post office. we should have a buttload of gifts coming that i need to wrap. i hope everything´s there!

today we´re supposed to play & record some holiday music to put online, but the way the day´s looking, i don´t know if it will happen, but that´s ok...

so the wind is whooshing & gusting & itś a good day & on vacation preacher doug, my dear bro-in-law who could be called ahmed the arab trader, got us a house with panoramic ocean view in trade for work he´d done. iḿ constantly impressed by his ability to swing a deal. and he does it in pursuit of good deeds, which is what makes it awesome. we mostly sat around & talked & cooked & ate, colored on a xmas table cloth angie bought, they did a puzzle, we watched movies, read some, i went for jogs up & down the steep, steep hill, swoosh!, including straight up this hill i´d spied earlier & said i wouldn´t jog on, but there i went! sister & i took one little jaunt to the top of the hill together, which was very nice. & we all went to thrift shops where i got quirky gifts, & mama told stories remembering visiting pismo with family in little bungalows that used to line the beach, $59 for the week, grandpa & mr goodman surfing, aunt rita & mrs goodman digging clams & eating them raw, mama & uncle ralphy exploring the caves, so it was a nice time. here's a pic i love. james said, ¨i look so happy!¨ i love that man so much. dad told james, ¨i´ve never seen my daughter so happy.¨ life is good, in spite of its troubles.

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was sposed to go to bakersfield for momś sister´s 80th bd, but we are having 50mph gusts & i know that means itś likely the grapevine will go down due to chp closure or accident. the grapevine cyn, part of the I-5 artery, creates a massive wind tunnel vulnerable to fire & hazardous driving conditions. if i can´t get back, the animals will be alone since james is heading w/bro doug down to the border for mission tijuana toys. (i was gonna call doug about the wind, but nothing´ll stop him so there´s no point.) every yr doug brings a panel truck of toys to a tijuana church for distribution to local kids. james as co-pilot means they will have a great fun day of eating, bellowing, laughing, crying, caffeine consumption, smoking, & speeding that will lead straight into the late night. they will have a grand time but meantime someone´s gotta make sure penny & peewee pets aren´t left home all alone after hours. so iḿ staying here.

which is fine bc i´ve got plenty to do as well as extra allure of the storm sky show at the picture window here. it really captivates. 

called my aunt to tell her i wouldn´t be there & heard a crazy story. their dad, our grandpa, was a smart, depressed, grouchy, carob-skinned man of south american descent. i mostly remember him sitting glumly in his chair in the living room watching ball games & yelling at us kids as we stole sips from his ice tea glass. i always figured he was how he was bc he longed to be white, but my aunt said this: grandpa had been in the civilian conservation corp in early fdr days & was trapped in a forest fire in the sequoias. she said ¨they had an indian man who was helping them¨ and he told them all the only way they´d survive would be to strip off all clothes, including underwear & shoes, & run like hell through the flames to escape. only the guide, grandpa, & one other guy did it; the others stayed back & perished. all the hair on grandpa´s body was burned off & he spent weeks in a hospital near san francisco. so there might´ve been another reason our grandpa was so somber: trauma.

addendum: woke with a start in the middle of the night: our dear grandma, who put up with grandpa´s bad behavior for over 60 years, also was blunted by a horrifying tragedy. i think iḿ relating all of this because it helps support the idea that ¨if i knew all, i would forgive all.¨ ... or understand all. life is, after all, a path of uncovering, discovering, discarding, trudging, repeat...

there is little to forgive grandma for; we in the family joke that she was a saint to live with grandpa all those years. her family is native american, californianos due to their juaneno blood. as a young, beautiful girl, she & her sisters were outfitted in roaring 20s finery by a loving father. one day (was this in redondo beach? certainly not delano) she & her best sister margaret were out riding around in a truck with a boy when a jealous, spurned suitor of margaret´s, or maybe just a maniac someone who liked her but she didn´t like,  pulled up to the truck & fired into the window, killing margaret with one blast. our grandma was sitting in the truck right beside her sister when she was murdered.

