"g*d helps three kinds of people: fools, lovers, & drunkards."

ohhhh my feet...

james looks so handsome here. my eyes are slits.

a quick search revealed there are variations on the above, so i just chose this one. no, it's not in the bible; that part's clear.
in 1995 i'd just gotten sober & missed the international drunk convention by 2 weeks. in 2000 & 2005, i got to attend wonderful events in minneapolis & toronto w/my 1st husband. in 2010, i went to san antonio w/a person whose function in my life was as placeholder for james. in 2015, i was too broke to go. in 2020, we were all signed up for detroit, but it was cancelled by covid.
i wanted to do something special to mark my july 4th 25th sobriety "birthday," so i went on a 25 kilometer trudge from our house out lockwood valley road & back. our road out to lake of the woods, where you turn onto LV, has a beautiful foot path w/forested village all around! i felt like i was walking in germany, like that one time w/james!  LV road isn't nearly as desolate as i thought & has a friendly lively serenity that made the trip so memorable. on LV road, i kept thinking i was in texas or in south dakota, not mere miles from our house.

ventura county line

did the last 3.1 miles (5k) w/penny dog, who wore her rexspecs obediently. the last miles were a slog; my body was doing fine til i got to my feet: those dogs were dead!! after slathering them w/tiger balm & napping, i went w/james to "the wolf meeting" near lake hughes where they have a wolf rescue place. they didn't have a 25 year chip, which i didn't think they would, so james presented me w/a paper bowl, flipped & topped w/candles, as everyone sang. i thought i'd found a sponsor, but the woman i asked is moving to colorado! damn. still, it was quite a lovely sobriety birthday, much better than most any in memory. :)
anyways, i'll keep looking for a sponsor, & here are some pix.

at this pt the road dropped off steadily, heading for ojai

ahh, heading back toward home now

not much further!

finished!

indy pendants daze

tomorrow is 25 yrs' sobriety for me.
i am going to do a trek.
thatś all iḿ saying for now soś i don´t blow it.
ps, hereś another pic of james & me for his fans (obviously bc look @ my hair don´t - yet another fascin pho paw. *sigh*)

libraries closing

i feel sick...

monday june 29, 2020: Kern County residents, we have until 5 pm  today, Monday, to protest possible closing of all KC Libraries by board of supervisors vote. Please contact everyone you know who supports local libraries -- the number is 661-868-3640. You must mention agenda item #28. Thank you for spreading the word in these last final minutes. jennypage

blablablablablablablablabla

the latest obsession - this is ville virtanen, & he reminds me of boris karloff... when i was younger/before i was mrs page, this would've gone in my "future ex-husbands" folder. i just love the  sad, saturnine face & everything about this actor in this series!
this (bordertown, original title sorjonen) was a swell show, not bc of plots, which oftenttimes tho luridly gripping seemed far-fetched, but mostly bc of the main character, pictured here, w/his brainy oddness & awkwardness, & i did love the cinematography w vastly lucious overhead shots of scandinavia, & the tough female cop of world-weary beauty. the show makes me want to study finnish...
sigh. the gnat-mind flits again.
in other news, i did NOT do something sh*tty last wk, & the world's a mess, it's in james's kiss, & i'm reading a book about punk rock & most of those ppl were pretty crappy humans. what a shock.
americans should speak out about injustice! i remember as a kid learning about "manifest destiny" &  wondering, "why did they think that land should be theirs when the 'indians' already lived there?" a country founded in genocide & slavery cannot have lasting peace. :(
in much smaller news, yet enormous in my life right now,
james + jenny = true love
nothing is harder or more worthwhile.

taking it eeeeeeeazzzzzzeeeeeeeeee

hi. i wrote a long screed about the the u.s. right now but ain´t gonna post it. too many others so much better-informed, even tempered, & brighter than i am are writing about & commenting upon it all... so instead, i got to attend a 12 step mtg from atlanta on zoom & now will post a picture of howlin' wolf bc today is his bd. he would be 110 yrs old. what a powerful & handsome man he was... wow...
billy watson called james ¨the modern-day howlin wolf," & more & more i understand it bc chester burnett was a real man´s man but not a pig, good to women. he performed w/ferocity, vulnerability, & complete commitment, was an original, searing performer, & also drove women nuts w/his silly, wild, lascivious antics. james doesn´t do the latter much nowadays, for which i, his wife, am very grateful.
so on to more topics that have nothing to do w/the foul, continually putrid actions of the imposter in chief & his minions... iḿ using this time of no teaching to work on yard art w/junk from the yard sale & came across this beautiful work: https://www.soosunnypark.com/unwoven-light
i don´t know whatś going on w/james & i making an album, or CD, or downloadable, or whatever it would be... but iḿ grateful to have given my old clavinova to a deserving student so i could set up the old korg sp-250. mama bought it for me yrs ago in the pomona arts district, so itś special for that reason & i haven´t been able to use it bc the external speaker broke & couldn´t find anyone to fix it, so i combined it w/my awesome roland amp which i ALSO can´t use at gigs bc it was in james´s rollover crash several yrs ago. the green hornet was totalled, but james came out somehow, amazingly, w/a sore shoulder, tho he was ejected from the vehicle during the crash. the amp, along w/lots of other gear, also went flying across several lanes of the I-5. and except for a volume level short circuit (its volume drops by half sometimes when it powers up), it works still! that is one tough husband... and one tough amp!!
anyways, this new set-up sounds so swell, i want to play the piano all day. so whenever we get going on recording, iĺl be ready. :)
the other day we got to go out to eat in a restaurant after having had a bad experience w/rude ppl. so the timing was especially nice. i had baked potato w/fixins, green beans, & catfish. james had a chicken salad & fake beer. and we were happy to be out & about, tho cautiously.
hereś our pic from that day. james gets more & more handsome all the time. <3 p="">

