loving ppl

is expensive!!!! mama says, it's just money. (if you have it, that is.) i can be lonesome & loaded or beloved & brokeish. i guess the latter is the one i'll keep going for!!!

hokelly smokelly!!!!

look what i just found!!!! Dusk Devils on Bandmine

three topics

1. health & illness

2. music

3. husband

so re numbero uno, trying to remove popcorn piece from maw, i used a nifty plastic toothpick, a device i'm new to, which i should have noted resembled a tiny sword, & accidentally but deftly stabbed my tender gum flesh, resulting in an electric shock & much blood. the spot was darn swole for some time, morphing into terrible head illness (i've noted here life'd be better if only for my head, & too bad i can't get around w/o it). jaw, gums, teeth, ear, throat, tonsil, the only things that didn't throb were my nostrils & eyeballs. after a very quick trip to the lone star state & worrying myself near to death about barometric pressure cabin changes that might possibly cause the infirm coconut to explode, i made it to the dentist.

"i hevv never seen this," the elderly european gent clipped. "your tooth iss goood... but the root iss infect-ed."

i called to moan to dearest father about this, thinking it something special. "oh yes," he said. "i've had two of those."

ah! heredity! also... stupidity! (in my case.)

now am on a hefty regimen of old-school antibiotics. the evil stabbing toothpicks are out front of the house in our curbside free little library, which has turned into the curbside free little junk stop. let some younger or smarter person deal with them. i am now swore off the things for life.

re music... there has been none w/james tho we WILL HAVE THE CHRISTMAS CHANGO JAM THIS YEAR!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!! i "play" each day at school, wonderful school, at which we sing patriotic songs each morning. ("john brown's body" is october's morbid tune -- it's so cool to teach little kids about him, let them decide that yes, he had the right idea, but he went about it the wrong way.) then the transition songs: now working w/littler ones -- which, how did i know would be so fun? --- i come up w/tunes on the fly all the time, & they jump right in, singing & dancing & moving along. how was i to know what a great little kid teacher i'd be?? how swell & rewarding it would be to teach little kids?? i just love it!!!

then their clean up songs: "linus & lucy" followed by "the pink panther."

boy, i just love these little kids, & this clean & safe school, & the fellowship amongst the adults. plus i get to still see many of the middle school kids, former students, as they wait for the bus at our school... who knew such a great job was waiting just one mile from this casa? every day as i drive to work (3 minutes!), i want to pinch myself. how did this happen???

topic 3: my husband, hurricane james, whom i love so very much, has an annoying habit of leaving, then losing his phone, or not charging his phone, or yaddayadda. fortunately, because i have this new job (3 minute drive!!), this impedes my life only a crumb. the house is so clean & quiet while he flies around this or that place in smellay & socal. i eat & write & watch on tv whatever i want.

however, we DO miss him. there is no james crashing & banging & singing & braying & smiling & grouching around the house, no stomping down the steps, no bb guns or potato guns firing into the arroy, no booms from the basement like something from you can't take it with you, no cigarette smoke, no cigarette ashes, no messy piles & nests all around the house, basement, little house, & porches, no clomping steps & late-night singing & strumming & guffawing & joke-yelling & cussing.

the animals lay forlornly across the couch, peering at the door. "where is daddy?" they seem to say.

i get into magic bed & all the covers are neatly arranged, instead of the usual seeming tornado-aftermath that is there.

i can complain, but i won't. my cousin in tx just says, "you gotta roll with it. life sucks, but you gotta look for the good moments." (i really have so many.)... and mama says, "there's no one like him." that is so true.

but tonight i will get into the soft, silent bed, the lovely smart bed with massage & adjustable head & foot & silky sheets & pillows, & without my hurricane here, even with my best intentions of reading or watching a show sordid or edifying, or playing a game, or exercising or meditating, i will drop off to sleep. just. like. that.

do some huggin' & lovin' at the county fair

i'm certain i've posted this before, but turns out james helped write that song, one of my favorites from phil alvin's county fair 2000 LP, being reissued without the names of ppl who helped on the project, such as james... we love county fairs. we went to the kern. a tiny fallow bell pepper sat in the soil at the outdoor ag exhibit. i put it in my bag, we got back to the gias', sliced & ate it, james, me & the gias... we will soon i hope go to the biggest fair in the country. we shall see what happens.

grateful!!!

still alive! over the latest bad cold! sun is shining! not too sore! still sober! loved ones are healthy! my new job is swell! there is always a chance for better! life is good! these pix: my 57th bd with dear parents & sister; dear james with sister sherri in seattle; happy visit with funny aunt pam & my favorite uncle ralph near seattle; dear mrs lorenza hughes, santa rita nm native, my mentor teacher, a gentle & admired nonagenarian, with mom & dad at dwk luncheon; 94 yr old dolores huerta leads the crowd in cheers for madame president; my former student matthew, who as a little boy looked like john belushi-meets-pugsley, returns from army leave to visit his old teacher; daisy the hyper lovebug takes a nap in sherri's lovely washington home.