so both of mama´s parents, i now know, were altered by trauma. that side of the family´s tradition of deep depression, anxiety, addictions, suicides now sadly makes a lot of sense. 

i made nyc take-out breakfast for james & i as the wind roared outside: everything bagel topped with cheddar & eggs. it was ultra-savory, a gut bomb, but that´s good bc won´t have to worry for some time about eating again.

well, i wanted to write to share the following recipe, but as usual a bunch of other stuff came out, so here finally is the recipe:

allergy & arthritis relief cocktail (i don´t really know if it works, but the individual ingredients are reported to, so all together should be even better, right?)

cup of cold tea for base (i used our homemade kombucha)

1/3 T turmeric + dash of pepper, which makes the turmeric bio-available

1/3 T ginger

dash of cayenne

dash of lemon

apple cider vinegar

one shot immediately clears my sinuses. i like to think it helps with reducing inflammation tho my neck still hurts like a mudderhumper.

ok, thatś all for now, be grateful, be well, remember to stretch & smile.

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 everything hurts! arthritis is caca. this morning my thumb kept popping painfully, but after i did a few sun salutations, it stopped. then i took my anti-inflammation cocktail & wrapped my foot with kt tape and felt a bit better overall, in the neck, shoulder, hands, ankles...

as mama says, everyone has their turn. itś my turn now. sister bee used to say we all have to take our lumps. 

james and i likely will both end up with arthritis due to the different ways we´ve roughed up our bodies over the yrs, so at least weĺl take our lumps together. it likely will force us to have to make better life choices, especially with moderating food & exercise...

oh! i feel so much better. my sponsor just called. i was wondering what happened to her bc we had a meeting & she didn´t make it. she is very honest & told me she simply had forgotten. i like that candor. it keeps things so much simpler, being honest.

well, thatś it for now... below are indigenous ppls turkey day pix

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

we had our first snow, the kids came back to school in-person, i have arthritis. and now in month 8+ of covid19 in the u.s., we have a real president. the ängry creamsicle"soon will be gone. 

big strong hunk w/our dear little pets

and if reputable articles are to be believed (as opposed to tweets, memes, posts, & videos), he might be wearing much orange in upcoming yrs... unless he leaves the country like some ousted, guilty despot. ¨make america great again," my butt: he´s ready to jump this ship in a hot second if the tide´s not just going his way, but parting for him. good riddance.

precious little mammals

but in better news, thanksgiving is upon us. our t-days will be different this yr, many less bodies in the family house, but i look fwd, anyways. looks like we might have to travel this yr for t-day, too, but thatś good bc that means all is going ever-better in the life of james, & therefore in mine, too.

me on halloween wearing
one of my coolest t-shirts

i am on vacation this wk which means i work myself into near-paralysis outside. i am digging a path for our front property so ppl can safely walk on our side of the rd. our property is 1/3 of an acre, so thatś a long strip of road. want to make signs, too: watch for pedestrians. and i glued old plates together, nice ones i´ve never been able to sell & don´t really want to anyways bc they are so pretty: california pottery, poppy trail, franciscan, bauer. iḿ going to make flowers out of them & stick them on the slope.

i have so, so many beautiful dishes. for an old fart so new to cooking, i´ve amassed so many lovely old plates & cups. crockery always has appealed to me. i guess itś the nascent Mama (meaning ours) in me; sheś always been quite a cook, so that little voice long has whispered thru plates to me: come.... learn the ways of the kitchen.... thank goodness for the tv show chopped bc now i see that cooking is inventive & fun & creative. on chopped, i´ve learned you can take odds & ends, scraps, leftovers & create yummy stuff. it took over 50 yrs... wonder what realizations of the obvious will occur over the next decades...

time to go rest, tho that is so difficult to do. there´s too much in this life interesting, so many situations to puzzle apart. well, iĺl go try. heard showtime´s adaptation of ¨good lord bird¨ is worth a view, maybe go watch that.... james just called, on his way home. yay! don´t have to rest. :)

happy anniversary happy anniversary happy anniversary haaaaaaappy anniversary!