finally got a new phone after nearly 5 yrs, so i snapped a pic of some of the last of this yrś wildflowers.

below is what my high school friend jenine posted on fb. she moved to new zealand after shrub (as molly ivins called him) was elected. she is brilliant, & in this case, she is correct.
"I have privilege as a White person because I can do all of these things without thinking twice about it...
I can go jogging (#AmaudArbery).
I can relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemSean and #AtatianaJefferson).
I can ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride).
I can have a cellphone (#StephonClark).
I can leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards).
I can play loud music (#JordanDavis).
I can sell CD's (#AltonSterling).
I can sleep (#AiyanaJones)
I can walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).
I can play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).
I can go to church (#Charleston9).
I can walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).
I can hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell).
I can party on New Years (#OscarGrant).
I can get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).
I can lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).
I can break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).
I can shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .
I can have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).
I can read a book in my own car (#KeithScott).
I can be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).
I can decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).
I can ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).
I can cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).
I can take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo).
I can run (#WalterScott).
I can breathe (#EricGarner).
I can live (#FreddieGray).
I can ask someone to put a leash on their dog when it is required in the public park we are in (#ChristianCooper).
I CAN BE ARRESTED WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING MURDERED. #GeorgeFloyd
White privilege is real. Take a minute to consider a Black person’s experience today.
#BlackLivesMatter”
*I copied and pasted this...please do the same.

gunsmoke blues (1971) & not cool, not cula

this is the coolest thing i've seen in a while. can't believe i never knew about it til now!! wow...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ATwmyuhmeY
earlier we drove down to denny's at the grapevine & ate. it was not as exciting as i'd thought it would be after months out of restaurants: clean & quiet. somber, even, the few diners spaced generously. the waitstaff wasn't quite as good as i'd thought they'd be with so few ppl to serve. but heck, most ppl still are weirded out, including servers, likely, so i left a good tip, regardless. i just learned a work colleague friend's family member died last week of covid19. :( it's sure not hit our county like the eastern cities or (to much lesser extent) LA, but ppl are dying. it's not over. i will cautiously respect "reopening efforts," but also will continue to be careful & respectful of others' space, & if they don't respect mine, i can't give them a piledriver like james maybe would, but i can wear my mask & turn away.
so we came home & ended up watching a short interview w/"the last beegee," barry gibb, which isn't something i'd think i'd watch, but i was caught off-guard. james & i are of the age when the beegees were the biggest thing, & that's embarrassed me in past, but we watched it, moved to see that barry gibb is gentle, sincere, & kind. all of his brothers have died. my god. his grief is real, touchingly expressed. it made me remember a few summers back on vacation w/family, driving w/sis & bro-in-law in a gigantic rentavan & james & i singing aloud to beegee songs with soaring hearts (& falsettos).
we didn't have elvis & little richard, like mom & dad had (my god! what THEY had!!! unprecedented, never to be equaled!), but this was our youth. childhood pleasures are innocent, & i was happy with family in van to share sappy music from a time before i knew what i was supposed to like & dislike... i don't have to be "so cool, i'm cula," to paraphrase the movie american me.
a lamb across the road yells often, such a sad, insistent bleat. he is going off right now, poor little guy or gal. and being home, i have seen more beautiful birds these past months than ever. they likely are migrating during day when in normal routine i would be in the classroom. these birds, so vibrantly white, blue, red, yellow, & more, always cheer us. the lizards, too: seen more of those than ever before, some looking over 6 inches long (james has named two of them leroy & larry), & lots of grasshoppers/maybe locusts... sitting on the couch after the barry gibb show, listening to the birds, we took some photos w/our newish tablet, james recovering from an eye injury, me from badly cut bangs.
 boy, we sure are lucky. still not pushing up daisies, enjoying this nice weather, nature, some time for music & contemplation. no complaints here, not ever, i hope.

the pain! the pain!