happy birthday to me

happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to me (tho without the other one, the sobriety bd, i likely wouldn't be having this one anymore.)

blablabla & then some of the things we remember

james doesn't want me to write about any of the snaky underhanded crap that happened, so i will just go blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablalbablablablablablablabalablablabalbalablabalbalablabalbalbalabalbalabalbalablabalbalablabalbalbalablabalbalablabalbalablabalablabalablabalbalbaalalabablaalabablababalablablablalalalbabalablalbabalalablablaalalbalablababalalabalalalaalalalalablabalbalbalaba
hahhhh
aaaahhhhhhh....swamp cooler... the smell of my childhood...
what are the senses of your childhood?
the sounds:
jenny: crickets, mourning doves, & trains.
james: the train going by. we lived in paramount & compton, & the train went right by our house.
jenny: we lived right by the train in fresno when we lived there for a year when i was a baby. and trains were everywhere i lived in bakersfield, on the east side & downtown. 42 years.
the music:
jenny: dad would sing songs with us & teach us to sing along: the union maid, billy barlow, & the gettystone light. & the christmas coke commercial with i'd like to teach the world to sing, so i was 2 & a half.
james: cartoons, bugs bunny & stuff. one of the earliest ones i saw was the one when cab calloway was the walrus. i didn't know who he was, but i remembered the hi-dee ho & the way he moved.
both: bad, bad leroy brown!
james: jim croce, you know he got drafted, & he met leroy brown, & leroy brown was a street hustler from the south side of chicago. he was like 6'9" and weighed 300 lbs, & he didn't wanna be in the army, it was just something to do, so when he got his pay, he just went back home. when my mom used to have me go to the bar to get my dad when he'd been up too long, he would have me up on the bar singing songs, & that was one of the songs. and then later, everybody went, bad bad whiteboy james cause i had two diamond rings, i had the custom continental & an el dorado, too, i had a 32 gun & a pocket full of fun, i had razors in my shoe, i liked to shoot dice, leroy brown liked to shoot dice...
the smells:
jenny: the swamp cooler, fideos & beans, & the burning smell of the wall heater. also what i now know is called petrichor -- the smell of the rain when we would get it.
james: produce at the market. the rotten produce, the fresh produce, the meat section, just all the food smells going on at little farmers.
the tastes:
jenny: fresh ripe delicious figs from grandma mary's and the ramirezes' trees. bottle cap candy from woolworth's. and tortillas with butter.
james: berries from the berry tree in the field by my house. there were the red ones & the blue ones. i used to sit in the tree and pretend i was a monkey. and we had a huge avocado tree in my yard. i used to sit in the tree & eat avocados all day. i have the perfect method. i can get the whole avocado out without making a mess. every once in a while i would put toothpicks in one & watch it sprout.
what did you see?
both: comic books & mad magazine. and the train caboose.

well, i ain't up to my baby tonight, cause it's too darn hot

when we went thru santa clarita the other day, the temp read 118 fahrenheit.
gadzooky!!! that is an all-time high for me.
the hottest i recall during my life in bakersfield was 114. thought that was bad!
today i read a comment: we are experiencing the unintended consequences of our actions. el cambio de clima es aqui!!!
james said in the middle east the mercury would hit the 120s. americans in combat gear would pass out from the suffocating & unrelenting conditions. on this occasion, a scary story once again was breezily relayed by mister james, who's lived thru more of those than any bless-ed pack of humans i've ever met.
today i did so little, just sapped, i guess, by the torporous [sic] heat. i managed to lay some tile in the bathroom & cleaned & read, but it not much compared to the usual 24-hours. focusing on the animals, wetting them down, giving them lots of water, kept me busy. after all, i'm not wearing a fur coat while going thru this.
the tiny home named bluey, our new one, now features a kick-butt little a/c, but james & his buddy were working on the little blue one, so i stayed away. that will be a cool retreat for the family during upcoming hot days.
lately have watched a few german horror/sci-fi films of note: anatomie (2000) & (a better film) anatomie 2 (2003). creepy, cautionary premiseeees, to be sure. i also recommend the thoughtful & devastating fiction continental drift by the great russell banks. today i started joe gould's teeth by jill lepore of the new yorker. that one looks to be a deep but snappy read. as for music lately? there's been bupkis since i subbed w/james's band.
on a few nice notes, however, we celebrated my 29th sobriety bd at a peaceful motel in 1000 oaks & enjoyed a wonderful meal at pickle's deli ("want some pickles?" the polite mebbe-owner asked, appearing out of nowhere, & yes yes, we did!) & yesterday i got to visit my friend marjorie finally. she left the hill when her family placed her at kingsley manor in west hollywood, an expansive 1939 brownstone where she can eat well in an art deco dining hall with white tablecloths, enjoy a community of friends, & gaze upon the los angeles & hollywood skylines from a gorgeous rooftop. so happy my beautiful friend is now safe & cared for.