 

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we found out the other day the kids finally are coming back to school! yay!

i am tired of making videos. since august, i have made maybe 200+ videos, no, maybe more like 300, for zoom classes, comment videos, lessons, etc. i know my face from every conceivable angle now!! argh!!!

sometimes i watch the videos to critique my teaching. i realize lately that this whole experience is making me a much better teacher. i've always had a knack for getting along with students, which i think is genetic since the whole gia family teaches or is retired from teaching. but now i care so much about the kids, like one of those middle-aged teachers i used to work with decades ago and just didn't get -- how could they worry about & think so much about & never mind LOVE "those kids"? how did they know all their families, their worries, their stories, their everything?

now i know. i adore these kids!!!! their lives are wrapped up with mine. i am deeply invested in these little people, & i love them so very much.

i wonder if covid teaching is doing this for most teachers -- making us more deeply-caring, careful, organized educators? that would be a great side-effect.

heading for mimis

 the other eve

we drove to big trees of pine mountain club nearby for mild adventure, twilight dinner with outside dining and he had fajitas and we took happy pic and this eve sitting with cat and dog laughing with him, we did all the responsible stuff earlier and since easy fun all eve playing little video games on phones watching office reruns for umpteenth time earlier ate tuna steaks and rice for dinner now he is having 2nd dinner tuna with noodles smells delicious like popcorn off to bed (- speech to text)

lately

 as the world seems more and more unhinged and the weather climate-change-crazy & crazier, we are better & better. i know there's no relationship, not indirect, not inverse, none at all. i limn the basics of the messed-up events of politics, environment, world health, & more, but mostly i just see  my little life, my james & our pet children,my family & friends, students, female drunk people, other humans in our tiny mountain town... 

 today i talked at length w/my zoom students about them being the future of the world. fifth graders are so different than even kids one year older, still concrete thinkers. one asked, "what do you MEAN we are the future of the world?" so i blabbed about that for a bit. he replied, "oh, that makes sense." :) lovely, their innocence. it reminds me i need to be ultra-responsible, care for their developing intelligence & social awareness like the soft, fresh little eggs they are.

on zoom, i can wear all the makeup i want & over-gesticulate, which is a SEMBLANCE of the stage performing i no longer do. in fact, being a painted up ham actually heeds a teacher's conveyance of message. we are trying to get kids stuck at home to enjoy school, already a tough sell, so playing to the back row is a good thing!

i like that i get to know more kids more closely, but that one-on-one time spent also makes socially distanced teaching so difficult. so many children need direct tutoring over & over just so they can understand how to access their lessons! the "high" students thrive, as they would in any environment, but the rest... more problems: we can't have discussions, really, or do group projects; we can't take breaks all together or do the impromptu things i enjoy. i can't even turn on chat due to some kids' immaturity. it doesn't feel much like school, with the lack of exchange of ideas, but i guess it's the only semblance possible right now.

plus it's better than not teaching at all... and it won't last forever.

the california fires have been bad, so bad. everywhere we go, the air is like "LA in the 70s," james said. or bakersfield in the 80s. ironic we go to bakersfield some weekends to escape the smoky wildfire smog of frazier mountain! how horribly unhealthy it must be closer to these gigantic fires! mom & dad have forced air, so they seal up their big house, crank down the thermostat, & we all breathe freely.

during our most recent visit, mama handed me down some dresses, so once home i asked james to take pix of me wearing them to send to her. he snapped these of us both, too, so here you go if you've missed seeing james's face. such a mug, such a handsome, talented, big-hearted mug. <3

we're not doing so bad for two oddball humans seasoned by life. the older i get, the more good i try to do, & he's doing that, too, so i'm certain that's why Life is better, even with external conditions what they are...