on a familiar trail nearby, we found an unfamiliar stream :D

have you ever cooked something so tasty, you couldn´t stop eating, even though it burned the roof of your mouth with each painful bite?
i am doing that now. and really enjoying it!!
picked up a neat cookbook from the dollar store -- all recipes use tinned fish. so the other night i cooked a tuna pasta recipe & it was a hit, in jamesś opinion. today i took the leftover sauce, rubbed it on halved french bread, added cheese, garlic, parsley, popped it in the oven on our new cast iron skillet on a film of olive oil. i thought it came out delicious!! james, not so much. i had described it as pizza, and his taste buds expected that.
more for me!
anyways, heś not suffering any. that guy could live on iced tea, chicken and ice cream.
i keep telling him that be a great song title, something in the louis jordan vein. i think iĺl write it right now!!

what are you reading? i am so excited: got in the mail running with sherman (chris mcdougall) & why we run (bernd heinrich). run run run! teach online school, run run run, online math class, play music, hang out with james, visit family, enjoy nature, enjoy pets, play my dumb little tablet game, clean, scavenge for & build stuff out of junk, too many zooms, but whoś complaining... that´d be insane!
this is life for now... may you be healthy!

grizzled & grateful: let's make some music :D

since "this" all started, we've seen a big increase in ppls hiking up the hill beside our house, other side of the arroyo. right now as i type, what's different is the guy heading up seems to be talking to himself, wearing too-tight jeans, yammering at somebody unseen.
so i conclude even crazy ppl are outdoors now. was he driven crazy by sheltering in place? maybe always crazy? don't know.
people are social distancing, but going outside more. and spring is here. glorious spring! i read today that generation Z, even, is going to get burned out on the screens by this. and maybe once this time of virus passes, ppl will stay in the great outdoors... even the soft-bellied young ones, who once they see the light of day, might revel in it, realizing how greater is the joy of stretching limbs in the presence of mother earth compared to tapping away at an uncaring mobile device.
as for us, we is happy. grizzled & grateful, as you can see here. unshaven, gray haired, kinda grubby from yardwork & being homebodies, but what a great time lately has been! mom & dad traveled here today to see the wildflowers, so we headed out 138 toward the mohave. james knows every turn in the road now, w/his frequent travels to that area these days. there was some kinda super bloom in session, wide carpets of gold blossoms exploding for miles, and yellows & purples, too, less dramatic, just as  lovely. then we headed down 3 pts road, exclaiming over and over and over, how beautiful! how pretty! wow! how nice! nature everyplace. nature doesn't care a toenail about shelter in place. we got out many times to look at vistas, flowers, rocks, streams (we spied one the other day, too, a surprise shushing down a canyon we have hiked, wiping out part of the trail, but what a delight to find!) then it was back home to give puppy girl her eye meds (she is so good & compliant about it all) & eat cookies & taco bell & strawberries; what a nice time.
yesterday here at the house we played music for long hours, such a welcome. haven't done that for a long time. then he tells me a friend of his for decades (of course! james has more friends than i can count!) said some time back he wanted to record a james & jenny CD. whoopee! why not? teaching school remotely is extra-busy business, but music? life without music is no life, to paraphrase vonnegut. let's make a record!

sheltering in place

facetiming w/mama & dad (later we will try zoom w/them)

peewee & penny crash the women's zoom mtg

looking toward tejon ranch & I-5 from the trail

early wildflowers on the high school x-country trail

spring storm two days later

not sick in a time of sickness; goodness prevails

knock wood.
so strange to be feeling physically well, when so many are ill all around. :(
i was ill for the longest ever (yet in this life), about 43 days. however, this week, it finally lifted except for lingering congestion. been able to jog/hike with dog girl again, a wonderful thing! after all, we humans are inherent runners. (see bernd heinrich, why we run, as well as a host of other titles, primarily born to run by christopher macdougall.)
dr anthony fauci is 79, works up to 20 hr days as head of disease control for our country, still finds time to jog/power walk 3.5 miles daily. he's fit a a fiddle, doing major good for us all, contradicting the blowhard-in-chief as needed, telling the truth! a brave, hale old man... like our dad if he'd chosen medicine & public office rather than education!

amazed not to be ill, waiting for students on zoom.
still not pushing up daisies.