i hope the music comes back sooner than later & that the skies clear so i can run again without having an asthma or hay fever attack (which happened two times lately), but if not, this life is good as it gets. we are really dang lucky & that's all it is. not fortune, not the hand of god, just goddang lucky.

our very lives

 i get so mad sometimes at meetings when ppl spout opinions about sobriety. i'm kind of a big book thumper, maybe, tho not a zealot like some i've known, who get into rewriting the big book while entering ridiculous pronoun wars, not to help others, but to be high & mighty. poisonous. sometimes the human element of this wonderful, life-saving program is poisonous! most go into the drunk club pretty sick puppies... too many stay that way, & really, they need to shut their damned mouths! they will kill newcomers with their bullsh**, i think. :(

our very lives as ex problem drinkers depend on our constant thought of others. that's from the big book. yes people can get sober other ways like church, counselors, self-help, etc, but none of that worked for me. and psycho-babble, recovery talk, the bible, really none of it has valid place in the drunk meetings i attend, and new people don't know that unless i can model what is appropriate. even then, some never know what's appropriate due to outside issues, like someone i sponsored last year, but there was no sponsoring her bc her problem wasn't alcohol dependency. many people who come to meetings aren't alcoholic, especially if they've been court-ordered. and there's another issue.

today clancy, the guru of the pacific group (a hugely popular west LA drunk group that decrees women must wear dresses, men ties... whatever) passed away. he lived into his 90s, died sober, helped thousands, established the midnight mission, did so much good, tho surrounded by much controversy since "his" pacific group is considered a cult by many. (we aren't supposed to have leaders.) i watched a video today of clancy playing piano beautifully, an old show tune. he was a wonderful speaker. rest in peace.

i'm sponsoring someone now whom i'm worried about since this is a live or die thing not to be taken lightly, g**damn these people in groups & meetings spouting their stupid opinions!!!! we are the only big book a newcomer might ever see. stick to the book, people, or go someplace else! you will kill people who don't know better & think the drunk club is about "relapse prevention" and codependency & all those other concepts that certainly are valid,... tho not in the drunk club!!!

lastly, some of these sober geniuses were talking about how meetings AREN'T part of our program, but there's this, straight from the book: pp 159-160: "...a meeting [was] to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life. Aside from fellowship and sociability, the prime objective was to provide a time and place where new people could bring their problems."

the problem is, of course, too many people don't put heart & soul into working the steps, so they stay in that newcomer place, lives filled with problems.
problems are part of every life (into each, some rain must fall), but the 12 steps outlined in the big book offer a way to live "life on life's terms" without having to fall back into the certain death -- spiritual or physical --- of active alcoholism.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!

i finished my modules for canvas! next week we'll do a sentence building unit in ELA as we await start of textbook (the khan academy video compares using verb tenses to being a "word wizard" 😅), build a dream home (perimeter and area) in math-uh-matics, and study gravitational force in science, with history on hold for now. which i'm grateful for. whew. i mean, with the world as it is now, all the wokeness, all the strife, all the venal evil crap going on, i DON'T want to teach traditional american history!!!! my friend tjarko said all countries are formed in conquest, james says all countries have history of genocide & injustice... (what about iceland, though?)... just don't wanna deal with it right now.

and we had so much pizza this weekend due to many visitors this weekend: stepson cody! ben and nick! i got to record a little boy voice part for nick's animation sci-fi short today. that was fun. then the rest of the day has been canvas oblivion, learning to build these lessons for virtual learning, socially-distanced school. didn't even take a walk today... no exercise at all, except mentally, learning canvas, moving pages, adding pages, retitling, adding graphics, writing, adding videos, taking stuff out, over and over and over and over! but now i'm done! and it's

time for bed & to read a bit before sleep. and my arm is healing! i can lift it more & more, bend it more & more! thank you, physical therapy! thank you, time, & old body still able to regenerate!

lastly, here is a picture of my james, who seems to be great at catching & killing deadly snakes! and another pic of me on my birthday bc i got so many compliments from it on fb. my dad til he was close to 60 looked  young... that may be my sittyation at least for right now. & now dad's near-80, but tho too-thin, in my opinion, he gets around quite well. i need to be grateful for this old flesh machine still able to move & breathe & not hurt too much.

yaaaaaaaaaaay!!