james returned from southern cal speaking ominously of night-time roving gangs in face masks, bored young a**holes made dangerous by idle time & lack of morals/maybe finances, but definitely morals. however, except for a porky dude on a quad i spotted scoping out houses last wk up & down our road, i've seen mostly good acts during "this uncertain time." jim from our favorite show the office made a heartfelt video, some good news, posted on youtube & enjoyed by millions. angie & mama are making masks, many, many masks. many, many are making many, many masks! -- donating masks to ppl w/o them so they will feel safer. yes, the masks don't help medically, but as the LA mayor said, they serve as reminders... please, keep your distance. at least for now.
(maddy informed me fashion masks already are a thing in korea...)
i was meditating & heard the words, "god sent this to get rid of t*ump!" instantly,  knew that was ridiculous, but still, "shelter-in-place" definitely runs counter to t*ump's philosophy of money, greed, me over you, domination, ignorant sputtering bullying, spend spend spend, give it all to me. ads on tv speak (disingenuously, for the sale, but still speak) of family, togetherness. ppl cannot go out & idly spend, tho i spose the true shoppers can plow ahead online (some have speculated -- half-jokingly, mebbe -- that the virus was started by amazon).
i got 10 boxes of books from sue, our thoughtful local librarian, yesterday. was able to PACK our little library & put word out locally online. hope ppl get books before the snow hits tomorrow & this week.
one neat phenom is video mtgs, which, i read, have let the genie out of the bottle: ppl don't need to commute hours daily to get to work; the lonely don't have to be isolated. one drunk mtg, broadcasting from the yukon, featured over 500 ppl! major "experience, strength, & hope" was on display at that one... :) i've gotten to call, text, email, & zoom w/my students & their families in effort to stay in touch, but no zoom this wk w/my dear kiddies bc of spring break. so last night, james & i started making music again, had a fun "jam session," & w/work brain shut down for this upcoming staycation wk, musical ideas started to seep to the surface. music brain & work brain seem to be exclusive in me for some reason, so mebbe song creating will be another good to come of this unprecedented time in our lives.
may you be well, stay safe, make something good, share it.

teaching online, teaching online, teaching online, teaching online

the future of america (we can relax)

vickie and one of her humans

how are you? i am a remote teacher now -- not in temperament, but in physical space from my students. my students are now doing what i did at NCOC SF: distance learning. i am happy. i want to tap dance. i am speaking by phone with my kiddies, and friday we'll have a zoom meeting, so i'll be able to see them. yay! i love my students. one is a bright, artistic, handsome boy from el salvador (w/equally sturdy, friendly brother & father). his beautiful mother used to attend my english classes at the library, & the boy sent pix of some of his animals. his family leads a pastoral life out in lockwood valley, a golden plane rimmed by forest about 10 miles west. when i told him that i loved pigs & asked if they raise them for meat or for pets, he sent me a pic of a pig they have named vickie, writing, "vickie is now your pigy [sic]." (one hour later...) i've gotten to help a student walk through/talk through a division problem & some add/subtract, discuss PE ideas, a ray bradbury story i assigned, etc etc... out the window the sky is blue, blue, blue with snow expected this eve; only feet away, western bluebirds, brilliantly colored -- nearly cerulean, w/tan chests -- are peeping & flipping through the tree branches like tiny aerialists.
james is away at lake hughes helping others; charts show the virus is leveling out in california; i will see my kids friday for a zoom meeting; & on day 37 of my illness (NOT covid-19; i was tested!) i continue to get better... considering this is life on life's terms, all is good, very good.

my hero part 1,000,000,000,000...

james posted the entry below on facebook along w/one of the pix lisa knapp sent him from a photo shoot he had done in hollywood when he was about 20, he thinks, & was pointed toward acting til he got too busy with music. what a glamour-puss! dad said, upon receiving the photo from james, "i'm looking at a picture of a young stud." mama said, as i thought she would, "you're cuter now!"
the writing below is typical james, & it's garnered lots of comment. what got me was what he said: "i wrote it to try to make people feel better. and me, too. i wanted to feel better."
i thought of my post below & realized what a troll i can be.
james wanted to make people laugh. that's what he does. that's only one of his methods of rescue. (at his last show, last sunday, he threw toilet paper to the crowd between songs.)
i can learn a lot if i really look at what he does before i do most anything
. my hero. :) enjoy the post.
-------
Hello, James here. I don't get involved in most stuff that flies around on social media, & I'm not worried about getting the virus myself. My body is full of all sorts of wonderful mind bending manic inducing goodies........There is, however, one thing I'm not happy about......Here goes.... I've been playing music in bars, honkey tonks, at weddings, birthday parties, bike runs, festivals, freaky bachelorette slut parties, freakier bachelor parties with dudes I used to think were decent people acting like they have never seen a naked woman in person ( Yes Bill Bloughst, that means you, freak boy) house parties, Elk's, Moose, V.F.W. halls and just about every other place that does not have a stage, air conditioning, bathrooms that don't stink......Anyways, I'm getting off track here. Here's what I'm getting at. Almost every place I've ever played at (been doing music since I was 16, see photo), at the end of the night, I steal the toilet paper.....Have not paid for a$$ wipe for 35 years. It's the only crime against civillians that I continue to be actively involved in. It's one of the only adrenaline rushes I get to have...Stealing toilet paper, WOOOHOOO. Well, that's all over. C19 (whatever it's called) came to town, & the bars, honkey tonks etcetera have been closed, I can't get my T.P. hustle on, never kept any spare rolls around, i'd just bag some more Sat. night at Shenanigan's or whatever tight a$$ed establishment fired me for singing about humpin', beating up some jack a$$ that would not quit doing what I told him not to do or some ding bat assistant manager dude or chick that refuses to turn off the go#%#mn juke box or the jockstrap contest on the 75 inch hd plasma, surround sound, built in E.S.P.N flat screen....You know, the one that's less than 5 inches from your head while you're singing? $h*t!
To make a long story longer, my shows are all cancelled -- not just mine, all my incredibly talented, hard working people in our So. Cal. blues, rock, rockabilly, hillbilly, jazz, tribute bands, karaoke hosts (what's up, Maria?) kitchen staff, all my fav. super cool bartenders (Dave Hayden, Bro. Thomas Wheeler, Avocado Sandra) and most of all, the wonderful extended family a musician is blessed with. The music lovers. I don't like the word "fan" -- I consider the people who come down to the club and join us in our super duper lowdown, dirty, nasty, funky, boogie woogie roller coaster rides to be my friends. Heck, a lot them have become part of my family. This whole thing sucks, we know that. Worst of all, I've got to go immediately to the throne and feed the warden (Prison jive for having to go poo poo).
There's no Charman to sqeeze at the Piggly Wiggly, and worst of all, no show to play, no way to quiet the carnival in my brain, and no more toilet paper to steal.........Fu##! I didn't see this one coming. I love and miss all of you. please be good to each other -- we'll get through this thing. Goodbye, I've got to find a corn cob........

our turn

it's our turn to suffer. when people around the world have suffered, so very often, due to man-made troubles/tragedies or mother nature's volatile whims, i don't hear those around me expressing concern for more than a week or two (including me). 

the shelves in stores are empty. the richer the store, the emptier the shelves. james says, "poor people don't have time to worry about the end of the world." he went out in the snow to run final errands "before the storm hits" & came back grinning cheerfully. he had seen a friend of his who lives in the riverbed under the bridge & asked how he was doing. "i'm good, man," the friend said. "i never use toilet paper, anyway!"

james has been saying "the grid is going down" since i met him. he saw stuff like that happen in the military. he's doing fine right now, not a fear. he just continues to quote men in black (people are dangerous animals) & tell me "we're gonna be fine, baby. i'm trained for this!"

we went to walmart saturday. all looked normal til we went by the food aisles, the cleaning product aisle, the paper aisles. there was a barricade in front of winco; they were limiting the number of people who could enter. aldi was limiting purchases to two of this, four of that. the rice i bought had a tear in the box, so i went back to get another... but there was no more. at all. 

 the most hard-hit of all was the long beach whole foods that is located in a brand new behemoth of a spankingly expensive westside-style mall that was dropped where one of our favorite decrepit motels had been. this whole foods was empty, empty, empty... well, about 70% so... and full of determined, well-fed, athletic anglo people in expensive casual wear.

yes, those folks in their north face & lululemon gear definitely use toilet paper.

they have time to shop. they may have extra home, fridge, freezer space. they have the income to buy it all. and to hell with everyone else as they grab theirs & everyone else's, too.

i heard about biden's calming speech, but seems to've come too late. americans are freaking out from coast to coast. relatives in texas & kentucky say it's just as nutty out there.

meanwhile, the italians are singing on balconies.

yes, we consumerism-brainwashed americans definitely are sick. :(

anyways, i haven't posted in a while bc i've been physically sick since feb 19. it's not cov-d 19... it's not! it's not!!! i have self-diagnosed flu into acute bronchitis into maybe walking pneumonia into ear infection... but yesterday was nice when james propped me up to go w/him to his "birthday gig," which wouldn't've been possible today bc the governor has ordered the bars closed to stomp out this virus. sat we'd had such a nice dave's bbq lunch with "my side" of the family, then yesterday outback w/"his side." in the emptied middle-class restaurant comfort, hygienically clean, we had so much good eating, so much good sharing. we are so very fortunate. then we drove to his gig at the marina & i graded papers in the car, like last sat not willing to be around a bunch of ppl & hazard worsening my health, then i walked in the eve, feeling so weary as is my usual this past month, & looked at the beachy scene & thought once again, man, this is nice, but definitely not my thing, then i picked him up & we had shake shack & drove home. i laid back & rested & he sang along w/& exhalted the musical excellence of bob wills & the texas playboays as the wind knocked the little red car around the road...

today the snow finally is sticking. it's been too warm all day, so it's been coming down then melting, but now, looks like about 4 inches already in the past half hour. so turns out they were right to call a snow day. schools will be closing for a month come wednesday, so i think they were equivocating a bit, too, anticipating that, closing it today to get a jump on things. looks like so many kids would've been gone today, anyhow, parents keeping them home to be safe. likely very few kids will come to school tomorrow, so maybe they'll call a snow day tomorrow, too, since it's sposed to come down pretty heavily thru then.

i cried on james's shoulder when i learned about our schools closing. i'll miss my students a lot. i'm sad for us all, but it's our turn. hope we teachers do get called to be disaster workers like i read we could so we can take food to families & i can visit my students.