1. found out yesterday i don't need shoulder surgery

2.  got cortisone shot

3. shoulder now not hurting as badly

4. went last wk to az w/james & now visiting bakersfield seems not so hot

5. we had a great time & ate good food & saw much beautiful landscape while social distancing

6. i hiked & jogged w/penny in flagstaff & sedona. awesome sights.

7. just now finally got into canvas & so now i can start prepping to distance-teach!

8. wrote my canvas profile, read it to james, & he said it sounded cheerful.

9. uploaded to canvas profile accompanying pic he took of me on my 53rd bd in flagstaff hotel rm. he'd just given me a bd gift of little art print (quail under moonlight), cake, roses, sushi, sweet card, & more.

10. we are grateful, lucky, happy, w/good lives In Spite of It All. must never forget to be grateful.

little house, little a*s, blablabla

this mini triceratops, near the house, was 3 in. long
(of course, itś an endangered horny toad, in reality)

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/221-Hickerson-Dr_Bakersfield_CA_93308_M98305-41943?view=qvhttps://www.google.com/maps/place/221+Hickerson+Dr,+Bakersfield,+CA+93308/@35.402876,-119.0343057,3a,75y,269.44h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1slDjtw-hsdKd9JoeeyHYdkA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo2.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DlDjtw-hsdKd9JoeeyHYdkA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D269.43533%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192!4m5!3m4!1s0x80ea69d201c2044b:0xafeec31f54517695!8m2!3d35.4028703!4d-119.0346048https://www.google.com/maps/place/221+Hickerson+Dr,+Bakersfield,+CA+93308/@35.402876,-119.0343057,3a,75y,269.44h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1slDjtw-hsdKd9JoeeyHYdkA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo2.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DlDjtw-hsdKd9JoeeyHYdkA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D269.43533%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192!4m5!3m4!1s0x80ea69d201c2044b:0xafeec31f54517695!8m2!3d35.4028703!4d-119.0346048

fat dog child, well loved

why can't i get anyone in the family to help buy this with me?? it would be a very cool project. younger family members might be able to live here in the future when they have the dough! this is a low-crime area near the freeway/kern river in bakersfield. not a fancy neighborhood, by any means, but not dangerous. that is of primo importance.
i could buy it by myself, but why? it should be a family thing. plus james & i are obsessing right now over buying a train caboose. and i am obsessing about fixing up our lil loafer trailer for mom & dad to glamp in. :) so the next preoccupation should sweep this one away quite soon.
oh well; maybe you'll read this & go buy it. what an investment opportunity! and think of all the neat "restoration hardware"  building material garbage that would be available for salvage & to make cool junk art & other creative things!

penny wore her rexspecs & after we had coffee chocolate slushies

this was the nicest, most fun hike i've ever had up mt pinos!
what a happy time for us both in our beautiful mountains.

nothing new here except my injured arm is a fractured humerus/ripped rc & bicep. after i hung up with the doc & told james, he was hooting, "my tough little cookie! my little stud!" proud of me for putting up w/pain since mid or late may when in fact i was just being a stubbornheaded ass about getting an mri sooner... my name is jenny, after all.  https://www.facebook.com/mammothdonkeys/photos/lucille-is-a-mammoth-donkey-jenny-stands-15-hands-3-lucille-is-not-for-sale-her-/283450832448688