i am worried about the poor up here. but we sure are good, even w/my crappy health, & tomorrow is james's birthday. wash your hands & stay safe.

elderberry, cherry cherry, blackberry, port and cherry

https://youtu.be/g0lmX06odhw
james just told me this is sonny terry & brownie mcgee!
i pulled up this song because i just had my first taste of elderberry syrup, & it cut my flu to the point that i was able to get out of bed!!! i love elderberry syrup!! it is delicious, & articles i just read state that research backs that it can cut flu symptoms by four days.
get some elderberry syrup!

i don't get around much anymore

https://youtu.be/Snixos3tr6g - only known tv footage of piano red, says the description... i think this shot might also contain... jan michael vincent? maybe? very cool. very very cool. i mean, the piano red part. i don't know anything about jmv except as a face on tv in the 70s. the best parts of the video are red playing & singing; red talking; & red not moving an extra muscle, just keeps playing while a tv-show fake fight breaks out right by him, red true in the manner of the boogie-woogie players of barrel houses of old.
the show must go on.
and the stupidest part is tony franciosa saying, "red, play me some blues. some real low-down blues," with that cheesy grin on his face.

Sober

There's a funny song by Piano Red by that name. When you're sober, you agree to no longer imbibe artificial instantaneous (tho temporary) relief. A sober person's just gotta take life's lumps and learn to deal w it, be willing to grow up, to show up, to give up... All that, tho, to get a life.
I've been sober 1 day at a time for 8,973 days. If I continue, I will get to celebrate 25 yrs w/o booze in Detroit at the world convention July 4 wknd. Nothing's more important & this whole life I get to live rests on my sobriety.
But most ppl don't stay sober. Jails institutions and death are the usual. Or going on day after interminable day. Or repeatedly stumbling, which I think over time would beat a soul down.
So far that's not been my lot.
I am supremely thankful, & I pray right now, again & again, that I don't forget.

little free libraries, angie & missy

the nice local librarian, sue, lets me take box after box of discards from the library donations. these are books the library cannot add to its collection or even sell due to condition or type. (coloring books are never accepted, for instance.) i then get to sort through, adding most to the free little library out front of the house, the rest to school. and some stay with my bibliophile family members bc the variety of books is amazing!! i'm astounded over & over & over & over at the vastness of titles & subjects.
the other day penny was barking her head off outside. i investigated & saw a man trying to look at books in our free little library. most of the tomes within had been ruined by the christmas snow storm; the worst i already had chucked; the remaining, tho still damaged, were readable. i grabbed penny to bring her in so the man could peruse the books.
"it's ok," he said, "she's a good guard dog."
 a few minutes after, i happened to glance out the window. the guy was taking ARMLOADS of books to his car! i later told sue & she said, "oh gosh, i hope he wasn't using them for firewood." (many folks up here really struggle; the weather's harsh in winter, there are few jobs, & if a person's w/o wheels, the steep, steep roads make a hike to the store arduous.) i didn't think that sad thought was the case bc the books still were damp, therefore not flammable -- at least immediately. and he wouldn't be able to resell them due to their condition.
i concluded this guy was a REAL READER &, maybe like i am, grabs whatever he sees that loved ones might enjoy.
i'm so pleased to be the conduit allowing books to stay in kern county rather than going into the dump!
now if only james or i actually could get access to the REAL dump...
(not a hoarder, not a hoarder, not a hoarder, not a hoarder)
yesterday james went to his gig & i drove mom & dad to a wedding out in the mojave desert at the exotic feline conservation center (http://www.cathouse-fcc.org/). the bride has been sister angie's best friend since age 7, a shy but cheerful sprite in love w/cats & rave culture. missy's been volunteering at the place for year & years, meeting her husband there. this place is so very worth the visit! astounding to walk a cement path & view sleek, lithe, gorgeous, lolling, pacing creatures such as lynx, tiger, jaguar, cougar... wow!!
the ring bearer was a serval on leash. the groom wore traditional tux, the bride 6-inch monster platforms, a sparkly mini dress, & bright pink hair in bunny-ear tails. best of all was when my sister got up: she was the minister!! i burst into tears. the ceremony, which she wrote, was funny, silly, warm-hearted & wise. i remembered angie & missy, tiny girls, playing barbies on the steps outside our 1st real house on hollins street in the early 70s. here they were! wonderful.
afterward, we drove along desert roads, abandoned sun-& wind-wrecked buildings all around & a rhyolite mine on the hills in the distance, & had family luncheon at a mexican restaurant to celebrate mary fafa's birthday. it was a wonderful day & only would've been better if james had been there.
this morning i drank coffee, had pb&j, & got to read about 30 pgs of a fun 1897 title from the library discards. the pursuit of the house boat by john kendrick bangs features a bunch of dead famous folks, shades in hades, in search of their ship, stolen by capt kidd. this victorian satire --  hamlet bickers with noah, shylock with samson, etc -- struck me as the granddaddy of mad magazine: absurd, silly, irreverent commentary on society. leading the mystery is sherlock holmes, who in 1897 temporarily  was dead, killed off by arthur conan doyle in "the adventure of the final problem." sir acd was burned out on writing holmes installments, but approved of & enjoyed his character's appearance in his friend bangs's parody.
a penultimate note: a quick search disclosed that assembling disparate characters, real & imaginary, is known as "bangsian fantasy."

blablablablablablablablablablabla

dumped all last yr's pix online finally & found these from last
springwhen we had a really nice time in baton rouge & new orleans

this is a good-nite post. i've tried all day to work on school planning, but it ain't happened. therefore i will just do a little yoga after this, then hit the sack early to get up in the a.m. & work. the weather's been cooperating lately so it shouldn't be too arduous, getting up & getting to work. in fact, it's been dang beautiful here, like a song, a gentle song, a dream, like this morning i get up with my coffee & look out the screen at the shadowed snow-dappled mountain across the way & all these fat little quail chirping & digging & squawking & jigging on the driveway & i think, i don't remember EVER looking outside & feeling such peace, not ONCE, when i lived in bakersfield... dad does it all the time, but i was not awake back then, not really alive in many ways...
life changes if we live! if we live!
i've not participated for yars, but it's still weird there's no longer an art fein presents elvis's birthday bash. those things dwindled to smallish, & last yr i actually did get to perform, tho i guess art thought i'd cancelled & gaped when i showed up. one song went well, one tanked (i assumed the house band'd play it just like elvis did, so that's the way i larned it, but that wudden how it came out). sigh; que lastima. i guess since ronnie mack moved to bakersfield, art's got no partner to put together the show. and so it goes. all things come to an end. the earth, the continents, the oceans, the elvis show, you, me. requiescat en pace.
i was thinkin bout this because the other day i got a facebook msg sent to me from JAMES, my husband, & that is something that's never, ever happened in the 7 yrs we've had a facebook page. and it said, "jenny! i met you 10 years ago tonight! I love you! james." this certainly is proof Things Has Changed Round Here. i was over the moon -- just that little note! he thought of me; he's considerate; he's just as kooky, creative, tough, foul-mouthed, big-hearted, & sweet as ever, but now... responsible & thoughtful, too? my short life is amazing.
we did meet at the elvis show, jan 8 2010, so i always gotta thank art fein for having it, tho james says we woulda met anyways. i've detailed The Story of How We Met on here many times, so i won't go into it again... we were watching rick steves the other night, shows about normandy & scotland & the ireland one was too depressing, with all the warring murals & extremist people shown, & i thought, am i really sitting here with whiteboy james watching RICK STEVES?!?! we were enjoying it, too, tho i realized rick steves might be such a smilingly engaging nebbishy dude cause he's half in the bag mosta the time: all episodes featured a lot of drankin. then i've been reading a book mama lent me, a funny funny thing by peter mayle about eating in france, which after skipping the chapters about wine, eating pigs (nono for me) & frogs (nono for james), was a quick enjoyment, & i brings this up bc drinking to many folks enhances life, but for me, it's death. and my life with james has gotten good, better, best since he put the plug in the jug close to 6 months ago... and  he said not to make a big deal about it
but i will say this: i'm just so very grateful & proud of him. in near-25 years, i've seen so, so many people who stop, then start drinking again, or disappear, up & die, or don't drink & are such  know-it-alls or jerks you just wish they would drink so maybe they would chill out a little, & james, at least for today, is a humble positive example of the sober life. who woulda thought.
who woulda thought.
i mean... who woulda thought.
and watching rick steves, an episode on northern italy, i thought about "the haircut," the one i got in pisa decades ago bc bettie page was on the cover of rolling stone & i didn't know it but it had started a hairdo rage, & the stories that go with that, & the compliments i still get for "the haircut," even tho it's now gray, especially from black women, maybe cause my damn hair's so straight, & i hope i get to go to pisa with james, & normandy, & brittany, & scotland, & paris, & all the places we want to go because now we can, at least today. yes, right now i am so darn grateful tho who knows what tomorrow will bring... i hope good, but i'm not god, so quien sabe.
well, goodnight. but first, oh, how's this for a fine one? “Nearly every night before I go to bed I ask myself, "Have I vibrated in tune with the Infinite today, or have I failed?” (don marquis)

happy new year!!!

we had the most low-key ny eve ever, tucked in bed with animals. i found a countdown on youtube one  minute before midnight, counted down, then kissed sleeping james on the forehead before turning out the lights, leaving the tv on low as it streamed the fireworks extravaganza from london.
eight years ago last night, i slipped out of a gig with karling's band (after our set, of course, & missing phil alvin, who popped up unannounced, but i didn't care, which told me things were REALLY shifting for me!!!!) & met up with james, and then it was on, at least for those days, as it had been in late september, that 1st time we met up, but then we were off again since both of us were mired in bad relationships. those didn't last, but we have.
it was crazy times back then, but not now, not now, & i'm grateful.
to get away from snow, & on heels of christmas family travel (to bakersfield, to orange co), last week we went to the beach with dog girl (well, we took her) & went out one night to see his friend john marx play at a beautiful, beautiful place, grapes & hops, which i'd spotted earlier while walking old main street (a wine bar! but oh, how lovely it was, & they served non-alcoholic beverages & delicious stuff to eat), & the whole entire trip was so happy. here are some pictures from hotel room & a few of james, in one just sitting there yet so iconic at grapes & hops, in the next goofing around with hotel towel & fluff from dog toy that penny had murdered.

and now it's 2020, so let's drink a cup of kindness for this new year burst to life.

holiday show!

today we have our holiday show at school! the teachers insisted we do it on the big stage, so we're gonna do it. i don't think they realize we haven't had much time at all to create & prep this show. the kids came up with all the acts (well, i nudged one that couldn't focus, so now they're doing a variation on whose line is it, anyway?). at the end, the staff is SUPPOSED to sing. james & i will do a few numbers. and i'm so happy my long-haired boys, who can be alienated from school, are going to perform. they are so talented. one, we found, can sing like johnny cash, so that's what he'll do today. the other dropped right in on high hat & ANYTHING HE CAN HIT WITH A STICK & is laying down a perfect 2-beat. this angelic boy is a supremely talented musician; he can play anything. a quartet is performing a play they wrote. when james came to watch a rehearsal the other day, i saw his face beaming w warmth as these little ones danced & sang. middle school is so interesting that way: kids are on the cusp, some still so innocent, others heading into adulthood, some unfortunately much more sophisticated than they should have to be. i am so sad about one of our girls, who was mistreated terribly by some boys. i still have high hopes for this girl, who is sharp as a tack. so many of our kids have horrible lives bc of their adult custodians. then there are others whose only offense is poverty. some parents toil bravely under such conditions. i am glad right now we are reading dickens, & that i get to be there with these little lives, watching them, supporting them, hoping to shape them. i love them so very much now, in my middle-aged years. i am grateful for this change of my heart.

yesterday's show

was so wonderful. so much talent. only one snob. that snob should know even if that snob knew big manny well, manuel would never go for someone being a snob!!! i am trying to get ready for work, but i am overwhelmed with self-consciousness due to having seen a video. my vocals sounded horrible!!! i look like a fat cow!! ok, i'm over it now. i have to go to work.

everyone was wonderful. the snob played really great guitar, schooled by manuel.

james kicked butt, as usual. ruben & raul showed up. jaime & tommy harkenrider are complete gentlemen.

ok, i just heard a school bus go by. i am going to go to work now & be a teacher & not think about screaming into a mike trying to hear because i didn't check my monitor & wearing a dress that made me look like a fool.

manuel would have loved, loved, loved the show in his honor. that's the thing to remember, not a snob & how sh*tty i looked & sounded.

i'm going to work now.

tomorrow!! sunday!!

https://www.facebook.com/whiteboyandjenny/photos/a.511826072306344/1437056106449998/?type=3&theater
updates: we'll have a raffle of little cool stuff for christmas gifts, oneself. raul medrano will be there! when i talk to raul on the phone, it's a little spooky in a nice way bc he sounds so much like manuel in inflection & just what he says, which makes sense since they were friends most of their lives. everyone is happy raul will be there! james will get to see tommy harkenrider, who played in james's band years ago! (i think most everyone played with james's band!)... actually, the so-cal & beyond american music  scene has many cross-overs, connections, & incesty [sic] parallels. i'm not sure what i mean by that except to say everyone seems to know everyone, even when the scene is nearly dead! like with manuel: at various times, he played with karling's band (with whom i played), had mike vernon playing with him (a texan guitar player i used to know), and,,,, and,,, well, i need more coffee, i think. i had many, many connections a minute ago.
...but like we go someplace & see at least one someone with whom one of us have played or one of us met, knew, friends of someone, even when we're out of state, like it's happened in new orleans, in boulder, green bay, milwaukee, paris, etc.. this sounds braggy but it IS interesting, i think... time for more coffee...
aaaaaah. better. (insert ken nordine; man, this is just swell! listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k88msPKWkKY )
...maybe it's not incestuous except where ppl who played in bands together like bros & sisses then get involved, which has happened & near-happened to me before i met james. maybe the connections are more like the three degrees of separation. that does seem to be true. many are easy these days for me bc  james has met so many famous, really bada** people, but let me see if it works, truly works:
1. the resident of the u.s. -> mike tyson -> us
...yeccccccccch.
2. barack obama -> mike tyson -> us.
...i like that one better.
3. muhammad ali ->> mike tyson -> us.
4. lady gaga -> mike tyson -> us.
... maybe if you meet mike tyson, you have indirectly met most people of the world! let's go another direction...
5. arnold schwarzenegger -> james -> me
6. elon musk -> cousin paul -> me
i think it works!